Ernest Goes to Camp

Ernest Goes to Camp is a 1987 movie starring Jim Varney as the popular TV commercial character Ernest P. Worrell as he tries to be a camp counselor.

Directed by John R. Cherry III. Written by John R. Cherry III and Coke Sams.

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Dialogue

[Nurse St. Cloud gives Ernest a shot]

Ernest: I did it! I took the Lindbergh baby! I am Josef Mengele! Owwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

[Jake is trying to get Ernest to taste his "Eggs erronious"]

Jake: Now Ernest, would someone dressed up like this lie to you about food?

Ernest: Fond as I am in Tibetian cooking, a hungry lion always hunts best. KnowhatImean?

[Counselor Stennis is sitting in a lifeguard perch and is about to teach the boys a swimming lesson.]

Counselor Stennis: Okay. Everybody to the line. All right, everybody in the water.

[Everyone jumps in the water except for Moustafa]

Some boys: Hey! C'mon, Moose!

Counselor Stennis: Moustafa, Moose, whatever they call you. NOW! So you're the only one who can't swim? Well, you're gonna learn the Stennis way.

Moustafa: No! NO! I can't swim!

[Too late; Stennis picks up Moustafa and drops him into the water]

Moustafa: [sinking fast] Help! Somebody help!

[Ernest saves Moustafa from drowning]

Moustafa: Thanks, Ernest. I could've made it.

Ernest: Glad to help out.

Counselor Stennis: Well, meatheads, we're gonna try this again. This time it's to the end of the lake and back. Everybody in the water.

[The boys topple Stennis' lifeguard perch into the water]

Counselor Stennis: [in severe agony] My leg! My leg!

Danny: He’s learning to swim the Stennis way!

[The boys laugh at Stennis' expense]

Counselor Stennis: My leg! Aah!

Mr. Tipton Ernest, Have you had any leadership experience?

Ernest: I had an antfarm once.

Mr. Tipton: Close enough.

Nurse St. Cloud: And that was the ceremony of the Blade, the Stone and the Arrow.

Ernest: Like in our culture: Paper, Rock, Scissors.

[last lines]

Mr. Tipton: What happened?

Chief St. Cloud: Ernest broke the sign.

Mr. Tipton: Well. At least no one was hurt.

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Ernest Goes to Camp