Erika Jayne

American singer and actress

Erika Jayne (born July 10, 1971) is an American singer-songwriter, author, actress and television personality.

Erika Jayne, 2020


  • Don't let anyone else tell you when your time is up or what's best for you, you make that. And if you live by what other people want you to do with your life, you will be miserable, I can guarantee you that.
  • I said you know what, I thought my transformation was that I needed to transform into Erika Jayne, but my true transformation took place when Erika Jayne showed me that Erika Girardi was just fine the whole time. It was just a truer, shinier version of myself. And you can be fluent in both of your personas, both your personalities. We all have them, whether you’re on a reality television show or not, whether you’re 47 years old and you’re out there singing and dancing. You’re not the same person at home as you are at work, or with other people, so there are performance personas whether you acknowledge them or not. And transformation is individual. This is my story, my experiences, doing this stuff. Maybe yours is something different, but they’re equally important.
  • Blonde bombshell is always in. Don’t ever let anybody tell you it isn’t... I don’t think I’m gonna cut my hair. I’ve already shaved my head twice in my life. At 47, it’s not really an option. This is who I am.
  • This week’s episode discussing Tom’s car accident is hard to watch. We both live such busy lives working that sometimes it takes accidents like this to remind us of what’s most important in life—each other. I’m thankful he's made a full recovery, and just in case you were wondering, he never stopped working.
  • Well, my mother and I were discussing how my father left when I was nine months old, and then she remarried and divorced again. I feel like I had blocked out that part of my childhood. I went back with her trying to piece it all back together. I was looking at it through 46 year-old eyes and thinking it was basically ten years of bullshit.
  • There are a couple of skills you take away from Housewives. You learn to be quick on your feet, stand your ground. I’ve always been kind of unapologetic, but you grow into that or into your own skin. You have a choice: you can either grow into your skin or you can back out. It will test your strength and patience - it will definitely run the gamut so you can figure out a little bit more of what you’re made of.
  • I like to slip out in the middle of the night and take my Lamborghini and drive it really fast on the highway. There’s a particular one close to my house in Pasadena. I just roll down the windows, and it’s kind of like I just slip into the night.
  • I was living Tom’s life. There are only so many material things you can have before it becomes boring. There are only so many dinners, so many things you can buy. I was complacent. I was in a wealthy coma and I wasn’t looking inward.
  • Erika Jayne is six words: fantasy, love, escape, glitz, glamour, and fun. I think women should live out loud. I think that we should be fearless. I think we should express ourselves. I think we should have fun. And I don’t think anyone should dictate to you when your best days are, or that you are too old to express yourself. You are of worth and value in your 40s, 50s, and 60s. You don’t have to stop doing what you love simply because you’re not 25. I just think that those are old ideas that need to be broken and discarded quite honestly.
  • Inside all of us is a boss. You just gotta go find her. That’s the truth. Everyone is capable. Everyone has the ability. A lot of it is timing. A lot of it is right place, right time. A lot of it is not giving up. A lot if it is push, dreams, following those [dreams] through, and tenacity. You can do it. It’s going to be hard. People are going to tell you no. But no matter what your goal is in life, there’s always a way. You just have to look for that way. Sometimes you have to make that way. Sometimes you have to go around people. Sometimes you may have to go through people. But there’s always a way to make it happen.
  • I felt like I was just not being myself. I felt like I was hiding. I was hiding from me. I was hiding from sparkle and magic and fun and fearlessness and music and dance and creative magic... I just knew I had feelings. I knew I had thoughts. I knew I had things I wanted to say. Listen, I'm rebellious. Okay? I always have been. And Erika Jayne is a little bit of a rebel too.
  • I’m a showman. I believe that you’re a character every time you put on clothes. Tomorrow I may be another in hoops and tight jeans and a bomber. Clothes, to me, or wardrobe express characters.
  • Obviously, being on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills brought more awareness to Erika Jayne and brought her out of the clubs and into people’s living rooms. I’m very thankful for that. I have nothing but great things to say about my experience.
  • As a performer, I’ve always been very inspired by Andy Warhol and the Studio 54 era– the wardrobe, the glamour, the free-spirited underground club world.
  • I don't think anyone should tap you on the shoulder and tell you that it's time to sit down and retire. Imagine if I told you, "You know what, you should really hang it up right now." As women, we need to do more to support each other. And I think it's a lot of old rules that are being broken.
  • Another thing Tom and I enjoy doing is visiting our small circle of friends, so spending an afternoon in Malibu with David and Yolanda is always a nice little escape. It’s always good to bounce creative ideas off of someone as incredibly talented as David. Even after all of his success in the business, he’s still willing to listen with a fresh set of ears and gives great feedback.
  • My job is to take you to a place of fantasy and help you escape your reality. Nothing makes me happier than to put on some crazy costume and dance around. It’s what I live for.
  • New York City is such an awesome place with a lot of great artists doing great things at the top level. There was so much going on then and so much going on now. It was really ‘the’ place to go to hone your artistry. I became a member of a couple of girl groups early on and performed at a few clubs around there. But basically, I was doing any job I could just to stay alive. A lot of extra work. I was a starving artist.
  • I've been fortunate enough to tour all over the country. I'm always going to be over the top - I'm a showgirl at heart, so that's what you can expect.
  • You know, I'm kind of a tomboy. I love to fish. I like to fish. I love to stay outdoors. I'm a big sports fan and go to games. I don't care what they are. I love to gamble and go to Vegas. I like my dog.

Interview to Cosmopolitan (2016)

The interview online
  • I've had a lot of ups and downs, and listen, to still be putting yourself out there on stage at my age, you come against a lot of stuff. But if you love what you do, no one should let the opinions of others take away their joy or take away their dreams. And that's really all it comes down to. Loving yourself, believing in yourself, putting one foot in front of the other and doing it.
  • Other people's opinions are simply other people's opinions. I am who I am. I know who Erika Jayne is, and I know who Erika Girardi is. It's OK.
  • All of us have been in situations where we've lost our confidence, even the greatest leaders in the world. We are at the end of the day human — I have no problem telling you, yeah [I have days when] I think, you know, What am I doing? Remember why you're doing what you're doing; talk yourself off the ledge. You know you have to become your own best counselor because really no one is going to take the time and the energy to understand your problems quite like you can.
  • You do have to rise above. If you're true to yourself and you're confident with who you are and you really know where you're coming from, you'll be fine. No matter what anyone says and no matter what anyone tries to do to you.
  • And you've [got to] pick and choose when you wanna be tough. If you're tough all the time or you raise your voice all the time, it's really ineffective. Something that you might say now in the heat of the moment will not serve you later ... You have to know when to put your foot down and really stand on your conviction. If you're gonna really let someone have it, you have to really have your shit together.
  • I think you have to rise above, to remain true to who you are. No matter what is said about you in the media, you have to look at the big picture — and you have to have a plan for where you want your life to go. And you also can't think that everyone is going to be there to help you; it's a lonely road to success.
  • Money does not make you happy. All money does is make you really look at yourself. When you're not worried about the lights being shut off, then you can get down to business looking at 'What kind of persona am I?'Money is not a cure-all. You're still human, you still get depressed, you still get scared, you still get sad ... It's really about your own self-worth. If you're going to be the best doctor, the best dancer, the best teacher, the best singer, it's really about that. That's where the confidence comes from. A lot of people who don't have a lot of money have a lot of confidence, [they] still love themselves because they feel accomplished inside.
  • Money doesn't make you confident, material things don't make you confident. Your work ethic makes you confident; your achievements make you confident. It's about setting goals, and it's about whether or not you reach them. I know a lot of people with money who are not happy, who are insecure, who are basically train wrecks.
  • Confidence isn't always out front and screaming, 'Look at me, look at me.'Confidence can be sitting back for a moment and letting someone else take the lead when you need to. You don't always have to be showboating.
  • Here's the thing, it's the same person. It's just that some things that are appropriate on stage aren't appropriate at a dinner party, you know with a bunch of judges and lawyers. It's still saying how you feel, it's still being yourself, it's just knowing when and where. It's also knowing when to let someone else take the lead. That's exactly why Erika Jayne is so great, because when she's onstage, that's what she's supposed to do. To be over the top, to be peacocking. But it still resonates from the same place inside [me].

Interview to L'Officiel (2018)

The interview online
  • I can do it. I earned it. It's something you have to remind yourself.
  • I think it's something that I had to teach myself because growing up wasn't always a barrel of laughs. I was insecure and I had a lot of self-doubts, which is why I tell myself I can do it and that I earned it. I think you kind of become your own best cheerleader. I mean, obviously, my mom and my grandmother were big cheerleaders of mine, but at the end of the day, you have to be your own cheerleader—every day. Otherwise, it's not going to work out if you don't believe in yourself. I think a lot of it, too, is looking around and saying 'Why not me?' You know, 'Why not me?' I mean, if they can do it I can do it. There's nothing that special about anyone, really.
  • So, if they can do it, I can do it, too.
  • Well, yeah, Erika Jayne is a mask, even though she's a great part of your personality, it's still a performance persona. When I was standing on the red circle, there was nothing there. [It’s] just a human being and telling your story and you know, I didn't know what was going to happen. I didn't know whether people would like it or not like it or you just don't know. It's something completely different.
  • So TED Pasadena reached out to me in the spring of last year and asked if I'd be interested in doing a [TED] Talk. I was totally blown away because I would have never thought that would even come across my universe.  I said yes, and it's the hardest thing I've ever done. I thought that talking about my own life wouldn't be that challenging but it turned out that it was. If anyone gets a chance to do [one] I highly recommend it because it's very challenging. You know, I still haven't watched mine. I still won't watch it.
  • Well, fashion is a way to escape and to express your personality and to have fun. I have always liked the idea of fashion and creating personalities with fashion. Let it be over the top or understated or effortless or chic. Or, you know, Erika Jayne with 100 crystals on her face. That’s always been a theme of my life. I’ve always enjoyed costume. I think it's a great part of life, honestly. It's really self-expression.
  • It's organized chaos. Everything is different. You have a sound check—a very thorough sound check—to make sure that everything is worked out so smoothly and then you're in glam, and then you have a small prayer before you hit the stage and it's it's a lot of fun. That's what it's all about. You want to come together and be thankful for having the privilege of getting to do what you love for work.

TedxPasadena speech (2018)

Erika Jayne's speech at TedxPasadena conference on September 22, 2018. The speech online
  • With Facebook and Instagram, it seems like everyone has an online persona. It’s a way of perfecting how the world looks at you.
  • The danger of living two lives is that they can unintentionally collide. Like when my Erika Jayne voice comes into Erika Girardi’s life.
  • But surprisingly, once I started to reveal a little more of my unguarded self, people didn’t really seem to mind. I found that I could connect to them on a more human level.
  • Everyone wants to meet Superman but nobody wants to meet Clark Kent.
  • It’s great to be outlandish... to acknowledge that side of yourself. But it’s when you harness that true power that the true success is unleashed. I’m glad I came out of hiding to liberate this persona.

Pretty Mess book (2018)

  • I definitely picked up Renee's talent for saying hateful things, and I would use it against her. That's why I'm always so afraid of losing my temper on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. If I ever did, I would really eviscerate someone.
    • pg. 31
  • On their date, my father said to Renee, "Tomorrow I'm going to come by your parents' house, pick you up, and we're going to go hunt for apartments. The three of us will live together and be a little family." It was really romantic at the drive-in, so this was all fabulous. He dropped her off at my grandparents' house. The next day, my mother waited and waited. He never came. He never called. Finally, she called her friend, Janet, who had recently married Nicolas' brother Gabriel. She asked if Janet had seen my father. "Oh honey, he's moved to California. He left this morning," Janet said.
    • pg. 39-40
  • The day that my stepfather left was hard, though. Renee sat in a chair in the living room, wearing a pair of navy shorts and a purple polo shirt. She was sobbing into her hands. Her face was pressed into the side of the chair. I thought - and I will never forget this - I don't ever want to be like that. I love my mother, but in that moment, I saw her as weak. I knew that she could survive without a man, but she wanted a partner so badly that she let him ruin her life.
    • pg. 47
  • When he left, he cleaned out their checking account and left Renee with nothing. The next month, Renee didn't have enough money to pay the mortgage, keep the lights on, pay for her car, and buy Christmas presents.
    • pg. 48
  • I don't think the father figures who let me down are bad people. They were doing the best they could, and sometimes that's just not enough. It's less their fault than it is the circumstances they were in. I can't really blame them for what happened. Now I'm so far away from these issues that it doesn't hurt anymore. In those moments, it was excruciating, but you can't stay in pain too long. You have to let it wash over you and pass, or else it will drown you.
    • pg. 59-60
  • I have to keep walking forward. I have to do the best that I can and hope that everything I've learned from these men helps me do things better than they did.
    • pg. 60
  • I feel like my marriage came apart because of me, not because of anyone else. I can take responsibility. I knew I was a good mom. I thought I was adult enough to be a wife and a mother, but really I wasn't. Tommy bore the brunt of that. It was this constant pressure and it was hard for both of us to take. We broke up when my son was a little more than 18 months old. I came out of a divorced home. I did what I knew, which was to take my son and leave.
    • pg. 98-99
  • One of my first jobs at eighteen was singing with a group called The Flirts when one of their members was on a leave of absence. They had a hit with the song "Jukebox (Don't Put Another Dime)" and there was always a three-girl lineup, but it changed a bit. I filled in to record a couple of tracks with them.
    • pg. 110
  • After a year of working in the restaurant, one night I decided to slip Tom my telephone number. We were standing in front of the giant fireplace. 'Did you hear I was single?' I asked. The next day his secretary called me and said, 'Mr. Girardi would like to know if you're free to have dinner this evening.' 'Absolutely not,' I told her. 'Tell Mr. Girardi if he wants to take me out on a date, he needs to call me himself and ask me and give me enough time to prepare.' You know how men are, especially if they are successful. They expect you to drop everything right away. That's not how I work, I don't care who you are. He did call me back himself, and he asked me out on a date like a gentleman.
    • pg. 146
  • Tom is 33 years older than me. It was always a bigger deal to everyone else than it was to either of us. All a couple really needs is to have the same life philosophy. If you see things the same way, then age, race, religion-none of that comes into play. When you want and enjoy the same things, it’s more important than being born during the same presidential administration.
    • pg. 147
  • You have to be willing to be ridiculed, laughed at, and mocked. You have to have people not believing in you. That makes you your own biggest cheerleader.
    • pg. 220

Song lyrics

  • I'm a princess
    I'm a temptress
    I'm a pretty mess
    I'm a mistress
    • "Pretty Mess"
  • Wop boys rock my world
    I like to play with all my girls
    But money makes me hard and tight
    I love to bathe in cash and pearls
    • "Roller Coaster"
  • You make me wanna give you everything
    I been watchin' you
    Show me 'round your world
    Whatcha' do whatcha' do
    • "Give You Everything"

Other songs

  • How many fucks do I give?
    How many fucks do I give?
    None, Not One, Zero, Zero, Zero, Done
    Zero, Zero, Zero, Done
    Elevator, elevator gettin' me high
    Tryin' to hit my level but ya can't even try
    Diamonds & Chardonnay
    C U Next Tuesday
    • "How Many F**ks"
  • I'm reckless, offensive
    I destroy your defences
    My guestlist is priceless
    And yes, I run a tight ship
    Bentleys and Benzys
    Threw cashcard in Lenzies
    And dollars and senses
    It's expensive to be me
    Looking this good don't come for free
    Oh bitch what? That's just who I be
    It's expensive to be me
    • "Xxpen$ive"
  • So is this the girl, you want me to be
    I surrender myself, I'll never be free
    One step from the edge, is all that I'll be
    Waiting for you
    Like a painkiller
    • "Painkillr"
  • Top back, candy paint
    Damn I got expensive taste
    Flex on 'em everyday
    Champagne, celebrate
    I get freaky, all my girls we have a kiki
    Rock a party like
    Purple boomin' Lamborghini
    • "Cars"
  • Just let life be the spark
    A catapult that shoots us through the dark
    Raise your glass, bring a toast
    To the one thing you treasure the most
    Tonight the only way we go is up up
    Let the music play, let's make it pop pop
    DJ keep the record spinning all night non stop
    • "Party People (Ignite The World)"
  • I wanna grab the microphone and shout it to the world
    Shout it to the world, world
    I'm your freaking girl
    Anytime you need me, you just have to say the word
    Have to say the word, word
    I'm your freaking girl
    • "United"

Quotes about Erika Jayne

  • So, I've known Erika Jayne for about maybe over four years. She was one of the first experiences I ever had of writing songs for other people. And so then when she takes over the planet on Real Housewives, you know, she hits me up to see if I want to work again. And I'm like 'Of course.' And so we wrote the very subtle, the very family-friendly "How Many Fucks".
  • Mikey and Erika took me under their wing and taught me everything. We traveled the world together. They both opened my eyes to so much, about being a hard-working, meticulous assistant, yes, but also just all the things life can offer.
  • From the moment Erika joined the show, I immediately liked her. We both had in common that we had our kids really young, and we just sort of started bonding over being young moms. I just liked her. Now that she's been on the show, it's her second season, we've gotten closer and closer and I'm really enjoying my time with her.
  • From the moment I thought about doing this, I thought Erika would be good, and she was. She was terrific. It meant a lot to her. She grew up watching [soaps]. I loved the fact that she felt strongly enough about her character and her performance that she could say something [to the director]. That just tells you she's a professional. She's been doing her own thing and taking care of her own business for a long time.
  • Erika is one of the most pulled-together, professional, organized, smart, and sober people I know. And she's so clearheaded and in-the-moment and I think she's like the ultimate picture of a lady.
  • Erika is awesome. We’ve been together now 16 years. She’s a dancer and a singer and she’s had eight No.1 hits on the Billboard charts – the last one just a few weeks ago, called 'Crazy'. She’s a hoot. When I won that case against the Dodgers in connection with the fan who was left disabled, I was very happy about it. At 3 a.m., she woke me up. She said, ‘Let me tell you something pal. Anybody can win a trial... Singing a song – that’s much harder!’ And then she turned over and went back to sleep.
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