Open main menu

Wikiquote β

Elf (film)

2003 comedy film starring Will Ferrell

Elf is a 2003 film about a man (Will Ferrell) raised by Santa's elves at the North Pole is sent to the America in search of his true identity.

Directed by Jon Favreau. Written by David Berenbaum.
This holiday, discover your inner elf.



  • [Answering the phone] Buddy the Elf; what's your favorite color?
  • [about Miles] He's an angry elf.
  • [Burps loudly for what seems like thirty seconds] Did you hear that?
  • [Dejectedly] Why don't you just say it? I'm the worst toymaker in the world! I'm a cotton-headed ninny-muggins. [Elves gasp]
  • [In a public restroom, looking over the wall into the neighboring stall] Hey, have you seen these toilets? They're GINORMOUS!
  • [To wild raccoon] Does someone need a hug? [The raccoon angrily attacks him] I just wanted a hug!
  • [After getting hit in the face with a snowball] Ow! Son of a Nutcracker!
  • [About the mail room] This place reminds me of Santa's workshop. Except it smells like mushrooms and everyone looks like they want to hurt me.
  • [Repeated several times throughout movie] First, I went through the seven levels of the Candy Cane Forest... Past the sea of twirly, swirly gumdrops... And then, I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel.
  • Morning, Sarah. That's a very nice purple dress. It's very purpley.
  • [in his good-bye note] "I'm sorry that I ruined your lives and crammed eleven cookies in the VCR. I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere. I'll never forget you. Love, Buddy."
  • Francisco; that's fun to say... Francisco... Fran... cisco... Francisco...
  • I'm in love, I'm in love, and I don't care who knows it!!
  • (Walks into a coffee shop) YOU DID IT! Congratulations! World's best cup of coffee!

Miles FinchEdit

  • DO NOT PUT ME ON HOLD! [silence in Walter's office] I'll be there tomorrow. 71 degrees.
  • Hey, Jackweed, I get more action than you had in your entire life. I've got houses in L.A., Paris & Vali, each one with a 70-inch plasma screen. So I suggest you wipe that stupid smile off your face before I come over there and smack it off! You feeling strong, my friend? Call me 'elf' one more time.
  • Oh, boy. You're hilarious, my friend.
  • (While Strangling Buddy) Call me 'elf' one more time. Call me 'elf'.

Walter HobbsEdit

  • Emily, Can I Speak to You For A Moment in the Kitchen, Please?
  • Buddy, Get Out of Here.
  • Listen, Miles, Listen Miles. [Miles Slams The Door In Angered]
  • [to Buddy] I don't care where you go. I don't care that you're an elf. I don't care that you're nuts! I don't care that you're my son! Get outta my life! NOW!


Buddy: [gasps] Wow! What's this?
Gimbel's Manager: This is the North Pole.
Buddy: No, it's not.
Gimbel's Manager: Yes, it is.
Buddy: No, it's not.
Gimbel's Manager: Yes, it is.
Buddy: No, it isn't.
Gimbel's Manager: Yes, it is.
Buddy: No, it's not. Where's the snow? [smiles]
Gimbel's Manager: Why are you smiling like that?
Buddy: I just like to smile! Smiling's my favorite!
Gimbel's Manager: [pause] Make work your favorite, okay?
Buddy: Okay.
Gimbel's Manager: Work is your new favorite.
Buddy: Fine.
Gimbel's Manager: It's time for an announcement. [to the employees] Okay, people! Tomorrow morning, 10 A.M., Santa's coming to town!
Buddy: SANTA!!!!! OH, MY GOD!!![excitedly, to the manager] Santa here? I know him! I know him!
Gimbel's Manager: He'll be here to take pictures with all of the children. 10 A.M. tomorrow.
Buddy: 10 A.M. tomorrow!
Gimbel's Manager: Santa's coming to town.

Buddy: Uh-oh. Sounds like somebody needs to sing a Christmas carol.
Jovie: No way.
Buddy: The best way to spread Christmas cheer, is singing loud for all to hear.
Jovie: Thanks, but I don't sing.
Buddy: Oh, well, it's just like talking, except longer and louder, and you move your voice up and down.
Jovie: I can sing, I just choose not to sing. Especially in front of other people.
Buddy: If you can sing alone, you sing in front of other people. There's no difference.
Jovie: Actually, there's a BIG difference.
Buddy: No... no... no, there isn't. Wait... [Starts singing loud and off-key] I'm singing!/I'm in a store and I'm singing! [adeptly] I'm in a store and I'm singing!
Gimbel's Manager: HEY! There's no singin' in the North Pole!
Buddy: Yes, there is!
Gimbel's Manager: No, there's not!
Buddy: We sing all the time!
Gimbel's Manager: No, there's not!
Buddy: Especially when we make toys! [to Jovie] See?

Deb: [over intercom] Mr. Hobbes? It's me on the intercom?
Walter Hobbes: Yeah?
Deb: I think someone sent you a Christmas gram. (escorts Buddy in)
Buddy: (excitedly) DAD!!!!

Jovie: How come you were in the women's locker room this morning?
Buddy: I heard you singing.
Jovie: You sure had it nothing to do with the fact that I was naked and in the shower?
Buddy: I didn't know you were naked. Why were you here so early?
Jovie: They shut my water off. What were you doing here?
Buddy: Building this.
Jovie: You built this? They're kinda pissed about this.
Gimbel's Manager: [appears] Hey guys. Have you seen the place? It's pretty good. It's a little "too good". Corporate must have sent in a professional. I don't know why somebody's gunning for my job. But look, let's remain a team, okay? Cause if I go, we all go. If you get wind of anything, call me on my radio. Channel three. Code word is "Santa's got a brand new bag." Okay? [to Jovie] Six inch ribbon curls, honey.
Jovie: [rolls her eyes] But that's impossible.
Gimbel's Manager: [interrupting] SIX... inches. [storms away]
Buddy: By the way, you have the most beautiful singing voice in the whole wide world.

[Buddy sees Santa in the store]
Buddy: Santa.
Gimbel's Santa: Hey! Ho, ho, ho!
[the children cheer excitedly]
Buddy: Santa! It's me, Buddy! It's me!
Gimbel's Santa: Hey, buddy. How you doing?
[an elf places a child on his lap]
Buddy: Santa, it's me! [but his excitement and enthusiasm fades away as he grimaces at him] Who the heck are you?
Gimbel's Santa: What are you talking about? I'm Santa Claus.
Buddy: No, you're not.
Gimbel's Santa: Uh... Why of course I am! Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
Buddy: Well, if you're Santa, what song did I sing for you on your birthday this year?
Gimbel's Santa: Um... Well, Happy Birthday, of course! Ho, ho, ho! So, uh, how old are you son?
Paul: Four.
Gimbel's Santa: You're a big boy. What's your name?
Paul: Paul.
Gimbel's Santa: And, uh, what can I get you for Christmas?
Buddy: [quietly] Paul, don't tell him what you want. He's a liar.
Gimbel's Santa: Hey! Let the kid talk.
Buddy: You disgust me! How can you live with yourself?
Gimbel's Santa: Just cool it, zippy!
Buddy: You sit on a throne of lies.
Gimbel's Santa: Look, I'm not kiddin'.
Buddy: You're a fake.
Gimbel's Santa: I'm a fake?
Buddy: Yes!
Gimbel's Santa: How'd you like to be dead?! Huh?
Paul: Fake?
Gimbel's Santa: Ha, ha! He's kidding.
Buddy: [sniffs] You stink.
Gimbel's Santa: [as the elf takes Paul off his lap after a picture] I think you're gonna have a good Christmas, all right.
Buddy: You smell like beef and cheese, you don`t smell like Santa.
Gimbel's Santa: OK.
[Buddy accidentally rips off the beard of Gimbel's Santa, and gasps. The kids scream in horror]

[escalates into a fight]

Buddy: He's a fake! He's a fake! I saw!
Gimbel's Santa: Come here! Come here!
Buddy: He's a fake!
Gimbel's Santa: Where are you goin' now? Where are you goin' now?
[he smashes Buddy's designs; the manager starts tackling the fake Santa to protect Buddy]
Buddy: He's not Santa Claus! He's not Santa!

Emily: You sure like sugar, huh?
Buddy: Is there sugar in syrup?
Emily: Yes.
Buddy: Then YES! We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup.
Emily: So, Would You Be Staying With Us Then?

Buddy: [out of breath from stalking Michael] Wow, you're fast. I'm glad I caught up to you. I waited five hours for you. Why is your coat so big? So, good news - I saw a dog today. Have you seen a dog? You probably have. How was school? Was it fun? Did you get a lot of homework? Huh? Do you have any friends? Do you have a best friend? Does he have a big coat, too?
Michael: Go away!

Buddy: [drunk] I know I sound like a broken record but we are buddies, you're my best friend, that's it.
Mailroom Guy: You know, I have really great ideas, but no one around here listens to me.
Buddy: I listen to your ideas, you have great ideas.
Mailroom Guy: I got to go with the flow.
Buddy: Then go with the flow.
Mailroom Guy: No! I got to get out of the flow, that's what got me here.
Buddy: Then get out of the flow.
Mailroom Guy: I mean I'm 26 years old, I've got nothing to show for it.
Buddy: You're young, you're so young...You know my papa, he didn't make master tinker till he was 490.
Mailroom Guy: [chuckles] 490...
Buddy: Tickle fight! [tickles the mailroom guy, who laughs hysterically]

[Buddy and Jovie are ice skating at Rockfeller Center. Buddy kisses Jovie on the cheek.]
Buddy: Sorry.
Jovie: You missed.
Buddy: What do you mean I missed?
Jovie: You missed. [kisses Buddy]

Miles Finch: It's just one of those ideas, I'm just psyched out of my mind about...ya' know, it's just one of those ideas where you're like, YES!
Eugene: [brainstorming for a new book] What about this: a tribe of asparagus children, but they're self-conscious about the way their pee smells. [hand movements]

Gimbel's Worker: Passion Fruit spray?
Buddy: Fruit spray? Sure. [takes bottle and sprays it in his mouth, then reacts in surprise and disgust]

[Walter and his staff meet with Miles Finch to discuss the new book they are working on, when Buddy suddenly enters]
Buddy: Dad, I'm in love, I'm in love & I don't care who knows it!
Walter: Buddy, not now. Uh, can you please go back to the... to the pit? I'll come and visit you in a little while, okay?
[Buddy points towards Miles Finch]
Buddy: I didn't know you had elves working here!
Miles: Oh, well, you're, you're hilarious, My Friend.
Walter: He doesn't, uh... Get back to the story, please.
Miles: All right, okay. [Clears throat] So, on the cover, about the title...
Buddy: Does Santa know that you left the workshop?
Miles: You know, we're all laughing our heads off...
Buddy: Did you have to borrow a reindeer to get down here?
Walter: Buddy, go back to the basement.
Miles: Hey, Jackweed. I get more action in a week than you've had in your entire life. I've got houses in L.A., Paris & Vail, each one with a 70-Inch plasma screen. So I suggest you wipe that stupid smile off your face before I come over and smack it off! You feeling strong, my friend? Call me elf one more time!
Buddy: [Whispering] He's an angry elf.
[Miles runs across the table to charge at Buddy.]
Buddy: Look at you.
[Miles angrily kicks Buddy]
Buddy: Ow, Hey, Wha-- [screaming] I wasn't ready for tha-- [Miles angrily twists his arm] Whoa!
Miles: Call me elf one more time! Call me elf!
Buddy: [Wincing] You're an elf.
[Miles gets angry and throws Buddy off the table which causes him to break A picture]
Walter: Miles, I'm sorry. He thinks he's an elf.
[Miles angrily storms off]
Walter: Listen, Miles. Listen, Miles. [Miles walks out and angrily slams the door]
Buddy: He must be a South Pole elf.
[Walter suddenly becomes enraged and points a finger in Buddy's direction]
Walter: You get the hell out of here.
Buddy: Where do you want me to go?
Walter: I don't care where you go. I don't care that you're an elf! I don't care that you're nuts! I DON'T CARE THAT YOU'RE MY SON! GET OUT OF MY LIFE, NOW!!!
[A deeply saddened Buddy leaves the conference room. Walter, still enraged over the setback that Buddy had caused, watches him go, then heads to his office. The scene then cuts to Walter who is on the phone with Emily]
Emily: Hi. It's me.
Walter: I really can't talk right now.
Emily: Well, just tell me how the pitch went.
Walter: I'm gonna be a little later than I thought, OK?
Emily: Well, don't be too late, Walter. It's Christmas Eve.
[Walter is still on the phone when Eugene and Morris enter his office]
Walter: Honey, I gotta go, OK. Love you.
Emily: Oh, say hi to Buddy.
[Walter hangs up phone]
Walter: What?
Eugene: Walter, breakthrough. We found this in the conference room.
Walter: What is it?
Eugene: It's Miles Finch's notebook. This thing is chock full with genius ideas!
Morris: His best idea is about a peach that lives on a farm. What's more vulnerable than a peach?
Walter: What do we do?
Eugene: I think we should go with the first pitch. It's a genius.
Walter: Uh, how much time we've got?
Eugene: We've got like 45 minutes.
Walter: Come on. Let's try to get a storyboard ready or something.

Walter: [whispering] I think we should call security.
Deb: [whispering] Good idea.
Buddy: [whispering] I like to whisper too!

Walter: Are you crazy? He can't stay here.
Emily: We can't just throw him out in the snow.
Walter: Why not? He loves the snow. He's told me 15 times.
Emily: Walter, he's your son.


External linksEdit

Wikipedia has an article about: