Ed, Edd n Eddy (season 3)

Wish You Were Ed

spongebob: you're seriously didn't think much? Why not? Huh? Give me a money please

angelica: Fine... Here's your stupid money

spongebob: thank you (as spongebob holding money, angelica then slaps spongebob; audience are laughing) overtime.

angelica: may i please i smack you silly mr spongey?

spongebob: that's an overtime. (Angelica then slaps spongebob; audience are laughing) Triple time. (Continues slapping spongebob; audience are laughing) Gold and triple overtime. (Keeps slapping spongebob; audience are laughing) Double gold and triple overtime... (Fades to the spongebob squarepants logo being replaced with angelica pickles logo, then the tv turns off)

Momma's Little Ed

Eddy: See? This is Mommy's note, and my exact copy. Pretty good, huh? He'll never tell the difference.

Ed: That is so lame, Eddy.

Eddy: And you're like a human photocopier, right, Mr. Perfecto?

Ed: Dare to compare. [Shows Eddy an identical sticky note to the one written by Edd's parents.]

Eddy: Will you ever cease to amaze me, Ed?

Ed: Yes, I will.

[As one of Ed and Eddy's sticky note pranks, Edd has to get a cup of sugar from the Kanker sisters]

Edd: Hello? Oh, I-I was going to-

Marie: Ask me for a date?

May: Sweep me off my feet?

Lee: Stand in line, girls.

Edd: Oh yes... C-could I trouble you for a cup of sugar?

Marie: He wants to share condiments.

May: We're so alike.

Marie: [punching May] Back off, bowser.

Lee: Marie, grab him before he runs away.

Eddy: This is better than cable.

Edd: [as the Kankers hug him] Ladies, please!

May: We're ladies.

Lee: He said please.

Marie: Let's kiss him.

Edd: Kiss? No, not that!

Eddy: And I thought today was gonna be a write-off. Get it? Write off? [the cup flies overhead] I can't stand it! [laughs]

[Edd crawls by, hiding inside his hat]

Ed: Oh no! They tore off Double D's head!

Edd: IT'S THE STICKY NOTES OF THE APOCALYPSE!!! I can't go om. There's only one solution; I'll just move in with one of you.

Ed: Move in with me! Move in with me!

Eddy: Yeah, Lumpy could use some company.

Ed: We can be like brothers and share the same bathroom.

Once Upon An Ed

Jonny: Hey, how'd you guys get inside my wall? [to Plank] What's that? Plank says take a hike or we'll call the cops.

Eddy: Hey, Plank. Ever took a tour of a toothpick factory?

Edd: Eddy, manners.

Edd: Pure fiction, Eddy. Your exaggerated tale could only be described as cockamamie.

Ed: Tsk, tsk, tsk. I have never heard such language.

Jonny: Boy, this story stinks. Plank and I want a real story, with stuff like octopus' gardens, silver hammers, and Mr. Kite.

Eddy: Open a window, Jonny, and get some air.

[In Ed's story, the giant mutant Kankers fuse their heads into one]

Eddy: Ed, your story's getting weird.

Eddy: I don't have a good feeling about this.

Ed: I don't have any feeling at all.

For Your Ed Only

skinner: if you didn't know, that god, for the glory of jerks, i will take them...

gary chalmers: (slams the door) SKINNER?!

skinner: s-superitendent chalmers?

gary chalmers: have a money to enjoy the day?

skinner: yes

chief wiggum: principal skinner we found the body of spongebob and he was killed off by someone, maybe is sideshow Bob

skinner: sideshow Doritos?

chief wiggum: IS SIDESHOW BOB YOU IDIOT!

skinner: oh my god! But he didn't have a gun, but he is known for killing bart simpson

(Cut to the dream scene)

dream skinner: BLAST! I took my mother's makeup

dream chalmers: Seymour?

dream skinner: superintendent chalmers?

dream chalmers: oh my god

(Gunshot heard and cut to the office)

chief wiggum: wow, i didn't much know that

skinner: i will see the security camera. what? That is not sideshow bob! That is angelica pickles! Why she did this to spongebob?

chief wiggum: (gasps) don't worry principal skinner, i will take her to your office (chief then takes angelica pickles to principal's office; angelica became Sad)

skinner: why the he** did you killed spongebob? That was the worst thing you ever done! You jerk, cold-hearted! And you are seriously messed up! You claimed that you like spongebob, then why did you killed him? Huh? You are suspended for 3 days!

(Angelica pickles starts to sob; and cries)

It Came From Outer Ed

[Edd drops Mr. Yum-Yum on the 'Q']

Ed: Nice job, Double D. It looks just like a 'Q'.

Edd: Excuse me? Ed, I think somewhere on the line you've lost your train of thought. Your plan is irrational, muddled, and inconsequential. [Ed munches on a dog biscuit] Is that a doggie treat?

Ed: [mouthful] What's the rock for, Double D?

Edd: [drops the rock on his foot] MY FOOT!!

Jonny: Let's tickle them till they wet their pants.

Eddy: Well, let's not jump to anything rash.

Ed: Fools! Evil Tim has beckoned you all! For you will all pay with your brains!

Eddy: Brains? What're we gonna do with brains?

3 Squares And An Ed

Eddy: What happened to the stairs??

Ed: My parents took them down because I am grounded!!

Edd: That's disturbing!

Dueling Eds

Eddy: What could be more important than Master Eddy?

Ed: COOKIE DOUGH!

Edd: They say in order to gain knowledge, one must seek it.

Eddy: [sarcastically] Oh, boo hoo. I hurt Rolf's stupid fish ball.

Edd: It's not the fish ball, Eddy! You hurt Rolf's feelings!

Dim Lit Ed

[Jonny's head is stuck between two branches]

Edd: Jonny, not again.

Jonny: Yep, this happens to me a lot, Double D.

Edd: Didn't you learn from your past mistakes? I mean, it's just common sense.

Jonny: [long pause] I guess not. [giggles]

Kevin: Is this thing supposed to be dead?

Eddy: The iguana ain't dead, windbag. It's just, uh... [nudges Edd]

Edd: Sleeping like a baby, Kevin. That'll be 25 cents.

Jonny: [lays down a quarter] Sold!

Edd: I'm surrounded by idiots.

Eddy: Who's complaining?

Will Work for Ed

spongebob: dexter, give me a KO.

dexter: what? BRO?

spongebob: let's go to dumping sands

dexter: and again?

dee dee: like and god, if there's a chief here, bang and shooting guys

spongebob: you killing god

dee dee: spongebob are you nuts?

spongebob: uh no.

Ed, Ed and Away

[Eddy is fighting Sarah and Jimmy over the balloon]

Eddy: Gimme that balloon, Sarah.

Sarah: Gimme, Gimme never gets.

Kevin: I'll get you, dork! After I find some ointment, ouch.

Eddy: What's with that? I did everything my dad does. How come he sells stuff? Maybe it's the tie.

Edd: Well it certainly couldn't be the fact we manufactured the biker from HAND-ME-DOWN KITCHENWARE! Ten hours of hard work and for what?

Ed: To fleece the masses.

Eddy: Check's in the mail, Ed.

X Marks the Ed

Eddy: [high pitched voice] What happened to my head?

Ed: It is so puny!

Edd: This is worthy of a noble prize!

Eddy: What'd ya do to me, you quack?

Rolf: Quack? I am Rolf.

Eddy: You're a quack. Quack, quack quack!

Rolf: I am not a duck. I am Rolf.

Edd: How did you know what ingredients would react in such a way as to come to this conclusion?

Rolf: What?

Ed: My turn for shrinkage, Rolf.

Eddy: Fix me.

Edd: Tell me.

Ed: Shrink me!

Rolf: Stay back!

Eddy: Get him. [chasing Rolf] Wait till I get my hands on you. Fix my head, ya quack.

Ed: He's Rolf.

From Here to Ed

Edd: Where did you exhume this from, Ed?

Ed: Brick-a-brack from right under my bed, Double D.

Edd: Ed, Eddy's overzealous attempts to reform this erroneous altercation is destined to fail.

Ed: Napkin please.

Edd: I should've known better.

Ed or Tails

Eddy: [To Jimmy] Are you unconshi, unconshy? (shows the word to Edd) Ahem.

Edd: Unconcious, Eddy.

Eddy: Dead from the neck up?

Ed: Could you pull my finger, Rolf?

Rolf: No. [Ed cries]

Boys Will Be Eds

Kevin: Man, Nazz looks awesome today.

Jonny: I wanna write Nazz a poem, and I hate writing.

Ed: Double D? My tummy feels all wiggly and crawly inside.

Edd: That's nice, Ed.

Eddy: I feel like the Nazz on the back of my Nazz is standing on Nazz.

Edd: That's nice, Ed.

Edd: There's something bewitching about Nazz today. An unusual enchantment. [unwittingly steps on Ed's face as he walks off] A happening of sorts.

Eddy: She's happening, all right. [follows Edd, also stepping on Ed's face]

Ed: I feel like a doormat. Can it be love?

Edd: Nazz is as graceful as a gazelle leaping through a field of buttercups...

Eddy: Yeah... a ga-whatchamacallit...

Kevin: [in thought] She's so radical.

Eddy: [in thought] She can't keep her eyes off me.

Edd: [in thought] Her hair is so clean and not fly-away at all.

Ed: [in thought] Hello? Echo! MY NAME IS ED!

Eddy: Nazz would love a new bike.

Ed: Or a new toilet?

Kevin: Not the bike, dork.

Gimme Gimme Never Ed

Edd: That's it, Jimmy. Distribute your weight. Balance.

Jimmy: That tickles.

Edd: Yes and now try standing.

Jimmy: Don't let me fall!

[Jimmy eventually manages to stand up on the wooden board inside Edd's pool.]

Jimmy: Hot diggety dog! I'm surfing!

Eddy: Not quite there, mini-kahuna, but if you're brave enough, we at Ed's Surf School will teach you how to flip the lip, hang ten, or shave the barrel, for an additional fee, of course. [He opens a soda.]] Can you handle it?

Jimmy: I'm stoked! Teach me! Teach me! [He starts to lose balance.] AH! Don't let go! Don't let go!

Edd: I wouldn't think of it, Jimmy.

Jonny: Too bad! Plank was just aching to try a new ride! [He laughs] One time Plank went on a roller coaster 119 times in a row. Whew! I chucked biscuits after that, didn't I, buddy? Why, Plank spent his whole allowance that day; a regular Rockefeller.

Eddy: Plank gets an allowance? Have I got a ride for you.

[He grabs Plank and throws him in he air.]

Jonny: Plank?

Eddy: Nice ride, huh, Plank? That'll be 25 cents.

Jonny: Plank says you throw like a toothpick, Eddy. He won't pay for kiddie rides.

Eddy: Well, you tell that doorstop Eddy's got a ride that will round his corners. And it's cheap, cheap, cheap.

Jonny: Plank says your mouth runs faster than six-month-old cheese, Eddy.

Eddy: I'll take that as a yes.

Edd: I object. My skin is still prune from that surf school fiasco.

Eddy: Ed, who are we to deny Plank the thrill of a lifetime? Let's get to work. [He hands Plank to Ed.] Who says money can't buy happiness?

Ed: [to Plank] Hello, my name is Ed.

My Fair Ed

hector: son of a b****! We will show these stupid americans, who have made this joke! (Cut to the goons laughing maniacally) Well, i have to ask skarr... Skarr, what's up?

general skarr: we have detected perch perkins from the news making an offensive joke.

perch perkins: that's all, we have to destroy the europe because why not.

major dr ghastly: and... We have to launch the neutron bomb

hector: okay, ghastly, please launch the neutron bomb (cut to major dr ghastly launching the neutron bomb, then, cut to the space)

alien bunnies: what the he** was that?

orbulon: calling the dog and cat, could you have a chance to the colors of the rain?

dribble: good son, we have to rescue it (he and spitz laughs maniacally, and cut to the neutron bomb reaching bikini bottom)

brianna: i think that it would kill us

kevin: but mermaid man, you cannot reach or without tills, if two even worse. (cut to the neutron bomb reaching Kevin) Oh i've wasted my time (the neutron bomb then kills everyone)

spongebob: thanks a lot buddy

spongebob: (cut to the chruch where spongebob is seen singing before it gets interrupted) what, what happened to the tune? (Cut to the shot of mutants, then spongebob screams in pain) Who made this funny idea? Where i am?

tommy: silence! We're talking about

squidward: not everyone died here, then i agree (he laughs)

spongebob: uh... You are mutants?

susie: uh we don't like the word "mutants" we prefer "Freaks" or "Monsters"

angelica: i agree with susie and the god satan that laid and the past will be eliminated!

mandark: and now, you must DIE!

Rock-A-Bye Ed

Ed: I was in my happy place lost in the void of my mind.

Edd: Ed, wouldn't it be fun if we had some company?

Ed: You bet. Do you think they will like peanut butter?

O-Ed 11

Edd: Not that is out of place in this den of dishevelment, but why is there a vehicle sitting in your brother's bedroom?

Eddy: He keeps his snake in the trunk. [opens it] Huh. The little weasel must have escaped again.

Edd: Escaped? Oh dear, oh dear, oh- [runs into a stuffed camel]

Eddy: Hey, watch the camel! I said, no touching.

Ed: [walking by in the background whilst tied to the chair] Wow, I wish I had a room like this.

[The Eds are hiding under the Kankers' trailer]

Edd: This is becoming extremely dangerous, Eddy.

Eddy: Let's get the stash and get out of here.

Ed: Is that you tickling me, Eddy?

Eddy: There you are. Oh, man, I can see it now. Mansions, yachts, friends.

[opens the suitcase]

Edd: Wishbones?

[May slams the case shut and takes it]

Eddy: I'm so confused.

Edd: I think your brother's a whiz at pulling your leg, Eddy.

Lee: Looks like we've adopted some groundhogs, eh, girls?

Marie: Cute chubby-cheeked ones, too.

May: [holding the case] Hey, I forgot where I hid these.

The Luck of the Ed

Ed: I was walking on the sidewalk until I saw a bug. Hello bug. I walked up to this tree and hit my head on this branch. Sorry, it was this one. And I gazed at the stars.

Edd: Ed, please don't do that.

Eddy: C'mon, we're wasting time. Where'd you hide the magazines, Ed?

Ed: Rubber chicken, Eddy. [he pulls one out of his jacket, tosses it away, and runs down the street] Hide the box, hide the box I said. [he slips on the chicken] But then I tripped! Hanging on to my pal's box of magazines, for dear life, I fell. [he falls and slides down the street] And slid into a sewer.

Eddy: A SEWER?! [sticks his head into the sewer] My magazines are in the SEWER?!

Edd: Seems appropriate. You realize if your magazines are in that sewer, Eddy, they'd be totally illegible, the text smeared by the damp sludge.

Eddy: It's the pictures I'm worried about.

[Edd has pressed Ed's face between two glass plates]

Eddy: What's with Ed's face?

Edd: Will you just let me do this, Eddy?

[Edd is looking at germs through Ed's face with a microscope]

Edd: Ed, there's a new invention called soap; have you heard of it?

Edd: A moment please, read a magazine or something.

Eddy: Read a magazine? I would if I knew where Ed hid 'em.

Edd: Oh. You read those?

Ed… Pass It On…

spongebob: Okay okay, i need some help here

angelica: yes

spongebob: you're an idiot

angelica: WHAT?! ARE YOU CRAZY?!

spongebob: i will beat you up jerkass!

angelica: YOU B****! JERK!!! YOU NEED GET OVER HERE! IS BECAUSE ALL OF YOUR STUPID FRIENDS! (she then slaps spongebob) AND WHY DID I JUST TELL YOU?! WHO'S THE PITCHER WHO'S THE CATCHER?!

Brother, Can You Spare an Ed?

Ed: Sarah has trusted me with the money, so fudge I must buy it with.

Edd: But how can something so bad taste so good?

The Day the Ed Stood Still

Rolf: Please ask Rolf's family and livestock to remember the son of a shepherd.

Edd: What have I done?! I've actually created a monster!

[As Edd tries to convince Eddy to help him free the kids, the Ed monster appears]

Eddy: What? [he takes out a jar to collect fees for freeing the kids and saliva drips into the jar] No skin off my bones. Who's first?

[Eddy notices that his jar is filled with drool and looks up to see the Ed monster looming over him. But before he can be eaten, Edd pulls him out of the way]

Eddy: HE WANTS THE SKIN OFF MY BONES, DOUBLE D!!

If It Smells Like an Ed

Don't Rain on My Ed

Once Bitten, Twice Ed

Baron O'Beefdip: Now eat your mattress.

Ed: Yum.

Edd: [comes to Ed's room with Ed's rocket stuck in his ear.] Excuse me, Ed, but is this your- GOOD LORD MAN!

Ed: [As he finishes swallowing his mattress] That hit the spot.

External links

Wikipedia

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Ed, Edd n Eddy (season 3)