Ed, Edd n Eddy's Big Picture Show

2009 film directed by Danny Antonucci

Ed, Edd n Eddy's Big Picture Show is an animated road comedy television film based on the animated series Ed, Edd n Eddy. The film served as the series finale of the show.

[first line] Trouble! Bad! Pain!

[to his sponges] Be free, dear friends!

"Oh where, oh where has my rotting brain gone!"

[pretending to have a fork through his head] "If looks could kill, I'd be dead."

"I am Ed! Cheese and maraconi!"

"Oh boy, Eddy, did you see him go flying? He flew like a canoe!"

[wearing a pair of gag glasses] "Looks gaggy to me, Eddy."

[pretending to sink in quicksand] "To all the girls I've loved before..."
[voiceover] "Beloved parents. By the time you read this, I will be long–far... oh, dear." [He picks up the note, folds it, and puts it on a pile of other failed attempts at writing the letter] "Dearest Mother and Father. It is with great sh-shame..." [Edd puts down his pen and begins to cry. He looks over at the notepad with a mournful expression. Calming down a little, he picks up the pen again and continues writing] "... that I regretfully confess to..." [He sniffles as he prepares himself for the awful deed he's about to confess] "I regretfully confess to my involvement in the inexcusable, unconscionable, reprehensible, abhorrent, detrimental, detestable, incomprehensible, immoral..." [He is now speaking aloud the words he is writing] "thoughtless, hurtful...!" [His writing goes jagged] "OH, WHAT HAVE WE DONE?!" [He bursts into tears and curls up into a little ball on his chair, sobbing]

"Um, excuse me. I'll be right back."

"We're fugitives, Eddy! Are you aware of the consequences we're about to endure? All because of our misguided chicanery!"

"Seatbelts certainly are a trusted friend."

"We'll never make headway if you keep rummagi-" [Ed smacks him in the face with a rubber chicken]

[thinking his friends have drowned in quicksand] "No! No! NOOOOOO! [frantically searches through the mud] Where are you?! Eddy? Ed?? Don't you give up on me!! ANSWER ME!! [His eyes fill with tears] Please...?"

[waking up to find Ed's rear resting on his head] "Is that Ed's...? Good lord! Horrid! Icky! Foul!... Oh, who am I kidding? I just slept in my clothes!"


"What's with my brother and these stupid bricks??"

"Way to go, lummox! The only rock for miles and you had to hit it!"!

[probing the gag factory] "Bro! It's me, Eddy! You know... [He smiles nervously] ... pipsqueak?"

"Can we go now? My bro'll make us eat a barnacle if we show up while he's watching Matlock."

"I'm really starting to hate slapstick."


Eddy: This is all your fault, Sockhead!
Edd: My fault? Funny, isn't it, how it's always my fault when another of your amazing scams goes awry!
Eddy: Yeah, well, I didn't see you stop me! You shoulda known it would go bad!
Ed: Boy, did it go bad.

Ed: Can your brother send me brain waves, too?
Eddy: If you only had a brain!
Ed: Aw, come on, Eddy, have a heart!
Edd: Courage... Courage, Eddward...

[Edd is hanging from his hat on top of a waterfall]
Eddy: Hey, Sockhead! Can you see my bro's place from up there?
Edd: [angrily] NO! NOW GET ME DOWN!

[Edd loses his hat]
Eddy: My eyes! They're burning!
Edd: You stop that!
Ed: Does it hurt, Double D?
Edd: Oh, shush!

[May picks herself up off the ground. Jimmy peeks out and sees Lee pin an undershirt to the wire]
May: If you guys weren't such fashion hogs, there wouldn't be all this laundry to do! [She pulls Jimmy out from the pile]
Jimmy: Oh, please! Don't hurt me!
May: Looks like someone left something in their pocket!
Lee: What is it?
Marie: Looks like it's whats-his-face!
May: Let's call him Dutch.
Lee: [leering] A little far from home, aren't ya, Dutch?
May: Uh-oh, looks like Dutch needs a diaper!
Jimmy: [worried] I'm fine, really, I am!
May: Aw, he's squirming!
[May pins him up and proceeds to nurse him with a bottle of ketchup. Lee steals Jimmy away]
Lee: Dutch ain't a baby. [She throws Jimmy down] He's a big grown man. [sinister] I bet he wants a date. [paused, after a few moments] WHERE'S MY FLOWERS DUTCH?!?!? [She giggles as Jimmy lies on the ground, twitching]
Marie: [picking him up] Aw, my man doesn't need to give me any flowers. [She drops him by the washing machine] He just needs to do my laundry. Knock yourself out, Dutch.
May: [grabbing Jimmy] Babies don't do laundry!
Lee: He's mine! [She grabs Jimmy's arm] Gimme my man.
Marie: [taking Jimmy's other leg] Laundry boy's all mine, ladies.
Lee: Back off Marie.
May: Baby's mine!
[The three tug at Jimmy, stretching his body]
Jimmy: I'm getting stretch marks! [Jimmy's pants split, revealing his teddy bear underwear] Stop! I just wanted to see Ed, Edd n Eddy get clobbered!
[The Kankers abruptly let go]
Lee: [menacing] What did you say about our boyfriends?
Sarah: None of your beeswax!
[The Kankers turn to the fiery-headed newcomer. Sarah sets her basket down and seethes with rage. Tears of gratitude fill Jimmy's eyes]
Jimmy: My hero.
[The Kankers jump his hero]
Jimmy: Leave her alone!
Sarah: Ah ah AAAAHH!!!
Jimmy: What'd she ever do to you? [Marie pins Sarah to the ground]
Sarah: Get off me, lemme go!
[Marie giggles. May grabs Sarah's head and holds it in place]
Lee: So none of our beeswax, huh? What a shame.
[Lee opens her mouth and sticks her finger in. When it comes out, it is covered with spit. May giggles in anticipation, and her sisters join in. May then turns Sarah's head on its side, and Lee holds her finger above Sarah. Spittle drips onto Sarah's cheek until Lee jams her finger into Sarah's ear, swishing it around in a Wet Willy]
Sarah: Ew that's so gross!
Jimmy: A Wet Willy! Oh, the horror!
Marie: [as Lee works her finger] "So tell us, twerp...
May: ...what do you and Dutch know about our boyfriends!
Jimmy: Stop! Enough! [The torture stops as Jimmy comes running up] The Eds did something really bad! Something big happened because everyone's angry, chasing after them to give them their just desserts! [crying] Ahhaha, I'm such a snitch!
May: Did you hear what Dutch said?
Marie: [angry] Ain't nobody beating up on my man but me!
Lee: Grab the two squirts, girls. We're gonna need em.
[Sarah and Jimmy look at each other, worry in their eyes]

[After realizing that Ed and Eddy faked their deaths in "quicksand" to mock him, Edd starts to storm off]
Eddy: Hey! Where ya goin'? You're headin' back into the swamp!" [reaching for Edd's shoulder] My bro don't live–-
Edd: [angrily slapping his hand away] DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME! A "SAP"?! Well, excuse my sincerity for thinking I had lost the only two people I have left in this world!
Eddy: [not realizing he's being serious] And?
Edd: It's surprising, because your stubborn, insane desire to shock, sandbag and swindle is what put us here in the first place!
Ed: I helped too!
Edd: [gives Ed a furious look, then turns back to Eddy] You and your nefarious scams!
Eddy: [now getting angry] Like you were picking daisies! You built the stupid thing!
Edd: If you had paid attention to what I said and NOT pushed the red button...!
[They start brawling]
Ed: Stop! I demand you tickle each other right now!
Edd and Eddy: STAY OUT OF IT, ED!!!
Ed: [to himself, nervously] The evil dark side has consumed them both! Trouble! Bad! Pain!
Edd: I've had ENOUGH! [kicks Eddy off] I'm returning home!
Ed: But we can't go home, Double D!
Edd: I'd rather face my consequences, Ed, than wander aimlessly with a so-called friend!
[As he storms off, Eddy looks shocked and his eyes fill with tears]
Ed: Say it ain't so! We are three no more, Eddy! Like hop, skip, and no jump! Like up, up, but no away! Like blah, blah without the other blah!
Eddy: [snapping] FINE!!! GO HOME!!! I DON'T BLAME YA! BECAUSE EVERYTHING WAS MY FAULT! [he bursts into tears, and Edd abruptly stops] YEAH, YOU HEARD ME! A FOUL-UP WANNABE LOSER! [He beats his head and continues sobbing]
Edd: [turns back, totally surprised by Eddy's words, and walks back towards him] Eddy?
Eddy: What? [still sobs]
[As Edd watches his friend cry, he looks down with remorse, then gets an idea]
Edd: [starting to smile] Your shirt, Eddy.
Eddy: [confused] My shirt?
Edd: [pointing at the tears soaked into it] Are those salt deposits from your lamentation? [Eddy looks down, and Edd thwacks his nose] Gotcha!
[After a moment of realization, Eddy smiles back at him]
Ed: [hugs them both happily] WE ARE FRIENDS ONCE MORE, GUYS! To Eddy's big bro's house! [carries them on his shoulders]
Edd: Not that way, Ed. [turns Ed in the right direction] This way.
Eddy: You heard my pal, Ed!
Edd: What would you do without me, Eddy?
Eddy: Don't milk it, Sockhead.

Marie: No one beats up our little love muffins.
Edd: Yes. I mean no. What? Yes?

Eddy's Brother: Park don't open 'til noon.
Eddy: I told you he's a whiz at tellin' time!
Eddy's Brother: Pipsqueak?
Eddy: Bro!
Eddy's Brother: Mom and Dad know you're here?
Eddy: As if!
Eddy's Brother: Anyone know you're here?
Eddy: Only these chumps who chased us here!
Eddy's Brother: Just a sec. Aren't those ankle biters from the cul-de-sac?
Eddy: Yeah, and they want to beat me up, all for nothin'.
Kevin: He's lookin at you, Rolf. Later.
Eddy's Brother:: "All for nothin'", huh? Still the trouble makin' Eddy, I see.
Eddy: [awkward laugh] Stop it, bro.
Ed: I smell my fingers after I eat cheese.
[Eddy and his brother give Ed a confused look]
Eddy: Um, I told the guys you'd put us up. Ed and Double D.
Edd: I have big experie- Uh, whale- uh... [faints]
[Eddy and his brother laugh]

Eddy's Brother: Just for old times' sake, let's play uncle.
Eddy: Uncle?
Eddy's Brother: Wanna crash at my place, don't ya?
Eddy: That's why we came all the way– [his brother Matthew twists his leg] Uncle! Uncle! Uncle!
Eddy's Brother: Say what?
Eddy: Uncle, uncle, uncle!
[Eddy's brother Bro lets go of Eddy's leg. Eddy's leg untwists like a propeller and as he hops around helplessly like a joke shop toy]
Edd: Oh, my!
Eddy's Brother: [Laughing cruelly] That was good, pipsqueak.
Eddy: Can we go inside now?
Eddy's Brother: Why not? Don't forget to wipe your feet. [repeatedly throws Eddy into his trailer door like a basketball]

Eddy: [badly bruised] Come on, bro. Give it up!
Eddy's Brother: "Give it up"? I thought you wanted to hang with your "hero".
Eddy: I do, bro! I do!
Edd: Mister Eddy's Brother! As the older sibling, don't you think you should rather be setting an example for Eddy, and not, um... [Edd's voice trails off as Eddy's brother Bro sneers at him] belittle him... in front of his... friends?
Eddy's Brother: Belittle? He's always been little! I like you, girlfriend. [hammers Edd into the ground using Eddy as a mallet] You got spunk.

Eddy: I made it all up, Double D. Everything about my brother was a lie. I just made things up, so everyone would like me, think I was cool. But boy, was I wrong! The scam, my brother... when am I gonna learn, Double D?
[Edd gently takes Eddy's hands and smiles warmly at him]
Edd: I think you just have, Eddy.

Jonny: The time of reckoning is now, rapscallions! IT'S MELON TIME!
Eddy: WHERE'D HE COME FROM? Jonny! No! Wait!
Jonny: No thanks are necessary, citizens.
Sarah: You idiot! Leave our friends alone!
Kevin: Back off, melon dweeb!
Rolf: Leave some produce for Rolf!
Kevin: Sorry about that. Say, let's go to my place. Jawbreakers are on me!
Eddy: We did it, Double D! Everyone loves us! We're finally in, baby!
Edd: And it only took 130 episodes, 4 specials and a movie, Eddy!
Ed: Let's sing a song! [the Eds and the kids (except Jonny, who is pounded by the kids) then sing "Friends are There to Help You", with the "second verse" which is the "same as the first"]
Jimmy: [singing] When you stub your toe and it hurts you know…
The Kids (except for Jonny and including the Eds): [singing] ...Friends are there to help you.
When you trip on your face and your teeth are misplaced, friends are there to help you.
When you're flying low and you're giving a show, friends are there to help you.
When you take off your shoe and your feet stink PEE-YEW, friends are there to help you.
[As the kids sing the song, Wilfred eats out of Captain Melonhead's downed helmet. The Kankers are focused on something else entirely: dragging Eddy's brother inside.]
Lee: First one inside gets to give him mouth to mouth! [When the Kankers finish putting Eddy's brother inside, Marie reattaches the door and shortly thereafter, a flurry of girlish giggling erupts.]
Jimmy: Second verse, same as the first! [singing] When you stub your toe and it hurts you know…
The Kids (including Jonny too this time with the Eds): [singing] ...Friends are there to help you.
When you trip on your face and your teeth are misplaced, friends are there to help you.
When you're flying low and you're giving a show, friends are there to help you.
When you take off your shoe and your feet stink PEE-YEW, friends are there to help you.

[last lines of the film and series]
Jonny: This is your craziest plan ever, Plank! We'll show them! WE'LL SHOW THEM ALL! What's that? They did, didn't they? Yeeeaahhh... The goody-goody-two-shoe days of Captain Melonhead and Splinter have come to an end! And out of the darkness will rise the villainous days of the Gourd! And his evil cohort, Timber, the Dark Shard! Together, we will exact revenge, on the entire CUL! DE!! SAC!!! What? There's no time left? It's the end of the movie? What movie?