Doom Patrol

Doom Patrol (2019-) is an American superhero streaming television series developed by Jeremy Carver. Based on the DC Comics superhero team of the same name, the series features Jane (Diane Guerrero), Rita Farr (April Bowlby), Vic Stone (Joivan Wade), Larry Trainor (Matt Bomer / Matthew Zuk), Cliff Steele (Brendan Fraser / Riley Shanahan), and Chief (Timothy Dalton) as the members of the eponymous Doom Patrol. Although Bowlby, Bomer, and Fraser reprise their roles from the series Titans, the two shows are set in separate continuities.

Season 1

Pilot [1.01]

Mr. Nobody: Ready for a story about super heroes? Ugh, more TV superheroes, just what the world needs. Be honest, have you hung yourself yet? Or what if I told you this was actually a story about super zeroes, losers, achingly pathetic meta-human goose eggs. How about it? Ready to feel better about your own miserable lives for the next hour or so? Follow me.

---

Larry Trainor: I thought you might like some air.

Cliff Steele: I can't feel the air.

Larry Trainor: Sucks to be you.

Donkey Patrol [1.02]

Victor Stone: Okay, um, how does she work exactly?

Cliff Steele: Work? She's not a fucking machine, and I have no idea.

---

Cliff Steele: Where are you going?

Rita Farr: It's Thursday, trash day.

Cliff Steele: So that's it? I'm going it alone?

Rita Farr: What did you expect Cliff? We're not heroes.

---

Mr. Nobody: Alas, our merry band of misfits were not equipped for grand acts of heroism just yet. That was a finesse that dear old daddy hadn't bothered to teach them.

Niles Caulder: Who are you talking to?

Mr. Nobody: Grant Morrison fans, Reddit trolls with DC subscriptions, and the three new fans who stuck around after the donkey fart.

---

Crazy Jane: Oh my gosh, I know who you are. You're Cyborg.

Victor Stone: In the flesh, and you are?

Crazy Jane: Baby Doll, duh. I'm your biggest fan. You are so cool. Way cooler than the Flash.

Victor Stone: You want to know a secret? He's not even that fast.

---

Mr. Nobody: (to Rita, Larry and Victor) You are wrong… so wrong, to doubt the narrator. I mean, I’m the narrator. Think about that. I exist outside of time and space. I know your past, present, and future. I know what you did. What you are willing to do. So if you don’t want you sad, solipsistic utterly useless lives dissected infront of the world...

---

Victor Stone: (to Mr. Nobody) You don't get it. You think forcing me to relive this is torture? I relive this every time I go to sleep. I relive this when I close my eyes. You may know who I am, but you don't know shit about me. If you did, you would know that every criminal I bust and every person I save, is me fulfilling a pledge to my mom that she'll never get to hear. Trying to make her proud. Knowing I'm the reason she's not around to see it. That's my burden. That's what it means to be Cyborg.

Puppet Patrol [1.03]

Heinrich Von Fuchs: Today my descendants continue my legacy of making great men greater. Here at Fuchtopia. Sadly we no longer accept Groupon.

---

John Bowers: Don’t you get it? I have no say in our relationship, Larry. It’s always about you. Your career and your family.

---

Steve Larson: (to Cliff and Larry) I was saving up for the Morden... but I just couldn't wait! I mean Mister Nobody, right!? But, who's got those kind of decades? So... I'm getting magnet feet instead.

Cult Patrol [1.04]

Rita Farr: We're going to save the world, or whatever, and then I will have a stiff Manhattan and go to bed.

---

Hammerhead: Paraguay was an eye-opener. All that carnage, the blood. You had Jane conned pretty good, but I know better. Cliff, you’re a fucking monster. You’re just another bundle of toxic masculinity.

---

Larry Trainor: You can't live for other people. You have to be true to yourself.

Paw Patrol [1.05]

Ezekiel the Cockroach: See it there, the Eye of God weeping angrily over the land of Sodom and Gomorrah. He will reap this land, he will pull the weed and start again. This broken earth will become the new holy promised land. Finally, we will be free of the two -legged blights, just as Cain was free of Abel. What he created for us will be ours again!

Doom Patrol Patrol [1.06]

Crazy Jane: [after Cyborg is having a bad day, locked out of his own mind, Jane presses her finger against his chest circle] Hey Siri, what is the Doom Patrol?

---

Rita Farr: (to Steve) A long time ago, you taught me I was my own biggest obstacle. That I could decide who I wanted to be. For the last 60 years, I decided that Rita Farr was someone who deserved to be punished. I haven’t changed my mind about that. Rita Farr is…empty and ugly. And small. And I don’t want to be those things anymore. I don’t want to be Rita Farr anymore. Without her, I don’t know who I am. All I know is… I don’t want to end up like you. Or Arani, or Rhea. And who knows… Maybe if I… Stop trying to forget things that haunt me, and actually face them, maybe Mr. Nobody won’t hold so much power over me. I owe you for that. And I forgive you.

---

Rita Farr: I was a belly dancer, an SEO spy, the queen of Muscle Beach. I used to be Rita Farr, star of stage and screen. Now I don't know who I am.

Hair Patrol [1.10]

Niles Caulder: And then, in a single moment, I realized I understood absolutely nothing at all.

---

Ernest Franklin: Facial hair connects me to the secrets of the universe. It's the ultimate flavor savor. All the memories, secrets, sandwiches - a man's beard witnesses all things. And only I can decode the language.

Flex Patrol [1.13]

Mr. Nobody: After thirteen pointless, meandering episodes of character-driven schlock, we can finally get to the show that everyone wanted to see in the first place... a superhero show! Right versus wrong... good versus evil... hero... versus villain... that's me!

Penultimate Patrol [1.14]

Cliff Steele: What's a street doing in the middle of nowhere?

Larry Trainor: I'm sure they have a logical explanation.

Rita Farr: They?

Larry Trainor: Danny. Did I never mention a sentient, teleporting, gender-queer, street Vic and I hung out on when Jane lost her shit and tried to get married?

---

Flex Mentallo: [Flex is preparing to use his flexing powers to send the Doom Patrol into the White Space] Alright, everybody focus! I need you to focus on the White Space.

[Flex holds up an open comic book and flexes his muscles]

Cliff Steele: Anybody? Anything?

Rita Farr: I... I feel... s-something.

Larry Trainor: Me too.

Crazy Jane: Yeah...

Cliff Steele: [Cliff is unable to feel because of his robot body] Is there something that I should be feeling right now?

Larry Trainor: It's like... oh? OH!

Rita Farr: Oh my...! Huh!

Cliff Steele: [Cliff looks around and sees people in the street acting strangely] What the fuck is going on?

Rita Farr: We're all reaching... .!

Larry Trainor: Oh... oh!

Crazy Jane: We're fucking cumming man! [Everyone including the Doom Patrol but except for Flex and Cliff begin to simultaneously orgasm] Shit!

Larry Trainor: Oh oh!

Rita Farr: Oh! Oh! Ohhhhh!

Flex Mentallo: [Flex realizes what's happening] I think I flexed the wrong muscle.

Cliff Steele: No shit dummy! [Cliff realizes that he is unable to orgasm because of his robot body and begins to fake an orgasm] Oh, err... oh oh, oh yeah!

Crazy Jane: [Crazy Jane looks at Flex] I'm gonna fucking kill you! Oh fuck!

[Everyone except for Flex and Cliff simultaneously orgasm]

Flex Mentallo: I am so, so, so, so sorry. I was shooting for the splenius capitis, and I accidentally flexed the splenius cervicus. You did the right thing...

Rita Farr: Just give us a moment!

Larry Trainor: Please.

Flex Mentallo: Take as much time as you need... I... I'm stupid...

Ezekiel Patrol [1.15]

Ezekiel the Cockroach: I am becoming God! Destroyer of worlds!