Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (1987) is a comic novel by the British writer Douglas Adams.

Quotations here are cited from the 1991 Pocket Books reprint ISBN 0671746723

Chapter 1

It is difficult to be sat on all day, every day, by some other creature, without forming an opinion about them. On the other hand, it is perfectly possible to sit all day, every day, on top of another creature and not have the slightest thought about them whatsoever.

• This time there would be no witnesses.
  • Chapter 1, p. 1

• And time began seriously to pass.
  • Chapter 1, p. 3

• It is difficult to be sat on all day, every day, by some other creature, without forming an opinion about them. On the other hand, it is perfectly possible to sit all day, every day, on top of another creature and not have the slightest thought about them whatsoever.
  • On sentient horses, in Chapter 1, p. 6 jib head

Chapter 2

• The Electric Monk was a labor-saving device, like a dishwasher or a video recorder. Dishwashers washed tedious dishes for you, thus saving you the bother of washing them yourself, video recorders watched tedious television for you, thus saving you the bother of looking at it yourself; Electric Monks believed things for you, thus saving you what was becoming an increasingly onerous task, that of believing all the things the world expected you to believe.
  • Chapter 2, p. 4

• Unfortunately this Electric Monk had developed a fault, and had started to believe all kinds of things, more or less at random. It was even beginning to believe things they'd have difficulty believing in Salt Lake City. It had never heard of Salt Lake City, of course. Nor had it ever heard of a quingigillion, which was roughly the number of miles between this valley and the Great Salt Lake of Utah.
  • Chapter 2, p. 5

Chapter 4

• He instituted this, er, Chair of Chronology to see if there was any particular reason why one thing happened after another and if there was any way of stopping it. Since the answers to the three questions were, I knew immediately, yes, no, and maybe, I realised I could then take the rest of my career off.