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Diary of a Wimpy Kid

novel by Jeff Kinney

Diary of a Wimpy Kid is a series of fiction books written by the American author and cartoonist Jeff Kinney.

Greg HeffleyEdit

  • First of all, let me get something straight: This is a JOURNAL, not a diary. I know what it says on the cover, but when Mom went out to buy this thing I SPECIFICALLY told her not to get one that said "diary" on it. Great. All I need is for some jerk to catch me carrying this book around and get the wrong idea.
  • The only reason I agreed to do this at all is that I figure later on when I'm rich and famous, I'll have better things to do than answer people's stupid questions all day long. Ok, how about I take the blame for you.

"I'm pretty much the most important person i know'

Manny HeffleyEdit

  • Bubby fwowed wock at big window [sliding glass door]
  • (making an excuse) I'm ownwy thwee!
  • I'm sowwy, Bubby.
  • (what he calls Greg) Bubby!
  • Ploopy.
  • Tingy.
  • Wood you wike some chokwits?

Frank HeffleyEdit

  • (at a swim meet) Stop shivering, Greg!
  • (to Manny) I think I just heard some grunting noises coming from the furnace room.
  • What? I can't enjoy my music, too?
  • I must be losing my marbles.
  • Good luck with that!
  • (To Rowley) The basement is off limits!

Susan HeffleyEdit

  • You forgot your lunch at home!
  • Did you do the right thing?
  • That's not nice!
  • Hi, honey bunches!
  • (to Rodrick's band leader sticking out his tongue) I don't like that!
  • (To Greg) You forgot this, sweetie pie. (shows sports bag to Greg)
  • (To Rodrick) You better not have a party

Rowley JeffersonEdit

  • Joshie says that you should respect your parents and follow your dreams!


  • (when he has to pee) Juice! Juuuice!
  • Wanna see my "Secret Freckle"?
  • (in letter form) Dear Gregory, I'm very sorry I chased you with a booger on my finger. Here, I put it on this paper so you can get me back. (Greg faints).
  • I bet you I can put your whole foot in my mouth!
  • (To Greg) Can I peek at your infection?


Fregley: Wanna see my "secret freckle"?
Greg: Umm... no thanks.

(Rowley and Greg are playing Formula One Racing)
Rowley: Bwaahahahaha!

Chirag: Rowley, do you think I exist?
Rowley: Nope! I can't even hear you or see you!

(In front of Manny)
Susan: I love you soooo much!
Frank: And I love you so much!

(Whenever Rowley comes over)
Frank: The basement is off-limits.
Rowley: Yes, sir.

(Trying out a secret code)
Greg: Your-pa dad-pa smells-pa like-pa a woman-pa!
Rowley: Hee hee hee!
(Rowley's dad kicks Greg out)

Greg: Did you see any sharks fighting giant tarantulas on your safari?
Rowley: No. And sharks don't fight tarantulas.
Greg: Well, at Wild Kingdom they do.

Fregley: Can I peek at your infection?
Greg: Go away.

Greg: Rowley here just got back from South Dakota!
Rowley: South America!
Greg: Whatever!

Susan: Why don't you go outside and play with Fregley?
Greg: I think Fregley might be naked.

(Greg plays Rodrick's music without headphones plugged in, Frank rushes in)
Frank: Let's you and me have a talk, FRIEND.

(In book writing)
Greg: Mom has a TOTALLY different style when it comes to punishment. If you mess up and Mom catches you, the first thing she does is take a few days to figure out what your punishment should be. And while you're waiting, you do all these nice things to get off easier.
(main dialogue)
Greg: I just dusted the dining room for the heck of it!
Susan: How thoughtful of you!
(book writing)
Greg: But then after a few days, right when YOU forget you're in trouble, that's when she lays it on you.
(main dialogue, Greg playing video games)
Susan: Are you having fun?
Greg: YEAH!
Susan: No video games for a week!

(book writing)
Greg: I'm still grounded from playing video games, so Manny has been using my system. Mom went out and bought a whole bunch of educational video games, and watching Manny play them is like torture.
(main dialogue)
TV: What number comes after two and rhymes with "tree"?
Manny: Hmm...

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