Darby Conley

American cartoonist

Darby Conley (born June 15, 1970) is an American cartoonist and author of the comic-strip Get Fuzzy.

Quotes

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  • There are two kinds of cartoonists in the world today—those who started out by ripping off The Far Side, and those who won't admit that they've ever ripped off The Far Side, probably because they're still doing it (some people rip off Calvin and Hobbes or Bloom County, of course, but they all started by ripping off The Far Side).
    • Groovitude, page v (preface)
  • Ethics are so annoying. I avoid them on principle.
    • Daily strip for August 15, 2007
  • Ahhhh... Satchel, my boy, there's nothin' like a tuna smoothie on a hot summer day...
    • Groovitude, page 163 and daily strip for August 26, 2000
  • A bad writer is just a good writer with writer's block.
    • Daily strip for December 11, 2004
  • Robert, you are so wrong, philosophers weep at the sound of your voice.
    • Sunday strip for November 16, 2003
  • Thank you, o can opener, for this can which you are about to open. You are truly a beautiful can opener, and though I am not worthy of you, I love you.
    • Groovitude, page 217 and daily strip for December 26, 2000
  • Is that drooling problem you have due to genetic inbreeding, or are you just really attracted to me? (Example 1 of why Bucky isn't allowed out in public)
    • Bucky Katt's Big Book of Fun, page 96 and daily strip for October 23, 2001
  • You may think you're not pretty enough for me, but I bet I'm pretty enough for the both of us. (Example 4 of why Bucky isn't allowed out in public)
    • Bucky Katt's Big Book of Fun, page 97 and daily strip for October 26, 2001
  • It is true that you may fool all the people some of the time, you can fool some of the people all the time, but you can not fool all of the people all the time... Dogs, on the other hand, with them all you need to do is flick your wrist and they run off looking for some stupid tennis ball. (Famous cat quotes)
    • Bucky Katt's Big Book of Fun, page 114 and daily strip for December 10, 2001
  • Friends... Romans... Countrymen... leave me alone. (Famous cat quotes)
    • Bucky Katt's Big Book of Fun, page 114 and daily strip for December 11, 2001
  • Two slugs slithered on a yellow wood,
    And sorry that I could not trample both,
    Being one trampler, long I stood
    And looked them down as fierce as I could
    To where they sat in the undergrowth...

    I will be telling this with a sigh
    Somewhere sitting upon a fence:
    Two slugs slithered on a yellow wood
    And I-- I ate the slug less trampled by,
    And that has made all the difference. (Famous cat quotes)
    • Bucky Katt's Big Book of Fun, page 114 and daily strip for December 12, 2001
  • I regret that you have but one pie to give for my tummy. (Famous cat quotes)
    • Bucky Katt's Big Book of Fun, page 115 and daily strip for December 14, 2001
  • Do not go gentle into that cold bath! (Famous cat quotes)
    • Bucky Katt's Big Book of Fun, page 130 and daily strip for January 12, 2002
  • Robert, after spending 48 hours with this fish, we have transcended the conventional "food-to-consumer" relationship. This fish is now my friend.
    • Bucky Katt's Big Book of Fun, page 129 and daily strip for January 9, 2002
  • Ohhh, get 'im off me, Satchel!
    • LoserPalooza, page 1 and Sunday strip for November 10, 2002
  • You can wordify anything if you just verb it.
    • LoserPalooza and Sunday strip for April 27, 2003
  • OK, monkey, it's just you and me... I'll give you time to pray to your big, filthy monkey god before I food you.
    • LoserPalooza and daily strip for July 28, 2003
  • I call this "Ode to a Pigeon": Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, You lookin' at me? You lookin' at me?!
    • LoserPalooza and daily strip for July 14, 2003
  • I think... therefore I am annoyed.
    • Daily strip for November 17, 2007
  • This is the line for the hydrant, right?
    • Groovitude, page 235 and daily strip for February 7, 2001
  • Holy cow! You were totally right-- whipped cream rocks!
    • Bucky Katt's Big Book of Fun, page 61 and daily strip for August 2, 2001
  • Oh-ho-ho-man! I could sit here and smell this pole all day, I kid you not! (Example 1 of why Satchel isn't allowed outside)
    • Bucky Katt's Big Book of Fun, page 124 and daily strip for November 27, 2001
  • Ohhh, your real name is "Brad"?! I only knew you by what Rob calls you around the house: "big dumb *#%$". (Example 2 of why Satchel isn't allowed outside)
    • Bucky Katt's Big Book of Fun, page 124 and daily strip for November 28, 2001
  • Do I live here? ...if not, would you still feed me? (Example 3 of why Satchel isn't allowed outside)
    • Bucky Katt's Big Book of Fun, page 125 and daily strip for November 29, 2001
  • Is that food? ...that looks like food... I think I'll taste it. (Example 5 of why Satchel isn't allowed outside)
    • Bucky Katt's Big Book of Fun, page 125 and daily strip for December 1, 2001
  • He's an FBI Bomb Dog!!! Do you know how cool that is?! That's the people equivalent of like if Paul Newman was a fire-fighting, baby-kissing rock square!
    • Bucky Katt's Big Book of Fun, page 147 and daily strip for February 27, 2002
  • Now you listen to me, you little party favor, I'm sick of your rotten attitude! I let you call me names and push me around because I consider you my friend, but I'm sure that if I wanted to, I could throw you around like a chew toy!!!
    • LoserPalooza, page 2 and daily strip for November 19, 2002
  • Oh, Bucky... You're so tiny, yet you're such a massive nutjob...
    • Groovitude, page 196 and daily strip for November 6, 2000
  • I tell ya, man, your cat is officially out of control. He really gives new meaning to the term tempest in a teapot.
    • Daily strip for July 19, 2002

Dialogue

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Bucky: "The last time I cooked you complained."
Rob: "Setting a bologna sandwitch on fire is not 'cooking'."
Satchel: "It was pretty good, though."
  • Groovitude, page 166 and daily strip for September 1, 2000

Bucky: "Hello, caller, do you have an interior decorating problem I can help you with?"
Caller: "Uh... Yeah, I have a spare cabinet door that I can't use, but I don't want to throw it away..."
Bucky: "Mm-hm, mm-hm. I would paint it gold, hammer some legs on it, and call it a coffee table."
Caller: "Well... I guess I could do that... It's got a busted hinge on it, though..."
Bucky:"Oh, broken hinges are very "collectible" right now. Paint it gold, hang it on the wall, and tell people how great it is before they can form their own opinion on it."
  • Groovitude, page 172 and daily strip for September 11, 2000

Rob: "Bucky Katt! you just broke every light bulb in the house! Where are you going to do now?"
Bucky: "I'm going to Disney World!"
  • Groovitude, page 190 and daily strip for October 23, 2000

Rob: "So... You're saying that you're not going to let a dead fish outsmart you."
Bucky: "Not if I can help it."
  • Groovitude, page 218 and daily strip for December 29, 2000

Rob: "I got 20 bucks that says you can't finish that."
Bucky: "Listen, I'm not intimidated by you or your freakish talking money."
  • Bucky Katt's Big Book of Fun, page 15 and daily strip for April 9, 2001

Bucky: "So I was watching TV today, and there was the most stupidest show on."
Rob: "You don't say. Offended you, did it?"
Bucky: "Yes... Yes. "Offended." That's exactly what it did. It said we evolved from monkeys! Well, lemme tell ya something, Bucky Katt don't come from no monkey!"
Rob: "No. No you didn't. Cats actually come from a tiny, less developed, rat-like creature."
Bucky: "Wha... Hu... Fe... Shu..."
Satchel: "Ohhhh-ho-ho! Burn! Look out! Cat on fire! Uncle monkey's lookin' pretty good now, eh, Ratboy? Ha Ha Ha!"
  • Sunday strip for June 23, 2002

Satchel: "Oops. I got some drool on myself... And the rug... And hey, I wonder what that dried food in my fur was."
Bucky: "Don't you ever get tired of being a dog?"
  • Daily strip for March 12, 2001

Joe Doman: "I mean, without that fang, he's like an upside-down wedge-bot on battlebots... He's got nothin'..."
Rob Wilco: "Good analogy, dude!"
  • Daily strip from June 7, 2002
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