Daddy Day Care

2003 film by Steve Carr

Daddy Day Care is a 2003 American comedy film starring Eddie Murphy and Jeff Garlin about two jobless men who decide to start a day care business.

Directed by Steve Carr. Written by Geoff Rodkey.
D-Day Is Coming. (taglines)


  • [walking into Chapman Academy] Look at this place. It's Princeton for preschoolers.
  • [while leading Miss Harridan into his house] Is there anything I can get you to drink? Coffee, tea, water, eye of newt?
  • If you don't stop it with that Star Trek stuff, I'm gonna push you in that sticker bush.
  • Any boob can run a day-care center, but it takes a family to raise some kids and that's what we're gonna be from now on: a family.


  • When The Carrot is done with you, you will be nothing but a kumquat!
  • Let's get safety gate crazy.


  • [After realizing that he has painted glue on his face instead of face paint] That's not paint! It's glue! [Screams in horror along with Jamie]
  • THIS STUFF– IS NOT FOR SALE! [Throws down his magazine]
  • [While Charlie is explaining a play for football] How about we just run in a circle?


Charlie: What's going on?
Phil: Your worst nightmare.
Charlie: What?
Phil: Mr. Broccoli's a no-show.

Kim: How was your day, baby?
Charlie: I lost my J-O-B.
Kim: You lost your J-O-B?
Charlie: I got F-I-R-E-D. Me and 300 other people.
Kim: They cannot do that.

[Miss Harridan reads a flyer for a fundraiser called "Rock for Daddy Day Care"]
Miss Harridan: "Rock for Daddy Day Care. Help us finance our new permanent home". [put the flyer on her desk; to Jenny] Do you know what this means?
Jenny: It's a chance to improve ourselves through a little healthy competition?
Miss Harridan: [frustrated] No, you bubble-headed idiot. It's a death sentence. If they get their hands on a big enough space, they'll ruin me. They're selling fun. I can't compete with fun. [turns away in anger] I should've crushed them in the beginning when they were weak. It'll be harder now, but I have no choice. I've got to stop them.
Jenny: How're you gonna do that?
Miss Harridan: [turns back to Jenny and smiles cruelly] By any means necessary.

Becca: We need more learning about things!
Charlie: More learning about things?
Becca: Yes. We're at a very critical age. You have to feed our minds!

Charlie [to Phil]: Today, we need some organization and planned activities.
Phil: No. We need Ritalin and leashes, that's what we need.

Jamie's Mom [to Jamie]: Who are you going to call if there's any problem? [gives her a phone]
Jamie: 911, Mommy.
Jamie's Mom: Oh, such a good girl!


  • D-Day Is Coming.
  • Who's your Daddy?


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