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Cruel Intentions

1999 film directed by Roger Kumble

Cruel Intentions is a 1999 film about a girl who makes a bet that her step-brother won't be able to bed a virgin, who wants to wait until love. If he loses, she gets his Jaguar, if he wins, he gets her. The film is based on the same source material as the films Dangerous Liaisons (1988) (adapted by Christopher Hampton from his play) and Valmont (1989).

Directed and written by Roger Kumble, based on Les Liaisons dangereuses by Choderlos de Laclos.
In the game of seduction, there is only one rule: Never fall in love. Taglines

Kathryn Merteuil

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  • Everybody loves me, and I intend to keep it that way.
  • Introduce her to your world of sex, drugs and...what else do you do?
  • She's quite cute, you know. Young, supple breasts, a tight, firm ass... uncharted booty... Be her Captain Picard, Valmont. Boldly go where no man has gone before.
  • I hate it when things don't go my way. It makes me so horny.
  • Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.
  • When I'm through with Cecile, she'll be the premier tramp of the New York area.
  • You're telling me you had the chance to fuck her and you didn't? God, are you a chump.
  • People don't change overnight, you and I are two of a kind.
  • You're just a toy, Sebastian. A little toy I like to play with.

Sebastian Valmont

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  • [to his therapist] You have killer legs. I'd love to photograph them...
  • I didn't know it was asshole day at the Valmont house.
  • I'm sick of sleeping with these insipid Manhattan debutantes. Nothing shocks them anymore.
  • We've done some pretty fucked up shit in our time but this... I mean, we're destroying an innocent girl. You do realize that?
  • [Letter to Annette] Dear Annette, I don't know what I could possibly say that would rectify the harm I've caused you. The truth of the matter is that being with you was the only time I have ever been happy. My whole life has been a joke. I prided myself on taking joy in others' misery. Well, it finally backfired. I succeed in hurting the first person I ever loved. Enclosed is my most prized possession. My journal. For a long time I considered it my trophy. A sordid collection of my conquests. If you really want to know the truth then please read it. No more lies. Please give me another chance. I'm a wreck without you.
  • You spend all your time preaching about waiting for love. Well here it is. Right in front of you, and you're going to turn your back on it. So I guess we're just fucked. I'll move on. But you are going to have to live the rest of your life knowing that you've turned your back on love. And that makes you a hypocrite. Have a nice life.

Others

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  • Greg McConnell: What is this, Grandma with a birthday present? Suck it, you dumb bitch!
  • Blaine Tuttle: He used to sneak into my dorm room every month. We'd go at it for a little while, and then, as soon as he'd come, he'd start freaking out. "What are you doing, man? I'm not a fag. If you tell anybody, I'll kick your ass!" God. The only reason I let him keep up the charade is because the man's got a mouth like a hoover. Ooh!

Dialogue

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Sebastian: Oh, well, duty calls. Dr. Greenbalm and her daughter should make for interesting entry.
Kathryn: Oh, your journal. Could you be more queer?
Sebastian: Could you be more desperate to read it?
Cecile: This sure doesn't taste like an iced tea.
Sebastian: It's from Long Island.
Sebastian: That is a lovely shirt you're wearing.
Cecile: Thanks, my dad got it for me from Australia.
Sebastian: How are things down under? [looks down her skirt] Blossoming, I hope?
Sebastian: You AMAZE me.
Kathryn: Eat me, Sebastian. It's okay for guys like you and Court to fuck everyone but when I do it, I get dumped for innocent little twits like Cecile. God forbid I exude confidence and enjoy sex. Do you think I relish the fact that I have to act like Mary Sunshine 24/7 so I can be considered a lady? I'm the Marcia fucking Brady of the Upper East Side, and sometimes I want to kill myself. So there's your psychoanalysis, Dr. Freud. Now tell me are you in, or are you out?
Kathryn: Can I take my new car for a ride?
Sebastian: Kathryn, the only thing you'll be riding is me.
Kathryn: The parental units called while you were out.
Sebastian: Lovely. How IS your gold-digging whore of a mother enjoying Bali?
Kathryn: She suspects your impotent, alcoholic father is diddling the maid.
Sebastian: Good.
Kathryn: About that little wager of yours, count me in.
Sebastian: What are the term...
Kathryn: [interrupting] If I win, then that hot little car of yours, is mine.
Sebastian: And if I win?
Kathryn: I'll give you something you've been obsessing about ever since our parents got married.
Sebastian: Be, more, specific.
Kathryn: In English; I'll fuck your brains out.
Kathryn: Fuck her yet?
Sebastian: Working on it.
Kathryn: Loser.
Sebastian: Blow me.
Kathryn: Call me later?
Sebastian: K.
Kathryn: I think there's something going on between Cecile and her music teacher.
Mrs. Caldwell: Ronald? That's crazy!
Kathryn: I know, she's so young and he's so...
Mrs. Caldwell: Black!
Annette: You know what your problem is? You take yourself way too seriously.
Sebastian: I do not.
Annette: You should lighten up.
Sebastian: I am lightened, can we drop this?
Annette: Okay. [makes a funny, ridiculous face at Sebastian]
Sebastian: Will you stop that? [Annette continues to make a face] Stop that, it's distracting. [starts to laugh]
Annette: Are you laughing?
Sebastian: [seriously] No.
Annette: No? [makes another face, Sebastian begins to laugh and then regains control] It's okay, you can laugh, I promise I won't tell anyone. [smiles/smirks]
Kathryn: My advice is to sleep with as many people as possible.
Cecile: But that would make me a slut, wouldn't it?
Kathryn: Cecile, everybody does it; it's just that nobody talks about it.
Cecile: So, it's like a secret society?
Kathryn: That's one way of looking at it. [under her breath] Fucking idiot...
Sebastian: I can't win with you.
Annette: It isn't about winning, Sebastian.
Annette: I'm impressed.
Sebastian: Well, I'm in love.
Sebastian: What shall we toast to?
Kathryn: To my triumph.
Sebastian: It's not my choice of toast, but it's your call. To your triumph over Annette. [Kathryn laughs] What's so funny?
Kathryn: Silly rabbit. My triumph isn't over her. It's over you.
Sebastian: Come again?
Kathryn: You were very much in love with her. And you're still in love with her. But it amused me to make you ashamed of it. You gave up on the first person you ever loved because I threatened your reputation. Don't you get it? You're just a toy, Sebastian. A little toy I like to play with. And now you've completely blown it with her. I think it's the saddest thing I've ever heard. [drinks champagne] Tastes good. So I assume you've come here to make arrangements, but unfortunately, I don't fuck losers.

Taglines

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  • In the game of seduction, There is only one rule: Never fall in love.
  • What you can't have, you can't resist.
  • Are you in, or are you out?
  • They're old enough to know better, and too young to care.

Cast

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