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Crash Twinsanity

2004 video game

Crash Twinsanity (also known as Crash Bandicoot 5) is a platform game from the Crash Bandicoot series. It was released by Traveller's Tales for PlayStation 2 and Xbox on September 28, 2004. Taking place 3 years after the Wrath of Cortex, this games follows Crash Bandicoot and Doctor Neo Cortex as they have join force to stop a pair of mutant parrots who have some kind of connection with Doctor Cortex of destroying the Wumpa Islands.

Doctor Neo Cortex

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  • [after paralyzing Coco] Sleep, my insipid angel...
  • It's true, blondes do have more fun!
  • Surprised to see me, Crash? Like the fleas in your fur, I keep coming back! Three years, I spent alone in the frozen Antarctic wastes... and I missed you. And so I've organized a little gathering, like a birthday party, except... the exact opposite... and look, all of your friends are here... You are so very popular. Let's start handing out the presents.
  • Yes! The crystal is mine! [Crash gazes into the crystal and walks a little closer; screams] Keep back, you weak-minded fool! Avert your gaze or you'll go crystal-crazy!
  • How I envy the simple lives of the tribesfolk. Living in harmony with Mother Nature, the noble boar, the humble bumblebee... [bees start attacking him] AAAAAAAHH!!!
  • Crash, I've been like a father to you! I created you, nursed you... tried to destroy you... So what do you say? With my mighty intellect and your vacuous stupidity, we'll be unbeatable!
  • This is the Psychetron, gateway to the infinite dimensions! Beyond our universe, somewhere between the 9th and 11th Dimensions, lies the mysterious 10th Dimension! And there we must go in order to confront the Evil Twins, steal the riches, and restore the natural order of things... with me on top.
  • In the dark ocean of my intellect swims a magnificent whale of a plan!
  • Sleep soundly, Nina, and don't fear the night, with its large claws that scratch and its sharp teeth that bite! Under the covers, there's no need to hide, for your uncle's the monster and he's on your side!
  • [after getting stuck inside a pipe] I'm stuck! The greatest evil scientist in the world... stuck in a pipe. How could things get any worse? [he farts inside the pipe and then whines]
  • [as throwing bombs on Crash during his fake birthday party] This is from Tiny, this is from Dingodile… Ripper Roo, you shouldn't have! Pinstripe, how thoughtful! Oh, dear, 2 of the same! But don't worry, I kept the receipt.
  • Here's one gift you can return!
  • Meet your brand new, hydraulically operated, twin brother, Mecha Bandicoot!
  • I've ruined the lives of so many! I can't be expected to remember them all!
  • Throw me over there. Trust me. We're pals right?
  • This is where we wrong the rights, and sweep the past under the rug...
  • Come now, as we explore a new dimension! [sheepishly] It should've been two new dimensions, but we... ran out of time...
  • [to a penguin] The check bounced? Are you sure? Well, those past few years have kind of been slow. Wrath of Cortex didn't do as well as we hoped, and...
  • True. Now... PLAYTIME IS OVER!! Victor, Moritz! Back in your cage, you naughty boys!
  • You know, Crash. For all these years, I've been wrong about you. Your creation was a mistake, and your existence has been a constant reminder of that mistake, but I learned something from all of this. I learned that you can't run away from your mistakes… but you can bury them! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOUR RIDICULOUS FACE AGAIN!!!
  • [after the Psychetron malfunctions and teleports Cortex in Crash's brain] Where am I? What is this?! [looks around and finds himself surrounded by numerous personifications of Crash who start dancing. Cortex screams in panic and starts crying]
  • Oh, how I hate bandicoots.

Uka Uka

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  • My, my! Can it be? Crash and Cortex? I don't know whether to kiss you, or kill you!
  • [responding to Aku Aku] I like a challenge. I accept! This should be fun!
  • [to Cortex] Such a big head, such a tiny brain!

Victor and Moritz the Evil Twins

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  • Victor: Cower, you fools, before the awesome might of... the Evil Twins!
  • Moritz: Catch you later, brainiac!
  • Moritz: See you around, losers! Hey, is it lunchtime yet?
  • Victor: You see? This is why nobody likes you. A curse on you, Crash Bandicoot! A curse on you all!
  • Victor: That's it, Cortex! You wanna make up for lost time and play with your pets?! So be it!
  • Victor: Well, this is one heck of an ending.
  • Victor: So, this is how the rich and ugly fly?
  • Victor: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just skip to the good bit.

Others

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  • Dingodile: Treasure, eh? Bonza!
  • Madame Amberley: Zo, cry-baby Cortex is all grown up. I see you've found employment as a barber.
  • Rusty Walrus: Ah, yummy! Fresh meat for my pot!
  • Aku Aku: It is I, Aku Aku! My duty is to protect you. You may summon me by breaking open these crates. Call me thrice and I shall grant you special powers!
  • Doctor Nefarious Tropy: The rats are leaving the sinking ship.
  • Skunk: Hey, hey, hey! Yeah, you! I've been doing this for ten stinkin' years! Back and forward, back and forward... AND I'M SICK OF IT! Well, I'm not gonna do it no more!
  • Rusty Walrus: Come back here, naughty meat!
  • Madame Amberley: Are you going to cry, cry-baby?

Dialogue

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[Cortex and Crash are talking to Farmer Ernest, who is holding a Power Crystal]
Farmer Ernest: Oh, Crash! The Farmers' Market is tomorrow and my Wumpa trees won't grow, for my orchard is riddled with greedy worms! If you rid my land of these pests, I'll give you this Power Crystal.
[Cortex paralyzes Ernest with his raygun and grabs the crystal]
Doctor Neo Cortex: [to camera] I'm an evil scientist. What do you expect? This isn't a game!
[Crash and Cortex meet the Evil Twins for the first time]
Victor: Cower, you fools, before the awesome might of... the Evil Twins!
Dr. Neo Cortex: Aren't you two adorable? Let me see... I might have some choccy treats here for you!
Moritz: Choccy treats?! Ooh! Ooh! [he advances to Cortex, but Victor stops him with his arm]
Victor: We got some good news, and some bad (ones).
Moritz: The bad news – we are going to destroy your precious islands.
Victor: The good (news) – you won't be around to see it.
Neo Cortex: How tiresome!
Victor: Oh, you wanna play mind games? Okay, tough guy! [using his psychokinesis, Victor grabs Cortex's brain from inside his head. Cortex screams] Let's play mind games! [Victor throws the brain at Cortex] This is the part where you run away screaming. [Cortex stays brain-dead for a while, until he screams and runs away, holding his brain] Go on! Run!
Moritz: Catch you later, brainiac!
Victor: I tell ya, you boys have been doing swell. Just swell! Anyhow, we've just been taking in the sights of N. Sanity Island here. Nice digs! So much to see, so much to destroy! You've got the native village, the lava caves, the totem gods...
Moritz: Yeah! Back in the Tenth Dimension, we don't have anything near as nice as the totem gods. The vivid colors, the intricate carving... Y'know, it's almost as if they were alive!
Victor: Almost... exactly as if they were alive!
[At that moment, they use their mental powers to give life to Tikimon, who attacks Crash and Cortex]
[After Crash and Cortex defeat Tikimon]
Victor: Aw, nuts!
Moritz: [eagerly] There's nuts?!
Victor: [to Crash and Cortex] Well, you gave it your best shot. But even now, our Vice-Versa Reverser Device is in operation, sucking the goodness out of this dimension and leaving behind the worst of all possible worlds! We just like making a mess.
Moritz: See ya 'round, losers! [giggles, then turns to Victor] Hey, is it lunchtime yet? [they leave]
Uka Uka: Free... again!
N. Cortex: Mighty Uka Uka...!
Uka Uka: [indignantly] Who has released me from my icy tomb?! My, my. Can it be? Crash and Cortex? I don't know whether to kiss you... or kill you! [Crash puckers up to give a kiss]
[after Uka Uka's ice body is destroyed]
Uka Uka: I shall return! [prepares to fly off]
Aku Aku: Uka Uka, wait! An evil greater than even yours threatens to destroy this world.
Uka Uka: [indignantly] NOOOOOOO!! That's my job!
Aku Aku: Divided, we are but two magical masks. Join me, and together we shall defeat this evil infestation.
Uka Uka: I like a challenge. I accept! This shall be fun!
Aku Aku: The Aku-Uka brothers... together again! [they do a little twirl and disappear]
Dr. Cortex: Come! We must make preparations for– [a ding-dong is heard from the nothing. Crash and Cortex turn around to see a door bearing the Evil Twins' insignia] It's... probably for you. [The door opens. The Evil Twins appear, using the Aku-Uka brothers as ordinary masks]
Moritz: Trick or treat, trick or treat! Hahahaha! [they throw the masks to the floor]
Victor: Fools! You thought these two party toys could defeat us?! We are masters of the infinite dimensions! With power over reality itself!
Moritz: And riches beyond imagination!
Cortex: [intrigued] Riches?!
Victor: "Riches"? What's wrong with you? [punches Moritz's helmet] Always bringing up the riches! You don't remember us, do you, doctor?
Cortex: Should I?
Victor: You ruined our lives! Allow us... to return the favor. [then sends the bionic Ant army to attack Crash and Cortex]
[after Crash and Cortex defeat the Ants. Crash gives a thumbs-up to Cortex. Cortex smiles]
Victor: You see? This is why nobody likes you! A curse on you, Crash Bandicoot! A curse on you all! We shall return!
Moritz: Oh, forget I mentioned the "riches" thing, huh? [winks and then both leave]
Aku Aku: Dr. Cortex, what have you done?
Uka Uka: Who are those evil upstarts?!
Cortex: I've ruined the lives of so many, I can't be expected to remember them all!
Uka Uka: Such a big head... such a tiny brain!
Aku Aku: If we deliver him to the Evil Twins, perhaps they will spare us.
Cortex: But they'll kill me!
Uka Uka: That's a risk I'm willing to take!
Cortex: Crash, I've been like a father to you! I created you, nursed you... tried to destroy you. So what do you say? With my mighty intellect and your vacuous stupidity, we'll be unbeatable! [he and Crash shake hands]
Madame Amberley: You are in detention!
Cortex: Madame Amberley...!
Madame Amberley: So, cry-baby Cortex is all grown up. I see you've found employment as a barber. [Cortex looks sadly to his outfit]
Cortex: [indignantly] I'm an evil scientist!
Madame Amberley: A scientist, are we? To me, you'll always be a little worm!
Dingodile: Cozy, ain't it? Rumor is you 2 chumps have got yer mits in some treasure, and I want a piece of dat pie.
Cortex: I have no idea of what you've just said.
Cortex: [starts remembering how all of this conspirancy happened] Wait, I think I remember now... The way it happened. [echoed]
Young Cortex: [the scene changes to the past where Cortex was 8 years old while studying in the Academy of Evil] Victor, Moritz! Back in your cage, you naughty boys! [as the twins attempted to escape]
Cortex: [voice over] I was 8 years old and I was the most popular student in the academy. Ah, yes, how they loved me. It was my first experiment with the Evolv-O Ray. Phase 1 in my plan of creating an army of super animals! The test subjects: my 2 pet parrots: Victor and Moritz; the only creatures I didn't loathe or eat. The experiment was procceding as fine, when suddenly... [the Evolv-O Ray shoots the twins and they disappear] ...My parrots were gone! Lost amongst the Infinite Dimensions! I was heartbroken. [Young Cortex, however, chuckles evilly] How I missed those twins, and how I wanted to see them again... But be careful what you wish for, young man...
Young Cortex: Back off, grampa!
Cortex: ...Or your wish will come true.
Cortex: I love my airship! It's the only way to fly. [turns around, to see that the Evil Twins are in there too]
Victor: Hey, hey! So, this is how the rich and ugly fly.
Moritz: Oh, stewardess! May I have another bag of those spicy peanuts?! [laughs]
Cortex: I will...
Moritz: Boooooooring! [then uses his psychokinesis to fast-forward Cortex's discourse]
Cortex: [extremely rapidly] I will crush you like the puny bugs you are! You're nothing to me for I'm the great and all-powerful Dr. Neo Cortex! You infantile vermin! How dare you both manhandle and manipulate me?! Rest assured, I shall wreak my terrible vengeance upon...! [stops to catch his breath]
Victor: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just skip to the good bit! [once more sends Ants to attack Cortex]
Cortex: Oh, my! I almost forgot... the treasure!
Doctor Nefarious Tropy: [out-screen] Our treasure!
[Crash, Cortex and Nina turn around to see Doctors N. Tropy, N. Brio and N. Gin]
Doctor N. Gin: Yes! We are rich!
Cortex: That treasure is stolen property!
N. Tropy: It's a little late to develop a conscience, doctor.
Cortex: Personally, I don't care, but I think he... want his gems back. [Spyro burns Tropy, Brio and N. Gin with his fire breath. Cortex laughs.] Hmm...
Cortex: Well, well, well... Apparently, you two little rascals had been very busy since the last time we saw each other.
Victor: Busy finding a way to meet you again! [Victor advances to Cortex and the others] Your failed experiment sent two innocent parrots to the Tenth Dimension! The severe reverso-radioactive conditions here sharpened our skills and warped our fragile eggshell minds. Ingredients for the classic recipe in the Evil Villain Cookbook!
Moritz: [giggles] You see, pops? When it comes to evil scientific prowess, we learned from the best!
Cortex: True, but now... PLAYTIME IS OVER! [points to a birdcage nearby] Victor, Moritz! Back in your cage, you naughty boys! [the Twins, on impulse, fly into the cage]
Victor: [indignantly] What am I doing?! Curse my regimented upbringing! That's it, Cortex! You wanna make up for the lost time and play with your pets?! So be it! [The Twins, using their mental powers, turn the cage into a gigantic mech]
[The Evil Twins are seen heading to Evil Crash's house scarily. They enter, and the door closes on its own. Victor starts pummeling the door, but Moritz calls his attention to Evil Crash, who looks at them with a hungry expression. Through his eyes, the Evil Twins are seen as 2 roast chickens]
Moritz: Oh, boy! I love roast chicken!
Victor: Well, this is one heck of an ending.
[They scream as Evil Crash eats them both off-screen]

Tagline

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  • They're working together, but they don't have to like it!

Voice cast

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