Courage the Cowardly Dog

Courage the Cowardly Dog (1999-2002) is an American animated show about a pink and easily frightened, still brave dog named Courage who lives in a farmhouse with Muriel Bagge, a friendly, sweet-natured yet naive Scottish woman; and Eustace Bagge, a grumpy, greedy farmer who regularly mistreats Courage and often refers to him as a "stupid dog".

Season 1

A Night at the Katz Motel [1.1a]

Katz: A little sport before dying, dear boy?

---

Katz: [after he gets injured] I wish you hadn't done that!

---

Muriel: Come on, Courage! We're leaving. The service here stinks.

Cajun Granny Stew [1.1b]

[Cajun Fox's cave in the outskirts of Nowhere; the Fox is cooking up a pot of granny stew]

Cajun Fox: Oooh, wee! This is gonna be good. [adding ingredients to the bubbling pot] Cup of lizard lips. Pair of elephant ankles. Tablespoon of turtle eyes. Ooh, ooh. I can't wait to win first prize for my granny stew. And one cute little old granny. [closes the cookbook] WHAT?! I ain't got one of them! Well, I'll just have to get me one. [puts on his sunglasses and leaves his cave]

---

Cajun Fox: That dog is becoming a real pain in my… [sinks underwater]

---

Courage: This is all your fault!

Cajun Fox: MY fault?!

Courage: Yeah! You're trying to make a stew out of her!

Cajun Fox: And a right GOOD one she gonna be!

Shadow of Courage [1.2a]

Eustace: BOOGA!! BOOGA!! BOOGA!!

---

Courage: I don't know how to make it in show biz, but up there [looks to the sky] are the real stars.

Dr. Le Quack, Amnesia Specialist [1.2b]

Muriel: Eustace, will you stop that noise?! You'll wake the neighbors!

Eustace: We ain't got no neighbors!

---

Le Quack: [to Muriel, playing her sitar] You must be le patient. Ah, let the therapy begin. [takes off his mustache disguise] Now… you remember nothing? Good. Good. To help you remember, where is le silverware? Ah. [walks up to the silverware cabinet and searches through the drawers; clicks tongue] This is not working. [thinks for an second] Ooh, la, la. Then we'll get you to remember.

---

[Le Quack, wearing a police uniform, is walking away from the destroyed police paddy wagon]

Le Quack: [stops the iris out from closing] Wait, you have not seen the last of Le Quack. [laughs evilly, then the iris out closes on his beak] Ouch!

Hothead [1.3b]

Eustace: You look good enough to me.

---

Courage: Something smells fishy, or my name's Shlinken Hoffer...and it's not.

---

Courage: "WARNING: When using, do not get angry, do not get mad, do not get upset, or else"?!

---

Floyd: Oh My?!

---

Di Lung: Watch where you're going, you fool!

Demon in the Mattress [1.4a]

Eustace: [reading an exorcism incantation] Hullabaloo, and howdy doo! Musty prawns, and Timbucktu! Yeltsy-by, and hibbety-hoo! Kick 'em in the dishpan! Hoo hoo hoo! [looks confused] Kick 'em in the dishpan, hoo hoo hoo?

Freaky Fred [1.4b]

Eustace: That freak's not setting one freaky foot in this house!

---

Fred: Hello new friend my name is Fred, the words you hear are in my head. I say, I said my name is Fred and I've been very..."NAUGHTY".

Night of the Weremole [1.5a]

[While planting carrots in the ground and feeding one to a bunny, Muriel gets her hand bitten and swollen by a weremole, and she, Eustace, and Courage go visit Dr. Vindaloo]

Dr. Vindaloo: Hmm… There's nothing to worry about. It's nothing at all. Nothing at all. [Courage whimpers and Muriel shakes her swollen hand] The swelling is going to go down. To go down. Just keep soaking it. There's nothing to worry about. Just keep soaking it.

Courage: [stammering worriedly] B-b-but-but-but…

Muriel: [patting Courage on the head with her swollen hand] Now, now, I don't want to be any trouble.

Eustace: Then you shouldn't have gotten bit.

---

[Back at the house; Courage and Eustace are sitting in the living room, watching TV while Muriel is in the kitchen, soaking her hand in the sink for the swelling to go down, then looks up at a full moon in the sky, starts shaking and moaning while feeling disorient and ill]

Eustace: [calling for her] Muriel! You're missing your favorite show! Muriel! [grumbles; to Courage] Go find her.

---

Muriel: [turns around] Shh. I'm watching my favorite show.

Dr. Vindaloo: [takes out a tongue depressor stick] Now, I want you to open your mouth and say, "Ahh."

[Muriel opens her mouth really wide with sharped teeth, bites him, and shakes him]

Mother's Day [1.5b]

Eustace: No, Ma. You always looked good to me.

The Duck Brothers [1.6a]

Courage: [pressing the buttons on the mind-control remote, making Muriel struggle to get up, bumping into the walls, and walking on the ceiling] How does this thing work? Come on, come on!

---

Italian Cook: Hey! Bring that duck back! What am I gonna serve?

Courage: Strudel!

Italian Cook: Oh! Good idea!

Shirley the Medium [1.6b]

Eustace Bagg: Our differences are settled...! He's dead and I ain't! [Eustace on his late brother to Muriel]

King Ramses' Curse [1.7a]

[Courage finds an Egyptian stone slab buried in the ground and brings it into the house]

Muriel: [takes the slab of Courage's mouth] Oh, my. This looks very old. Eustace.

Eustace: Eh?

Muriel: Come look what Courage found. What do you suppose it could be?

Eustace: [takes the slab out of Muriel's hands and takes a look] Well, judging by the markings and the obvious age of the relic, I'd have to say it would be...garbage! [throws the slab out the open window]

Muriel: Eustace!

Eustace: [turning on the TV] Garbage! From King Garbage of the Garbage Dynasty. Stupid dog. Always bringing garbage into the house.

Newsman: But the big story today… million-dollar slab stolen from the Tomb of King Ramses.

Eustace: Eh? I'm rich! [brings the slab back inside]

Muriel: But the man said it was stolen, Eustace. We must return it to its rightful place.

Eustace: He said a million-dollar slab, and that means I get a million dollars! And you know what a million dollars means. [Courage panics as the image of King Ramses on the slab magically vanishes] That's right! New lawn chairs!

---

King Ramses: Return the slab.

Eustace: What?

King Ramses: Return the slab or suffer my curse.

Eustace: What's your offer?

King Ramses: This night, you will be visited by three plagues, each worse than the last. Return the slab.

Eustace: Huh. Nice try, professor! [slams the door, believing that King Ramses is Professor Frith in disguise] Who's he kidding? I can see the zipper on that cheap dime store costume.

[King Ramses unleashes the first plague as the image of water vanishes on the slab]

Courage: [howls in horror and a single drop of water lands on his nose] Huh?

[Water droplets start pouring into the house]

Muriel: Courage, did you leave the tub running?

---

[Eustace and Muriel watch King Ramses through the attic window after Courage destroys the gramophone as the second plague]

King Ramses: Return the slab.

Muriel: Oh! Eustace, what are you waiting for? Till we're six feet under?

Eustace: [opens the attic window, yelling out to King Ramses] All right, but a million's as low as I'll go!

[King Ramses raises his arms, unleashing the third and final plague of the image of a locust vanishing on the slab]

---

Eustace: [to King Ramses] Ha! That's three plagues! You're out of ammo, mister! [snickers] And don't think you can come around here pushing no tote bags on us neither.

---

[Last lines]

Professor Frith: At last, the allegedly cursed slab has been returned to King Ramses' crypt, where it will remain buried in antiquity for all time. [the TV shows a picture of a pyramid in the desert]

Muriel: Oh, I wonder where Eustace is.

[Cut to the interior of King Ramses' crypt; The slab has been returned to its original state but the image of King Ramses has been replaced with a screaming Eustace]

Eustace: [echoing, from offscreen] Aah! What's your offer?

The Clutching Foot [1.7b]

Muriel: [waking up] Eustace, is there something wrong?

Eustace: My foot! My foot!

Muriel: [looks at Eustace's purple foot] Oh! Looks like you've got a fungus. Don't worry, Eustace. I know some family remedies.

[Courage and Muriel try to heal Eustace's foot with various painful objects like cactus thorns, lobsters, and a vat of acid, but none of them work]

Muriel: Oh, dear. There's just one thing left to do.

Eustace: Ain't goin' to no doctor.

Muriel: You really should, Eustace.

---

Muriel: Where is my Eustace?! What have you done with my Eustace?!

Big Toe: Shut up, fat woman. You won't be needing your husband anymore, see?

The Hunchback of Nowhere [1.8a]

[As the Hunchback, Courage's new friend, is invited for pancakes for breakfast with Courage, Eustace enters the kitchen and screams at the Hunchback. He and Courage gasp]

Muriel: Ooh!

Eustace: Didn't I tell ya we got no place for the likes of you? Now get, and stay out!

Muriel: Now, Eustace, he is Courage's friend.

Eustace: That makes it worse!

Muriel: Oh, Eustace, don't make such a fuss. Now sit down and eat your breakfast. I'll even get those little blueberries you like so much.

The Gods Must Be Goosey [1.8b]

[A lonely muscular goose god lives up in the heavens above the Bagge farmhouse, desperately looking for a queen to propose]

Goose God: [depressed] Empty. My heart is empty. And my clouds are full. [summons a lightning bolt throws it down from the heavens, damaging the windmill below while Eustace is doing some repairs on his truck] A goose, a gander, a godly goosey gander, without love, is nothing but a fowl. [sits in his throne] Without love, all of this is but puff and fluff and…stuff. [honks in depression]

[Courage and Muriel come out of the house and place two flower pots on the porch]

Muriel: The coming rain should do these flowers good.

Eustace: [presses the horn on the truck's steering wheel, but doesn't work] Darn horn.

Muriel: Eustace? It'll be raining any minute now. You should come inside.

[The goose god gazes at Muriel down below and falls in love with her, then sends a ray of light down from the heavens, sprouting the flower pot]

Goose God: [romantically] Oh, pure and formless beauty. Oh, light, oh, sky, oh, baby's breath. You have grown solid. You have grown real. You have grown… fat. You have grown real fat, and your name is…

Eustace: Muriel? Muriel!

Goose God: Muriel. If letters be in order, let them be in such order as to spell...Muriel.

Eustace: Muriel! Where's my pliers?

Goose God: I am filled, full, and dizzy. I am…a stuffed goose. [sighs] If I gaze at her longer, I shall be consumed. Has ever a Goose God gazed upon such unfeathered beauty, immortal flesh? Does a Goose God pursue a mortal woman? Does one who calls the clouds home love one who must floss? Does a Goose God love a Muriel? Eh, I'll give it a shot.

---

Courage: One way or another, that goose has got to go.

---

Courage: That goose better not try to take Muriel away. [growls] It's true.

---

Eustace: [regains consciousness, and sees the goose god taking his truck up to the heavens, proposing it as his queen] My truck!

[A few days later… the goose god has sent wedding invitations to the Bagges]

Muriel: Look, Courage. We've been invited to a wedding. The goose and Eustace's truck are going to get married.

[Outside, Eustace is sobbing over the loss of his truck]

Eustace: [heartbroken] I'm nothing without my truck! Come back to me, truck! Come back! [continues sobbing emotionally]

Queen of the Black Puddle [1.9a]

Muriel: [sees Eustace with his head stuck in the bathtub drain] Oh, my. I'm beginning to worry about you, Eustace. Tomorrow, we're off to see the doctor. That's all there is to it.

---

[In order to cheer up Muriel, Courage goes on a dangerous mission to rescue Eustace from the Black Puddle Queen]

Courage: [walks up to the puddle; sighs] The things I do for love. [then notices the puddle is beginning to shrink] Hey, is this puddle getting smaller? It is getting smaller! I better hurry before it closes up!

The Snowman Cometh [1.10a]

Snowman: The first frozen snowman. That's not too shabby.

---

Eustace: That's what I tell him all the time! You stupid dog, you stupid dog. He don't do nothin' right.

Heads of Beef [1.11a]

[Muriel is lying on the sofa with a thermometer in her mouth while feeling really ill]

Eustace: [as his stomach growls] Where's my dinner?! You were gonna make hamburgers!

Courage: [checking Muriel's temperature; moans sadly] Is there a doctor in the house?

Muriel: [weakly] Oh, Courage, you're a dear.

Eustace: Well, I… If you ain't feeding me, I'm going out to get me something to eat.

Muriel: It would be lovely if you could bring me a scone from the sweet stuff bakery.

Eustace: [growls in annoyance] Okay.

Muriel: Courage, could you go along? He always forgets to get the right thing.

Courage: Oh! I know I'm not going to like this.

---

Jean Bon: What would you like?

Eustace: Burger-- Big and juicy!

Jean Bon: One burger-- Big and juicy. [gestures to Courage] What about him?

Eustace: A small one, smallest you got.

---

Eustace: Where's my burger?

Jean Bon: Coming right up!

Courage: Something smells fishy, or my name is Stinky Lulu, and thank goodness, it's not!

---

Jean Bon's Wife: I still wanna sink my teeth into that cute little dog.

Klub Katz [1.11b]

Eustace: No sir. Not getting out of this chair.

---

Muriel: The fresh air, the blue seas, the sky forever.

Eustace: Blah blah blah! Where's my chair?!

---

Eustace: Stupid helicopter dog!

---

Katz: Hey! That's my washing machine!

Eustace: Hey! That's my chair!

The Revenge of the Chicken from Outer Space [1.12a]

Eustace: Get away from me! [goes back to sleep] Stupid dog. [Courage then smacks him repeatedly with Muriel's slipper, off-screen] OWWW! YOU ROTTEN DOG!

---

[Courage and Muriel are sitting on the porch]

Muriel: Oh! There's Eustace with my slipper.

[Eustace, headless and carrying Muriel's slipper, walks towards Courage and Muriel]

Courage: [screams in horror, then stops the iris out from closing] This still shouldn't happen to a dog...? [The iris out closes on his nose] Ow!!

Little Muriel [1.13a]

Newsman: This is the Nowhere Emergency Broadcast System. We interrupt this program with an emergency tornado watch. This is an emergency. Watch for a tornado.

Muriel: Oh, my! A tornado! We better get to the cellar! [finds herself stuck to her chair; grunting] Oh, my! I'm stuck! Courage, I thought you used the quick-drying paint on the chair.

Courage: [reading the can] "Quick-drying Glue?!" Oh, no!

---

Little Muriel: [after Courage makes Macaroni and Cheese] This stinks. I hate it this way.

Courage: What's wrong with it?

Little Muriel: Less cheese. More macaroni. Less macaroni. More cheese! More cheese and macaroni. TOO MUCH MACARONI! Ooh, perfect! I hate macaroni and cheese.

---

Courage: [having enough] Okay, that's it! Go to your room!

Little Muriel: [throwing a tantrum] I don't wanna go to my room! [bawls]

Courage: Don't cry. It'll be okay. Okay?

Little Muriel: Guess what I found. BOOGA! BOOGA! BOOGA!

The Great Fusilli [1.13b]

Fusilli: How! now! brown cow!

Season 2

The Magic Tree of Nowhere [2.1a]

Dr. Vindaloo: Tsk, tsk, tsk. This is the worst case of boli-boli I have ever seen.

Eustace: What?

Courage: No!

---

Eustace: CHOP! CHOP! CHOP! CHOP!

---

Instant Eel: Oh, Danny Boy. The pipes, the pipes are calling.

---

Dr. Vindaloo: Aha! Nothing to worry about... But, there's nothing I can do. [leaves through the front door. Courage yanks on his ears, hops around, and howls in frustration]

Eustace: This is all your fault, dog. You and that rotten tree. Now I gotta order take-out for breakfast. [picks Courage up and boots him out the front door] Stupid dog!

The Curse of Shirley [2.2a]

Muriel: Oh, Eustace, aren't you excited about your birthday party?

Eustace: Ain't gonna be no party.

---

Old Lady: Excuse me, sir, but would you please help me across the street?

Eustace: You got legs, don't you? Help yourself!

---

[Shirley's rain cloud curse on Eustace causes the bed to get all soaking wet while he, Courage, and Muriel are all asleep]

Eustace: [mumbling while sleeping] There ain't no curse.

Muriel: [wakes up, seeing the bed getting soaked; disgusted] Eustace!

Eustace: Huh?

Muriel: The bed's getting saggy. If you can't do away with this curse, you're gonna have to sleep on the roof.

[Eustace is now sitting on the roof outside the house]

Eustace: Bah. Ain't no such thing as curses. [wipes the rain from his glasses] No way, no how. [takes off his glasses and wipes them with a cloth, but is startled by lightning strikes from the cloud, causing his glasses to fly out of his hand and land on the edge of the roof] Hey! My glasses! No! I-I-I can't see! Where?! Where?! [sees a TV antenna] Huh? Muriel? [hallucinates the antenna as a wiry monster, then rubs his eyes] You're not Muriel! [starts wrestling with the antenna as Courage comes up with a blanket] Get off my roof! I don't know who you are! [sees Courage] Huh? Huh? [hallucinates Courage as a giant, sharp-toothed fish, then growls in rage] No solicitors! [charges towards Courage, who screams in fear, and grabs Courage by the throat] Now you get! We don't want any! [throws Courage off the roof]

---

Muriel: [annoyed after Eustace scares away his mother and Dr. Vindaloo during his birthday party] Now see what you went and done, Eustace?! You scared off your guests!

Eustace: Huh?

Muriel: And you're leaving a ring on the floor! Here, stand on this coaster.

Eustace: You can't fool me! [hallucinates Muriel as a monster] You're not Muriel!

---

Shirley the Medium: The stupid one. He's stupid, right?

---

[Eustace sneezes. Muriel puts a thermometer in his mouth. He grumbles]

Muriel: You know, Eustace. You should thank Courage for getting rid of that curse.

Eustace: [takes the thermometer out of his mouth and notices Courage wearing his hat] What you doing with my hat, dog? Bah! [snatches the hat from Courage and puts it on his own head, causing the cloud to reappear] Bah! There ain't no such thing as a curse. [gets struck by lightning] Bah!

Family Business [2.3a]

Basil: Zip your mouth shut, dag. Or I'll be fishing you again, I will.

Courage Meets the Mummy [2.4a]

Muriel: [pouring a cup of tea for Professor Frith and offers it to him] This should make you feel better, Mr. Frith. Now tell us what happened to you, you poor man.

Professor Frith: What's happened to me isn't important. What's important is what might happen to you and what happened thousands of years ago. The clothing in this sack tells the story. [takes the Mayan princess' clothes out of his sack] This belonged to a Mayan princess a long time ago. The princess loved cookies. Each day, the royal baker would whip up a jar full of cookies for the princess. The cookie jar was brought to the princess by her most trusted royal poohbah. And before he would give the cookies, the greedy poohbah would steal cookies from the jar and sell them for his own profit. One day, the baker caught the poohbah and went to tell the princess, but the poohbah got to her first. The poohbah presented the princess with cookie jars that were only half-full, and said the baker was stealing the missing cookies. The princess was outraged, and ordered the baker to have his mouth sewn shut, his eyebrows plucked, and his body mummified. Most unpleasant. [chuckles] That baker is now a centuries-old mummy. And he's risen. And he's seeking revenge. And he's on his way to this very spot at this very moment.

Muriel: Why here? Why us?

Professor Frith: [takes out a scroll from his sack and opens it] Here is an ancient drawing of the princess and the poohbah.

[Eustace and Muriel gasp in surprise, seeing that the princess and poohbah look just them]

Muriel: They look just like we do!

Invisible Muriel [2.4b]

Muriel: [enters the kitchen] Eustace, I'll get to making dinner, as soon as I'm done cooking that batch of my special secret recipe, Blue Ribbon dog food. [Eustace pulls out his tongue and scrubs it with a brush]

---

[Muriel eats her pancakes, completely invisible, visibly showing the chewing]

Eustace: Muriel, close your mouth when you chew.

Human Habitrail [2.5a]

Old Lady Inside Vacuum Cleaner: Let me lay down the ground rules: This is my half of the lint, that's your half of the lint. Remember that and we won't have no trouble.

Mission to the Sun [2.5b]

Eustace: Lousy, stinkin' tube food! [tastes the tube food] Hey, this ain't half bad!

---

Eustace: Stupid space!

Courage the Fly [2.6a]

Di Lung: [after turning Courage into a fly] I don't think so. Supposed to be buffalo. Don't know how, but I go back and work on problem. Should be buffalo...Fly...I don't think so.

---

Courage: I don't know why I'm doing this. But I like it.

---

Eustace: [presses the fly-paper into Muriel's face] Muriel, your face keeps getting in the way! [accidentally rips off her face as it's stuck to the fly-paper] You ruined my good fly-paper!

Muriel: [faceless; threateningly] Eustace, put my face back where it belongs, or it's cold cuts for dinner! [Eustace rips her face off the fly-paper and places it back on her head upside-down; annoyingly unamused] Oh, you are cheeky. [Eustace turns her face back to its right side up position; then bashes him on the head with a rolling pin]

Eustace: OW!!! [dizzily] What did I do?

---

Eustace: Stupid dog-fly!

---

Di Lung: [after turning the general and lieutenant into buffalos] I make you different!

Katz Kandy [2.6b]

Eustace: Stupid water.

---

Katz: Second place. Second place. I'm quite tired of second place. Second place is no place as far as I'm concerned. This year, I will win the Nowhere Sweet Stuff Contest. First prize will be mine.

---

Katz: So good of you to come. I hope you found my jam tasty. [chuckles evilly]

Muriel: What do you want with us?

Katz: You see, dear lady and dog, it's been my misfortune to place second year after year in the Nowhere Sweet Stuff Contest. Sad, isn't it?

Muriel: If it's the secret ingredient in my caramel-coated apples you're wanting, you're out of luck.

Nowhere TV [2.7a]

Le Quack: [finds Courage in the bag after getting a single dollar bill] You pesky little dog. I thought I got rid of you. [grabs him by the throat, choking him] What have you done with le money?! [Courage pokes him in the eyes and runs off] Ouch! Ooh, la, la! [growls]

Mega Muriel the Magnificent [2.7b]

[Courage watches the Computer, possessing Muriel's body, about to launch out of a big cannon on the TV in horror]

Newsman: She's fearless. She's amazing. She's Mega Muriel the Magnificent!

Bad Hair Day [2.8a]

Dr. Vindaloo: I was confused by my submarine.

---

[Muriel is sipping tea as Courage uses tweezers to pull out hair from her legs. Eustace arrives home covered head to toe in hair, laughing]

Muriel: Eustace! What happened to you?

Eustace: [pulls out stacks of money, happily] Money! [starts laughing]

Forbidden Hat of Gold [2.8b]

Muriel: [reading the sign] "Whomever steps inside this place, must vanity and greed erase. For if you're vain, well, that's no good. Signed, all of us who wear a hood. P.S.: We warned you."

Eustace: Gobbledygook.

Muriel: Sounds like people who love themselves and their money more than anything else aren't welcome here.

Eustace: Big deal.

---

Eustace: [coming across the golden hat] It's beautiful! I'd sure look good wearing that hat. [laughs as he reaches his hand for the golden hat, but Muriel smacks it away] OW!

Muriel: Can't you read? [points to a sign, reading…] "Do not touch."

Eustace: Nope. [chuckles and takes the golden hat, ignoring the sign]

[The cave suddenly starts to rumble and crumble]

Muriel: Now see what you went and done, Eustace?

---

Eustace: [After being turned to ashes by the effects of the golden hat] Stupid hat!

The Transplant [2.9b]

Muriel: Oh, you are cheeky. [annoyingly smacks Professor Frith in the face]

---

[Courage has transformed into a kangaroo monster and faces off against Eustace in Paris, France to save Muriel]

Courage: Put Muriel down!

Eustace: Make me!

McPhearson Phantom [2.11b]

[While Muriel folds the last shirt, Courage is relaxing inside a wash basket]

Muriel: Arms in, shoulders back, bend over backwards. Ah, the power of doing housework. [puts the last shirt on top of the three shirts she had already folded. Eustace, wearing a towel, walks into the room. He grabs his shirt that was underneath the three shirts Muriel had folded and pulls it out, causing the three shirts to fall to the floor; annoyed] Eustace.

Eustace: Uh, sorry. You had the pile upside down.

[As Muriel picks up the three shirts, Eustace takes off his towel and starts to put on his shirt. Muriel starts to fold a shirt]

Muriel: Arms in, shoulders back, bend over backwards. Arms in, shoulders back, bend over backwards.

[Eustace starts to button his shirt, but his arms are telekinetically pulled straight down and bended backwards and his back is telekinetically bended backwards. Courage gasps in horror]

Eustace: Muriel, you folded me clothes too tight. What are you trying to do to me?

Muriel: I didn't do anything different, just the usual wash and fluff and fold. Must be the new detergent I'm using.

[Eustace grumbles angrily. He uses his feet to push himself up and walks out while muttering to himself. Courage and Muriel watch on]

---

[While Eustace reads his newspaper, Muriel polishes his shoes]

Muriel: Beautiful. A good shine can make an old woman look young again.

Eustace: [lowers his newspaper] Ain't nothing gonna make you young again. [puts down his newspaper] So just give me my shoes.

Muriel: [gets up and gives Eustace his shoes] Here you are, [Eustace takes his shoes from her] crabby.

Eustace: [puts on his shoes] Eh, who needs them polished anyway? Just gonna get scuffed. Stupid as showering.[Courage is gnawing on an anchor when Eustace's shoes explode] Muriel! What are you trying to do to me? [grabs his leg] Next time you wanna blow up my shoes, take 'em out back!

Muriel: But I shined them just like always. Maybe they've changed the shoe polish formula.

---

[Eustace is standing outside when Muriel comes out with his hat]

Muriel: There it is for you, Eustace. I steamed it and blocked it, like always. [gives Eustace his hat]

[Courage comes outside sniffing]

Eustace: Thanks. [takes his hat from Muriel and puts it on his head, but the two chickens that were inside the hat start pecking on Eustace's head. Eustace runs around screaming in pain]

[Courage and Muriel watch on]

Muriel: Must be something new they're putting in the steam.

---

[Muriel is sitting with Courage on the rocking chair]

Muriel: Some therapist she is. If only we had someone here who could really help.

[Courage gets an idea. He runs upstairs]

---

[Courage is in the attic, typing on the computer]

Computer: You want to be a licensed therapist? A twit like you? [Courage types on the keyboard repeatedly] Okay. Don't get testy. I happen to be certified to certify. Just answer these questions and you'll have your license.

Courage: Mm-hm.

Computer: One: How do you spell, "our time is up, pay me lots of money?" [Courage types on the keyboard repeatedly] There's no Q in Cincinnati. Twerp. Next question: If Johnny has three apples and Davey has two apples, why don't they just shut up and eat?

[Courage is unsure on how to answer the question]

---

[Courage is in the attic]

Computer: Congratulations. You are now a fully licensed therapist. [the printer prints out a therapist license, which Courage takes out and looks at. He runs out] Word of advice. Just keep nodding and don't say anything. And so Western civilization crumbles.

The House of Discontent [2.12a]

Spirit of the Harvest Moon: GET OUT.

Muriel: Well that's not very polite!

Spirit of the Harvest Moon: You didn't let me finish.

Muriel: I'm sorry.

Spirit of the Harvest Moon: It's time to hit the road.

Muriel: Well, that's not much better!

---

Eustace: I'm a farmer! Farmer, farmer, farmer! Ain't stubborn! Ain't, ain't, ain't!

---

Eustace: At least I got arms and legs, you don't even got a neck. Ha ha ha!

Spirit of the Harvest Moon: Get out of my face.

Eustace: Make me.

Spirit of the Harvest Moon: Wait until midnight comes around.

The Sand Whale Strikes [2.12b]

Sand Whale: You're trying to cheat me like you cheated me before, lckett Bagge. You won that accordion off me in a crooked card game a long time ago and I want it back.

Eustace: Naw. I ain't lckett, I ain't got no accordion, and I don't wanna be talking to no whale.

The Tower of Dr. Zalost [2.13]

Dr. Zalost: What's the good of having all the money in the world if it doesn't bring any happiness? And if I'm not happy, no one deserves to be happy.

Season 3

Muriel Meets Her Match [3.1a]

Muriel: I guess the only thing I can see without my glasses is Eustace's big shiny head.

Courage vs. Mecha-Courage [3.1b]

Di Lung: [laughs] I told you I built better dog. Why You No give up?! Dog! You no good, give me up dog! No Good!

Campsite of Terror [3.2a]

Di Lung: Get rich quick! It works REAL great, I did it, and so can you! All you have to do to learn the secret of my success is send me money! Thats right, it's as simple as that, get out your checkbook, credit card and wallet and send them to ME! When I came to this country, three weeks ago, I only had a nickel. Now I own three apartment buildings and a fleet of limousines!

Stormy Weather [3.3a]

Muriel: [comes out of the house, surprised to see that Courage is playing with the Storm Goddess] Oh, isn't that lovely? Courage, you've made a friend. [Courage shakes his head in denial that the Storm Goddess is not his friend] Please, come in and have a cup of tea.

Storm Goddess: I'd love to. [enters the house as Courage moans worriedly] You know, Muriel, the life of a goddess isn't always so heavenly.

Muriel: No, I suppose being a storm goddess isn't easy.

Storm Goddess: Oh, it's just... I've lost my precious dog, Duncan.

Muriel: Oh, my. I know just how you feel. If I ever lost Courage, I don't know what I'd do.

Storm Goddess: Actually, your dog reminds me of Duncan. [takes out a locket and opens it with a photo of Duncan] Isn't the resemblance uncanny?

Muriel: Oh, yes. They look exactly alike.

Storm Goddess: I miss him so much. [sighs sadly]

The Ride of the Valkyries [3.4b]

Eustace: Idiot TV! Talk normal!

Feast of the Bullfrogs [3.7a]

Eustace: Lousy stinkin' frogs! I'm getting me mallet!

So in Louvre Are We Two [3.8a]

Guard: You must not enter le museum now, Madame. It is only five minutes until closing.

Eustace: Good. I'm tired.

Muriel: But I've got to see the Mona Lisa. My mother always said Mona and I were like twins. Don't you agree?

Guard: [groans] You look nothing like the Mona Lisa, and I give you five minutes to go see for yourself. Stupid America.

---

Muriel: [seeing the Mona Lisa on the wall] Look! There she is. The most famous painting in the world. All because of her mysterious smile. I want to get a picture of me and the Mona Lisa.

---

Eustace: Hey, stupid dog. [grabs Courage by the ears and drags him over to the sculpture of Auguste Rodin's The Thinker] Take a picture of me with this idiot. "The Thinker," huh? I know what he's thinking. "How come there's no TV set?"

Night of the Scarecrow [3.8b]

[Courage, Muriel, and Eustace get stuck in a cornfield after leaving a country fair in ending up getting attacked by a flock of crows]

Eustace: Must be stuck in a ditch! [pounds the wheel, grumbling in frustration]

Muriel: Now, Eustace, getting all unhinged isn't going to help. Like my Aunt Gertrude always said... [screams in terror when she sees something coming towards them]

[A black creature appears in the cornfield, groaning, and banging its fists rapidly on the truck's hood]

Eustace: Hey, you! [presses the horn, scaring the creature, revealing to be a scarecrow that was carried by a pack of crows after they fly away, and it lands on top of the hood, causing him and Muriel to scream in fear]

Mondo Magic [3.9a]

Dr. Vindaloo: I am no longer a head of lettuce!

Watch the Birdies [3.9b]

Eustace: Where's my breakfast, woman? I'm starving to death!

---

Eustace: I like to feed the birdies to the cats!

Dome of Doom [3.11a]

Eustace: Food? Food? I need food! Where's my lunch?

Muriel: Right here.

---

Courage: Ingredients: Hornets, Pythons, Piranhas!? OH, NO!

---

Eustace: Want more... food. AAAH! Oh, wicket! Where's my dinner?

Snowman's Revenge [3.11b]

The Snowman: Ah. Tutti frutti.

Season 4

Le Quack Balloon [4.3a]

[Courage is helping Muriel bake Scottish dream cookies while is Eustace is looking everywhere for his glasses]

Eustace: [entering the kitchen; blindsided] Muriel! You seen my glasses?! [whacks the tub of butter out of Courage's hand and it falls on him, covering him in butter]

Muriel: No, I haven't. Did you misplace 'em?

Eustace: [grumbling] Yes, I misplaced them! [bumping into objects] Oww!

Muriel: Courage you better help Eustace find his glasses. Be his guide dog. We wouldn't want him to lose his way.

Eustace: [retorting] Get away from me!

---

Le Quack: Le Quack is back!

---

[Courage and Eustace catch up to Le Quack's hot air balloon as they reach New York]

Eustace: Where are we now?

Farmer Hunter, Farmer Hunted [4.4b]

Eustace: I ain't useless! I'm Eustace!

---

Father Deer: Every hunting season it's the same thing. We can't take it anymore. I'm gonna put an end to our living in fear. I'm going hunting! [holds his gun] A deer's gotta do what a deer's gotta do.

---

Eustace: I'm a deer! Useless the deer!

Muriel Blows Up [4.6a]

Muriel: And now, I have the strangest feeling I'm not going to explode at all. [burps up a bloated Courage, and he lands on the ground with a thud; shrinks to her normal size] Oh, my.

Eustace: Hey! Who's got my carrot?! [Courage belches, laughs, and grows giant-sized; annoyed] You dumb dog.

Courage: Oh, no! [rushes away to Area 51 3/4]

Eustace: Come back here with my carrot! [chases after him]

The Mask [4.7]

Kitty: Dogs are evil.

---

Mad Dog: I take you from a two-bit joint and make you a class act, and you want to make me second rate? If I even SMELL Kitty, I'll bury the two of you!

---

Muriel: Oh, Eustace. I'm sorry for all the terrible things I said.

Eustace: That's okay Muriel, nobody's perfect.

[They embrace]

Muriel: I wonder where Courage has run off to.

Eustace: Who cares?

Squatting Tiger, Hidden Dog [4.8a]

Di Lung: This not acupuncture, this de-boning, I'm taking out your bones.

Muted Muriel [4.8b]

Muriel: I've had it with you not caring what I think or say!

Eustace: They should make a remote that shuts off people!

Muriel: Don't worry, I'm shutting myself off! I'm not speaking anymore, listen to the TV all you want. You won't be hearing from me again! [Courage tries to protest] Sorry, Courage. My voice isn't welcome in this house, so I'm keeping my thoughts to myself.

Eustace: What? I wasn't listening.

---

Eustace: Hey, stupid dog, Muriel talking yet?

Courage: Mm-mm.

Eustace: Well go get her to talk, dog! I wanna know if she's gonna make me breakfast!

Aqua-Farmer [4.9a]

Muriel: Eustace, what took you so long?

Eustace: We had to work out a deal for the rematch. If I lose, you're gonna have to pack up your things and move in with the dolphin, and be his sidekick.

Muriel: [shocked] Oh, dear. [has a thought bubble about living with Jojo as a mermaid]

Courage: [horrified] No!

Last of the Starmakers [4.10a]

[Courage and Muriel watch the mother Starmaker transform into a beautiful lush garden with flowers and bushes as her body disintegrates into the ground after her babies hatched and float into space]

Muriel: How lovely. She's becoming a garden. From making stars above, to making flowers on the Earth. Now that's the mystery of life it is.

Ball of Revenge [4.11b]

Eustace: Courage, Courage, Courage! That stupid dog gets all the good stuff around here! I hate that dumb dog!

Muriel: Oh, don't you fret, Courage. He doesn't hate you. [pats Courage on the head as he whimpers sadly, thinking Eustace hurt his feelings]

Eustace: [walks into the kitchen and picks up the phone] Time for that dog to git... for good! Operator, I'm gonna need a few numbers. [chuckles evilly]

[Later that evening, Courage's enemies: Le Quack, Katz, Cajun Fox, the Weremole, the Black Puddle Queen, and the Clutching Foot are all assembled and gathered in the basement, sitting at a table]

Eustace: [sitting in the head chair] Well, I'm a man of few words. So, let's just get down to the nitty gritty. What are we here for?

Villains: Revenge!

Eustace: [snickers sinisterly] And who are we going to destroy?

Villains: That stupid dog!

---

Muriel: Eustace, what's all the ruckus?

Eustace: What ruckus?

Villains: Destroy the stupid dog!

Eustace: Eh...

Cajun Fox: Lie, man, lie.

Eustace: That's my friends. It's a men's club. And no dogs allowed.

---

[Courage runs down to the basement, sees Muriel above the boiling cauldron, and screams, and the Clutching Foot pins him down with his toes]

Big Toe: Remember us?

Pinky Toe: Yeah, remember us?

[The other villains come forward and glare down at Courage]

Courage: [horrified] Oh, no!

Big Toe: You licked us good, see?

Cajun Fox: Cooked us good, too. Remember that?

Muriel: Oh. What are you gonna do to my Courage?

Big Toe: Now we're gonna put the squeeze on you, see?

---

Muriel: Courage, what big lungs you have.

Cabaret Courage [4.12a]

Di Lung: Watch where ya goin', ya fool!

Remembrance of Courage Past [4.13a]

[Flashback to the first time Courage met Muriel]

Muriel: Oh my. Poor thing, out here all alone... what courage you have. Would you like to come home with me?

[Courage cries in joy]

Muriel: I'll call you Courage, we'll have a grand time.

Cruel Veterinarian: "May I talk with the two of you for a moment? In private?"

Cruel Veterinarian: "I know just what to do with the dog, but I like to have a moment with him, alone."

Cruel Veterinarian: "Ready for the trip? It's your turn now!"

Opening

Narrator: We interrupt this program to bring you...Courage the Cowardly Dog Show, starring Courage, the Cowardly Dog! Abandoned as a pup, he was found by Muriel, who lives in the middle of nowhere with her husband, Eustace Bagge.

Eustace: GAH!

Narrator: But creepy stuff happens in Nowhere. It's up to Courage to save his new home!

[TV turns off]

Eustace: Stupid dog! You made me look bad! [angrily puts on mask] OOGA BOOGA BOOGA!

Courage: AHHHHHHHHH!!!

Cast

• Marty Grabstein
• Thea White
• Lionel G. Wilson
• Arthur Anderson
• Simon Prebble
• Paul Schoeffler
• Billie Lou Watt
• Peter Fernandez
• Arnold Stang

External links

• Courage the Cowardly Dog quotes at the Internet Movie Database