[Igor enters the room carried by a wave of water, holding a tray with a goblet]
Igor: Good morning, sir.
Duckula: And what's good about it, Igor?
Igor: Oh, it's so ghoulishly gloomy, sir. Everything's so dismally dreary. Even the manacles in the dungeon are rusting nicely, me lord.
Duckula: (notices the goblet) Ah, carrot juice! Ha-hey! Just the thing! (takes a gulp, but instantly groans in disgust) That's not carrot juice!
Igor: No, sir. It's a 1963 Yugoslavian Rh negative.
Duckula: Oh, well that's all- AAH! (leaps about, frantically gulping down water from a bucket and quacking wildly)
Igor: (chuckles) Yes, it is a little heady, but a very good year.
Juan Jose etc...: Seize them! Bind them, jab them, prod them, and be generally unpleasant to them! And one last thing!'
Juan Jose etc...: (sweetly) Do you really like-a my boots?
Don Diego: Just because I'm tall and handsome and brave and good and kind and wonderful... I-I-I- have happen to chop up one or two of the villagers into tiny little bits now and again... they dislike me! Ha ha, ha ha... Well, except for the really fat ones. I'm saving them for tonight.
Don Diego: Tonight is a fiesta for all the vampires from all over Spain! There'll be music, and a finger buffet with the real fingers. (evilly) Then - then - we chop up a whole village, then there is bingo to follow!
Duckula: Stop this! Stop this! Stop it, Don Diego! No! I cannot let you do this!
Don Diego: Oh, you don't like bingo? Ok, we play something else. You choose.
Duckula: Well, I wouldn't mind playing... - no listen! I mean, you cannot chop up a whole village! It's not right! I will do anything to stop you.
Don Diego: Anything?
Don Diego: Ahahaha!!! Then tonight, you will fight the horrible bull in all of Spain - El Loco!
Duckula: OK, listen - if I fight El Loco, will you let the villagers go?
Don Diego: I will...I will let bits of them go.
Duckula: Let ALL of them go, or no fight!
Don Diego: I can't even keep the noses?
Duckula: No, no noses!
Don Diego: OK. But remember - El Loco is the most nastiest thing on four legs. He'll ripped up your body, and there'll be bits of you you didn't even know you had. Aha!! Ahahaha!
Duckula: Ha! I'm not afraid of you, Don Diego! OR El Loco! 'Til tonight then! (Don Diego flits off)