Confetti (film)

Confetti is a 2006 British mockumentary film about a collection of soon-to-be married couples competing in a bridal magazine competition about conducting the most original wedding, and the various crises that they face along the way.

Antoni Clarke

• Hello, my name is Antoni Clarke, and I am a bride's best friend. [Pause; wearily] I'm not gay.
• Vivianne, am I going to meet any more mental people today?
• Not everyone wants to get married in a crazy way. Not everyone wants their special day ruined by a gimmick. But some people do.

Vivienne

• [About a prospective bride-to-be in an unlikely bid] She was quite pretty. We could pair her up with someone else.

Dialogue

[To a couple pitching an Elvis-themed wedding]

Vivienne: Do you think that maybe it's been done before?

Elvis Groom-to-be: [Confused] ... No.

---

[To a couple who pitched a train-spotting themed wedding]

Antoni Clarke: I understand that you came here today hoping to win a house; it isn't going to happen. Goodbye.

Trainspotter Groom-to-be: [Slightly indignant] There's three changes between here and Bridport...

Antoni Clarke: Well, I'm sure you fucking loved that. You love a train!

---

Roman Wedding Bride-to-be: Our idea is for an Ancient Roman-themed wedding.

Vivienne: [Delighted] Great!

Roman Wedding Bride-to-be]: It begins with the sacrifice of a pig at the bride's house.

Antoni Clarke: [Exasperated] Fuck me...