Cabaret is a musical based on a book written by Christopher Isherwood, music by John Kander and lyrics by Fred Ebb. The 1966 Broadway production became a hit, inspiring numerous subsequent productions in London and New York, as well as the 1972 film by the same name.
- Fraulein Schneider: [singing] 'When I had a man, my figure was dumpy and fat...So what?' -- Fraulein Schneider
- This is a censored lyric used on the original cast album. The correct completed lyric is:
- When I had a man, my figure was boyish and flat, so what?
- Through all of our years he was so disappointed in that, so what?
- Now I have what he missed and my bosom is full,
- But he lies in a churchyard plot.
- If it wasn't to be that he ever would see the abundance of me,
- So what? 
- Sally Bowles: [singing] 'You can tell my papa, that's alright, cause he comes in here every night, but don't tell Mama what you saw!' -- Sally Bowles
- Sally Bowles: 'I used to pretend I was someone quite mysterious and fascinating. Then I grew up and realized I was mysterious and fascinating'
- Emcee: [on Rosie] 'Rosie is so called because of the color of her cheeks!' [slaps Rosie's bottom]
- Emcee: [on Lulu] 'Oh, you like Lulu, huh? Yeah? Well too bad! So does Rosie!'
- Emcee [on Frenchie] 'You know, I like to order Frenchie on her side. On your side, FRENCHIE! [Frenchie glares at him]...Just kidding.'
- Emcee: [on Texas] 'Yes, Texas is from AMERICA! Mmmhmm. But she's a very cunning linguist!' --Emcee
- Emcee: [on Fritzie] [Fritzie is humping a pole] 'Oh, Fritzie! Would you stop that? Already this week we have lost two waiters, a table, and three bottles of champagne up there like this!'
- Emcee: [on Helga] 'Helga is the baby. I am like a father to her! So when she's bad... I spank her. And she's very very very very very very bad!' [spanks her on each 'very']
- Emcee, Lulu, Bobby [singing] 'Beedle dee dee dee! Two Ladies!'
- Herr Schultz:'At last, someone who cares if I am foolish!'
- Fraulein Kost, Herr Ludwig, the Company: [singing] 'Oh Fatherland, Fatherland, show us the sign. Your children have waited to see! The morning will come when the world is mine! Tomorrow belongs to ME!'
- Fraulein Schneider: [Fraulein Kost has been caught sneaking sailors out of her room] 'All day, sailors in, out, in, out. God only knows what the neighbors think I run--a BATTLESHIP?'
- Fraulein Kost:[Herr Schultz has been caught coming out of Schneider's room] 'Good evening, Fraulein Schneider. I see we have been busy today, ja?'
- Herr Ludwig: [on Schultz]He is NOT a German!'