Burn Notice (TV series)

American television series

Burn Notice (June 28, 2007 – September 12, 2013) is an American television series on the USA Network created by Matt Nix. It follows the life of an ex-spy, Michael Westen, as he attempts to figure out who put out a burn notice against him.

Season 1

Michael: [V.O.] Covert intelligence involves a lot of waiting around. Any meeting, any appointment, you have to show up early, make sure you are not followed; make sure the area is secured; check out the other guy's advance team and see how well he is prepared. It's good trade craft but it's like hanging out in your dentist's reception area 24 hours a day. You read magazines, sip coffee, and every once in a while someone tries to kill you.

Michael: [V.O.] In a fight, you have to be careful not to break the little bones in your hand on someone’s face. Never happens in movies, but in real life a busted hand will get you killed. That’s why I like bathrooms. Lots of hard surfaces.

Oleg: You're real Michael Westen, yes?
Michael: Yeah.
Oleg: Back home, your story Russian Intelligence tells to scare. They say you're one name for many people. Special Operations team. They think one person cannot make so much problems.
Michael: Nope. Just me.

Michael: [V.O.] My mom would have made a great N.S.A. communications operative. Drop me in the middle of the Gobi Desert, hide me on top of the Himalayas, bury me in a goddamn cave on the moon, and somehow, some way, she’d find a way to call me and ask me for a favor. [screams into a pillow]

Madeline Westen: You know you missed your father's funeral... by eight years.
Michael: Well, last time I talked to him he said, "I'll see you in hell, boy," so I figured we had something on the books.

Michael: [V.O.] Thirty years of karate. Combat experience on five continents. A rating with every weapon that shoots a bullet or holds an edge. Still haven't found any defense to Mom crying into my shirt.

Michael: [V.O.] For a job like getting rid of the drug dealer next door, I'll take a hardware store over a gun any day. Guns make you stupid; better to fight your wars with duct tape. Duct tape makes you smart.

[After Michael almost broke a drug dealer's hand.]
Michael: [V.O.] There is a reason spies have a hard time making friends.

Michael: [V.O.] What do you do when an operation goes bad? Not much to do, but smile and try to stay alive.

Sam: [re: Fiona] You sure this is a good idea, you hooking up with her again?
Michael: I'm not hooking up with her, okay? I'm not. I need her for tactical support.
Sam: [laughs] Is that what they're calling it these days? "Tactical support"?

Michael: [V.O.] Southern Nigeria isn't my favorite place in the world to be; it's unstable, it's corrupt, and the people there eat a lot of terrible-smelling preserved fish. There is one good thing about Nigeria, though: it's the gun-running capital of the world, which makes it a bad place to drive a passenger sedan through a crowded market.
Michael: Would you put some pants on?
Sam Axe: What? I work better when I can breathe down there!

Michael: Uh, listen, Fi, now's not the best time...
Sam: [entering] Oh, Jesus, Mike, you didn't tell me she was gonna be here.
Fiona: [rushing at Sam] You cost me a lot of money, you son of a bitch! I've been wanting to talk to you for a long time!
[Michael blocks her path.]
Sam: I cost you? Okay, for starters, what you're talking about never officially happened! Second, you deserved a lot worse than what you got, lady!
Michael: Sam...
[Turning back towards Fiona, he freezes when he sees her with her arm cocked, preparing to hurl a bottle at Sam's head.]
Michael: [V.O.] There's a reason spies don't have a lot of parties. Everybody's got a history with everybody else.

[Sam attempts to disable a car that Fiona supposedly wired to turn off via a cellphone. It explodes.]
Michael: Fiona, you were supposed to stop the car, not blow it into the Everglades! What happened to shorting the ignition?
Fiona: You said disable; it's not going anywhere.

Michael: [V.O.] My mother's understanding of my career changes with what she wants from me. One day, she can name everyone on the National Security Council, the next day, she thinks I work for the post office.

Michael: [V.O.] A hitman is like a plumber, a dentist or a mechanic. Everybody is always looking for a good one.

Michael: [V.O.] Truth is, identity theft isn't hard. A number and an ID is all you need to drain a bank account and return some money to some very surprised retirees. But why stop there? As long as you're stealing someone's identity, why not use it to contact some known terrorist organizations on unsecured phone lines? Why not use it to threaten federal judges and insult the local drug cartel? Most fun I've had in Miami.
Sophie: So we're supposed to stay in here, in the garage, and do nothing?
Michael: Pretty much. It's not so bad as safe houses go. You got a TV at least. I once spent three days in a Riyadh storage facility with nothing but a flashlight and an Arabic celebrity magazine.

Michael: [V.O.] When you go on the run, the first thing you do is lay down tracks in the opposite direction, but that only works if the bad guys find the trail and believe it's for real, which means selling it. You need to put on a little show, make them feel clever. When you make somebody work to get a piece of information they'll believe it that much more because it's hard to get.

Michael: [To Sam] Well, I'll tell you what, if there's a situation that requires showing off your upper body and boozy flirting, you're my guy.

Michael: [V.O.] International conferences attract spies for the same reason hotel bars attract hookers: you can do business and drink for free.

[Madeline is reminiscing about Michael and his father.]
Madeline Westen: I remember what fun you two had always working on cars in the garage.
Michael: Fun? I remember him making me fake a seizure at Mr. Goodwrench so he could steal spark plugs.

[After Fi scares off the hit squad with her Molotov cocktails]
Sam: How many were there?
Fiona: I don't know, four? They took off after cocktail hour.
Michael: Fi, it looks like Fallujah down there.
Fiona: I was half hoping that they'd stick around for a bit. Cara's got quite a liquor cabinet, good for a ten hour siege.

Michael: [V.O.] A drug cartel is a business. If killing a witness to save a valued employee from jail time is the best way to keep making money, they'll do that. If it looks like that employee is testifying to the F.B.I., though, they're just as happy to leave the witness alone and take care of the problem another way.
(Michael notices a Czech assassin stalking him in a bar, and ambushes him with an elbow to the throat.)
Michael: Vitad ton Miami, Kamerad.
[Subtitle: WELCOME TO MIAMI... ASS****]

Michael: You lost my car in a card game.
Nate Westen: Well, I needed the money and you weren't helping me out. Besides, nothing ventured, nothing gained, bro.
Michael: It was a rental car you ventured.

Michael: [V.O.] Spies go to bars for the same reason people go to libraries: full of information if you know where to ask.

Sam: The kid hangs out at a bar on South Beach. We could go look around.
Fiona: Every third guy in a bar will tell you he's a modeling scout.
Sam: Hey, I've used worse lines. And succeeded.

Fiona: Why don't you boys wait outside, and I'll go get Brandon?
Michael: Are you sure? Because we need...
Fiona: Believe me, Michael, if there's one thing I know how to do, it's to get a guy to leave a bar.

Michael: Hey, can I borrow your car?
Sam: Where ya going?
Michael: Uh, just to the store to get some yogurt.
Sam: [chuckles] Come on, Mike. Fiona calls, whisper whisper, all of a sudden you gotta have yogurt? What's the big secret?
Michael: No big secret, just looove yogurt.

Sam: If I lose my pension, you're gonna be changing my diapers when I'm 95 and drooling.
Michael: Sam, I would never let that happen. I'd smother you with a pillow first.

Sam: What happens then? People start shooting. We lose, we're dead. We win, we've got three dead bodies, a traumatized girl, and spots on the F.B.I.'s Most Wanted List.
Fiona: I've been on plenty of those lists. It's not so bad.

Carl Wilhelm: "Pimped"? I'm not a pimp.
Michael: [cheerfully] You say "tomato", I say "pimp."

[Jan, choking and gasping, fumbles for an epi-pen, but Michael appears and plucks it out of his hand.}
Michael: Neat, what's this? What's this? Oh, neat! How do you say that word? "An-a-phyl..." Anaphylactic, what does that word mean, Jan?
Jan: (gasping) Can't breathe...
Michael: You can't breathe? Oh! Is this when your throat closes up from allergies, like from pollen? 'Cause that's what I get. Or maybe it's the crushed peanuts I sprinkled on your hot dog. (Jan's eyes widen) Yeah, I talked to the chef at the hotel. Seems you're allergic to peanuts. So now that you've shot me and I hold your life in my hands, I think it's time we talked.
Nate: No wonder I got my ass kicked.
Fiona: Oh, you were lucky. The old guy had a Desert Eagle 9mm with combat grips.
Michael: Ex-Mossad.
Nate: What do you mean, like Israeli spies?
Fiona: Sure. Every other retired spook is an arms dealer. Not a bad gig, if you can stand ex-spooks.
[Michael shoots her a look.]

Jake: I can't believe this... I went to a goddamn basketball game with these people! The seats weren't even that good!
Michael: Well, the next time you accept a bribe, I'd hold out for courtside.

Sam: Hey, Mikey. When you read this guy's profile you're gonna kiss me.
Michael: I am not gonna kiss you, Sam.
Sam: Look, I'm not saying I'm gonna like it. I'm just saying you're gonna kiss me.

[Fiona is making homemade C-4.]
Michael: How's it coming, Fi?
Fiona: Dangerous, unstable. Remind you of anyone?

Jake: They're expecting my answer today. What do I say?
Michael: Well, since they're probably planning on killing you if you say anything else, I'd suggest, "Yes."

[Nate hugs Michael and walks away.]
Madeline: Now you see Michael, you're too hard on him. I mean, he can be so sweet. I just want us to be a family.
Michael: I know, Mom, I know. [Michael pauses and then looks up.] He just stole my wallet. [runs out]

Sam: Mike, I saved your ass at the warehouse, the least you could do is have some decent beer in the fridge.
Michael: Next time you plan on saving my ass, tell me before I go to the store.
Michael Westen: [V.O.] Getting information out of someone who doesn't want to give it up is all about upsetting the target's emotional balance, impairing their judgment. Fear is good for that; anger is not bad either.

Michael: [V.O.] Anyone who has handled large amounts of cash can tell you it's one of the toughest things in the world to move. It's heavy and dense; dead weight. If it's on fire, of course, that complicates things further.

Michael: [V.O.] As a rule, spies don't like dealing with cops. Covert ops are illegal by definition. If they were legal they wouldn't need to be covert.

Michael: [V.O.] You can tie up a lot of resources by keeping a bugged phone line open. As long as it's open they're supposed to keep listening. Say a few cryptic things now and then and they'll be stuck in their little van trying to figure out what the hell you're doing.

Fiona: Honestly, I don't know why they bother. They should just put a bullet in your head and be done with it.
Michael: Apparently I'm more valuable alive than dead. But I'm sure they'll take it under advisement.
Michael: [V.O.] Military firebombs are typically white phosphorus or chlorine trifluoride. These are remarkably effective, but they are also unstable, lethally toxic, and hard to find at the grocery store. The main ingredient in a homemade firebomb, on the other hand, is Styrofoam. A military demolition expert can put something together in a few hours. An IRA trained guerrilla can do it in twenty minutes... give or take.

Michael: [V.O.] In any new job there's always friction with your co-workers. They are wondering if the boss likes the new guy better, if he's going to make them look bad... In some jobs that can get you a dark look in the break room; in other jobs that can get you a bullet in the back of the head.

Michael: [V.O.] In intelligence work, surveillance is called coverage. It's like basketball; you can run zone defense or man-to-man. Man-to-man is risky; follow someone too long and they're going to get suspicious. Zone is usually the way to go. Stay put and let targets come to you. Less obvious, easier on the feet... and you can catch up on your celebrity gossip.

Fiona: You have always had a problem with my work. I have always supported you.
Michael: I'm helping people; you're running guns! Big difference!

[Michael and Fiona are in their car being chased by cops.]
Michael: Do you have guns in the trunk, Fi?!
Fiona: A few semi-automatics, yeah. I got a deal, Michael. This guy was selling Browning 9mms for 200 bucks a piece.
Michael: You have unregistered weapons in a stolen car, Fi!
Michael: [V.O.] Clandestine meetings are never fun to arrange. It's a big part of the job for a covert operative but it's never pleasant. It's not so much the fear of death that bothers you, it's driving to the meeting with a bag over your head... Sometimes they wash the bag, sometimes they don't.

Michael: Next time Lawrence, go limp. It's really hard to drag a human shield.

Barry: Name's Cristo. Like Madonna, the whole one name thing.
Sam: Like Charo.
Barry: Sting.
Sam: Fergie.
Barry: Pelé.
Sam: Spider-Man.
Barry: Liberace.
Sam: ...Crap, I can't think of any more.

Michael: [V.O.] The thing about security is that the very things that protect you can be turned against you by someone who knows what he's doing. It's tough to compromise a well thought-out security system, but making someone think you can compromise it, well, that's much easier. Take surveillance cameras, for example: you can disable one by shooting a laser at it and overloading the light sensitive chip. Cheap, easy, and exactly the sort of thing a sophisticated criminal gang with lots of resources would do. Leave around some tell-tale signs of surveillance like cigarette butts, a forgotten camera lens cap and the more security there is, the more likely they are to think they've got a very serious problem. Even the security team itself can be an opportunity. The more employees you have, the more you have to worry about them. Deliver some vague threats and a few hundred bucks to a security guard. If he's honest he'll tell his boss, who then wonders who wasn't so honest. For the cost of a nice dinner you can get a whole security team canned.

Fiona: I know a few Iranians who are coming into town.
Michael: Oh, let's avoid people who use "Michael Westen" and "jihad" in the same sentence.
Michael: [V.O.] Rescuing a hostage isn't about battering rams and guns. Charge through a door with a gun and chances are the person you're trying to save will be the first one lying on the floor dying of acute lead poisoning. So you come up with alternatives: ingredients from the local pharmacy, mixed with aluminum foil, powdered in a coffee grinder will make a serviceable flash grenade that will stun anyone for a good 20 feet. Thermite is another handy tool: with a surface temperature of a thousand degrees, it's used to weld together railroad ties. It will make pretty short works of most locks, too.

[Michael and Nick are sitting in a car finalizing a plan.]
Michael: So you understand? You pick up the package and walk away. Got it?
Nick: Yeah.
Michael: You don't look at us, you don't talk to us, you just walk out with the video. Fiona and I will be watching to see if the kidnappers have someone there and Sam will follow in the car if he sees anyone leave.
Nick: Okay, so I walk to the car.
Michael: No, Nick; focus. You just walk away.
Fiona: You pick up the package and you leave like we're not even there.
Nick: But wait, you will be there, right?
Michael: Yes, we will be there. Okay, go ahead. [Nick tries to get out but the door is locked.] Unlock it first.

Michael: [V.O.] The thing about doubling anyone is that the more they do for you, the deeper they get. The deeper they get, the more you can make them do. Great if you're running them, but hard on the source. The suicide rate is... above average.

[Fiona is threatening Lucio with a taser.]
Michael: [V.O.] The art of turning someone into a double agent is delicate. The target has to be put into a fragile psychological state.
Lucio: Get this crazy bitch away from me!
Michael: [V.O.] Fortunately, fragile psychological states are a specialty of Fiona's.

Lucio: Now I have to check in with Reyes. I'm already late, he's going to know that something is wrong.
Michael: Fine, call him. You broke your foot walking down the stairs at the mall, you forgot to call.
Lucio: (confused) Broke my foot? I didn't break my foot.
[Fiona stomps on Lucio's instep, cracking bone. Lucio screams.]
Michael: There you go.

Sam: He heard that she had a boyfriend who could help.
Michael : He heard that she had a boyfriend that could help.
Sam: I was vague. I said I was a freelance superhero Robin Hood kinda guy.
Michael: That's vague.
Michael: [V.O.] Facts are the hallmark of a good false identity. It is harder to create history than it is to alter it. Plus, the more truth to your lie, the easier it is to remember.

Fiona: Evelyn comes along and she's attractive, sweet, needy. Don't deny it.
Michael: Fine.
Fiona: Isn't it interesting she turned out to be who she turned out to be. What shall we make of that?
Michael: You made your point, Fi.
Fiona: Did I?
Michael: Yep, you did.

Michael: [V.O.] A basic rule of covert ops is let someone else do your dirty work. Let someone else find the guy you want to kill. It's a great technique... as long as you're not the someone else.

Michael: [V.O.] Just because there are no windows or doors doesn't mean there are no exits. The thing to look for is an air conditioner unit, that's where the wall is weakest. Also, people watch doors; they don't watch air conditioners.

Sam: Here ya go, Doug: my lucky vest.
Michael: It'll look great over my shirt.
Doug: Thanks.
Sam: It's a little worn, but it'll do the trick.
Doug: Are these bullet holes?
Sam: Yeah, I broke it in for ya. Just think of it like a seat belt.
Fiona: Yeah, a seat belt that smells of bourbon and Old Spice.
[Sam and Fiona are doing recon at a gay bar.]
Sam: How do you want to handle this?
Fiona: Well, I think the balls are in your court.

Michael: [V.O.] The truly paranoid don't go to meetings themselves. They use a cut out, someone unrelated to them hired to show a pre-arranged sign and deliver a message. The sign is something innocuous but hard to miss. My favorite is a tourist guide for Madison, Wisconsin. No one will look at it twice, but unless I'm in the Midwest, I know they are waiting for Michael Westen.

Nate: Hey bro, you look tired.
Michael: Hey Nate, you look clean. You shaved the ferret off your face.

Fiona: Ah, the mating dance of the spy. It's a wonder spies ever get close enough to kill each other, isn't it?

[Sam walks into Michael's house with a bucket of fried chicken and Michael pulls his gun.]
Michael: That'll kill you, you know?
Sam: [referring to the gun] Yeah, no kiddin'.
Michael: No. The bucket of trans fat you've got there.
[Michael and Fiona are standing over a large cache of weapons, preparing for an operation.]
Michael: If we need more than this, we're doing something very wrong.
Fiona: Or something very right.

Michael: [V.O.] There are some fights you just can't win. A force can be so overwhelming that no tactical approach in a fight is going to lead to a victory worth having. When you can't win in a fight, sometimes you have to settle for making sure that if you lose, everyone loses. It works for nuclear weapons; it works for me.

Michael: [V.O.] For any operative, stashing weapons is second nature after a while. Spies hide guns like squirrels hide acorns. You never know when you'll need some firepower, or where you'll be when you need it.

Michael: And if you don't do what I want, then I will rain hell down upon you until one of us is dead, and I am really, really good at raining down hell. I want an answer tomorrow.
[Michael gets up and leaves]
Carmello: Who are you?
Michael: I'm Michael Westen. I used to be a spy.

Michael: [V.O.] When you work in intelligence, you get used to the idea that some information is worth risking everything for. You sign up for the lifestyle, or the chance to serve your country, or the millions of frequent-flier miles. But finally, it all comes down to putting your ass on the line to learn something.

Season 2

Michael: [V.O.] A great way to get people talking about their security is to put them on the defensive. Accuse a guy of having bad locks and before you know it he's telling you where his motion detectors are.

Michael: [V.O.] When you're claiming to be someone you're not, the key is commitment. You've got to sell it like your life depends on it, because sometimes it does. One reason to work with the same people is you know each other's moves, so if you shoot at your team in the middle of an operation, they know to go with it.

Michael: [V.O.] Private military companies are best known for their bodyguard work. It's a big part of their business, but it's not the only part. For a big enough check, they'll rain hot lead down wherever you want. It's not work that attracts service-with-a-smile types.

Michael: Seems the people who burned me want me for a job. For now, that's all I got.
Sam: A job? Does it pay?
Michael: More of a "we'll kill you if you don't do it" type of thing.
Sam : Ah. Never liked those.

Michael: [V.O.] When you work as a spy, it's easy to think of people as assets. Resources to accomplish a goal. Because you don't have a personal relationship with an asset. You don't care about an asset. You don't miss the scent of an asset when she leaves the room.
Michael: [V.O.] If you wanna make a friend, solve a problem for them. No problem to solve? Create one.

Michael: That stalker happens to have a MAC-10 in his jacket! Oh— you knew, didn't you?!
Sam: Mike, look, I did a little pre-scouting; I knew he was packing, but I didn't know he had a MAC-10. I thought it was, like... a regular gun.

Michael: [V.O.] Most people think distracting a group of guys is best done by a beautiful woman. The problem with beautiful women is people want them to stick around, which can cause a lot of problems. Obnoxious guys, they just want to get rid of.

Raul: She loves me more than her own life.
Michael: That's... a lot.

Michael: Fi, get me a sniper rifle and some C4.
Fiona: Oh, I like where this is going.
Michael: Mom, I gotta get to work, actually. Uh, what is it you need?
Madeline: Well, I can't find my salad spinner.
Michael: That is tragic.

Fiona: Zeke is one careful con-man. He's security conscious, he's smart... smooth, too, in a cheesy, Sam kind of way.
Sam: Hey, smooth is smooth, baby.

[Michael is undercover when his male mark approaches him.]
Michael: Friend, you're ruinin' my ratio. I have a good ratio goin' on, I got four ladies to one Davis. Four-to-one, I like that.

Waseem: [quoting from Michael's note] "I will be wearing a white shirt and..." [laughs] This word right here? It is a kind of... spicy goat cheese.
Michael: I was trying to say "black pants". My Urdu's a little rusty.
Waseem: At least you got the name of the restaurant right.

Michael: [V.O.] To win a negotiation you have to show you're willing to walk away. And the best way to show you're willing to walk away... is to walk away.
Michael: [V.O.] Get your hands on any classified document worth having, chances are it's going to be redacted, which makes reading it a lot like watching a movie on an airplane: all the juicy parts are missing but you still get the basic idea.

Madeline: Do you know what his first word was? It was "Michael".
Michael: It was "juice"; I was there, his first word was "juice".
Madeline: True, but he was looking at you when he said it.

Sam: "Daddy"?
Fiona: Bet you never thought you'd hear me call you that.

Michael: [V.O.] One of the hardest things to do in a fight is to make it look like you're trying to kill someone without doing any permanent damage. They don't teach any half-moves in combat training. There are moves designed to kill and maim as efficiently as possible. If those are off limits, one option is open your fist right before a punch lands. Painful, but the force is distributed. Another showy option is a kick to the shoulder. You might break a rib or two; but if you aim right, nobody is going to the morgue.

Michael: [V.O.] A fight is one of the quickest ways to tell if someone isn't who they say they are. If you say you are Russian but fight like an American, consider your cover blown, which means you better know Sambo, the mixed martial art of Russia. Of course, you also have to win the fight; a great cover ID doesn't help much if you're dead.
Michael: [V.O.] A criminal cover ID isn't just about a new name and phone number; it's about fitting into a culture with its own rules and hierarchies. It's a world where bank robbers are the rock stars, con artists are the snobs, car thieves are the blue-collar guys, and safecrackers are the artists.

[Veronica asked Sam to marry her and Sam seeks Michael for advice.]
Michael: Do you love her?
Sam Axe: She could be the one.
Michael: Then say yes.
Sam: It's complicated.
Michael: [slowly] Then say no.
Sam: [sarcastically] You're a good friend, Mike.

[To escape detection by a security guard, Michael clings to the edge of a rooftop]
Michael: [V.O.] Making yourself invisible when you need to is a crucial skill for a covert operative; it sounds exotic but it's not like there's a super-secret move they teach you at spy school that allows you to vanish into thin air. Often it's just a matter of quick thinking, fast feet, and strong fingers.

Michael: [V.O.] Tailing a trained operative requires a number of time consuming preparations: everything from acquiring a vehicle they can't recognize or trace to familiarizing yourself with all the local traffic patterns. Of course, since you can never be sure who's a trained op, there's always the chance you'll take all those precautions just to follow a secretary back to her cubicle.

Michael: [V.O.] When you work in intelligence, there's no bigger slap in the face than a picture of yourself in the middle of an operation. It's send a clear message: we're one step ahead of you; we're in control; we own you. Mylar balloons and a bottle of champagne, that's just twisting the knife.
Michael: [V.O.] The interior locks in an office suite are usually low-end; just there to keep white-collar workers from stealing coffee cups. File cabinet locking bars, on the other hand, are a more serious security measure. Their main vulnerability is that they depend on people's faith in padlocks. People have too much faith in padlocks.

Madeline: Uh, Sam, didn't you forget something? [Madeline hands him a number of bullets] I found them in your pants. I heard them rattling around in the washing machine when I was doing your laundry.
Sam: Yeah, 9 mm. Uh, hey, err, I don't know what to say.
Michael: I'd say nothing. Nothing's good. Go with nothing.

Michael: [V.O.] Sometimes, when you meet a new operative, it's a good idea to open with an aggressive move. You learn about people when you make them play defense: their reflexes, weaknesses, how they handle themselves under pressure. And even if they are able to counter, it never hurts to know how far they're willing to go.

Michael: [V.O.] When meeting a covert operative for the first time, the arrangements can tell you a lot: if they give you a map and a photo, they trust you; a place and a time, they want to check you out before they make contact; a cryptic clue like "tidy pelican", they've just got an irritating sense of humor.

Victor the Wrangler: I don't like your field tactics.
Michael: I don't like your whining. Are you gonna pout all night?
Seymour: [motions to his bodyguard] Fiona? Do me a favor, keep Jackass company. Shouldn't be hard, he's attracted to shiny objects.

Seymour: You wanna be a badass, you gotta eat healthy!

[Sam and Virgil, Michael's houseguest, are talking to Michael on the phone.]
Virgil: Listen, I didn't pack enough underwear, so I borrowed a set of your boxers: the blue ones with the stripes.
Michael: [visibly horrified] They will never fit you; stay out of my closet.
Virgil: They're a little snug down under, but I got all packed in. 'Preciate it.
Sam Axe: Mike, be glad you didn't have to see that.

[Michael stops a soccer ball headed in his direction.]
Boy: Kick it! Kick it!
[Michael kicks the ball towards the boy.]
Marcela: Hey, no ball on the sidewalk.
Michael: He started it.

[Michael and Virgil find a stash of stolen drugs in Feldman's golfing store.]
Michael: [laying a series of photographs on the counter] Quite a clientele. Banker... Superior Court Judge... We thought we'd mail each of these people a photograph of himself walking out the door of this shop, in one of these lovely handsome frames...
Feldman: All right, just stop it! I got a call about the drugs. I sell Viagra, Vicodin and tranqs, what am I gonna do with a million dollars' worth of anti-virals?
Virgil: Who is this guy anyway?
Feldman: His name's Gerard, he's a total psycho.
Michael: You are gonna call Gerard, you are going to tell him you have a buyer for his drugs.
Feldman: No, I can't do that, that's insane...
Michael: What will the neighbors think? They've been living next to a... [shouts toward the door of the shop] DRUG DEALER!
Feldman: Shh, shh, shh!
Michael: "He seemed so nice..."

Michael: [voice-over] For certain types of criminals, partying hard serves an important management function. You can keep an eye on your employees during the off-hours, and keep them spending money, so they're hungry for the next score.

Michael: [V.O.] Dealing with a trained operative is like playing chess with a master. Dealing with criminals, on the other hand, is like playing checkers with a three-year-old: they like to change the rules.

[Michael pretends to shoot Virgil, who falls off a boat into the ocean.]
Michael: [V.O.] Navy SEALs are trained to hold their breath for 3-5 minutes underwater. If you're an ex-Navy SEAL, then you probably still have the chops, but there's only one way to find out.

Michael: If the devil had a name, it'd be "Chuck... [whispering] Finley"!
Michael: [V.O.] Spies make great neighbors; they're polite, they keep the lawn trim, and they never crank up the music at night. They don't stand out, because they don't want to be found. So if you're hunting for a covert operative and all you've got to go on are the names of a few dozen suspects, you're out of luck... unless you know where to look.

Michael: Right now, I've got to do a job.....with Larry.
Sam: Larry? Dead Larry? [laughing] Oh, man, I hated that guy!
Michael: He's back.
Sam: Ok, I hate him present tense. He's a bad influence Mike, don't tell me you're working with him?
Michael: No, I'm not working with him, I'm working against him.
Sam: Well in that case, can I help?

Larry: Wow. Been a while, been a while. And you look... great.
Sam: You too, Larry. Very youthful. Still drinking the blood of children?

[Larry, an ex-spy, calls to check in with Michael.]
Sam: [about Larry] Just "checking in"? He's got a weird thing for you.
Michael: It's because he doesn't have any friends.
Sam: That's because he's killed most of them, Mike.

[Michael and Campbell, Fiona's boyfriend, are meeting for the first time.]
Campbell: Fiona tells me you're a soil scientist.
Michael: Yes, yes, I love my dirt.

Fiona: Are you just trying to keep me away from Campbell?
Michael: Who?

Michael: [voice-over] It doesn't matter if you're trying to take out a dump truck or a moped. Every vehicle has three points of vulnerability: the driver, the engine, and the tires. A can of paint across the windshield can blind the driver. A 50-millimeter cannon can take out the engine. But neither will guarantee that the truck won't swerve into oncoming traffic. But if you force a dump truck's front tires off the road, then you drastically reduce its maneuverability. Of course, getting a dump truck's tires off the road is much more difficult than it sounds, and a hell of a lot more dangerous.

Larry: You know, the last guy who cost me a bunch of money didn't tell me about it with a smile on his face.
Michael: Larry, you're looking at it all wrong. I didn't cost you a bunch of money, I saved you a lot of hassle. This way, you're clean and you don't have to kill four or five people.
Larry: Four or five people, what is that?
Michael: Well, that is something.
Larry: If you say so, Michael.

[While Sam checks his pistol in the back of Campbell's ambulance.]
Campbell: [sarcastic] So... you're a soil scientist, too?
Sam: Oh, yeah. Big-time.

Michael: [V.O.] Covert Operatives try to avoid assuming other peoples identities whenever possible. There's just too many pitfalls when you're dealing with someone your new identity has corresponded with. What have they said? What have they been told? What have the agreed to? Of course, it helps if the person you're deceiving is terrified of the person you're pretending to be.

Therapist: And that's why I like to say that trust is a bridge, and it needs a strong foundation, and you can't build a bridge out of pain and fear, can you? [He nudges Michael awake.] Can you, Michael?
Michael: [sleepily] Uh, no, because that would make it, um, structurally unsound.

Michael: [V.O.] Spend a career in covert ops and you're going to know some bad people. You'll work with them, you'll live with them, you might even trust your life with them. But none of that makes them your friend. It can't. Because one day, you might have to end them.

[repeated line]
Larry: Some people live, some people die.
Michael: [V.O.] Surveillance is the leading cause of weight gain among operatives.

Michael: [V.O.] There's an art to drinking without getting drunk. Start with a lot of ice to dilute the alcohol; order a new round before you're done so your half-full drink gets taken away, and of course, spill.

Michael: [V.O.] Most people think snipers like to shoot from ledges. Fact is, the best sniper position is inside a room through an open window: it hides the shooter, masks the report of the supersonic round, and makes the muzzle flash impossible to see.

Michael: You know me, good little soldier.
Michael: The enemy of my enemy could be my friend.
Michael: Revenge is a waste of time.
Fiona: So is watching television and eating candy, but you do it because it feels good.

Michael: [as "Johnny" while Fiona empties a bottle of vodka onto a bar] Miami...it's humid. Plus...your place is on fire. [Fiona lights the vodka]
Fiona: If we looked for everyone who tried to kill you, we'd do nothing else.

Michael: Now, I just need help tracking someone down, Seymour. That's it.
Seymour: You are such a badass. It's kind of awesome. You need my help? Okay. One condition.You got to teach me some of these moves.
Michael: Sure.

Seymour: Don't argue with destiny. It will kick your ass.

Fiona: As stimulating as all this is, I still don't see why you called me over here, Michael.
Michael: It always helps to bounce ideas, Fi.
Sam: Uh, I'm gonna grab another beer... and, uh, drink it on the balcony.
Agent Jason Bly: This would make a good Michael Westen story; if people were allowed to tell Michael Westen stories.

Tom Prescott: Unbelievable

Madeline: Michael, what are you doing?
Michael: [Removing a file folder from the stove] I left something in here.
Madeline: You just assumed I was never gonna broil anything?
Michael: Well, I've been right so far.
Claude Laurent: I have this, too. It is a letter from the Interamerican Court of Human Rights. We use it to make him come back to Haiti and stand trial. Duman was an official in Haiti. Veronique spoke out against him. He had her put in prison, and then he had her killed.
Sam: (examining the letter, while holding a large saltwater fish in his arms) Uh, Mr. Laurent, this is not going to work in an American court.
Claude: Who is this man with the fish?

Michael: (v.o.) Spend enough time in international hotspots, and you learn that a lot of the worst monsters on earth are just spoiled rich kids. Mass murderers come in many shapes and sizes, but they tend to drink the same brands of champagne.

Sam: Mike, nothing worth doing is easy, and nobody loves easy more than me, but it's true.

[Sam interrupts Lane and Harris while they are surveilling an old woman.]
Sam: Oh, wow. She looks dangerous.
Agent Harris: Cute, Sam. You know you're interfering with a federal investigation?
Sam: What is she, like, 80? Did she steal somebody's dentures?
Agent Lane: It's a racketeering case. Biggest drug-smuggling family in South Florida.
Sam: Oh, is she the boss?
Agent Lane: ...Boss's grandmother.
Sam: Ho-ho, boy! You should check the film speed in that camera, because at the rate she's moving, you don't want to miss a thing.

Michael: (v.o.) Spend time with corrupt, homicidal, Third World political figures and you hear a lot of self-pity. What kind of man throws his political enemies in prison and tortures them to death? Usually it's a guy who feels so sorry for himself that he feels justified doing anything. Killers, by and large, are whining losers. But that doesn't make them any less dangerous.

[Madeline wants Michael to come down to the police station and look at mug shots of known burglars in the area.]
Michael: Uh...
Madeline: Michael, what is so important that you couldn't do that with me?
Michael: I'm helping a man find justice for his murdered daughter.
Madeline: ...Well, if you need any help with that job, you let me know.

Madeline: Did you catch your guy? The guy that killed the girl?
Michael: Yeah. Yeah, I did.
Madeline: (beams) Good for you, sweetheart.
Fiona: It's late, I should be going.
Michael: Wait, Fi.
Fiona: Whatever you're going to say... it was in the past.
Michael: It is, and it isn't. Sam and I worked because we were the same. She knew I lied to people. She loved it. She did the same thing. It was easy. And then I met you... It was different. It was never easy. You knew a side of me she never did. And I left her... because, you don't marry someone when you love somebody else.
[Michael closes his eyes, breathes deeply, and walks away.]

Michael: You slept in this morning. Soon this will all be over and you can go home and sleep in your own and stop pretending to sleep in mine.
Madeline: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been eavesdropping last night... I didn't hear everything...
Michael: It's OK, Mom. I don't give you much choice. I'm sorry.
[Michael turns to leave]
Madeline: Michael, you picked the right girl. I just hope you're not waiting for this one to propose too!
Victor: We gotta talk, big guy.

Fiona: [having just shot and killed Carla] Finally.

Season 3

Michael: Just because you can escape, doesn't mean you should.

Fiona: Third degree burns prevent acne but it doesn't mean you set your head on fire.

Madeline: [To Michael's friend Harlan who has just shown up at the house] So. Harlan. Tell me about yourself. What do you do? Do you destroy houses, too?
Fiona: Patricia, I want you to try something. It's a relaxation exercise I do in situations like this. I want you to close your eyes and breathe deep. Picture a peaceful mountain stream, can you do that? Now picture yourself drowning the kidnapper in the stream. You're taking a rock from the stream and raising it above your head, and with tremendous force you're bringing—
Michael: Fi!

Detective Paxson: Well, if you get the urge to destroy evidence, stop by; we'll be waiting for you.
Fiona: Was that flirting or does she hate you?
Michael: I am not her type.

Madeline: So what you're saying is, Michael's missing his own birthday party?!
Fiona: He's busy!
Madeline: Busy. Busy being shot at or busy getting blown up?! Doesn't he ever take a day off? ...I mean, you know, a little consideration is all I'm asking! I'm making an effort, so should he!
Fiona: He seems to be making progress.
Madeline: Don't fool yourself, honey. Loving Michael is always trench warfare.

Fiona: Getting shot sounds noble until it actually happens to you. Don't volunteer for it unless it's absolutely necessary.

Michael: [Voiceover] To tail someone, you need both skill and instinct. You need skill because the driving is tough; you can't get too close and you can't drift too far away. You can't go too fast or too slow. You need instinct because every turn, every lane change, every bridge raises the risk of being seen. Anyone can be trained to follow a car, but it takes good instincts to know when it's time to stop following.
Brennen:One more thing. While you're in there, phone a friend, write an email, update your facebook status. I honestly don't care, as long as you remember what really matters here. I don't get what I want, and your brother dies.

Brennan: You're not this good. Nobody is this good!
Michael: Yes, I am.
Fiona: So, Randall's off to party in Cancún with my client's money.
Michael: Look at the bright side, Fi: you weren't killed.
Fiona: Oh, please. If a nuisance like Randall can kill me then I deserve it.

Michael: [Voiceover] When you're being followed by the police, it's important to remember that having cops around is a problem for criminals, but it's an even bigger problem for a detective trying to remain inconspicuous on a stakeout.

Michael: [Voiceover] Finding a way into a criminal organization is about observing social dynamics. You start with a target. You're looking for just the right person to approach. People in the inner circle are usually too tough to go after. Anyone with real power is bound to be cautious. Drivers and bodyguards are easier, but they usually don't have real access. You want someone with enough juice to be hungry for more; someone desperate to make a move. In short, you're looking for a frustrated middle manager.

Michael: [Voiceover] To the educated eye, a prison tat tells a story: where you did time, why you did time, and who you did it with. It's a little like a job resumé for criminals.
Sam: You ask me, there's something wrong with the world when we don't hang traitors anymore. It doesn't seem right.

Michael: Why can't you be with me on this?
Fiona: Talking to you is like talking to Spencer. You're both so focused on one thing it clouds everything else. It's a crazy way to live, Michael.
Michael: I am like Spencer. We both see the world in a certain way and we both have skills to make it a better place. That's not a bad thing. I don't want to keep talking about this, so let me be straight with you. This job, what we just did, saving American lives. This is the type of work I was made for, Fi. It's what my old job gave me the chance to do every single day, so no. Getting back in isn't just a way to survive to protect the people I love. It's what I want. And if you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself.
Fiona: If that's what you want. I'll be with you. I'll be with you.
Michael: Wow. That's like two days worth of yogurt.
Fiona: Either that's a brilliantly disguised bomb or somebody knows the way to your heart.

Fiona: I know a guy, goes by Beck. He might be able to help. He's made a lot of money for some very powerful people over there. If there's a Ukrainian in town, he'll be able to fill you in.
Michael: Based in Miami?
Fiona: Mmhmm. Started as local gangster, went big time. He hijacks cargo and ships it. Like FedEx, the Kalashnikov set. He's about as connected as a Miami hustler who can't speak Russian can get.
Michael: Think you can get me a meeting?
Fiona: You might not want me as your go-between. I may have intercepted a couple of his shipments once. Sparkling new P-90s, Michael. They deserved a good home.

Madeline: Sam, let me remind you you're sleeping in my guestroom. All right, you call me or God as my witness I will smother you in your sleep.
Sam: All right, all right! We'll call!

Sam: That guy is more afraid of Checik than he is of us. We're going to have to squeeze him harder.
Fiona: If by squeeze you mean choke...
Sam: He can't talk if he can't breathe, Fi.
Fiona: He can whisper. I have good hearing.
Fiona: You don't even know this Strickler. What makes you think he has this kind of clout?
Michael: Well that's what I need to figure out. Can we talk about something else?
Fiona: No. We're cooking at my place, I get to choose the topic of conversation. You seriously think he's going to wave his magical spy wand and get you back in?
Michael: It's a little more complicated than that, Fi.
Fiona: Well, in my experience, if something seems too good to be true, it's best to shoot it just in case.

Michael: [speaking to 13-year-old boy, Joey, in Fiona's apartment] You're going to tell us your mom's name at some point. Unless you're planning on living here.
Fiona: I don't recommend it. I can only cook a few things and the air conditioning is iffy.

Michael: I told the kid I would help. If you want to sit this one out, you can.
Sam: No, no. I get it. Little kid, abusive dad, it kind of hits home, so I'll give you that one. But when the time comes to rescue a bunch of rich women trapped in a brewery, you better step up. So she's in there with Fiona?
Michael: Yeah. The idea was that she'd feel more comfortable talking to a woman.
Sam: I'm not sure if Fi counts, Mike.

April Luna: What can you do that the police can't?
Michael: You'd be surprised.

Fiona: [after having faked being killed in a shootout] Nice fall, Shakespeare.
Sam: Oh, you should talk. You looked like you got hit by an arrow.
Fiona: What are you talking about? A 9 mil at this range?
Fiona: Michael, I know I said I would go along with you on this job, but I don't want you to work with Strickler. Not now, not ever. I can't help you with this.
Michael: It's a two person job. I need you.
Fiona: I've seen the site. You can handle yourself. I'm not worried about that, I'm worried about you. Working with someone like Strickler, it changes you, little by little.
Michael: He's the only one that can get me back in. What do you want me to do?
Fiona: You do what you have to do. I understand. I just can't stay here in Miami and watch. [walks out of the apartment]
Michael: Fi. Fi! Fiona!

Michael: [Voiceover] There's no greater luxury in the field than working with a friend you rely on. When you find someone you can trust absolutely, you want them on every operation you do, and nothing hurts worse than losing a friend to bullets, politics or something personal. But when you have to work alone again, you lock those feelings away and do the job at hand, because as every spy knows, there's time to think about what you've lost after the mission is over.
Michael: [V.O.] When you work as a covert operative, there's no line between who you are and what you do. You are who you need to be for the operation. It makes you effective, it keeps things simple. But when you spend so much time living with someone else, sometimes the people you care about most begin to wonder who you really are.

Michael: You never told them?!
Fiona: No, Michael. Not even a Glenanne would forgive me for working with an American spy. Everyone at home still thinks you're from Kilkenny.

Strickler: You don't get to have the job and the girl! She doesn't fit into your future, our future! So why don't you do yourself a favor and forget the past?!
Michael: Fiona is not my past. [shoots him]

Michael: Sam, if anything happens to me—
Sam: Oh, I'm finishing this, brother. I'm getting Fi out of there no matter what. Just don't tell her I said that.

Michael: [V.O.] When you realize that an operation is compromised, that your enemies are on the move, you're on the clock. You have to move as fast as you can to contain the damage and harden your defenses before it's too late. Sometimes you make it in time, and sometimes you don't. When you work in intelligence, the worst feeling in the world is knowing nothing. Being caught in something you don't begin to understand, because it's not the enemy you see that gets you. It's the one you don't.
Sam: Operation unburn Michael Westen is officially off.

Michael: [Voiceover] The day that the cell phone call log was invented should be celebrated as a national holiday for spies. Even a cautious cell phone user who uses dialback systems or switches phones often, leaves behind a lot of information you can use.
Fiona: Still going through that thing?
Michael: Strickler used this phone. Chances are he used it to talk to whoever it is that's torching hotel rooms to say hello to me.
Fiona: Have you considered turning this over to Homeland Security? They get paid for this sort of thing, you know.
Michael: For all I know he could be working for Homeland Security.

Fiona: What are you worried about? So your mom becomes friends with the county records lady. So what?
Michael: You just never know how things are going to go! She's an asset. Things can get very complicated.
Fiona: I was an asset of yours once.
Michael: And things got complicated and people got hurt.
Fiona: True. In my experience, people get hurt and things get complicated no matter what you do.

Fiona: I'm working on a listening device for your meeting with Ryan later. Would you care to join me?
Michael: I would love to.
Fiona: You know, after the other day I never did get the chance to say— well, not that I have any doubt in my mind that I would have saved myself eventually, and I still think that your tactical approach was a little iffy, but you and Sam, you did come back for me. You gave up a lot to come back for me, whether I needed it or not.
Michael: You're welcome, Fi.
[Silence; they nearly kiss]
Fiona: Watch it. You're getting solder on my transmitter.

Michael: [As cover ID Alex, to arguing thugs] Girls, girls, girls, don't fight; you're both pretty.
Gilroy: I had to see you in action and I have to say you've lived up to your reputation. Such panache! Love the suit, who are you wearing?
Michael: You know, you're awfully confident I won't shoot you right here. Don't be.

Rincon: Go to hell!
Michael: Come with me!
Fiona: Those are some grade A sons of bitches in there. [looks through the glove compartment] Where's your gun, Sam?
Sam: I moved it, Fi, for your own good. Look, if it'll make you feel any better, I think your trick with the bug gave us something we can use.
Fiona: Yeah, if we can use it to bludgeon Lynch to death I'll feel much better.
Sam: One step at a time, Fi.
Fiona: Ooh he called him a 'pendejo', it's like idiot but ruder.

Michael: Leave no trace. Leave no teeth.
Larry: (laughing) Oh, that's good. That's a bumper sticker! I love that!

Larry: You ever had one of these Cuban coffees? Cortadito! Fun to drink, fun to say.

Larry: Michael Westen back in action? I wouldn't miss it.
Fiona: You know, some guys take girls to the beach, concerts, farmers' markets. Ugly Polish military intelligence offices, not so much.
Michael: Believe me, I'd rather be at a farmers' market than bribing a bureaucrat to tell me what's on a spy plane.
Fiona: I have an idea. [Michael nods for her to continue] Instead of working with Gilroy the psychopath, instead of sneaking around to try and figure out what he wants to steal from the plane, shoot him and be done with it!
Michael: I considered it.

[Sam is undercover as a Miami Police Department CSU tech, at the site of a fashion designer's killing.]
Sam: Looks like murder... [takes out a pair of sunglasses and puts them on] ...is in style this season.
[Later, under the same circumstances]
Sam: Looks like the killer's plan... [takes out the sunglasses again and puts them on] ...is coming apart at the seams.
Fiona: For your sake, Michael, I hoped you were dead. I can put up with a lot, but four calls without so much as a text back?! That just puts me right to the edge!

Gabriel: I think you'll recognize this, it's your file from Interpol. Tell me something, why does a nice Catholic girl with no apparent interest in politics, no history of violence, decide to join the IRA and blow up cars all over Belfast?
Fiona: We didn't have girls soccer?
Simon: I want my life back!
Michael: Fine. It's yours. Take it.

Michael: [V.O.] Work in intelligence long enough, you hang on to phone numbers. No matter who your enemy is there's a chance you'll need them tomorrow. Churchill and Stalin weren't chummy in 1941, but once the Nazis marched on Moscow they got past their differences.

Sam: It's funny. You never really know a car until you drive it through a wall.

Agent Callahan: Look at the file! You saw it already! Everything's there! It's documented!
Madeline: And these are all lies!
Callahan: I saw it with my own eyes! I saw your son attack a police officer, Mrs. Westen! He nearly killed a man! Your son shot at me! He tried to kill me! You live in a fantasy world, lady! You have no idea who your son really is!
Madeline: I know this: if Michael wanted to kill you, you'd be dead. I know exactly who my son is!

Simon: It's only a matter of time, now, until you're just like me. [laughs] Just like me. Just...like...me.

Agent Callahan: Are you going to pay for your son's mistakes?
Madeline: He paid for mine...

Season 4

Michael: Don't make a move unless things go bad.
Sam: And if things go bad?
Michael: Well, it was nice seeing you guys again.

Michael: Guys, guys! I have a loaded machine pistol in my hand and I have no idea what I'm doing!

Sam: Bottom line? This whole business needs a little Michael Westen.

Madeline: Hello there, Michael.
Michael: Hey, Ma.
Madeline: To what do I owe the pleasure?
Michael: Well, I thought we should talk. I know that, uh, it wasn't easy while I was away.
Madeline: Having you gone is something I've gotten used to. You know what was hard? Having an FBI agent in my house telling me that you're a monster. I still don't know what's going on.
Michael: I was chasing a man named Simon. He started off, years ago, as someone who did what I did. Something happened, he changed and he hurt people and a lot of things he did got blamed on me.
Madeline: Now, how is that possible, Michael? If you weren't there?
Michael: I spent my entire career officially being nowhere. So it's not hard to pin things on someone whose job is to never have an alibi.
Madeline: Well, there other things that he said, you blew up a bridge? You shot at police? You didn't do that?
Michael: Yeah, I did. I had to get Simon. He was going to hurt more people if I didn't stop him. So, I broke the law. I worked with bad people. I did it because I had to.
Madeline: That's it? It's as simple as that?
Michael: [starting to tear up] I don't know... [pause] He laughed... When I caught Simon, he laughed. He said it was just a matter of time before I was just like him.
Madeline: [hugging Michael] He's wrong, honey. That isn't the son I raised.
Lee: So when we find Jesse we're suppose to just, what, share him?
Michael: [as cover ID Mr Turner] That's what we learned in kindergarten.
Michael: [voice-over] First contact with the police is critical: it can mean the difference between the start of negotiations or the start of an armed assault.

Michael: [answers the phone] Fi.
Fiona: Lucky you, Michael. You're sitting on the money. Nick has a floor safe under the carpet in the conference room. Just crack open that puppy and come on out with your hands up.
Michael: It won't be that easy, Fi. Sam and I are on the hook as accomplices now.
Fiona: Seriously, Michael? You have to stop doing favors for Sam. Have you requested a getaway vehicle?
Michael: It's on the way.
Fiona: Well, you're going to need a diversion, and judging from the police turnout it's going to have to be a big one.
Michael: Fi, if there ever was a time to pull out all the stops, this is it.
Fiona: Michael, I never thought I'd hear you say those words. [hangs up and opens her trunk, speaking to the con-artist tied up in it] Move over. You're lying on my C4.
Michael: Good news. I think Kendra just found us. Grey sedan right behind you.
Fiona: Do you think she's been sitting on this place?
Michael: She probably figured we'd have to bring the tape drive at some point. Which we did! Still think this is a dead end?
Fiona: It is if she kills us.

Kendra: Why are you after me?
Michael: And here I was think it was the other way around. Why don't you come back down so we can have a nice little chat?
Kendra: A little chat with a guy who tried to grab me in an alley?
Michael: A couple of days ago you tried to kill me.
Kendra: Touché.

Michael: He seemed to really like us.
Jesse: Hey, the guy is standing up for his community. It's pretty inspiring.
Michael: There's a fine line between inspiring and suicidal.
Fiona: I say hit these dealers hard. Send them a message.
Michael: Guys, we don't even know who we're dealing with. Let's figure out who these guys are working with and --
Fiona: Fine. Just promise there will be some hitting involved at some point.

Fiona: I wish our phone conversations were as flirty.
Michael: She threatened to kill me.
Fiona: I can do that.

Jesse: [loading a van] Another bag? What, is this every explosive you own?
Fiona: Ha! You don't know me very well.
Michael: [voice-over] Interrogating a hostile witness is like proposing marriage. You want to get it right the first try. So you don't settle until you find the perfect spot. You take special care to set the right ambiance and set the mood. And then you wait for the best moment to pop the question.

Michael: Fi, I've got an antenna on the roof.
Fiona: Well, look what I got: a security camera.
Michael: Okay. Let's slowly and casually move away.
Fiona: He might not have seen our approach from the -- [gets knocked down by an exploding building]
Michael: I think he saw us. I'm going to call 911. :911 Caller: 911, what's your emergency? Hello, 911. :Fiona: How very civic minded of you, Michael.
Jesse: [dragging a trunk with a captive in it] Even a day at the beach isn't a day at the beach with you people.

Fiona: [after Jesse hits Russian spy with pistol] This was my idea! I should have gotten to hit him!

Fiona: [slaps Michael] You know what I did tonight? I destroyed evidence that would have led Jesse to finding out you burned him.
Michael: Thank you. [stops Fiona from slapping him again] Fi. Fi! What we're doing is worth it. This is bigger than one person's career. There's so many people out there --
Fiona: I can't stand lying to Jesse. I can't stand watching you keep this secret like it's nothing! I can't stand what you're turning into.
Michael: Which is what?
Fiona: Someone who only cares about the idea of people. He doesn't give a damn about the ones who have his back every single day.
Michael: You know me better than that.
Fiona: I used to think so.
Sam: Where there's smoke, there's Fi.

Fiona: Sometimes you have to be your own white knight.

Jesse: Just goes to show. Payback is a...
[Fiona enters, very disheveled]
Michael: Fiona...
Fiona: You should see the other guy.

Madeline: Jesse, this might be one of those things. Fiona and Michael love each other and they hate each other, but it's always each other.
Fiona: [to Vaughn] You see, Michael wants to believe that you're different, but I know nothing's changed. It's the same old tune you bastards have been playing since day one: "Do what we want or die." You just sing it a little differently.

Vaughn: You know how willing Michael is to let the wrong voices get in his head. You don't want to see Michael become that kind of monster.
Fiona: He would never let that happen. I would never let that happen.
Vaughn: It's happening already, darling. Michael is an addict. He can't resist this life, even though he knows how it's gonna end.

Vaughn: Did I do something to make you upset with me?
Fiona: Well, you ruined Michael's life and his career, came after his family, damn near got him killed too many times to count, so forgive me if looking at you makes me lose my appetite.
Michael: [voice-over] In the jungle, the first warning that a predator is approaching is silence. When violence is imminent, animals instinctively know that keeping quiet and still is their best shot at survival. Prison's a lot like the jungle. Silence is not a good sign. Averted eyes, stockpiled food, and guys wearing heavy coats on a warm day also indicate trouble's on the way.

Fiona: [referring to Michael's prison uniform] That's not a great color on you.
Michael: Great to see you too, Fi.

Michael: [voice-over] Every environment has its rules and customs, and your survival often depends on knowing them. In Russia, you never refuse vodka, in Pakistan, you always clear your dinner plate, and in prison, you're careful about making eye contact. Too little eye contact, and you become a victim. Too much eye contact, and you become a threat. Either way, you're never more than a couple of blinks away from getting a shiv in your back.
Fiona: So, you and Jesse are poking Barrett with a stick. Why does the phrase sitting ducks come to mind?
Michael: Jesse and I are pretty well-armed ducks.
Fiona: [smiles] I hope so.

Michael: [voice-over] Spies spend plenty of time with sociopaths and criminals, but sometimes it's even more dangerous to hang out with their victims. Letting your emotions get the best of you can threaten the entire operation.
Fiona: You smoked an entire pack in an hour. You have any idea how bad that is for you?
Madeline: It's probably better for my health than waiting around for some burned spy with a grudge.

Michael: [voice-over] One simple but effective trick for identifying a tail is known in the spy trade as running errands. You drive to different locations and stop, going about ordinary business in areas with open parking lots while your team follows, keeping track of the cars at each stop. It doesn't matter how good your tail is. At a certain point, they're going to pop up more than once.
Jesse: I don't know what you just volunteered me for. I'm not getting mixed up in anything Michael's got going on.
Fiona: Jesse, we lied about what we did to you. We didn't lie about who we are.

Michael: I just want to find evidence Dennis set the bomb yesterday and turn this mess over to the police.
Sam: I never thought I would hear those words from you.
Michael: I never had to walk around with hole in my clavicle before.

Vaughn: One minute. Then you never have to see me again, ever, if you don't want to.
Fiona: Next time you show up unannounced, nobody will ever see you again.
Fiona: [referring to Natalie] I still hate that we're going on this heist with her.
Michael: Fi, we can't always pick our teammates in the field.
Fiona: I am not a spy. I can't pretend someone doesn't make my skin crawl.

Michael: [voice-over] National intelligence agencies and local law enforcement work together more often than you might think. Most metropolitan police stations have an office called a fusion center where classified intel is collected in one place. It's a great resource if you need information fast. Unfortunately, it does involve breaking into a police station.
Michael: I thought you hated the idea of me working for the government again.
Fiona: Oh, I do. But I want you to have a choice.
Michael: You want me to have the choice, but you want me to choose to turn it down? Either way, don't we end up at the same place?
Fiona: Michael, I hope you're never in a situation where your survival depends on your ability to understand relationships. You'll be dead in seconds.

Michael: [voice-over] A career in law enforcement tends to make for a cynical outlook on life. Where spies spend their careers telling lies, cops spend their careers listening to them.
Michael: [referring to Vaughn] His organization has never faced this kind of exposure before. I imagine he'll marshal all of his forces and send them this way.
Sam: So, the gates of hell will open...
Jesse: The apocalypse will be upon us...
Fiona: And everyone we know and love will be in danger of becoming very dead.
Madeline: So what else is new?

Michael: Everything okay, Fi?
Fiona: We used to talk about where we were going, what we wanted our lives to be. And now the only time we talk about our future is when someone's coming to end it.
Michael: (preparing for his last stand) And for what it's worth, Agent Porter, I'm sorry for what I did to you. I never said it, but I am truly sorry.
Jesse: (embarrassed) Come on, man, just... I signed up to fight the bad guys, right? That's all you were ever doing. So we're in this together. You good with that?
Michael: Yeah, I'm good with that.

Fiona: I want to know what this means in the end. Who wins? 'Cause honestly, I feel, however this turns out, I lose.
Michael: Maybe this isn't your fight, Fi. Just because it's my path doesn't mean it's yours.

Jesse: Listen to me: if you go back out there, you know what's going to happen.
Fiona: Yeah, I'm going.
Jesse: What happened to all that wisdom about you and Mike having different priorities?
Fiona: Well, screw wisdom! I belong out there with him, for better or worse.
Jesse: It's probably going to be for worse.
Fiona: Well, I knew that the moment I met him. (kisses Jesse, then runs back towards Michael) Goodbye, Jesse!
[Sam confesses to Michael that he's found out his new girlfriend is an Admiral's wife.]
Sam: So, look, what do you think I should do here?
Michael: Go to Maitland and explain. Tell him you didn't know who she was until things had already gotten out of hand. In fact, call him right now.
Sam: Mike, that's not what I- look, I was more looking for that super-spy advice on how to keep this quiet.
Michael: You remember that thing in Kiev with Misha? When he sold out the wetwork team on their way to Paris?
Sam: Hell, yeah. What about it?
Michael: That's the kind of secret that stays secret, because if it comes out, people get sent to Siberia. This will come out as soon as Maitland looks sideways at his wife.
Sam: Seriously, Mike, you know, I know you're a smart guy, but you've dated, like, one lady, and she was a frickin' psycho. I'm just saying you may not be the expert on this whole boy-girl thing.

Sam: I mean, how smart can spies be, right? You're always fighting on the side with no guns.
Michael: There's certain rewards to fighting on the side with no guns.

Admiral Gregory Maitland: You were in my house, in bed with my wife! And don't even try to deny it, 'cause I found your belt. This look familiar? I talked to Donna, and she told me everything.
Sam: (still slightly drunk) Admiral, I was unaware, sir, that she was your significant other.
Maitland: You were unaware? You're a Navy SEAL! You're trained in battlefield awareness, and you didn't see my name on the mailbox?!
Sam: Well, sir, I wasn't exactly in that frame of mind, sir. As you can imagine, I was otherwise occupied, sir... I'll stop talking now, sir.

[Maitland assigns Sam to a mission in Colombia.]
Sam Axe: Well, sir, it's been a while since I was down in South America, I really should brush up on my Spanish.
Admiral Gregory Maitland: Well, you've got a thirteen hour flight, so... (throws him a mission dossier) Brush up, amigo!
Sam Axe: Amigo, that's "friend," right, sir?

Sam: So between these tanks and the fuel out back, we should have just enough to blow the place.
Ben Delaney/Amanda: What?!
Amanda: You're not going to destroy the clinic! Isn't Veracruz coming to do the exact same thing?
Sam: No, Veracruz wants to destroy the clinic with the people inside. I want to destroy the clinic to create a distraction to save the people. Little bit of a difference.

Sam: You stay here, you die. You come with me...
Ben Delaney: ...we live?
Sam: Well, the odds are a little better.

Ben: Okay, real quick... The warning label says "keep away..."
Sam: [interrupts] Yeah, that's right. We're building a bomb, okay? So you do the opposite of what the warning label says.

Beatriz: [holding a little girl by the hand] She ran off and and she won't stop crying! [in Spanish] Shut up! You're going to kill us all...!
Sam: Hey, sister, easy now. Now I'm not an expert here, but I don't think that's how you get a kid to stop crying. Come on, Nina. (in Spanish) Let's go. Don't listen to bad girl. One time, she gives kiss to a monkey. On his mouth. (the girl starts laughing) It's true. I saw it.

[Sam is teaching the Espada Ardiente tactics. Beatriz is translating.]
Sam: Okay, I have a plan for attack. It's called the zone blitz. And it's all about disguise. Let me hear you say it, all together: zone blitz!

[after reaching a CIA outpost]
Sam: So guys, what can we do here? Got any weapons?
Gabriel 'Gabe' Manaro: We got a couple of 45s?
Matt Bailey: And like a box of ammo.
Gabe: Other than that we got a lot of computers?
Matt: And maps.
Gabe: DVDs, good movies.
Matt: We're an observation outpost.
Gabe: ...mostly observing.
Matt: Yeah, doing communications supporting...
Gabe: ...not wearing "night goggles". Or going on raids.
Matt: We're not a fortress.
Sam: Okay, what about all those antennae on the roof? Can you call out?
Gabe: [upbeat] Yeah, we can do that.

Beatriz: Those men killed my father!
Sam: I think it's safe to say if your dad was here, he wouldn't want you catching a bullet. I mean, thinking about it, what would he say?
Beatriz: I don't know, he's not here!
Sam: He would say a kid a tough and as smart as you is gonna have a big future. He'd want you to grow up and see it, wouldn't he?
Beatriz: He would want me to stay.
Sam: So you'll stay.
Beatriz: [quickly] No. But thanks anyways. You remind me of my father. [grins] And I didn't listen to him either.

[Sam and the Espada Ardiente ambush the convoy.]
Sam: Flaming Sword, attack! Zone blitz!
Beatriz: ZONE BLITZ!

Season 5

Fiona: How was the job?
Michael: The job was good.
Fiona: I missed you.
Michael: Yeah, I got that. I think you broke a rib.

Max: Is this seriously the way you do things?
Michael: When I have to.
Max: How are you still alive?
Michael: That's a good question. [fires three shots] I eat a lot of yogurt.

Fiona: When you got burned, it wasn't just you. These last four years have been hard on all of us.
Michael: I know. I know, and I'm really sorry about that, but we are so close to wrapping this up and then I can move on.
Fiona: I hope you find what you're looking for, Michael. I really do. Then we can all move on.
Realtor: Where did your friend go?
Fiona: Oh, I'm afraid we haven't quite captured his attention today, but this isn't for him. It's for me. So maybe you and I can meet again Monday?
Realtor: Oh, no problem. You know and don't worry, lots of men don't really focus until it's time to negotiate.
Fiona: Yeah, well, that man doesn't focus unless an international conspiracy is threatening to ruin his life.

[Michael has just shouted at Madeleine and threatened her for the benefit of their mark]
Michael: I had to upset you. I didn't know how else to do it.
Madeleine: I know. It's just--I hadn't seen that in a long time.
Fiona: Seen what?
Madeleine: Nothing. I'll be alright, I just need a minute.
[She leaves the room.]
Fiona: What was she talking about, Michael?
Michael: It's not something I want to talk about right now, Fi.

Sam: He's gonna have to shove you around, maybe tear your shirt a little--
Madeleine: Tear my shirt? Why don't you just hit me?
Michael: I'm not going to hit you, Mom!
Madeleine: Michael, it's not like I've never been hit before.
Michael: [after a long moment] Turn your face away when you feel the impact. It'll distribute the force. But it'll still hurt.
Madeleine: I know.
Michael: [voice-over] As a spy, you get used to people having whispered conversations about you. It's a little like being in high school. But when people are whispering about you in algebra they're a lot less likely to try and kill you afterward.

Fiona: Hoping to scare off that lone-shark with your shirt?!
Michael: It's part of the Nate Westen collection. It won't get into my regular rotation, I promise.
Fiona: I should hope not.
Michael: [voice-over] People tend to think spies are motivated by love of the game, desire for adventure or patriotic fervor. The truth though, is that you don't choose a life as a covert operative unless something deeper is going on beneath the surface. Something more personal, something harder to explain and something a lot more painful.
Michael: We rip off Carmelo and leave Sam behind as a witness to the heist. He questions him. [to Sam] You steer him towards the Serbs. We play it right he hunts for his heroin and finds our drone instead.
Fiona: And if we don't play it right, we find out if Sam is bulletproof.
Fiona: [during stakeout] We've been here two days, Sam. Face it, this guy is not calling the shots. He has Christmas lights hanging in July. He may look a little bit like Michael, but there is no way he's capable of killing a CIA officer and setting Michael up for it.
Sam: Yeah, well, I don't think he's capable of setting a table. Yesterday, I found a brochure about raising Alpacas for profit in his trash.
Fiona: So let's scrap this cloak and dagger and go have a little chat. I'm wearing my door-kicking Jimmy Choos.

Jesse: How many bangers we got inside?
Fiona: Three. Shouldn't be too hard for me to sneak past them.
Jesse: Hmm. Uh-huh, or, you know, I could go in and you could stay out here, because --
Fiona: If you're about to say because I'm a woman, I'm going to knock your teeth down your throat.
Michael: We're going on a boat ride with this guy? I thought it was just lunch.
Madeline: This guy's name is Ben. And it's not just any boat. It's the new glass-bottom boat that they're running out of Coconut Grove.
Fiona: Go easy on him, Madeline. He still doesn't know that some couples do things besides fight multinational conspiracies.

Agent Pearce: You must be Fiona. I read your file, and as an employee of the U.S. government I'm probably not supposed to say this, but wow.
Fiona: Thanks. Michael told me almost everything about you.
Agent Pearce: Oh, well, I hope he was discreet.
Fiona: When it comes to his work, Michael takes discretion to a whole new level.

Agent Pearce: [referring to Michael's plan] That is, bar none, the craziest play I have ever heard in the field.
Jesse: Well, you don't hang out with him enough.

Armand: Lovely evening for an arms deal.
Fiona: I want my information first.
Armand: You know I always deliver. We're alike that way.
Fiona: What's that supposed to mean?
Armand: Tell me something. Are you happy? Was it worth it? Coming here to live with an absentee boyfriend in his drab little flat? You were meant for much, much greater things.
Fiona: Like what? Working with you? No, thanks.

Fiona: How was your mission?
Michael: It was rough. I mean, it worked out.
Fiona: But you can't talk about it. Whatever. [slides a piece of paper his way] The lead on your bomber.
Michael: How did the job go?
Fiona: Does it matter? You got what you needed.
Michael: Fi, did something happen with Armand?
Fiona: Oh, now you're full of questions. A lot happened with Armand, years ago back in Ireland in the bad old days.
Michael: Were you and he --
Fiona: Yes, we were, Michael. Until I found out that he had paid to meet me by doing a favor for some of my associates. He killed a British customs agent, if you're curious. Quite a romantic gesture, don't you think?
Michael: I didn't know that, Fiona.
Fiona: No, you didn't. Ignorance is bliss.
Fiona: Do you know what kind of girlfriend drives all the way to Tallahassee to search a crusty old man's equally crusty apartment?
Michael: A good girlfriend!
Fiona: A great girlfriend. The kind of girlfriend that deserves dinner at The Forge.
Michael: Point taken. How about two dinners?
Fiona: [twirls in her new dress] How does the discretionary fund look?
Michael: Expensive.

Michael: Shall we tango?
Fiona: Let's.
Michael: Can I lead?
Fiona: Fine. Just this once.
Michael: They got you too?
Fiona: [lifts handcuffed wrists] Picked me up at the bridge. I heard what was going on and asked if I could say goodbye in case --
Michael: Hey, an hour ago I was on my way to jail for the rest of my life. How much worse is this really?
Fiona: The man is ruthless! He killed one of his own people to avoid capture. You won't even have a gun!
Michael: The only way I'm going to get out of this is if I get Tavian to talk. I can't ask anyone else to risk their life for this.
Fiona: Michael, come back to me.

Michael: [voice-over] For a spy, finding out you've been compromised, that someone has something on you, is the ultimate nightmare. The worst part for someone who has spent a career training for every situation is knowing that there is nothing you can do but grit your teeth and try to find out exactly how bad the nightmare is going to be.
Michael: [voice-over] For a spy, the worst thing that can happen is to become someone else's asset. You do anything you can to avoid it, making sure there's nothing people can grab onto and use as leverage. You move through life unattached, keeping the world at a distance. It's a hard way to live, but there's a cold logic to it. Love nothing, and nothing you love can be used against you. Once you violate that rule and make that connection with someone, you've handed your enemies the key to destroying you.

Fiona: Forget it. I don't think you should do anything for that parasite.
Michael: I don't think I have a choice.
Fiona: Of course you have a choice! You can say no. You can tell the C.I.A. all about Anson and --
Michael: And watch you go to jail for the rest of your life for something you didn't do? I can't do that, Fi.

Michael: Well, Oswald sure knows how to stay protected. I count four armed guards covering just the rear of the compound.
Fiona: Michael, are you sure you want to do this now? We could wait and see what Sam and Jesse find. I mean, if I'm past saving, what's the point?
Michael: We have to assume we can get you out of this.
Fiona: What if we can't?
Michael: I've been past saving before, Fi. You didn't walk away and I'm not going to.
Fiona: Well, that's terribly romantic, Michael, but we don't have the numbers or the firepower to get past those guards.
Michael: Maybe we can get around them. If you set a diversion out front, I can make an approach from the water, grab Oswald before anyone knows I'm there. Please, Fi.
Fiona: Don't look at me like that! It's unsettling when you're that sincere! Fine, yes! I'll get the guns. [walks away in a huff]

Michael: [voice-over] For a spy, loyalty is a strange thing. Your job is to deceive, to live among your enemies, to perform dark deeds for a noble purpose. And it's that purpose that guides you through the darkness. When you lose sight of that, the darkness is all there is.
Michael: Sometimes betrayal is as easy as pushing a button. The hard part is being able to live with yourself after you've done it.
Michael: [voice-over] There's nothing quite like searching the home of someone you care about for evidence they've betrayed you. It's something spies have to do regularly, even with the people they love the most. It's never easy searching for something as hard as you can and praying you find nothing at all.
Fiona: I should disappear. You'll be able to bring Anson down.
Michael: And you'd keep running for the rest of your life. Not after all this. I am not losing you, Fi.
Michael: What do you want? What do you want me to say, Fi? I'm doing this for you.
Fiona: Stop. Just stop. There has to be a line.
Michael: There is no line when it comes to you!
Fiona: I can't do this anymore. We can't do this. Let's just go. We'll go to the FBI, and I'll turn myself in. I'll make them understand.
Michael: They won't understand us. We start down that road, we can't come back. And I'll lose you. And I can't lose you.

Fiona: [in goodbye letter] Even before I knew your real name, I loved you. Before I should have, I trusted you. Because I've always known your heart. You do what's right, no matter the cost to you. And I've learned that when you love a spy, you have to be willing to make that sacrifice, too. At times, your job has made it hard to be with you, but it's never shaken my faith in you. I can't let you ruin anyone's life to save mine. I have to force you to tell what you know. If you don't, you won't be the man I love. Do the right thing. I love you, Michael. Forever.

Season 6

Sam: There you are. I've been looking all over for you. Is Fi --
Michael: I was too late, Sam.
Sam: Look, Mike, you can't blame yourself. I mean, there was nothing you could do. It wasn't like any of us could stop her.
Michael: And what about you, Sam?
Sam: What are you talking about?
Michael: You know exactly what I'm talking about.
Sam: No -- I don't.
Michael: You expect me to believe she knocked you out. How is that possible? [grabs Sam forcibly] How is that possible!
Sam: Mike, come on, man. What do you want me to say? Okay. Yeah, yeah, maybe I could have fought her off. That's right. But did it ever occur to you that maybe she was right? You were losing yourself, Mike! You were selling out everything you ever fought for!
Michael: I was fighting for her!
Sam: By burning spies? Mike, you were betraying your friends. You were about to betray your God damned government.
Michael: What do I do now, Sam? What do I do? I've just been fighting for so long, Sam, and she was all I had left.
Sam: Now you're just going to have to fight a little more.

Jason Bly: Your statement is interesting, Ms. Glenanne. Some of it even fits with what we know. Here's the problem: your story is missing a main character.
Fiona: What are you talking about?
Jason Bly: Well, we both know you didn't kill Larry Sizemore because you were suddenly overwhelmed with a desire to provide free security for the British consulate. You wouldn't have killed Larry unless you had a good reason. Like, say, protecting your boyfriend Michael Westen.
Fiona: I'm not with Michael anymore.
Jason Bly: Really? I'm surprised to hear that. The two of you were quite the couple. Not to mention the fact that I have documented cases of you two working together as recently as --
Fiona: We have a business relationship. Nothing more.
Jason Bly: Look, I understand your desire to protect him, but I'm not sure that you understand the situation that you're in here. You're going down for three counts of capital murder. Now that's a ticket to death row, but if you tell me the truth about Michael and it doesn't have to be that way.
Fiona: Michael had nothing to do with this.
Jason Bly: [slaps the table] Don't. Don't insult my intelligence. Look, this isn't personal, all right? I worked with Michael and he had his moments. I am just here to get the truth. Why don't you just tell me? What's it going to be? Fiona, trust me, you need a friend here.
Fiona: I have enough friends. You have my statement.

Fiona: I want to see the photos again.
Jason Bly: Why do you want to torture yourself like that?
Fiona: They were his last moments. Please.
Jason Bly: Michael lived a dangerous life and it ended tragically, but now you have a chance to live yours.
Fiona: You said that the fuel tank was punctured?
Jason Bly: Yes. It ignited and that was it. He never had a chance.
Fiona: No. No, the sides of the cab would have been blasted off in a pressurized explosion. The doors are still on the hinges. This wasn't an accident. It looks more like a roadblock. You're a liar. Michael's alive.
Jason Bly: How could you possibly know that from looking at a photo?
Fiona: I know explosions, I know Michael, and I know that we are done here.
Jason Bly: I hope that this business relationship that you have with Michael is worth it, because from the way it looks, you're going to die for him.

Pearce: He's probably waiting to take a shot at us when we go in.
Sam: Well, that's why God made flashbang grenades.
Fiona: [voice-over] I don’t expect to make many friends here, but then I’ve never made friends easily anyway. At least I have a little privacy. I’m not in the yard. At meals or on work duty I’m housed in a unit for violent offenders, alone. It reminds me of the first time I lost you in Ireland. I’d see you in my dreams and then I would wake up and you were still gone. The dreams hurt but they were all that kept me going. They did then and they do now. Love, Fi.

Michael: I need to see Fiona Glenanne.
Tom Card: This is all about your girlfriend? I heard about that situation.
Michael: Trust me, she's innocent.
Tom Card: Look, just do yourself a favor and walk away.
Michael: Not with this. I can't.
Sam: Hate to say it, Mike, but I think your mouth wrote a check that your butt can't cash. I mean, you see the section here where the C.I.A. says Ahmed is untouchable? I think that means, you know, no touching.
Michael: Maybe you missed this page: the C.I.A. doesn't care about Ahmed, they care about the intel. He's got all the files on a hard drive. We find that drive, we turn it over to the C.I.A., they'll wrap him up.
Sam: Yeah, no I definitely saw that page. Just like I saw this one here: the Agency sent a team into his Bermuda compound back in '08 looking for the hard drive. They didn't find it. What makes you think we can?
Michael: Sam, if I don't help Pearce she's going to ruin her career. Without her at the Agency I'll never get Fi out of prison.
Sam: Okay, wait wait. It says here the guy is getting ready to take a cruise. Maybe you isolate him on the boat, make him think that he's sick.
Michael: If he doesn't think that he's going to make it --
Sam: He starts talking.
Michael: And the first person he calls is his son Sharif back in Bermuda. It's perfect, Sam!
Sam: Well, perfect isn't going to work. We don't have the manpower. You've got to have three on the cruise, three on the land side, and if the C.I.A. can't know about this, well they're not going to pitch in.
Michael: I can get you a team.
Sam: [laughs] Who? Nate and your ma? Oh, wow. You're not kidding are you? Look, Mike, nothing against the Westen clan, but I'm going to be real glad when we get Fi out of the clink.

Fiona: Is there anything you can't get in here?
Ayn: If the price was right, I could stage a Beatles reunion concert in the main yard.
Fiona: All I need is a name.
Ayn: Yes, you do, and a pricey one at that.
Fiona: I'm all ears.
Ayn: Tomorrow at 2:15, I need that door locked tight and I need it to stay that way for about two minutes. Do me that favor and I'll help you find out who's trying to kill you.
Fiona: Doing it without getting caught would be almost impossible. I can't risk going to segregation.
Ayn: I thought that might be a deal-breaker. No hard feelings, honey.
Fiona: [writes in one of the books Ayn keeps] I said almost impossible. Get me these supplies and it's a deal.
Ayn: That's a hell of a shopping list.
Fiona: It's a hell of a favor.
Ayn: Magnesium? Overnight?! Honey, I'm good, but I'm not magic.
Fiona: What about a sparkler?
Ayn: [laughs] You know, this breaks one of my rules, but I might decide to like you, criminal.

Fiona: [upon seeing Michael for the first time in weeks through prison glass] Now you see why I never wear orange.
Michael: [trying to smile, but crying] You look beautiful. I'm going to get you out. I promise you that. We're getting close. The C.I.A. --
Fiona: I love you too, Michael. We don't have much time. I don't want to talk about that.
Michael: You know what I was thinking about the other day? That little, dingy bar in Belfast, the Black Sand Pub.
Fiona: You mean when we met.
Michael: And I made the mistake of asking, [takes on Irish brogue] "Would you like to dance?" and you pulled a snub-nosed revolver on me.
Fiona: That I did, and you said?
Michael: "I assume that means yes."
Fiona: This is wonderful. I wasn't sure I'd ever see another sunrise. Thank you for not giving up.
Michael: Consider it payback for the thousand times you've never given up on me.
Fiona: We should go. Sam will be waiting.
Michael: Fi, this could get bad. I want you to sit this out.
Fiona: What?
Michael: You already went to prison to protect me. This -- this won't be easy.
Fiona: Okay. And?
Michael: Have you ever thought you deserve better than this?
Fiona: Michael, all I wanted was to be by your side. I'm not leaving it again.
Michael: I've missed you, Fi.
Fiona: Good.
Madeline: It was my choice not to leave Frank. And that choice made Michael strong and capable, while it left poor Nate just... How did two brothers turn out so different?
Tom Card: Imagine that you're holding on to two bottles, and they drop on the floor. What happens? They both break. But it's how they break that's important. Because you see, while one bottle crumples into a pile of glass, the other shatters into a jagged-edged weapon. You see, the exact same environment that forged older brother into a warrior, crushed baby brother. People just don't all break the same, Mrs. Westen. Just don't.
Sam: Sometimes, when you push people past their limits, they realize they have no business standing so close to the line.

Season 7

Jesse: Ok, I have it pointed away from the door.
Sam: Is it enough?
Jesse: Should be.
Sam: "Should be" or "it is"? "Should be" is how bomb techs lose body parts.

Madeline: [seeing Fiona has a gun] Put that thing away.
Fiona: I told you we have a situation.
Madeline: You're damn right we have a situation. Child services could come visit at any time. For God-sakes I quit smoking for this.

Burk: I'm not just offering you a new job, I'm offering you a new life Michael. In life there is no second chance. Do you understand?
Michael: Yeah, I understand.

Burk: You know Michael I almost didn't come tonight. Pablo made a pretty good case finding an operative like you cooling his heels in the DR sounded almost too good to be true.
Michael: Glad to know I have a fan.
Sam: If that bastard knows what's good for him, he'll come back home in the next thirty minutes.
Jesse: You're not gonna make it to happy hour, Sam. Let it go.
Sam: If I don't, this is gonna be a lot more snatching than grabbing, I can tell ya that much.
Jesse: What the hell does that even mean?
Sam: You're gonna find out what it means.

Fiona: Why did you park so far away?
Michael: I didn't want to be blocked in. I had a notion you were doing more than slashing the tires
Fiona: You think you know me, McBride?
Michael: I'm learning...

Jesse: This Lone Ranger thing might feel noble, but it's going to get you killed one day.
Sam: Actually, even the Lone Ranger had Tonto and the horse.
Jesse: Yeah. [points to himself] Tonto... [points to Sam] and horse.
Sonya: To do what we do you have to be willing to give up everything. I went straight from the GRU to this. This is the only life I know. I never had a chance for friends or a family. I threw them away lightly.
Michael: [smashes a snow globe] I HAVE GIVEN UP EVERYTHING! LOOK AT THIS PLACE, I HAVE NOTHING! My friends, they moved on. Built new lives without me. I look in their eyes and all I see is pity. My brother is dead. (crying) My mother will never forgive me for getting him killed. This thing that your part of, you're the only thing I have left.
Sonya: That's one thing we have in common.
[They kiss]
[Michael is asked how he became so skilled]
Michael: [on interrogation drugs] My training kicked in. Look at my time in Kiev. That many high risk ops in seven months, you grow stronger or you die.
James: Gradual improvements that come with training and experience had something to do with it but that is only the icing on the cake.
[Michael hallucinates a camp fire]
James: What's happening, what are you seeing?
Michael: I don't know... I don't know (tries to chuckle)
James: Michael, you only need to put yourself there to find the answer.
Larry: (laughing) Your taking about me kid. I am the answer.
Madeline: [her last words] This one's for my boys. [triggers bomb]

[after Michael and Fiona's "funeral"]
Jesse: Well, they missed a good funeral. Where do you think they are?
Sam: Hard to say. A lot of places in the world with C4 and yogurt. We'll be here for them. They'll contact us when the time is right. Got any plans?
Jesse: Not really, no. You?
Sam: I'm supposed to meet a guy at the Carlito later. Friend of Elsa's.
Jesse: What about?
Sam: I don't know, some kind of problem. Sounded pretty desperate on the phone. Wanna come with?
Jesse: You buying the Mojitos?
Sam: Deal.

[The series' last lines]
Michael: [about Charlie, asleep in his lap] What will I tell him when he's older?
Fiona: About what?
Michael: About me.
Fiona: Tell him the truth.
Michael: Where would I start?
Fiona: Start from the beginning. Start with, "My name is Michael Westen. I used to be a spy."


[Opening intro, Seasons 1-5]
Michael: [V.O.] My name is Michael Westen. I used to be a spy, until...
Unnamed: [Over the phone] We got a burn notice on you. You're blacklisted.
Michael: [V.O.] When you're burned, you've got nothing. No cash, no credit, no job history. You're stuck in whatever city they decide to dump you in.
Michael: Where am I?
Fiona: Miami.
Michael: [V.O.] You do whatever work comes your way. You rely on anyone who's still talking to you. A trigger-happy ex-girlfriend...
Fiona: Shall we shoot them?
Michael: [V.O.] An old friend who used to inform on you to the FBI...[N]
Sam: You know spies. Bunch of bitchy little girls.
Michael: [V.O.] Family too...
Sam: Hey, is that your mom again?
Michael: [V.O.] ...if you're desperate.
Madeline Westen: Someone needs your help, Michael.
Michael: [V.O.] Bottom line is: as long as you're burned, [N] you're not going anywhere.

[Opening intro, Season 6]
Michael: [V.O.] My name is Michael Westen. I used to be a spy, until...
Unnamed: [Over the phone] We got a burn notice on you. You're blacklisted.
Michael: [V.O.] When you're burned, you've got nothing. No cash, no credit, no job history. You're stuck in whatever city they decide to dump you in.
Michael: Where am I?
Fiona: Miami.
Michael: [V.O.] You do whatever work comes your way. You rely on anyone who's still talking to you. A trigger-happy girlfriend...
Fiona: Shall we shoot them?
Michael: [V.O.] An old friend who used to inform on you to the FBI...
Sam: You know spies. Bunch of bitchy little girls.
Michael: [V.O.] Family too...
Sam: Hey, is that your mom again?
Michael: [V.O.] ...if you're desperate...
Madeline: Someone needs your help, Michael.
Michael: [V.O.] ...And a down-and-out spy you met along the way.
Jesse Porter: That's how we do it, people!
Michael: [V.O.] Bottom line is: as long as you're burned, you're not going anywhere.

Michael: I'll see what I can do.


"Spies don't get fired, they get burned"
"Sun. Surf. Espionage"
"A new day breaks"
"One problem at a time, Fi"



See also

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