Billy Bennett

British comedian

William Robertson Russell Bennett (1887June 30, 1942) was one of the leading British music-hall comedians of the years between the two world wars. His monologues often parodied well-known recitations of the time.


  • 'Twas the fifteenth anniversary of her twenty-second year,
    So he smiled at her as sweetly as a hog
    And asked what present she would like. And jestingly she said:
    "Your green tie for my little yellow dog."
    • "The Green Tie on the Little Yellow Dog", line 13
  • There's a cockeyed yellow poodle to the north of Conga Pooch;
    There's a little hot cross bun that's turning green;
    There's a double-jointed woman doing tricks in Chu-Chin-Chow,
    And you're a better man than I am, Gunga Din.
    • "The Green Tie on the Little Yellow Dog", line 37
  • She knows I'm a deserter from the Scottish Fusiliers,
    She knows I stole a blind-man's can...that got me seven years!
    She knows I've been connected with a gang of West-End Pests,
    And the police have had me twice inside the cage;
    And she knows I mix with ladies that have got a shady past,
    But my mother doesn't know I'm on the stage.
    • "My Mother Doesn't Know I'm on the Stage", line 11
  • And you can't part a boy from his father,
    You can't part a boy from his dad,
    You can't part a Scotchman from money
    No matter how many he's had.
    You can't part the skin of a sausage
    Or a dad from his fond son and heir,
    And you can't part the hair on a bald-headed man
    For there'll be no parting there.
    • "Daddy", line 33
  • Remember what the Patriarch King Solomon
    Told his harem on the night they'd had a few:
    "Teetotalum overcoatum asqua scutum atomack
    Sonata with tomoto, laringitis, cul de sac."
    Translation: "If your rhubarb's fallen try and bend it back."
    That's a motto for the likes of me and you.
    • "Mottoes", line 41


  • Billy Bennett – I speak of the artist – was forthright, bawdy, and wholesome…[His] grossness had that gusto about it which is like a high wind blowing over a noisome place.
    • James Agate Immoment Toys (New York, [1945] 1969) p. 225.

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