Big Shots (TV series)
- Brody: Let's just say, when it comes to sex. She's the man.
- Duncan: Men. We're the new women.
- Marla: What kind of man would be so deceitful as to lie to the woman he’s cheating on his wife with?
- Duncan: [about Cameron] She's belligerent and headstrong. You can't tell her a thing.
- Lisbeth: You should be happy. Proof that she's yours.
- Cameron: [regarding his drink] That's your third, you know?'
- Duncan: I didn't know you were keeping score.
- Cameron: I didn't know you needed to get loaded to face your own daughter.
- Duncan: You should try facing her, you'd get loaded too.
- Brody: [about Lisbeth] Maybe you should remarry her?
- Duncan: Right, then sex in the wine cellar becomes "Don't touch me I'm exfoliating."
Tall Dark and Hairless [1.02]Edit
- Duncan: [to Brody] What kind of world do we live in, women are more men than we are?
- Karl: It took an affair with a lunatic to get me to appreciate my wife.
- Brody: It's impressive Karl; the first man in history actually has to break up with his wife and his girlfriend.
The Good, The Bad, and the Really Ugly [1.03]Edit
- Karl: Look, I know it sounds crazy but it’s taken my mistress to help me remember how great my wife is. And now that I have, I won’t let anything spoil it.
- Sara: [about the red Ferrari] Mid life crisis or divorce?
- James: Oh, that obvious huh? [Sara nods] Yeah, well… guilty as charged, recently separated.
- Sara: Well, I’ve been there, first stage is always hardest.
- James: There are stages?
- Sara: First stage, wondering if you gonna survive. Second stage, wondering if you’re going to spend the rest of your life alone and third stage, wondering why you didn’t get a divorce sooner.
Three's a Crowd [1.04]Edit
- Terrence: A word of warning, I never lose.
- Duncan: First time for everything.
- Karl: How can things be worse than listening to my ex-mistress have sex with a guy who I thought was gay?
- Wendy: We are so lucky we have each other. Marla has no one.
- Karl: Unless you count her multiple personalities.
- James: Hey I’m a busy guy. Head of a major corporation, I see my kids almost every weekend. Who has time to date?
- Duncan: Who said anything about dating? Relationships come in all forms; some last fifteen years and end very badly, some last fifteen minutes and end very, very happy.
Greatest Amerimart Hero [1.05]Edit
- Karl: The truth, so crazy it just may work.
- Cameron: [to Duncan] You work thirty hours a day, fifteen days a week and you still have time to cheat on mom?
Car Trouble [1.06]Edit
- Lisbeth: I’m an idiot. I’m an idiot! What was I thinking? Duncan Collinsworth loves himself far too much to kill himself.
- Karl: Are you really serious about this? You want Marla to carry our baby.
- Wendy: You’d rather our child be carried by someone we don’t know?
- Karl: No… but I’d rather it not be carried by someone with the emotional stability of Britney Spears.
- Lisbeth: [to Duncan] You… you’re like a drug to me. You make me feel amazing for an hour or for a weekend. And then you let me down and I come crashing back to reality. I’m a forty year old woman; it’s time for me to quit chasing that fairytale.
- Duncan: [to Cameron about hiring Zack] This is who you hired? Where'd you find him, Facebook?
- Duncan: How can sex ever end badly?
- Karl: Maybe not for you, but believe me, I found a way.
Who's Your Daddy [1.07]Edit
- Marla: Please tell me you're locking the door.
- Karl: I...I...I can't work under these conditions. How am I supposed to make a baby with my wife popping in and out of the room?
The Way We Weren't [1.08]Edit
- Lisbeth: [to Duncan] Wait a second. What the hell was that? You cannot go around punching people in the face; especially people I’m about to marry.