Best Laid Plans (1999 film)
1999 American film directed by Mike Barker
Relationships can be murder. (taglines)
- I only wanted to get laid, instead I'm getting fucked.
- We save her, we screw us, and vice versa. But think- who's worth saving here? Who's created this problem? Someone is gonna get hurt, Bryce. It's just a question of who.
- [to Nick] I've built up a certain tolerance for your fuck-ups.
- [Nick is reaching for the stolen note, which Lissa has hidden in her private parts] You could at least kiss me when you do that.
- Bad Ass Dude: Boy, you got a funny idea about chivalry. When me and my lady go driving, she always rides up front with me.
- Bad Ass Dude: What, you never fucked a friend before?
- Bryce: She's sixteen. I mean, what 21-year-old carries around a fake ID saying she's 16? The girl downstairs is 16. Sixteen! I mean, it doesn't matter if she said no. It doesn't matter if she screamed yes, and had a notary public certify it; she's underage! It's statutory! If she presses charges, I will go to jail!
- Nick: So I guess a second date's out of the question, then, huh?
- Nick: You know, not everything in the world revolves around fucking.
- Bryce: No, just most things.
- Nick: We're fucked.
- Lissa: You're telling me.
- Nick: I thought you'd be an older guy.
- Bad Ass Dude: My profession don't promote career longevity. It's a young man's business.
- Nick: I love you.
- Lissa: Why do you think I'm doing this?
- Nick: I thought you were leaving.
- Lissa: I thought I was too. Then I realized I didn't have any money.
- Nick: [chuckles] Let's walk?
- Lissa: Where?
- Nick: Anywhere. Away from here.
- Relationships can be murder.
- Ever feel like the world is conspiring against you... You don't have to tell me where you've been... Everyone sucks, but us... keeping a relationship alive can be murder.