Beautiful Thing (film)

1996 film by Hettie MacDonald

Beautiful Thing is a 1996 British film directed by Hettie MacDonald and released by Channel 4 Films. The screenplay was written by Jonathan Harvey based on his own original play of the same name. Initially, the film was only intended for television broadcast but it was so well-received that it was released in cinemas. The atmosphere of the film is heavily influenced by a soundtrack consisting almost entirely of the work of Mama Cass Elliot.


  • There's me going to bed every night worried because you had to share a bed with Ste, and all the time you were... you turned a seventy minus one.
  • No, I know what you need... a shooting.


Leah's Mother: Oh, I suppose I should be glad it's not techno-acidic housey-housey pop trash.


Ryan: What you fuckin' looking at!?
Miss Chauhan: Less "fucking" and more attention, please! [looking at a pregnant student] Something you might have said to your boyfriend that, Gina.

Mr. Bennet: Oy, He! What's his name?
McBride: Hugh, sir. Hugh Janus. (Huge anus)

Tony: Jamie... how old are you?
Jamie: Old enough. How old are you?
Tony: Twenty-seven; not old enough to be your dad, right?

Ryan: How about a drink?
Sandra: Have a wank, big bollocks!

Neighbour: It's her; she can't control her kids!
Leah's Mother: I have only got the one, you know.
Neighbour: It's just as bloody well!

[Jamie and Ste go to bed]
Jamie: ...Ste?
Ste: Hm?
Jamie: You alright?
Ste: Yeah.
[Jamie pauses]
Jamie: ...Ste?
Ste: What?
Jamie: Night.
Ste: Night, Jamie.

Sandra: What's the matter with Madonna?
Leah: She's a slag.
Sandra: Hypocrit.

Jamie: Scared of being called queer!?
Ste: ...Are you?
Jamie: Maybe... maybe not.
Ste: And are you?
Jamie: Queer?
Ste: Gay.
Jamie: I'm very happy. I'm happy when I'm with you... There, I said it now; go on, piss yourself.
Ste: No.
Jamie: Why, don't you think it's funny?
Ste: I don't want to.
Jamie: I think it's hilarious.
Ste: Why aren't you laughing then?

Jamie: I'm a queer! A bender! Puffer! Nob-shiner! Brown-atter! Shirt-flap lifter--!
Tony: --I get the picture.
Jamie: Now just leave me alone.
Tony: And she knows this?
Jamie: [sarcastically] No, I thought I'd tell you first!

Jamie: Thanks for telling me.
Sandra: Snap.

Sandra: What happened? School burnt down, did it?
Jamie: Yeah.
Sandra: Ah, and what has been this time? An IRA Bomb?
Jamie: Fundamentalist Muslim Pyromaniacs.
Sandra: Oh, funny that. Looks all right when I passed.
Jamie: Yeah, [sarcastically] funny that.

Sandra: You, out! You're under age.
Leah: I'm only drinking Coke.
Sandra: You'll drinking blood when I slap your face. Now move it!
Leah: Oh, you're so hard!
Slasher: Was that a threat?
Sandra: Yeah, and here's another one: Get out before I call your child minder.
Leah: Come on Slasher, I don't want to be asked.
Sandra: ¿Slasher?... ¿What do you slash? ¿Crepe paper?
Leah: He's incontinent.

Interviewer: To whom would you offer the job?
Sandra: It's obvious. Isn't it?
Sandra: The bird with the biggest tits.

Jamie: It's my mom's. The Body Shop. Peppermint foot lotion... soothes your feet.
Jamie: Lay down, and I'll rub it into your back. If you want.

After Jamie kissed Ste
Ste: Do you think I'm queer?
Jamie: It doesn't matter what I think.
Jamie: Can I touch you?
Ste: I'm a bit sore.
Jamie: Yeah.

Sandra: Ey, Ste!, any beans to spill? A little bird tells me that you're in love.
Ste: What?
Sandra: A four-letter word, love.
Sandra: Oh, don't look so worried, Jamie told me all about it.
Tony: She's just jeleaous. Twenty years younger and could have been her.
Sandra: Come on, what's she like!?... Well, what's her name then!?
Ste: No-.
Sandra: Oh, short for Nolene? It's very Home and Away.

Ste: I got you this.
Jamie: Oh My, What a pretty hat! It's the prettiest hat I ever did seen Mr. Steven. Does this mean were engaged?

Sandra: It's a work of art. Isn't it?
Jamie: Claude Monet couldna done better.
Sandra: Argh! Get a life!
Jamie: Do you know who Claude Monet is?
Sandra: Jamie! don't make me out to be fick.
Sandra: Now, you just remember, I won a year's supply of toilet freshener for making up that poem. It took brains and artistry that.

Jamie: Some things are just hard to say.
Sandra: I know, I know that.
Jamie: You think I'm young, that it's just a phase. You think I'll catch AIDS... and everything.
Sandra: You know a lot about me, don't you?
[Jamie is crying]
Sandra: Don't cry.
Sandra: It's all right. I'm not going to put you out in the morning like an empty bottle.

Leah: I suppose you don't have any job in your new pub.
Sandra: No. But if I someday turn it into a brothel, I'll get back to you then. OK?

Sandra: Ey, Leah.
Leah: What?
Sandra: What's this dyke will be like?
Leah: Ah, big and butch.
Sandra: What colour eyes?
Leah: Hmm. Green.
Sandra: Tall?
Leah: I'll have to look up.
Sandra: Nice.
Leah: Yeah.

Sandra: Louise?
Louise: Yeah?
Sandra: I would never have a grandchildren.
Louise: Ouh.

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