Batman: Arkham Asylum

Batman: Arkham Asylum is a 2009 action-adventure video game developed by Rocksteady Studios and released by Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment. Arkham Asylum is written by veteran Batman writer Paul Dini, and is based on the franchise's long-running comic book mythos. In the game's main storyline, Batman's arch enemy the Joker instigates an elaborate plot to seize control of Arkham Asylum and trap Batman inside with many of his incarcerated foes. With Joker threatening to detonate hidden bombs around fictional Gotham City, Batman is forced to fight his way through the asylum's inmates and put an end to Joker's plans. The game's leading characters are predominantly voiced by actors from the DC Animated Universe, with Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill reprising their roles as Batman and the Joker, respectively.

Bane

I shall fold you like paper!
I WILL CRUSH YOU!
I WILL BREAK YOU THIS TIME, BATMAN!
I was wondering what would break first — your spirit…or your body.
The shadows betray you because they belong to me

Batman

I'm fine. I eat punks like these for breakfast.
I'm Batman.
I am Vengeance!
You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain

Harley Quinn

"Ooh, that's gotta hurt!"
"This old man looks like he's gonna pee himself. Someone bring me a bucket."
"Like my new uniform bats? Its hot right?"
"THAT is childhood trauma right there."
"My heart scares you, and a gun doesn’t?"
"What are you gonna do? You gonna kill me, Mr. J?"
"Ivy! Gee, you look like crap! Maybe I can sneak ya some shampoo." [Poison Ivy]
"Yeah? Well, I really don't have time for this." [Poison Ivy]
"I dunno, Ives. You're not on Mr. J's party list. Oh, well..." [Poison Ivy]
"Ives! She's in the basement!" [Poison Ivy]

Joker

"Stand back, fool! I've got a bomb...Oh, right. Heh, heh, heh..." [Remembered why Batman captured him]
Hey, Sharpie! Love what you've done with the place! [Warden Quincy Sharp]
Yo, Frank-ay. How's the wife and kids. Ya miss me? [Frank Boles]
Really, I don't mind walking! [Taken by Arkham Guards]
Not so tight, boys. You'll crease the suit. [Strapped to a gurney]
Sharpie loves his cameras. Hey, Sharpie! You getting my good side? But heck, they're all good, aren't they?
"Look at all this new security. How's a guy supposed to break out of here?"
Oh, it's always nice to return to my sweet little hausenda!
Y'know what? I preferred the good ol' cavity search. Much more personal.
Ooo, whatcha sneak in with you, Bats? C'mon. Tell me, tell me! Batarangs? Batclaws? Ooo, Bat snacks?
There'll be time enough for you later, Cash. Speaking of time, tick, tock, tick, tock. Is that a crocodile I hear? [Aaron Cash]
'What's up, doc? Pencil me in for tomorrow at four. We've got a lot of catching up to do. [Dr. Penelope Young]
Oh, it's my favorite show. "I'm Warden Idiot." "You'll never escape. "[Pulls funny face while speaking and laughs]
I'm telling you, the state of the wiring in these federal facilities is shocking. My boys over there could have been hurt in that unfortunate fire. [Blackgate Prison]
Boo! [Laugh]
Need to take my temperature? I'd be happy to drop my pants.
Can you smell the excitement in the air? No? Huh. Must have been one of the guards then. Croc old boy, is that you? [Killer Croc]
That reminds me. I really need to get me some new shoes. [After encountering Killer Croc]
Whee! Great night for a party!
Ha ha! The night is young, Bats. I still have a trick or two up my sleeve. I mean, don't you think it's a little bit funny how a fire at Blackgate caused hundreds of my crew to be moved here?
Oh, Frankie! You really should learn to keep that fat mouth of yours shut. It'll get you into trouble!
Oh, nothing much. Hundreds dying in pain and fear. All their meaningless lives brought to a horrifying conclusion. All thanks to you and a book of matches. Was that the answer you wanted?
What? Don't you trust me?
Only three? I'll be sure you try harder next time. What say we aim for a hundred?
I think he's talking about you, Bats.
Don't be stranger. You're always welcome here.
Gotta say it's good to be back.
Hurry, We're losing him, Doc!
The choke's on you.
Tell me something, Harleen. Have YOU ever had a really bad day?" [Dr. Harleen Quinzel]
Honey, I'm home. [Harley Quinn]
Welcome to the madhouse, Batman! I set a trap, and you sprang it gloriously!
Now let's get this party started!
Ladies and maniacs. I apologize for this interruption to your regular entertainment.
Up until a few seconds ago, I was going to kill everyone in the room and then watch cartoons, but then...well...you know how I do love a captive audience.
I'm just warming you up, Bats. Fresh from Blackgate Correctional Facility, with a combined sentence of 752 years. Ding, ding, ding ding ding! It's round 2!
Sorry, Bats, gotta run. I've got places to go, people to slay.
Don't make promises you can't keep, Bats.
I'm in control of the Asylum. You're not going anywhere I don't want you to. Understand?
Blah, blah, blah. Always with the hero speak. Ooh, I'm getting bored of watching you. Why don't you just come find me...
What are waiting for? I'm so close you can almost taste me.
What took you so long?
Oh! [Dodges Batman's Batarang and laughs]
I'm counting on it. Just not yet!
Oooh. He's a big one. [Incomplete Titan Henchman]
Well, that was unexpected, wasn't it? Oh well, note to self, need stronger test subjects. [Dead Incomplete Titan Henchmen]
Seeing as how I'm feeling generous, I'll give you this one for free.
Knock me off, I dare you! End this, pull the plug, stop me once and for all.
You're getting too predictable, Bats! Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got a party to organize. I've got guests flying in from all over Arkham. You'll see.
Having a little trouble up there?
You were expecting maybe Two-Face?
Silly Bat! I don't want to escape. I'm having way too much fun. I even have you here to keep a smile on my face.
Really? We'll see. Ta-ta."
Oh, I forgot to say. Just in case you were planning on following me, I've arranged a little insurance. Gordon is on his way to Harley as we speak.
If I see you trying to follow me, he dies. Harley's looking forward to it. Maybe I'll film it and post it on the internet.
I bet you're wondering how I did it. Was it a clue the great detective missed?
Oh, me and Frankie go way back. I got him out of a spot of...bother a few years ago.
So, when I need security codes, or an old man to be clubbed to the ground, I know just the man to ask.
Hold one second, I'll see if I can find him.
I'm sorry. I've looked everywhere, but I can only find his head! I'll get back to you when I find the rest of him.
Hey, Bats. I know you can hear me. I've got a little something for you to listen to. Harley and Frank are nearly out of the building with the old man. How are they going to get past all those guards? Let's have a listen, shall we?
Stop flirting with the hired help, Harley.
Did you hear that, Bats? Sounds like Frankie is working out just fine! Another valuable employee for the organization.
Good. Our friendly neighborhood rodent is on his way. You need to set a trap. He must not leave this building. Do you understand me?
I hope you keep your promises, boy. I'd hate to go and punish your family just to teach you a lesson. I can promise you they won't be laughing.
Just do it! And have fun, I know I will.
Oh, look who it is! Are your pointy ears burning?
I suppose I'd better tell my boys you're on the way. Hey, maybe I won't...It'll be a nice surprise!
Joker here with a quick update on what's new in the asylum.
Some idiot is running around the asylum dressed like a bat. I know. Crazy! Stop him before he gets someone hurt. Really. It's for his own good.
Do you really think it was going to be that easy, Bats? I've sent a few more of my boys your way. Let's see how you deal with these odds!
I like you boys. What you lack in brains, you make up in heart. Oh, and speaking of heart… bring me Batman's.
Oh, boo! You win again, Bats. Well, savor it. I'll get you next time.
Greetings, Gotham. This is the voice of your new master. Oh, hang on...I've skipped a bit!
Joker here! I'm in control of Arkham Island and you can all consider it out of bounds. If I see any lawmen, vigilantes or do-gooders in tights coming this way, I'll start detonating random bombs around the city.
What'll it be? A kindergarten? A hospital? A billionaire's mansion? Oooh, choices, choices, choices.
Hmm. Harley tells me that the Batman's car is still parked just outside of the Intensive Treatment building. Now, we can't just have him up and leave us, can we?
Every thug, villain, murderer, and kindergarten teacher that isn't carrying out party orders should head there now and smash it to pieces.
The entire island will soon be under my control. That's right, boys and girls. Mine. Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine. Just wait till you see my plans for this place. It's going to be glorious.
I just want everyone to know that I really appreciate all the hard work. You know, watching you guys is like a night in, watching my favorite movie. What was the name of that movie again? Oh, yes. Attack of the *stupid bumbling idiots who can't find an even bigger idiot running around dressed like a bat. Now get to it. I'm getting bored.
Joker here! Let me remind all new residents of Joker Asylum that they are expected to follow 1 simple rule. Punishment for not following this rule is death. No ifs, ands or buts. You know what the best thing is *about the rule? It's a secret.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm getting troubling reports of a bat infestation in Joker Asylum. Let me remind everyone that it is their civic duty to exterminate this vermin. We can't have it making its way back to the mainland.
I'm just sitting here watching cartoons. If any of you Blackgate rejects is bored, come over and see me. Don't look up when you open the door. It'll spoil the surprise and my experiment.
I'm having a great time. You guys just make it look too easy, like you're not even trying. Which is not what I pay you to do. Find everyone. Now.
Anyone seen the big bad Bat? I warn you. He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot, but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.
Hello, I'm Warden Idiot. Here at Idiot Asylum, there's only rule. You'll never leave us!
Joker here. Remember. I'm watching all of you. Wherever you are. Even you. Yes, you!
Sorry, Has-Bane. The good doctor won't be a problem much longer. How do you like my puppet? What say we cut him down?
Oh, you little minx, I could never stay mad at you.
I want all the doctors rounded up. Search every inch of the Medical building!
I mean it. Search every room, every office, and every trash can!
If another doctor tries to get out of the building, then you won't! I'll just flood the rooms with Happy Gas and leave you to die! Hell, I may do that anyway, sounds fun.
Too easy! Oh, think about it, I've got you trapped in a little metal box, hanging precariously over a deadly drop, what say i just blow the emergency brakes AND DROP YOU LIKE A SACK OF PUPPIES?
Say good night Bats. BOOM! [Laughs Hysterically] Only kidding!
I've got a few surprises for you, prepare to face your fears. ALL OF THEM!
Tell me, Bats. What are you really scared of? Failing to save this cesspool of a city? Not finding the Commissioner in time? Me, in a thong?
Has anyone seen the Bat?
Come on, someone must have seen where he went?
Big scary guy, wears a cape, jumps out of the shadows and beats up useless thugs?
ANYONE?! No? Good!
Oh, there you are! [Batman]
I've been waiting for you, listening to Zsasz make the good doctor scream while you played around in Scarecrow's world.
How was it this time? Learn anything about yourself? Oh, tell me. Pull up a seat! Talk to me! I'm all ears.
Actually, that reminds me. I could've sworn I heard Zsasz cutting her ears off. Certainly sounded like it. [Dr. Young]
Zsasz.... What are you talking about? Just kill her. She's useless to me now. [Dr. Young]
Oh, you're not scared of a little bat, are you, Slicey? [Victor Zsasz]
Yeah, stay back, Batman! You don't want more blood on your hands, do you? [Dr. Young]
That's the spirit! Now stick it to her! [Dr. Young]
Good evening, residents of Joker Asylum. Some of our... crazier guests have crashed the party early. And when I say crazy, I mean real psycho.
Word of warning: If anyone sees a dribbling fool barking at the moon or maybe just purring like a kitten, do your civic duty. Walk up to them. Put your arm around them. Show them that you care. Before you wring their necks. [Laugh]
I've waited a long time for this, Bats. Let's start the party. With a bang! [Shoots Batman in the face with his gun]
Oh God... does she EVER stop going on about those plants of her's.
Will you really? Well, that's gratitude, isn't it. Women! You give 'em presents, experimental chemicals, and nice costumes and they still turn on you.
Well, good luck to you toots. I've got an army, a city-sized dose of Titan, and a bag of weed killer.
Come and find me when you're done with Bat-brain. It'll be fun! You can bring the wine, I'll make the salad.
Are you excited Bats? I mean, we've been building up to this point all night.
Don't tell me you've not been looking forward to it. I know I have.
SURPRISE! Everyone always said I should be in television.
10,9,8,7654,3,2,1!" [bomb detonates]
[Talking to Scarface]"Why didn't you stop Batman?" [switches to Scarface] "Me?! It was your plan, you goofy clown!" [switches back to himself) "I'm sending you back to the Ventriloquist where you belong!]

[Throws Scarface on the ground in front of Batman]

You had to spoil everything, didn't you? Beating up Bane, feeding Scarecrow to Croc, slapping around Harley, MY hobby by the way, and ruining all my lovely Venom plants!
Over? Why, my dear delusional Dark Knight, it hasn't even begun!
Nicely done, Bats! You deserve a prize!
Your old pal Commissioner Gordon.
Say, he looks all run-down. Let's pep him up!
Ooh, here we go! We're going to have some fun now, kiddies! You're trying to resist the change! That's not fair! Come on! Give in! So, you wanna play hardball, Bats? Do ya? Your call! Tickle, tickle! Ow! You're ruining my big night! All those months of planning down the crapper! I just wanted to bring down your grim facade, and for once let you see the world as I see it, giggling in a corner and bleeding! But you've denied me even that! I have nothing left to live for. [injects himself with Titan]
Show time, Batman!
Let's give the rubes somethig to talk about!
Two freaks in a fight to the death!
And for one night only, please welcome our guest referee.
So… come on! Change! Get crazy! It's the only way to beat me!
You know you want to!
You wasted the antidote on yourself?
Now that's funny!
Hysterical! But you still spoiled my fun! And for that, I'll paint Arkham with your blood!
Lets get ready to tango!
I can take it. I can take anything you throw at me Bats! You can't beat me I'm actually going to win. Ready for the next round?
What?
No!

Oracle

"My God! Is Joker crazy enough to try that...? What am I saying? You've got to stop him!"

Riddler

"Can you hear me, Batman? I know you can. It is I, Edward Nygma, the Riddler, and more importantly, your intellectual superior. My genius has allowed me to hack into your primative communications. Ha ha. My goal is simple: you complete a series of amusingly taxing challenges and... well, you'll see."
"What? You're nearly done? Are you cheating? Looking them up on the internet? Tell me."
"I am Edward Nygma. The world's greatest detective."
"You are beginning to impress me, Batman. I'll let you help me find my socks if you keep this up."

Scarecrow

"You've ingested enough toxin to drive 10 men insane! What are you!?"
"You married your wife because you were scared of dying alone. You had children because you're scared you won't leave behind anything important. You go to doctors because you're scared of dying... need I go on?"
"What are you, Batman? Chicken?"
"Is your mind playing tricks on you... or am I?"
"Are you enjoying the extra dose, little Bat?"
"Why fight it, Batman? You're as crazy as the rest of us. You need us just as much as we need you."
"At the end of fear, oblivion."
"You failed. Now, suffer!"
"Now, madness takes you forever."
"What's the matter, little bat? Do you need your mommy?"

Scarface

"Our head of research, Dr. Crane, has made no real progress, but he seems to enjoy his work so, what the hell."
"When I first heard the Joker aimed to take over this bughouse, like many of us, I thought he was crazy. When he outlined his vision of a hospital dedicated to ensuring inmates remain loopy for as long as possible, I thought he was wacky. But when he held me down and razor cut a new smile on my face, I decided he had a point; Situated in a small island in Gotham Bay, we stop at nothing to making sure no screwballs fly the coop."
"Our new patient ward is "manned" by Waylon Jones. I'm assured that he's cured almost every patient sent to him, and boasts empty beds in all his wards."

Victor Zsasz

"I see anything that looks even a little bit like a bat and this guard dies. Do you hear me?"

Dialogue

Joker: Seeing as how I'm feeling generous, I'll give you this one for free! Knock me off, I dare you, end this! Stop me once and for all! [Batman prepares to throw a batarang but doesn't, Joker laughs] Oh, you're getting too predictable, Bats. Gotta go! I've got a party to arrange.

Joker: Wee! Great night for a party.

Batman: Not where you're going.

Joker: The night is young, Bats. I still have a trick or two up my sleeve. I mean, don't you think it's a little bit funny how a fire at Blackgate caused hundreds of my crew to be moved here?

Frank Boles: I thought I told you to stay quiet!

Joker: Oh, Frankie, you really should learn to keep that fat mouth of yours shut. It'll get you into trouble.

Joker: I can take it... I can take anything you throw at me, Bats. You can't beat me this time, I'm actually going to win! Ready for the next round?

Batman: Always.

Joker: What!?

Batman: I'll never let you win. Never!

Joker: Now look at what you've done!

Scarface: ME? It was YOUR plan, yah goofy clown!

Joker: That's it! I'm sending you back to the Ventriloquist where you belong!

Joker: Having a little trouble up there?

Batman: Joker!

Joker: You were expecting maybe Two-Face?

Batman: Harley Quinn tried to slow me down. Dropped an elevator on me.

Oracle: [Amused] Did it work?

Batman: [Chuckles] Of course not.

Killer Croc: I've got your scent, Batman! I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN!! [is remotely electrocuted] A toy collar won't stop me from killing you, Batman. I'LL RIP YOU APART, EAT YOUR BONES!!!!.

Joker: That reminds me, I really need to get some new shoes.

Bane: I will break you, Batman, then the bruja!

Batman: No, Bane. This time I break you!

Commissioner Gordon: You took longer than I expected.

Batman: Joker's out of control, he's trying to prove something. I'm not sure I can stop him this time.

Commissioner Gordon: You'll do it. Listen, Batman, we're not alone. He's got someone down there...

Joker: What a blabbermouth! Spoiling the surprise!

Batman: Be quiet.

Joker: Am I getting to you? Am I? Good.

Young Gordon: Come on, kid, this way. Take a seat in my office.

Cop #1: Is he okay?

Cop #2: He'll be fine. Kid like that, with all that money? He'll be just fine.

Young Gordon: Shut up, now! He's eight years old and all alone! Money won't fix that.

Cop #2: Whatever you say, Gordon. His butler's on his way to pick him up. You hear that? He's got a butler.

Young Gordon: I'm sorry about that. I just need to ask you some questions. Can I get you anything? You okay?

Young Gordon: I know you don't feel like answering me, but it's the only way to catch who did this.

Young Bruce Wayne: [crying] Why did he do it, Officer? Why?

Young Gordon: I don't know. It's this city, there's something wrong with it. And listen, son, call me Jim.

Poison Ivy: You will pay, Batman. For hurting my babies.

Joker: Oh, God... Does she ever stop going on about those plants of hers?

Poison Ivy: When I finish with Batman, I'll be coming after you, Joker!

Joker: Will you really. Well, that's gratitude, isn't it? Women! You give 'em presents, experimental chemicals and nice costumes and they still turn on you.

Joker: How about a hand for Mr. Cash? He could sure use one. Ha ha ha.

Aaron Cash: You'll be laughing out of your butt when I get out of here!

Joker: Lighten up, homes. I'm just messin' with ya.

Aaron Cash: Can't wait to return the favor.

Penelope Young: Patient Interview #39, July 29th. Patient's name is Edward Nigma. Mr. Nigma, tell us about your childhood.

Riddler: Miserable. Next?

Penelope Young: By all accounts that is where your fascination with riddles began. I believe discussing those years could explain your compulsive behavior.

Riddler: Very well. My father hated me. He always called me a moron.

Penelope Young: I see.

Riddler: I was determined to prove him wrong. So I entered a contest at school. A $20 prize to the kid who can solve an almost impossible logic problem. And I won, of course.

Penelope Young: And did that please your father?

Riddler: Hardly. He was convinced that I had cheated. He kept yelling, "You must have cheated! Admit it, you moron, you cheated!" I swore to him that I didn't, and he hit me for lying.

Penelope Young: Well, I'm sorry to hear that.

Riddler: Don't be. He was right.

Penelope Young: Patient interview #21, patient's name is Edward Nygma, also known as the Riddler. So Edward, Warden Sharpe tells me you've been leaving threatening riddles scrawled on the asylum walls. Again.

Riddler: One would have to be severely paranoid to read threats into harmless riddles Dr Young. May I test you with one?

Penelope Young: Very well.

Riddler: What is it that walks on four legs, then two legs, and finally three legs.

Penelope Young: A human being. As a baby it crawls on four legs, as an adult it walks on two, and in later years it uses a cane.

Riddler: [laughs] Good try. But the answer to all three is a baby. True it crawls on all fours, but cut off it's legs and it can only wiggle on two limbs. Give it a crutch, it can hobble around on three. You see?

Penelope Young: That's horrible. How can you even joke about that?

Riddler: Easily doctor. It's not my baby.

Riddler: You seem distressed, Doctor. Anything you could use my help with?

Penelope Young: No thank you, Edward. I'm here to help you. We all are.

Riddler: Forgive my arrogance, Doctor, but if you think I need your help, well, you're in the right place.

Joker: He's crazy, you know.

Harley Quinn: Who, Batman?

Joker: No, Santa Claus. Of course Batman! Always Batman!

Batman: Tell me something, you've never let me capture you this easily. What are you really planning?

Joker: Oh, nothing much. Hundreds dying in pain and fear, all their meaningless lives brought to a horrifying conclusion. All thanks to you and a book of matches. Was that the answer you wanted?

Oracle: [reading an exchange between Dr. Young and Joker] She's begging to stop the experiment, saying it's too dangerous. Joker's not listening... random threats to her family, a couple of bad jokes... a picture of a dead baby and a threat.

Batman: Go on.

Oracle: He says "I'm coming for you. I want what I paid for." Then a joke about wheelchairs. Lovely. And a drawing of some kind of donkey.

Batman: No mystery why she's so scared. I'm heading up to the surface. I'll find her.

Scarecrow: Hello, Stephen, how are you today?

Dr. Stephen Kellerman: I keep telling you, this is MY session.

Scarecrow: It was your session, Doctor. But not anymore.

Guard: Doc, are you okay?

Scarecrow: [before Kellerman can respond] Oh he's fine. Just questioning his grip on reality. You should be doing the same any time now.

External links

Wikipedia

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Batman: Arkham Asylum

Batman: Arkham Asylum quotes at the Internet Movie Database