Batman: Arkham Asylum
Batman: Arkham Asylum is a 2009 action-adventure video game developed by Rocksteady Studios and released by Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment. Arkham Asylum is written by veteran Batman writer Paul Dini, and is based on the franchise's long-running comic book mythos. In the game's main storyline, Batman's arch enemy the Joker instigates an elaborate plot to seize control of Arkham Asylum and trap Batman inside with many of his incarcerated foes. With Joker threatening to detonate hidden bombs around fictional Gotham City, Batman is forced to fight his way through the asylum's inmates and put an end to Joker's plans. The game's leading characters are predominantly voiced by actors from the DC Animated Universe, with Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill reprising their roles as Batman and the Joker, respectively.
- I shall fold you like paper!
- I WILL CRUSH YOU!
- I WILL BREAK YOU THIS TIME, BATMAN!
- I'm fine. I eat punks like these for breakfast.
- I'm Batman.
- "Ooh, that's gotta hurt!"
- "This old man looks like he's gonna pee himself. Someone bring me a bucket."
- "My God! Is Joker crazy enough to try that...? What am I saying? You've got to stop him!"
- "Can you hear me, Batman? I know you can. It is I, Edward Nygma, the Riddler, and more importantly, your intellectual superior. My genius has allowed me to hack into your primative communications. Ha ha. My goal is simple: you complete a series of amusingly taxing challenges and... well, you'll see."
- "What? You're nearly done? Are you cheating? Looking them up on the internet? Tell me."
- "I am Edward Nygma. The world's greatest detective."
- "You are beginning to impress me, Batman. I'll let you help me find my socks if you keep this up."
- "You've ingested enough toxin to drive 10 men insane! What are you!?"
- "You married your wife because you were scared of dying alone. You had children because you're scared you won't leave behind anything important. You go to doctors because you're scared of dying... need I go on?"
- "What are you, Batman? Chicken?"
- "Is your mind playing tricks on you... or am I?"
- "Are you enjoying the extra dose, little Bat?"
- "Why fight it, Batman? You're as crazy as the rest of us. You need us just as much as we need you."
- "Our head of research, Dr. Crane, has made no real progress, but he seems to enjoy his work so, what the hell."
- "When I first heard the Joker aimed to take over this bughouse, like many of us, I thought he was crazy. When he outlined his vision of a hospital dedicated to ensuring inmates remain loopy for as long as possible, I thought he was wacky. But when he held me down and razor cut a new smile on my face, I decided he had a point; Situated in a small island in Gotham Bay, we stop at nothing to making sure no screwballs fly the coop."
- "Our new patient ward is "manned" by Waylon Jones. I'm assured that he's cured almost every patient sent to him, and boasts empty beds in all his wards."
- "I see anything that looks even a little bit like a bat and this guard dies. Do you hear me?"
- Joker: Seeing as how I'm feeling generous, I'll give you this one for free! Knock me off, I dare you, end this! Stop me once and for all! [Batman prepares to throw a batarang but doesn't, Joker laughs] Oh you're getting too predictable, Bats. Gotta go! I've got a party to arrange.
- Joker: Wee! Great night for a party.
- Batman: Not where you're going.
- Joker: The night is young, Bats. I still have a trick or two up my sleeve. I mean, don't you think it's a little bit funny how a fire at Blackgate caused hundreds of my crew to be moved here?
- Frank Boles: I thought I told you to stay quiet!
- Joker: Oh Frankie, you really should learn to keep that fat mouth of yours shut. It'll get you into trouble.
- Joker: I can take it... I can take anything you throw at me, Bats. You can't beat me this time, I'm actually going to win! Ready for the next round?
- Batman: Always.
- Joker: What!?
- Batman: I'll never let you win. Never!
- Joker: Now look at what you've done!
- Scarface: ME? It was YOUR plan, yah goofy clown!
- Joker: That's it! I'm sending you back to the Ventriloquist where you belong!
- Joker: Having a little trouble up there?
- Batman: Joker.
- Joker: You were expecting maybe Two Face?
- Batman: Harley Quinn tried to slow me down. Dropped an elevator on me.
- Oracle: [Amused] Did it work?
- Batman: [Chuckles] Of course not.
- Killer Croc: I've got your scent, Batman! I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN!! [is remotely electrocuted] A toy collar won't stop me from killing you, Batman. I'LL RIP YOU APART, EAT YOUR BONES!!!!.
- Joker: That reminds me, I really need to get some new shoes.
- Bane: I will break you, Batman, then the bruja!
- Batman: No, Bane, this time I break you!
- Commissioner Gordon: You took longer than I expected.
- Batman: Joker's out of control, he's trying to prove something. I'm not sure I can stop him this time.
- Commissioner Gordon: You'll do it. Listen, Batman, we're not alone. He's got someone down there...
- Joker: What a blabbermouth! Spoiling the surprise!
- Batman: Be quiet.
- Joker: Am I getting to you? Am I? Good.
- Young Gordon: Come on, kid, this way. Take a seat in my office.
- Cop #1: Is he okay?
- Cop #2: He'll be fine. Kid like that, with all that money? He'll be just fine.
- Young Gordon: Shut up, now! He's eight years old and all alone! Money won't fix that.
- Cop #2: Whatever you say, Gordon. His butler's on his way to pick him up. You hear that? He's got a butler.
- Young Gordon: I'm sorry about that. I just need to ask you some questions. Can I get you anything? You okay?
- Young Gordon: I know you don't feel like answering me, but it's the only way to catch who did this.
- Young Bruce Wayne: [crying] Why did he do it, Officer? Why?
- Young Gordon: I don't know. It's this city, there's something wrong with it. And listen, son, call me Jim.
- Poison Ivy: You will pay, Batman. For hurting my babies.
- Joker: Oh God... Does she ever stop going on about those plants of hers?
- Poison Ivy: When I finish with Batman, I'll be coming after you, Joker!
- Joker: Will you really. Well, that's gratitude, isn't it? Women! You give'em presents, experimental chemicals and nice costumes and they still turn on you.
- Joker: How about a hand for Mr. Cash? He could sure use one. Ha ha ha.
- Aaron Cash: You'll be laughing out of your butt when I get out of here!
- Joker: Lighten up, homes. I'm just messin' with ya.
- Aaron Cash: Can't wait to return the favor.
- Penelope Young: Patient Interview #39, July 29th. Patient's name is Edward Nigma. Mr. Nigma, tell us about your childhood.
- Riddler: Miserable. Next?
- Penelope Young: By all accounts that is where your fascination with riddles began. I believe discussing those years could explain your compulsive behavior.
- Riddler: Very well. My father hated me. He always called me a moron.
- Penelope Young: I see.
- Riddler: I was determined to prove him wrong. So I entered a contest at school. A $20 prize to the kid who can solve an almost impossible logic problem. And I won, of course.
- Penelope Young: And did that please your father?
- Riddler: Hardly. He was convinced that I had cheated. He kept yelling, "You must have cheated! Admit it, you moron, you cheated!" I swore to him that I didn't, and he hit me for lying.
- Penelope Young: Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
- Riddler: Don't be. He was right.
- Penelope Young: Patient interview #21, patient's name is Edward Nygma, also known as the Riddler. So Edward, Warden Sharpe tells me you've been leaving threatening riddles scrawled on the asylum walls. Again.
- Riddler: One would have to be severely paranoid to read threats into harmless riddles Dr Young. May I test you with one?
- Penelope Young: Very well.
- Riddler: What is it that walks on four legs, then two legs, and finally three legs.
- Penelope Young: A human being. As a baby it crawls on four legs, as an adult it walks on two, and in later years it uses a cane.
- Riddler: [laughs] Good try. But the answer to all three is a baby. True it crawls on all fours, but cut off it's legs and it can only wiggle on two limbs. Give it a crutch, it can hobble around on three. You see?
- Penelope Young: That's horrible. How can you even joke about that?
- Riddler: Easily doctor. It's not my baby.
- Riddler: You seem distressed, Doctor. Anything you could use my help with?
- Penelope Young: No thank you, Edward. I'm here to help you. We all are.
- Riddler: Forgive my arrogance, Doctor, but if you think I need your help, well, you're in the right place.
- Joker: He's crazy, you know.
- Harley Quinn: Who, Batman?
- Joker: No, Santa Claus. Of course Batman! Always Batman!
- Batman: Tell me something, you've never let me capture you this easily. What are you really planning?
- Joker: Oh, nothing much. Hundreds dying in pain and fear, all their meaningless lives brought to a horrifying conclusion. All thanks to you and a book of matches. Was that the answer you wanted?
- Oracle: [reading an exchange between Dr. Young and Joker] She's begging to stop the experiment, saying it's too dangerous. Joker's not listening... random threats to her family, a couple of bad jokes... a picture of a dead baby and a threat.
- Batman: Go on.
- Oracle: He says "I'm coming for you. I want what I paid for." Then a joke about wheelchairs. Lovely. And a drawing of some kind of donkey.
- Batman: No mystery why she's so scared. I'm heading up to the surface. I'll find her.
- Scarecrow: Hello, Stephen, how are you today?
- Dr. Stephen Kellerman: I keep telling you, this is MY session.
- Scarecrow: It was your session, Doctor. But not anymore.
- Guard: Doc, are you okay?
- Scarecrow: [before Kellerman can respond] Oh he's fine. Just questioning his grip on reality. You should be doing the same any time now.