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Baby's Day Out

1994 film by Patrick Read Johnson

Baby's Day Out is a 1994 American comedy adventure film, written by John Hughes, produced by Richard Vane and John Hughes, and directed by Patrick Read Johnson. The film stars twins Adam and Jacob Worton as Baby Bink with co-stars Joe Mantegna, Joe Pantoliano and Brian Haley as the film's three incompetent antagonists. The plot centers on a wealthy baby's kidnapping by three incompetent villains, his escape and adventure through a big city while being pursued by the three kidnappers. It was released on July 1, 1994.

Dialogue

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[Norby and Veeko are cleaning Eddie up for accidentally fell off the building]
Veeko: You okay?
Norby: Eddie. When we first seen you fall, our first thoughts were with you and your family, should you not survive.
Veeko: I prayed, Eddie.
Eddie: Shut up!
Veeko: I worked at Burger King three years. This is worse than that.
Eddie: Don't blame me. We'd be resting easy if Butterfingers here hadn't lost the kid.
Norby: I lost the kid? I lost the kid?! Oh, well, that's news to me.
Eddie: Who putted himself to sleep reading the kid's nursery story?!
Norby: Who left the window open?!
Veeko: That was me.
Eddie: You idiots are why we don't got the kid. As far as I'm concerned, you can drop out and I'll keep the five million myself. Frankly, you don't deserve a penny!
Veeko: You'd stiff us?
Norby: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Don't get hot, Eddie. Don't get hot. We're all just tired from getting torn apart.
Eddie: Oh, like I like to fall off buildings and jump in ditches! That's the breaks. We're dealing with a baby. Babies are obviously more dangerous than we thought.
Norby: It don't figure, Eddie. They're so small.
Eddie: When I boxed, the guys I most feared were those who feared nothing. Babies are like that, they ain't afraid of nothing. [they notice Bink's foot tracks] Baby tracks.
Bennington: [picking up the phone] Hello.
Joe Depke: Hello. Is this Mr. Cotwell?
Bennington: Yes. Who is this?
Joe Depke: My name's Depke. Joe. Joe Depke. Yeah. Listen, I might have some information on the whereabouts of that child.
Norm: I seen the baby.
Agent Dale Grissom: Where?
Norm: Right across the street on the curb.
Agent Dale Grissom: Where'd he go?
Norm: Where'd he go? It's the craziest thing, I don't remember.
Agent Dale Grissom: Maybe we'll take a ride. See if you remember then.
Bennington: Can I help? You want money? How much?
Norm: Don't embarrass me. Don't insult me. Please, your money's no good here. Put it away.
Bennington: Where's the baby?
Norm: House across the street. Second floor. McCrays. [sees Laraine, heads into McCrays' house] No guarantee! Listen, mister, I didn't know your kid! I just saw his picture on TV! I called because I care.
Mr. Andrews: Your name's McCray?
Mrs. McCray: Yeah. What did I do?
Mr. Andrews: We're looking for a missing child.
Mrs. McCray: These are my kids.
Mr. Andrews: Mind if we take a look? [enters the room]
Agent Dale Grissom: Hello, ma'am.
Young Girl: [waves at Larine] Hi.
Mr. Andrews: Sir, in here.
[They head into another room, Larine discovers the same baby similar to Bink]
Laraine: Baby. [watches in him in happiness] You have a beautiful little boy.
Mrs. McCray: Thank you, ma'am. I'll pray he comes back to you. These kids are all I've got, so I know how I'd feel if I was in your place.
Laraine: I hope you never are, for your children's sake.
Agent Dale Grissom: Sorry, we inconvenienced you.
Bennington: Be there in a second. I'm sorry for the trouble.
Mrs. McCray: Sir? I believe in my heart that someone somewhere watches over the babies.
Bennington: Yes, I hope so.
Norby: Did a baby get off this bus?! A little guy, about two feet tall! It's an emergency!
Bus Driver: I didn't have nobody today with a baby.
Norby: He was by himself!
Veeko: [noticing Bink is on Ursala's purse] Some people.
Norby: Eddie, how could he get off?
Veeko: I seen him.
Both: What?!
Veeko: He's in the big broad's purse.
Veeko: Hey, Eddie, maybe he went down a rabbit hole.
Eddie: We're serious about our work. You wanna make jokes? Join the circus.
Cop 1: Have you guys seen a baby around here?
Eddie: The park is full of...babies.
Cop 2: Yeah, well, there's been a kidnapping.
Norby: Well, that's a crying shame. It's amazing what people will do for money.
Veeko: Yeah, for five million...
Eddie: If we see anything... [Baby Bink turns on the lighter] Excuse me. If we see anything, we'll be sure to notify... [absolutely moans]
Cop 2: He's got a bad heart.
Eddie: Excuse me. The police. Thank you.
[At the construction site, Eddie is stuck with a hook while holding on it]
Eddie: [calls for help] Norby! Veeko!
Veeko: Hey! We're down here!
Norby: Hey, Ed! We better go before I dry!
Veeko: Ed, can you see the baby from up there? Just hang on and we'll come on up. I got an idea.
Agent Dale Grissom: We got some news. I don't know if it's good, but it's not bad. Since the media broke the story, calls have come in. There was a report of a man looking for a baby on a bus this morning. A baby missing from a department store care center. Another, at three o'clock, at the zoo. Shortly after that, at a downtown park. And a final report not long ago at...
Gilbertine: [realizing] A building under construction.
Agent Dale Grissom: [surprised] Yeah, that's right.
Gilbertine: He's doing everything in the book. I know where he is. "Before returning home for supper, Nanny and Baby Boo stopped at the Old Soldiers' Home to visit Mr. Tinsel." That's where he is.
Bennington: You had quite an adventure today.
Baby Bink: Boo boo.
Bennington: Boo boo?
Gilbertine: It's what he calls his book. He lost it today.
Laraine: We'll get you another one, sweetheart.
Baby Bink: Boo boo!
Laraine: What? Oh, I see. That's nice.
Baby Bink: Boo boo.
Laraine: That's not a boo boo. That's a clock. A ticktock. Was there a ticktock in his book?
Gilbertine: No. Well, he's pointing to...His boo boo, he's not pointing at the ticktock, he's pointing to his boo boo, he wants his boo boo.
Grissom: I thought he was getting a new boo boo.
Laraine: He means his boo boo's back there, that's where he's been.
Grissom: Radio Rogers and McCloskey, tell them we're going to the ticktock to get the boo boo, and send for backup.
Norby: Hey, Eddie, you sure you don't wanna go check to see if they left the money?
Eddie: Oh, that's a good idea. We get the living hell tore out of us by a baby! Three fully grown men versus fifteen pounds of pink flesh with a mouth. Now, what chance have we got of strolling into that alley and coming out with anything less than one and forty years in prison?
Veeko: No way.
Eddie: No, thank you! This is a hexed situation. We walk away while we're still ahead.
Veeko: We took a licking and kept on ticking.
Eddie: We'll go back to banks. Dealing with grownups, I don't want no kiddy stuff.
Norby: We did all right with banks.
Veeko: Or a convenience store once in a while, keeps things interesting.
Eddie: [to Norby and Veeko] You know, I tell you one thing I learned from all this, I ain't never gonna have any kids of my own.
Norby: Yeah, seeing as you burnt down the only tree in your forest, I wouldn't worry about it.
Eddie: [about Bink] Why don't you shut up? I don't wanna ever hear another word about that rotten, snake-bit baby.
[Last lines]
Laraine: Good night, sweetheart.
Bennington: Good night, Bink.
[They turn off the lights and close the door]
Laraine: Did I tell you? The baby's having his picture taken tomorrow.
Bennington: Say hello to old Willy.
Laraine: I will.
[Bink wakes up, gets ready to read another book, this one entitled "Baby's Trip to China", much to his overjoy]

Cast

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