1997 film by Robert Townsend
B*A*P*S is a 1997 comedy film, written by Troy Beyer, and directed by Robert Townsend. This film stars Halle Berry and Martin Landau.
- My food is created to nourish the soul, okay? I haven't used pork since Thelma was on Good Times about to marry Ibe, the African prince and I said, "No, no, no, I'm waiting on my African prince to be my baby's daddy, so I stopped use pork, because I started using chicken broth! So I don't know what you're talking about." See what I cook is much healthier than that *bird* stuff Alfred is cookin' for him!"
- ...A-re-ah-der-chee to you too... and some mozzerella and fettichinni... Hell yea!
- Nate: Now why did you have to burn my toast, baby?
- Nisi: Now you know said you wanted everything well done.
- Isaac: I'm calling the police. You two have been stealing - from my uncle.
- Manley: No... The girls had nothing to do with it. [looks at Antonio] It was Antonio.
- Isaac: Antonio...
- Antonio: Isaac, our plan could still work! It could be our words against theirs. Her fingerprints are still on the safe, man!
- Isaac: I don't know what you're talking about! What plan? I'm calling the police...
- [looking up at painting on a wall]
- James: Now, look at the picture! Look at the picture! Who does this picture remind you of?
- James and Ali: Laquisha Jenkins!
- Ali: UGGH... THAT'S NASTY!
- Nisi: You remember when we took those CPR classes?
- Mickey: Yeah - All the cute guys were in there.
- Nisi: Didn't you learn anything?
- Mickey: No... But I met James.
- Nisi: Shh... we gonna check his heart to see if it's still beating... Go on. Check it.
- Mickey: You check it.
- Nisi: You check it.
- Mickey: You check it...
- Nisi: YOU CHECK IT! It's on yo side!
- Mickey: [Mickey laid her head against Mr. B's neck to see if he was still alive] He's alive!
- Nisi: I'm going to bed!
- Mickey: Nisi? Nisi? Nisi!
- Nisi: Now at the audition I didn't do the best I could...
- Heavy D: Hey! Ain't you that girl that hit the other girl in the face with your hair?
- Nisi: Uh huh...
- Heavy D: Oh no... I seen all you can do, Hon...
- Mickey: Naw, naw. She can really dance...
- Heavy D: No, I seen all you could do - you could hurt somebody
- Mickey: No, she can dance and I'm the next Monifa
- Nisi: She is!
- Heavy D: Oh - you the next Monifa?
- Mickey: Yea... look here - This the "Mickey remix..." Check this out... IT'S BEEN TOO LONG SINCE YOU BEEN GO-ONE... FEELS GOOD WHEN I'M WITH-CHU... I MISS YOU COME BACK HOME...
- Mickey: You think Ali and James miss us?
- Nisi: I don't know, but I know I miss my man...
- Mickey: Uh uh... you NEED to scoot over cause I ain't got no problem sleepin' on this expensive white carpet, cause I know it's poodle hair.
- James: See you deserve this kinda stuff... [hanging head to "cry"] but I just can't give it to you... You deserve nice stuff... You deserve a big ol' house... and you - you deserve your own back yard... and - and everyone else got a - a little white dog, why you can have one? I wanna take you out to dinner... everytime we go out, we gotta watch - other people eat... HELL I wanna eat too! And - and you need some clothes... W-w-why should you have to wear your Sunday clothes on Wednesday? Now look girl... don't think a dude a punk cause he crying like a little girl - but you my queen... and I Lah-Love you!
- Mickey: Oh James you ain't never said nothin' like this... Don't said it if you don't mean it!
- [knocks James into a fountain]
- James: I MEAN IIIIIIIIIIIIT!
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