Atlanta Nights

Atlanta Nights is a collaborative novel created in 2004 by a group of science fiction and fantasy authors, with the express purpose of producing an unpublishably bad piece of work, so as to test whether publishing firm PublishAmerica would still accept it. It was accepted; after the hoax was revealed, the publisher withdrew its offer.

Quotes

• “Honey, don’t you like hamburgers?” Bruce wanted to know, crestfallen. “That beef is chalked full of protein!” Bruce grinned contagiously. “And we could both use some protein, after last night! If you know what I mean!”

• He didn't ever want to be stuck with riffraff like that so he had used the computer skills he had learned from cracking play station games and writing viruses on the internet to build his company to a person was today.

• Pain.
  Whispering voices.
  Pain.
  Pain. Pain. Pain.
  Need pee--new pain--what are they sticking in me? . . .
  Sleep.
  Pain.

• Isadore:"Fortunately, fast and efficient Emergency Medical Services, based on a program founded by Lyndon Baines Johnson the 36th President of the United States helped y'all survive an otherwise, deadly crash"

• The longtime security guard saluted the pair as they passed. What lucky people, he thought, so young and rich, they can afford to live here. Not like me. I have to live across town and wear a uniform and salute the young rich kids who make more money in a minute than I can make in my whole life.

• Both men and women and couples were eating lunch.

• Yvonne Perrin stood up and walked over to the waiter and took the shot glass full of vodka and poured it out in a planter that held a spindly rubber tree that never got enough light to grow properly even though it was near one of the windows that looked out onto the lake where some ducks were floating like they were waiting for someone to throw them some bread but there was nobody there at this time of day.

• Those big, jiggle breasts, so close to him.

• Then he took her home, and they had held hands like little kids and kissed outside her door. He couldn't remember any woman or boy as hot as she was. None of those teen-agers had ever been like this. He defiantly wanted to see her again.

• As he held those big, jiggle breasts, so close to him, he whispered into her ear "I love those Big Ole Bujuby jublies".