Asha Phillips

Asha Phillips (? – living), British child psychotherapist.

I don't help you grow:

Incipit:

It seems so obvious that sometimes you have to say no, yet the most common opinion is that, if you can, you should say yes. There is an unspoken rule that kind, polite, and caring people don't say no. It is a rule present in all aspects of existence, from the intimacy of the home to the public sphere of politics; Even the advertisement proclaims the bank that likes to say yes.

Quotes:

• infants are finely tuned to the behavior and moods of those around them.
• To become stronger, you have to recognize that you can't do everything immediately. To acquire something from others, you have to think that they have something to offer.

In order to grow, children need to be looked at and listened to, they need answers.

• Receiving a response to his communication, feeling that we reflect on interventions that have worked in the past gives the newborn the feeling of being helped and prevents him from feeling a sense of disintegration.
• [A newborn baby] You have to feel like an individual distinct from your parents, you have to believe in yourself and be convinced that the world has a lot to offer.
• A no is not necessarily a rejection of the other or a prevarication, but can instead demonstrate confidence in his strength and abilities.

Bibliography:

• Asha Phillips, I no che aiuta a crescere , translated by Lucia Cornalba, Feltrinelli, Milan, C.E.1999.