At the lunch line at school Arthur is served a yellow sauce
Muffy: Eww! That is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen in my life! [opens an ornate lunchbox] Luckily our chef prepared my lunch at home for me.
Francine: What a lightweight! There are a lot more disgusting things than Salisbury steak!
Sue Ellen: Yeah, smelly socks!
Arthur: Baby diapers.
Buster: Cat whiskers!
Francine and Sue Ellen: Cat whiskers??
Buster: Ugh!
The kids sit down at tables
Francine: You wanna know what's really, really disgusting?
George: [comes by with a nosebleed] Er, does anybody have a tissue?
Kids: Eww!
Francine: [fakes a nosebleed] Hey, can someone help me? I need to bleed all over you!
Kids: [laughing]
George: What? It's just a bloody nose. I can't help it.
Francine: I wanna bleed all over your food! [squirts ketchup on the table]
Muffy: Stop, you're getting it on my foie gras!
Sue Ellen hands George a paper handkerchief
George: Thank you. [walks past Francine]
Prunella: You sound just like him!
Muffy: You're so funny, Francine. Do some more!
Francine: I...just need to, er...contaminate you. Let me wipe...my...nose... [turns green and holds her hand in front of her mouth]
Muffy: [looks shocked and gasps]
Francine: [manages to walk a few steps towards the door, then she throws up] Bleurgghhh!
The three kids at the table nearby table run away from the scene in shock
Kids: Eww!
The other kids move away from her
(In the cafeteria, Mrs. MacGrady opens a window, Mr. Ratburn sprays room freshener and Mr. Morris mops the floor. The kids all sit on one end of the room. Meanwhile, Francine lies in the nurse’s room on a couch with a cold towel on her forehead and with a thermometer in her mouth and pauses for a moment. The nurse takes her temperature.)
Ms. Flynn (Nurse): Okay, your temperature is fine and your pulse is fine. You probably just have the 24-hour bug that's been going around.
Francine: What about food poisoning?
Ms. Flynn: If you had food poisoning, you'd know it. You'd barely be able to move.
Mrs. Frensky: [comes in]
Francine: It's all right, Mom. I just puked, that's all. In front of the whole school. [buries her face in her hands as her mother comforts her and sees several kids at the window]
Prunella: Ahem!
Francine: [turns red in anger] Grrr!
Kids: [gasps and scatter]
Nigel Ratburn: Stop it, all of you! You should be ashamed of yourselves. Come with me, Miss Frensky. (Mr. Ratburn leads Francine into a metal room and closes a strong metal door behind her.) You'll feel much more at home in here, I think. (He locks the quarantine room door with George.)
Mr. Haney: What in Aunt Betsy is going on here?! [kids complaining] Quiet everybody! Now since this class is normally a well-behaved group of children, I'm going to give you an opportunity to work together to clean up this mess. But if you don't, you'll all be staying after school and I'll help you work it out. I'll be back. [He closes the door and sees the moldy sandwich stuck to it.] Yuck.
D.W.: Arthur, I need your help! What can you tell me about kissing?
Arthur: What? Nothing!
D.W.: C'mon, you must know something about the birds in the trees. Like, how can I get a boy to kiss me?
Arthur: I don't know! Ask mom. I'm doing homework.
D.W.: Oh! You're no help. [finds a book on the ground of two people kissing] Aha! You do too know something about kissing. You have a book all about it.
Arthur: This is the story of Romeo and Juliet, D. W. It's based on a play by William Shakespeare. We're reading it in school.
D.W.: And? What's it about?
Arthur: [sighs] If I tell you, do you promise to leave me alone? [D. W. nods] Okay. [starts talking fast] There's this boy named Romeo and this girl named Juliet and their parents don't like each other, but they fall in love anyway and plan to run away together, but there's a misunderstanding and it all ends badly. The end.
Arthur: And best of all, the bleep could be used when your mom and dad are going to visit your school and (bleep) (The bleep does not stop.) Huh?! Hey, what's going on?! Stop it! Stop!!!!!
Mother: Stop that! You'll break something.
Boy: Whatever.
Mother: That's enough back talk, young man. You can forget about going to that concert tonight.
Boy: What?! You can't do that!
Mother: I can, and I have!
Boy: >BLEEP<
Mother: [gasps then drops the cup and smashes it as D.W. laughs]
Grandma Thora: Come on, D.W., I'm done.
D.W.: Okay. [takes a deep breath] >BLEEP< [Jane, David, Arthur gasp]
Mrs. Read: Dora Winifred Read, what did you just say to me?!
D.W.: Uh... Can I have a soda? Tibbles!
Mrs. Read: What are you doing?!
D.W.: Uh, Arthur did it?
Mrs. Read: Well, D.W., you're off the hook this time, because you didn't know what you were saying. But I hope you know now that swear words are not appropriate, especially for 5-year-old children.
D.W.: Why?
Mrs. Read: Because most people are offended by them. It's as simple as that.
D.W.: But why? What do they mean?
Mrs. Read: I guess you could say they mean "I want to hurt your feelings". Good night, D.W.
D.W.: Why didn't somebody tell me that in the first place?
