Apple & Onion

Apple & Onion is an American surreal comedy television series created by George Gendi. It follows Apple and Onion, a pair of childlike newcomers to a big city, in a world populated by anthropomorphic food, attempting to fit in to their new surroundings. On Season 2 of fame Sue Perkins and Timothy DeLaGhetto.

Pilot (2015)

Apple: UGH! (overlapping) I really got to stop putting this thing so loud!

Onion: True...what is it?

(They look at an invite to Hot Dog's party)

Apple: It's an invite, to Hot Dog's party...tonight!!

Onion: But we never get invited to parties...

Apple: Well we did this time!

(Cut to Hot Dog and Burger in Hot Dog's apartment)

Hot Dog: Hey, do you know how to uninvite people?

Burger: Maybe. Yeah, why?

Hot Dog: I accidentally invited these two guys, Apple and Onion.

Burger: Here, let me see... I think there's a setting where you can just take them off the list. Hopefully they haven't seen it yet!

(Cut back to Apple and Onion in their apartment)

Onion: I printed out the invite so we know exactly where to go!

Apple: Who else is going?

(Cut to Apple and Onion's computer screen)

Onion: (gasp) French Fry!

Apple: Haha, you love French Fry, don't you Onion?

Onion: Yeah!

Apple: But she's a girl!

Onion: I know, but I just love her. It's not MY fault.

Apple: (laughs) Hey, why don't you ask her out at the party?

Onion: What, you think she'd actually go out with me?

Apple: Yeah, and this is the perfect time to ask her. We're already really nice people, but just imagine when she

see's us dance!

Onion: Yeah, and then we can hang around together! Accept invitation.

(Apple attempts to accept the invitation, but it their access is denied)

Apple: That's weird, it wont let me back in...luckily we've printed out all the details. Now let's go practice our dance moves.

(Apple shakes onion's finger)

(Cut to Apple and Onion dancing on the sidewalk)

Apple: Onion.

Onion: Yeah?

Apple: I think if we're really gonna get French Fry's attention at the party, we'll need to stand out more.

Onion: What do you propose?

(Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)

(Cut to Apple and Onion dancing on the sidewalk, this time with balloons, party hats, party blowers, etc.)

French Fry: Hey, it's Apple and Onion!

Burger: Who?

French Fry: Hey guys! What 'ya doin'?

Onion: (gasp) Hi French Fry.

French Fry: Hi Onion.

(Apple giggles, looking back and forth at both of them.)

Burger: Hey, I recognize you two. Now where have I se-(gasp)

Burger's Inner Voice: I think there's a setting where you can just take them off the list...

French Fry: Hey, I saw you guys were invited to Hot Dog's pa-(Burger nudges French Fry with his elbow)

Apple: To Hot Dog's party? Yeah, me and Onion can't wait. (Apple uses his shark toy to make it "talk") Can we Onion?...What?...huh?

Burger: What? W-W-What do you mean what?

Onion: You didn't want French Fry to-

Apple: You didn't want French Fry to what?

Onion: To mention the party.

Burger: No, well yeah, but it's not like that it's just because, uh, this party tonight, it's not gonna be that type of thing you know like balloons, and toys, and stuff. You know what I mean?

Apple: I don't.

Burger: How do I put it? It'll be more like a dinner party. Like a sit-down meal kind-of-thing. More... more grown up! Uh, we better get going!

(Burger grabs French Fry's wrist and pulls her along.)

French Fry: Uh, okay, see you later guys!

Apple:...more grown up?

(Onion glares up at each balloon tied to his arms and sighs heavily.)

Onion: We can't go to this party now.

Apple: Why?

Onion: Look at all this!

Apple: But what about asking French Fry out?

Onion: I'm like a little kid! Oh.

Apple: But then, so am I. Oh...Onion, we're gonna grow up.

(Cut to Apple and Onion walking out of the thrift store.)

Onion: We're glad we sold all our toys, aren't we apple.

Apple: Yes, because now we have money! Cash money. All we need to do now is go to the bank and open up a bank account.

Onion: And then we'll be grown-ups?

Apple: I just think that if we want to be grown-ups, we have to start to doing grown up things. And then hopefully by tonight we can go to this proud, and then you can ask French Fry out.

Onion: I'm already proud, Apple. Of you and your grown-up ideas.

Apple: Yeah! We're already doing it, baby!

Apple and Onion in unison: Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes...Yes...

Apple: This isn't very grown up, is it?

Bacon, Charcuterie Cheese, Soda, and Burrito in unison: No...

Apple: Okay. Grown-ups. Grown-ups. Grown-ups. Grown-ups. Grown-ups. Grown-ups. Grown-ups. Grown-ups.

(Cut to the bank.)

(Cut to Apple and Onion entering the bank and skipping the line.)

Chocolate: Next!

Apple and Onion in unison: That's us!

Iced Tea: Hey!

Apple: This is it.

(Onion holds up the bag of money)

Apple: No, hold it up properly!

(Apple lifts the bag)

Onion: What's wrong with the way I'm holding it?

Apple: It's not grown up. Just hold it up!

Onion: I'm holding it properly!

(Apple and Onion continue to bicker)

Apple: This is a hold up!

(Apple holds the bag up as high as he possibly can)

Chocolate: What did you just say?

Apple: I said this is a hold up. Oh.

(Cut to Apple and Onion in a jail cell.)

Apple: Jail.

(Apple and Onion scream)

Beef Jerky: Who's there? What is it?

Onion: We're really sorry!

Apple: Please don't hurt us!

Onion: We were just trying to be grown-ups!

Beef Jerky: Don't be scared.

Apple: Okay.

Beef Jerky: I really didn't mean to--oh! meet mittens! He's my friend. They wouldn't let me bring him into jail so I had him tattooed to my chest.