Almost Heroes (TV series)

Almost Heroes (2011) is a Canadian TV series currently airing on Showcase about two brothers running a comic book store.

Season 1

Terry and Peter vs. a Living Wage [1.4]

Terry:[Reading the label on a bottle of medication he is putting in Pete's cupcakes] Side effects include...sleep heroics.

Terry and Peter vs. Their Hero [1.5]

[Peter has just mentioned that the actor who played his childhood hero Colonel Cannon is coming to town for a commercial]

Terry: Still don't care.

Peter: You willlll! Remember how his arch-nemesis was the [Peter makes quotation marks with his hands]] "Rat-King"?

Terry: Oh, no no no. We're not giving away rats.

Peter: I already bought 'em!

Terry: You what!?

Peter: Don't worry, all 200 of them are safe and sound inside this [Taps on empty cage] cage. Hmm... They're all gone.

Terry: Course they are.

Peter: Must've left the lid off. Probably for the best.

Terry: Go on.

Peter: Well, all the rats that were left over I was going to feed to our new pet snake.

Terry: What snake?

Peter: That twelve-foot boa constrictor in that cage over there. [Camera pans to another, larger empty cage] Oh, it's gone too.

Terry: Just out of curiousity, what was in that [points to even larger empty cage with bent bars] cage?

Peter: You don't want to know [Grabs a battle axe].

---

Peter: It's a comic book shop. Everything about it is supposed to be fun. I used to brush my teeth with Tang.

Terry: Why would you brush your teeth with Tang?

Peter: [Matter of factly] Because I wanted the smile of an astronaut. Uch... Ever since you came back it's been all 'money, money, bitches and honey'.

Terry: OK, that is a terrific impression of me. But it's not true.

Peter: Oh yeah? You're all about the bottom line! You're Mr. "Buy High, Sell Low".

Terry: You see? That is exactly why you're not allowed near the money.

Peter: Then I'll just get away from you and your precious "The Money". [Jumps off counter] Ahh, dammit, why'd I put all the rat-traps back here?

Terry and Peter vs. the Law [1.6]

Rayna: Two break-ins in one week, Boyd? Tonight I need you to stake-out the mall.

Boyd: Stake out? Tonight's no good. I've already made plans. Staying up all night in my van, eating junk food, monitoring the comings and goings of the mall...

Rayna: That's what a stake-out is.

Boyd: Well... Things just got interesting.

Terry and Peter vs. the Season Finale [1.8]

Peter: Please Terry, I'm not completely useless. Remember, I built my own scissor hands? [Cuts to flashback] ...Oh, my fly's open. Now to do it up, which I'm sure will be a total success, and completely uneventful.

Terry: What a horrible example.

---

Rayna: [Starts to drink cappucino, and then pulls out drenched sock] Is this a sock?

Peter: No refunds.

Rayna: I haven't paid yet.

Peter: That'll be four dollars.

---

Boyd: I'm really going to miss you Peter.

Terry: Terry.

Boyd: Right! Oh, and if in your travels you come across a one-legged man who answers to the name of Vargus, tell him I want my life back.

Cast

• Paul Campbell - Terry
• Ryan Belleville - Pete
• Dave Hemstad - Dan
• Lauren Ash - Bernie
• Meghan Heffern - Candi
• Athena Karkanis - Rayna
• Colin Mochrie - Boyd

External links

• Almost Heroes quotes at the Internet Movie Database
• Official site