Almost Heroes (TV series)

television series

Almost Heroes (2011) is a Canadian TV series currently airing on Showcase about two brothers running a comic book store.

Season 1


Terry and Peter vs. a Living Wage [1.4]

Terry:[Reading the label on a bottle of medication he is putting in Pete's cupcakes] Side effects include...sleep heroics.

Terry and Peter vs. Their Hero [1.5]

[Peter has just mentioned that the actor who played his childhood hero Colonel Cannon is coming to town for a commercial]
Terry: Still don't care.
Peter: You willlll! Remember how his arch-nemesis was the [Peter makes quotation marks with his hands]] "Rat-King"?
Terry: Oh, no no no. We're not giving away rats.
Peter: I already bought 'em!
Terry: You what!?
Peter: Don't worry, all 200 of them are safe and sound inside this [Taps on empty cage] cage. Hmm... They're all gone.
Terry: Course they are.
Peter: Must've left the lid off. Probably for the best.
Terry: Go on.
Peter: Well, all the rats that were left over I was going to feed to our new pet snake.
Terry: What snake?
Peter: That twelve-foot boa constrictor in that cage over there. [Camera pans to another, larger empty cage] Oh, it's gone too.
Terry: Just out of curiousity, what was in that [points to even larger empty cage with bent bars] cage?
Peter: You don't want to know [Grabs a battle axe].

Peter: It's a comic book shop. Everything about it is supposed to be fun. I used to brush my teeth with Tang.
Terry: Why would you brush your teeth with Tang?
Peter: [Matter of factly] Because I wanted the smile of an astronaut. Uch... Ever since you came back it's been all 'money, money, bitches and honey'.
Terry: OK, that is a terrific impression of me. But it's not true.
Peter: Oh yeah? You're all about the bottom line! You're Mr. "Buy High, Sell Low".
Terry: You see? That is exactly why you're not allowed near the money.
Peter: Then I'll just get away from you and your precious "The Money". [Jumps off counter] Ahh, dammit, why'd I put all the rat-traps back here?

Terry and Peter vs. the Law [1.6]

Rayna: Two break-ins in one week, Boyd? Tonight I need you to stake-out the mall.
Boyd: Stake out? Tonight's no good. I've already made plans. Staying up all night in my van, eating junk food, monitoring the comings and goings of the mall...
Rayna: That's what a stake-out is.
Boyd: Well... Things just got interesting.

Terry and Peter vs. the Season Finale [1.8]

Peter: Please Terry, I'm not completely useless. Remember, I built my own scissor hands? [Cuts to flashback] ...Oh, my fly's open. Now to do it up, which I'm sure will be a total success, and completely uneventful.
Terry: What a horrible example.

Rayna: [Starts to drink cappucino, and then pulls out drenched sock] Is this a sock?
Peter: No refunds.
Rayna: I haven't paid yet.
Peter: That'll be four dollars.

Boyd: I'm really going to miss you Peter.
Terry: Terry.
Boyd: Right! Oh, and if in your travels you come across a one-legged man who answers to the name of Vargus, tell him I want my life back.


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