Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog is an American animated series produced by DiC Animation City and Bohbot Entertainment that was based on the Sonic the Hedgehog video game series produced by Sega. Running from 1993 to 1996, 65 episodes and one special were produced for first-run syndication.

Dialogue

The Super Special Sonic Search and Smash Squad

[A blue hedgehog is running up a mountain path at a very quick pace, then runs down again. He takes a quick corner near a steep cliff. He eventually makes it to the ground and runs along a path. A brown fox catches up to him, flying with his tails. He waves at the heddgehog and shakes his hands. He lets go as he suddenly stops and goes into a Triple Spin. The fox covers his eyes as the hedgehog suddenly dashes off at a very fast speed, causing the pathway to lift off the ground as he passes by.]

Miles "Tails" Prower: Hey Sonic, wait up!

[Tails charges up with his tails and speeds up, chasing down Sonic. Sonic, meanwhile, stops at a dark-looking tree on top of a hill. Tails catches up.]

Sonic the Hedgehog: Civilization.

Tails: Boy, I thought we'd never find it.

[They are overlooking other hills and a city in the far distance. Behind the two, a tall, lanky, roughly humanoid robotic rooster is hiding in an artificial bush. He pokes out his head, with a communication headset on.]

Scratch: I'm ready, are you ready?

[A small, short, stocky teal robot with tank tracks for feet, is nearby, with a communication headset as well, manning a portable control panel with a big red button.]

Grounder: Ready! ... Um... Tell me what I'm ready for.

Scratch: Spring the trap!!

Grounder: I knew that!

[Grounder presses the button on his panel, which springs two hands from the tree, grabbing Sonic and Tails and suspending them in the air. Scratch and Grounder walk over to the tree.]

Scratch: We got ya, hedgehog!

Grounder: Yeah! The chase is over!

[They start dancing with joy.]

Scratch and Grounder: We did it! We did it! We did it! We did it!

Sonic: Hold it guys, you don't want to do this.

Scratch: Oh, don't we?

Sonic: We mean too much to each other.

Grounder: We do?

Sonic: Yeah, don't you remember how we first met?

Grounder:Nope.

Sonic: Well, it all started before you were born.

[Enter a flashback. Sonic and Tails are standing on the outskirts of an abandoned village.]

Sonic: [narrating] Tails and I had come to this deserted village...

Tails: Where is everybody?

[A citizen on a second-floor house pokes out of their window.]

Citizen: We're hiding, and if you have any sense, you'll hide, too!

[The citizen closes the window covers and goes back to their cover. A zipper closes the window covers and a lock shuts it even more.]

Tails: Hiding? What from?

[The ground shakes as Sonic and Tails look over and see a large bot with a spiked vest- known as Dragon Breath in Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine- ripping off an entire wall from a house. He walks in and points at a dog hiding behind a chair.]

Dragon Breath: Hey, lady! Which way is the bounty hunters' convention? [Lady screams and runs away] Hmm! People aren't very friendly in this town. Guess I'll just have to find it myself.

[He crashes through the wall behind the couch and continues on. Sonic and Tails hide behind a broken wall.]

[Sonic and Tails have been listening]

Tails: What's a bounty hunters' convention?

Sonic: A party for bad guys, Tails, and I'm gonna crash it!

[In a plain area, a tent is set up with a flag on-top, depicting a globe in a hand-vice. It is very windy. Robotnik, a human scientist in a red, black and yellow bodysuit, gray tights and a pair of gray gloves with metal gauntlets, is addressing a large group of bots in attendance on a stage.]

Dr. Robotnik: I've called you all together because you're the worst assortment of low-life mercenaries I've ever made! You're mean! You're malicious! You're my kind of rotten! (Crowd cheers) Ever since I launched my genius plan to conquer the planet Mobius, one troublemaking teenager has made me tear every hair from my beautiful head! (takes out a remote control and presses a button, which causes a curtain behind him to open, revealing a photo of Sonic. The crowd boos in response.) You took the words right out of my mouth! I HATE THAT HEDGEHOG!! (looms toward the camera, revealing the word 'HATE' written on his teeth, which promptly shatter) He ruins my schemes! (The crowd boos again, including Sonic, who has snuck inside.) He escapes my traps! (The crowd and Sonic boo again, with one spectator throwing a tomato at the Sonic photo behind Robotnik.) He helps nice people! (his head opens up, revealing a flag bearing the word 'Booo!' on it. The crowd and Sonic boo on this cue.) But no more, no more! I am hereby declaring Sonic the Hedgehog as Mobius' most wanted fugitive. (pushes a button that causes the word 'WANTED' to appears above the photo of Sonic's head) To ensure his immediate capture, I am offering you the biggest reward in bounty hunter history... (presses a button that makes the words 'REWARD 1,000,000,000!!' appear on the Sonic photo) ...1,000,000,000 Mobiums, alive or otherwise.

Sonic: Question from the crowd.

[Robotnik looks at the audience in anger and annoyance.]

Robotnik: What is it?!

[The bots in the audience look at Sonic in surprise, then anger.]

Sonic: I'm worth way more than that.

[Robotnik's head turns red as he sees Sonic. The top of his head explodes with smoke.]

Robotnik: THERE HE IS! GET HIM! I WANT THAT HEDGEHOG!

Sonic Whoa!

[The two bots beside Sonic stand up and try to beat him up in a flurry of smoke cover, but they fail as Sonic escapes with a Triple Spin, then dropkicks Robotnik to the ground. He grabs Robotnik's moustache and taps his foot on the ground.]

Sonic: I'm waiting.

[Sonic pulls the moustache and lets go, causing Robotnik great pain. He smiles triumphantly while Robotnik starts crying a waterfall. The crowd starts running at the stage.]

Robotnik: Get him! Get him!

[The crowd continues at the stage, Sir-F-Fuzzy Logik seen among the running robots.]

Crowd: We got him! We got him!

[Sonic charges up and dashes away. Robotnik attempts to grab him before he leaves the stage, but he can't grab him in time. Sonic dashes through the crowd, going underneath their legs and tripping various bots, one of them known as Humpty. He stops at a large green bot and holds his hand up at it while pointing elsewhere.]

Sonic: I'm over there.

[The bot looks over as Sonic runs away. The bot scratches its head in confusion. The crowd runs at Sonic, knocking over the green bot, leaving it as a mess of mechanical parts. Tails, standing at the entrance, watches as Sonic runs at him, grabbing him and leaving.]

Sonic: Let's go, bro.

[Sonic, with Tails in tow, runs through a dessert.]

Tails: Sonic, you're going so slow.

Sonic: Makes you sick, doesn't it? But I want to make sure they follow me.

[They pass by a forest with a small group of the bots still in pursuit. They stop, with Dragon Breath leading the group.]

Dragon Breath: Split up and surround 'em!

[A few of the bots- Skweel, Dynamight and Frankly- enter an arc of trees and stop as Sonic arrives in carnival gear with a small tent.]

Sonic: Step right up! Step right up! Don't crowd, don't push! You'll all get a chance to see the greatest show on Mobius, and remember, for all bounty hunters, admission is free!

[Sonic points at the entrance to the tent, opening it. The bots run in...as the other side leads to a cliff edge. They run off the edge and fall down.]

Sonic: Guess you guys won't be staying for a second show!

[The bots crash, making the ground shake. Sonic dashes off to take care of the other bots. Two bots- Arms and Davy Sprocket- are walking along the forest as Sonic dashes and stops infront of them. He hands them handles attached to a rope.]

Sonic: Don't let go!

[Sonic dashes off, with the other end of the ropes tied to his body, pulling the bots with him. He jumps over a large rock, weaves between trees and goes through a hollow log. The bots end up slamming into the rock, the trees and are dragged through the log, leaving it in a tangled mess. Using his speed, Sonic dashes over a river, forcing the bots to water ski. They hit a buoy and sink, but are still holding onto the ropes, so they are dragged underwater until they make it back to the surface. They exit the water and approach a large rock wall. Sonic stops and immediately changes direction at the wall. The bots scream in fear as they approach and slam into it.]

Sonic: Tsk, tsk, tsk. Told ya not to let go! [He acknowledges the audience.] Ya know, I sure have fun.

Dragon Breath: The fun's over, hedgehog.

[Sonic gasps as Dragon Breath is standing over him with a wooden club. Sonic acknowledges the audience again.]

Sonic: Is he serious? [Dashes off and stops at a tree, wearing Robin Hood gear] Ya ever play William Tell?

[Sonic puts an apple on top of his head as Dragon Breath gets mad. He throws the club at Sonic as he whistles, waiting. As the club approaches, he dashes off at fast speed, leaving the apple in midair. The club hits the apple and crashes into the tree. Sonic runs back and grabs the apple, which has split in half, winks at the audience and runs off as the tree starts falling down from the club impact. Dragon Breath screams as he sees the tree falling. It crashes into him. Sonic catches up to Tails, who is watching from a small hill.]

Tails: We sure showed them, didn't we, Sonic?

Sonic: We sure did, kid!

[They both eat that apple that Sonic used earlier. From his Egg-o-Matic far away, Robotnik watches on with binoculars.]

Robotnik: Miserable hedgehog... Okay, so I had a small setback. The battle has just begun!

[Robotnik flies back to his fortress.]

Robotnik: It will take all my vile and wicked genius to create the perfect robots to capture that hedgehog.

[In the middle of the room is a conveyor belt with a machine at the end. Robotnik is nearby searching a closet.]

Robotnik: I'll make them strong!

[He pulls out a heavy piece of machinery, which he drops on the floor below him. He loses his balance, but regains it and searches in the closet again. He pulls out a large stuffed lion and throws it into the conveyor machine below him, with the heavy piece of machinery.]

Robotnik: Fearless!

[He throws a mask into the machine.]

Robotnik: Ferocious!

[Wearing a gas mask, he cracks open two rotten eggs over the machine.]

Robotnik: Supremely rotten like me!

[The eggs open to reveal two gooey monsters. Socks, bones and piece of metal fall out as well before he drops the eggshells towards the machine as well.]

Robotnik: But unlike the other robots, these two will be brilliant!

[He throws some academic books into the machine.]

Robotnik: Yes!

[He throws a globe and computer into the machine. He reaches into the closet again and comes out with a mortarboard and diploma. He throws both in. He then walks over to a Human-sized switch and activates it with a goofy look. The machine starts up as he dances triumphantly over it. The door of the machine opens and Scratch comes out. He coughs as Robotnik walks over.]

Scratch: W-w-w-who am I? Wha-why am I here? A-A-Are you my mother?

[He extends his neck at Robotnik, forcing him back. He starts kissing him and gives him a big lick.]

Robotnik NO!

[Scratch detracts his head into his body. Robotnik forces it out and stands him up. They walk away from the conveyor.]

Robotnik: You are the very first member of my new Super Special Sonic Search and Smash Squad. [grabs Scratch] I have designed you to be the ultimate in hedgehog hunters. And now, to make you twice as effective, I'm gonna clone you!

Scratch: Clone me?! Will it hurt? I can't stand pain!

[Scratch retreats his head into his body in fear, shaking. Robotnik looks at him, double-thinking his idea.]

Robotnik: Hmm, perhaps I made you... too chicken. No, it won't hurt.

[He hums innocently as he reaches over and plucks one of Scratch's feathers. He immediately jumps out.]

Scratch: Ouch-a-doodle!

[Robotnik holds the feather over the machine.]

Robotnik: I'll just drop your tail feather into the robo-matic machine, to produce your exact twin.

[Robotnik pulls a green, orange, and blue lever, seemingly neglecting to pull a red one.]

Scratch: You forgot to pull this one! [pulls the red lever. Robotnik reacts negatively to this, his head turning into a steaming train whistle.]

Robotnik: D'oh! Dahhh, I didn't forget to pull that lever! I'm not SUPPOSED to pull that lever!

Scratch: How was I to know? I was just hatched!

[He hides his head back in his body again as the machine finishes. The door opens and the conveyor activates. Robotnik is holding Scratch by his throat, with a club in his hand, as they look to see. Robotnik lets go and walks over.]

Robotnik: Voila! Your identical twin brother!

Scratch: My twin?!

[Grounder appears on the conveyor.]

Scratch: Am I that ugly?

Robotnik: Hmm, that last lever caused some slight modifications. No big deal, you two are still the most fearsome fugitive finders ever built.

[Scratch walks over to Grounder, who is still on the conveyor.]

Scratch: He made 'me' first, I'm his favorite.

Grounder: Yeah?! I got more accessories, he likes me best!

[He sticks out his tongue at Scratch, and reveals a number of tools in it. Scratch looks at it in surprise. Scratch turns around and back-kicks a rock at Grounder. A disoriented Grounder shakes his head.]

Grounder: You did that on purpose! Why you...

[Using his drill nose, Grounder pokes Scratch in the buttocks multiple times. Robotnik, aside, is covering his ears as they fight. He looks over at a table with papers on top. He takes the table and throws it at them, stopping their feud. Their heads are stuck in the table.]

Robotnik: STOP IT! I'm ordering you to catch Sonic! Now do it!

[Robotnik grumbles about the badniks' incompetence. A Badnik monkey in a gray body with a chest-mounted screen, buttons and red boots. He has lanky limbs, big monkey ears and cartoonish black eyes with no pupils and a siren on his head, disgruntled, enters another room through a door, talking to the audience.]

Coconuts: Doctor Robotnik demoted me to sanitation duty. Me, Coconuts! [Tosses an object into the room] Well, I should be in charge of catching Sonic. [becomes vengeful] He's giving them my job! I'll show 'em! I'll capture Sonic first!

[Coconuts slams the door closed. After the camera zooms out on Robotnik's fortress, the screen fades to black.]

[On a hilly plain, Sonic is zipping around, then instantly stops. Tails follows up.]

Sonic: Whoa, time out! [Points at a stand that is shaped like a hot dog] That's my kind of pit stop!

[Sonic walks over with Tails following. He walks up to the hot dog stand counter and slams his hand on it.]

Sonic: Two chili dogs to go, slow-mo, on the double.

[Coconuts is working at the stand, tending a boiling pot letting off black smoke. Sonic reacts in surprise as Coconuts doesn't acknowledge him.]

Sonic: I'm waaaiiitiiiing!

[Coconuts doesn't acknowledge him, still tending to the pot, which has a poison logo on it. Coconuts is wearing a disguise.]

Sonic: Hey, I'm growing a beard out here!

[Coconuts looks over and laughs happily at the audience. He jumps in the air, removes his disguise, and lands on the stand's counter.]

Coconuts: You munched your last chili dog yesterday, hedgehog!

[Coconuts jumps back into the stand, throwing aside a stool, then pushing a table away. He presses a button beside the counter flipping over a control panel with many switches and gizmos. He laughs manically as he pulls a switch, causing the ground to shake. Still laughing, the stand moves backwards, then explodes from the ground into the sky attached to a long metal pipe. Sonic and Tails watch as the hot dog stand continues to go higher into the sky. It sprouts two arms with hands and the bottom turns into a tank-like object.]

Coconuts: Okay! I was polite, I was reasonable! Remember, you forced me to do this! [Works the combination of a safe.] No half-baked hedgehog's gonna make a monkey out of me! [Opens the safe and brings out a cowboy hat. He puts it on.] No way! No way! [Pulls out a framed portrait of Robotnik.] In the name of Doctor Robotnik, I declare open-season on hedgehogs.

[Coconuts kisses the portrait, which reacts in disgust. He sets it down as he pulls more switches on the panel.]

Sonic: That's the last time we ever buy chili dogs from that guy.

[One of the hands slam down in a fist, narrowly missing Sonic and Tails as they jump aside. They run off, with Tails flying, as the machine keeps throwing it's fist at the ground near them. The duo dash away but the machine follows, destroying a rock arch in its way. Coconuts jumps around the stand.]

Coconuts: Oh! Rich, rich! This is so rich!

[Coconuts walks around gleefully, then jumps back to the panel, pulling more levers, still laughing with joy. The machine attempts to grab Sonic and Tails, but misses. It tries again, missing Tails. It tries yet again, missing Sonic. Coconuts rubs his hand together and presses a button, bringing out a large gun handle. Outside, a multitude of guns come out of the hot dog shack, aiming at Sonic and Tails. They start firing at the two, who are now dodging the gunfire and running from the machine. Coconuts is controlling the guns with the large gun handle.]

Coconuts: You can run, but you can't hide, hedgehog!

[Coconuts continues firing while laughing maniacally, but none of the shots are hitting. Sonic and Tails increase their speed, but can't outrun the gunfire. They stop, then look back and see a tree. They run up into the tree, but the machine fires at it. Sonic jumps up out of the tree, rolls into a Triple Spin and launches himself on top of the hot dog stand. The guns on the stand flail around, firing everywhere while Tails hides in the tree. Tails runs as the stand moves down to his location, but Sonic has already started his work by bending all the guns toward the stand itself. He laughs as Coconuts aims his gun, unaware that all the guns are now aimed at him. He hits the trigger, then looks up to see the guns aimed at him. He bites his nails in nervousness as the machine explodes from the gunfire. He lands on the ground, but is whacked in the head with one of the gun barrels and is wrapped in linked sausages.]

Sonic: Now that's what I call the missing links.

Tails: Sonic, I'm starving! Can we find some more chili dogs?

Sonic: You got it, Ace, let's race.

[They both run away, leaving Coconuts behind, still wrapped in sausages.]

Grounder: Sometimes I wish Dr. Robotnik hadn't made us so persistent.

Scratch: He made me persistent; he made you too dumb to quit.

Grounder: Was that an insult?!

Scratch: Just shoot or you're going to miss your chance!

Subterranean Sonic

Robotnik: He's out there still! Mocking me with his scurrilous speed! Standing between me and my dream of total domination of Mobius!

Scratch: [turns on the light] Are you talking about Sonic?

Robotnik: TURN OFF THAT LIGHT!!! Can't you see I'm brooding?

Scratch: Oh yeah, sorry. [turns it off again]

Robotnik: That's better. As I was saying, I hate that hedgehog! And I want him captured NOW!

Grounder: But how are we ever gonna find him?

Robotnik: My deluxe highly-calibrated Hedgehog-omitor has picked up his trail in the Marble Zone. You leave at first light! [presses a button, activating a springy platform that sends Scratch and Grounder soaring outside]

Scratch: BUT IT'S STILL–

Grounder: ...DARK OOOOOUT!!!

Robotnik: So? I'm a little impatient.

Tails: Look at this diamondius! Can I take it with us? Huh? Can I?

Spelunk: DROP IT, FOXY! [emerges out of the shadows]

Sonic: Hey, don't scare my pal like that! Who are–

Spelunk: This is my claim, and I'll ask the questions! And my question is: ya got any lasts requests, afore I let ya have it? [holds a match to a cannon]

Sonic: Yeah, two requests. Show us how to get out of here, and two dozen chili dogs, with extra onions and cheese, to go!

Spelunk: Chili dogs?! Forget it! Do ya know how much chili dogs cost?! Money don't grow on trees, ya know! You're just like the rest of them - want something of mine for nothing! I got a right mind to blast ya! [aims the cannon at Sonic and lights the fuse]

Sonic: In that case, gotta roll, troll! [speeds away]

Spelunk: STOP! Ya thievin', trespassin, lootin' no-good varmints!

Sonic: [runs back to him, annoyed] Hey, you've got us all wrong! We're freedom fighters!

Spelunk: Looks to me like you're freeloaders! And I don't give nothin' for free!

Robotnik: Shut your brass beaks, you chrome cluckers! Remember, you are my Super Special Sonic Search and Smash Squad! A TEAM! So stop this arguing immediately!

Sonic: You're making a big mistake, Spelunk! Haven't you ever heard of Dr. Robotnik? The nastiest villain in the history of Mobius?

Spelunk: Nope!

Sonic: Let me guess - you don't get out much, do you?

Spelunk: Nope!

Sonic: Don't you realize a terrible villain is about to destroy this entire place and steal everything you've got?!

Spelunk: Nope! Don't pay no nevermind to current events!

Sonic: Hmm. Maybe you should consider a career in politics.

[After stopping Robotnik, Scratch and Grounder from stealing Spelunk's treasure]

Spelunk: Good riddance to bad eggs! I never met such unpleasant, rotten, miserly, selfish jerks in my life!

Sonic and Tails: [eyeing him sternly] We have.

Sonic: But he got better.

Lovesick Sonic

Scratch: (interrogating Breezy) We have ways of making you talk, hedgehog!

Grounder: We do? What ways?

Scratch: Stupid! (smacks him)

Grounder: Oh, yeah! Right! We got stupid ways to make you talk! So start blabbin', missy!

Scratch: Tell us where we can find Sonic!

Breezie: I don't know where he is. I've never even met Sonic.

Sonic: (zooms in) You have now! (to Scratch and Grounder) Picking on a pretty lady? Don't you bots have any chivalry?

Scratch: No, but Grounder's got a real trick up his sleeve!

Grounder: (reveals a glue-gun) My new glue-gun. It'll paste your sneakers right to the pavement!

Scratch: Yeah, hedgehog! Stick around! Ba ha ha haaa! (Grounder squirts at a fleeing Sonic, missing him.) Hey, fast-draw? You MISSED! (smacks Grounder) Wait till Dr. Robotnik hears about this! Ba ha ha haaa!

Grounder: (aims at him) Not from you! I'll glue your yap shut!!

Rabbit Gardener: Congratulations. You have reached the Garden of the Mobisia Marvelosa Marigoldias.

Sonic: Whew... finally. I'm getting pooped.

Rabbit Gardener: Unfortunately, no one ever returns from here.

Sonic: And why not? (a streak of fire almost hits him) YIKES!!!

Rabbit Gardener: The fire dragon won't let 'em.

Robotnik: Who is this?! I can't talk now! I'm waiting for important news from the ice territory!

Polar Bear: Ah, listen up, your rottenness, Sonic was just here!

Robotnik: Haha, it's working! My sneaky, devious, underhanded scheme is working!

Scratch: Any sneaky, devious, underhanded scheme in particular?

Robotnik: Yes! My secret agent Breezie has got Sonic running in circles all over Mobius!

Scratch: Breezie is your secret agent?!

Robotnik: Of course!

Grounder: Then why'd you send us to capture her?

Robotnik: That was the sneaky part of my devious and underhanded scheme!

Scratch and Grounder: It was?

Robotnik: Yes, you dumbots! How else could I get Sonic to think Breezie is on his side?

Scratch: (after a brief silence) I knew it all the time!

Grounder: I knew it before you did!

Scratch: Great acting job I did when we captured her, huh?

Grounder: (sarcastically) Yeah, great acting. You almost had me thinking Robotnik put a brain in your head!

Robotnik: (punches Grounder, sending him flying into a wall) SILENCE!!!

Grounder: Yes, your miserableness.

Robotnik: [showing Scratch and Grounder a new machine] Well, gentlemen, how do you like it?

Grounder: Hmmm...

Scratch: Uhhh... We love it!

Grounder: Yeah, it's the best one we've ever seen!

Scratch: If we were gonna build ourselves, we'd make it exactly like that.

Grounder: Exactly!

Scratch: One question.

Robotnik: Yeeeees?

Scratch and Grounder: What is it?

Robotnik: [looks frustrated for a moment] It's my new Eggo-Matic-Tunnelizer and Town Terrorizer! [points down to a nearby village] See that lovely empty space in front of my fortress?

Scratch: Not exactly empty, your maliciousness.

Grounder: That's a whole village down there.

Robotnik: In 6 hours, that village will be gone!

Scratch: Gone?

Robotnik: Vanished! Destroyed! Obliterated! I'm flooding it! I'm going to tunnel down to the main Mobius reservoir, steal all its water, and turn that town into Lake Robotnik! (laughs evilly)

Grounder: Need any help?

Robotnik: NO!! I want you two to go and help Breezie eliminate Sonic! This is one time, I'm going to do some rottenness, and that hedgehog won't stop me!

Grounder: But what will happen to all the people?

Robotnik: In a word... they'll all be SUNK! (cackles menacingly)

[After Breeze throws Tails into a river]

Scratch: Nice work, Agent Breezie!

Grounder: Yeah, very nice. That little brat is a real pain in the--

Scratch: Hey!

Grounder: Transmission.

Slowwww Going

Rocket: Save... us… Sonic!

Tails: I'm only 4 1/2 years old. I don't know how to write yet.

Rocket: I'm... older.

Tails: Really? What's your name?

Rocket: Rocket!

[Tails flies up to him.]

Tails: Hi, Rocket.

Rocket: I'm... the... fast... est... sloth.. .on... Mobius. Wanna... see? [grabs Tails and they drop out of the tree] See? Now... that's... fast!

The Robotnik Express

(Grounder's phone begins to ring.)

Grounder: (whispering to Scratch) Psst, Scratch, it's the Robotnik Hotline.

Big Grizz: What you say? Duuuhh... what was dat?

Grounder: My tummy rumbling?

Big Grizz: That's da strangest tummy rumbling I ever hoid.

Scratch: Not really. It always sounds like that when Tails eats onion rings. (Grounder picks up the phone.)

Big Grizz: Onion rings?! Of course! How could I be so stupid?

Grounder: Oh, uhhh... beats me. (burps while still on the phone. Robotnik hears this at his Emporium)

Robotnik: For Grounder's sake, that better have been a wrong number!

Tails: (starts teasing Scratch and Grounder) Nyah, nyah! You can't catch me!

Grounder: Why not?!

Tails: You're slow, you're clumsy, you're stupid...

Scratch: Yeah, right! Let's get him anyway! (Scratch and Grounder try to catch Tails, only to run into a wall.)

Tails: But you run into walls real good!

High Stakes Sonic

Robotnik: How dare you interrupt me now!? I want my monument finished in time for Robotnik Day!

Grounder: Woo! I didn't know there was a Robotnik Day.

Robotnik: Of course there's a Robotnik Day! I just declared it one minute ago! In honor of myself!

Robotnik: Is my new Casino Night Zone ready?

Grounder: Uh, no...

Robotnik: No?! I spent over a million mobiums on that place! I made it a top priority! How can my new Casino Night Zone not be ready?

Grounder: Because it's locked and I have the key.

Robotnik: Well, then go open it, you nincombutt, you stupo-you miserable mess of microchips!

Grounder: I'm doing better, he didn't call me a hopeless hunk of junk.

Robotnik: And make it fast you hopeless hunk of junk!

Sonic: Oh, and tell Robotnik he has a crummy Casino. No chili dogs.

Scratch: Whoa!!! Its, its, its!..

Sonic: (as James Bond) Hedgehog, Sonic the Hedgehog.

Scratch and Grounder: (simultaneously) SONIC!?

Day Care woman: One million Mobiums please.

Tails: But I've only been here ten minutes!

Day Care woman: If you want to complain, take it up with the management.

Tails: I will!

Day Care woman: The Management is Doctor Robotnik!'

Tails: Oh, I won't...

Robotnik: You’ll be happy to know that a thousand Mobians have staked their freedom on your victory.

Sonic: It’s a safe bet, egg-belly !

Robotnik: Not for your little sidekick. Remember : if you win, he’s DOOMED.

Sonic: You don’t honestly expect your scumbot to beat me, do ya ?

Robotnik: Honestly ? Of course not. I never do anything honestly. You must throw the race ! Then those Mobians will be my slaves.

Sonic: I can't do that !

Robotnik: It’s the Mobians or Tails! You decide! (laughs evilly)

Robotnik : (repeatedly) YOU MUST LOSE THE RACE, LOSE THE RACE, LOSE THE RACE, LOSE THE RACE! MOBIUS OR TAILS, OR TAILS, OR TAILS, OR TAILS!

Grounder: That should stop it! (threw the stone down)

Sonic: I didn't mean, that the people can go too slow... (seeding the falling stone) YIKES!!! GAGA-GAAAAAHHH!!!

King Coconuts (aka Big Daddy)

Coconuts: Boom-Boom, my long lost son!

Boom-Boom: Daddy!

Sonic: Time for a visit from the S.P.C.A.!

Tails: The who??

MacHopper

MacHopper: I'm free!

Robotnik: Of course you're free! I never pay any of my minions. NOW STOP THE NONSENSE IMMEDIATELY!

Full Tilt Tails, Part 1/2

Robotnik: AHAHAHAHA! I really put one over on that rube! This sack of gold can finance a whole army of robots to trample Mobius into submission!

Scratch: You're my hero Dr Robotnik sir. You're rotten to the core, BAHAHAHA!

Robotnik: Thank you, and to show how much I appreciate you two numbskulls, I'm going to give you a tip.

Scratch: Wow, aha, great!

Grounder: Oh, boy, a tip!

Robotnik: The tip is: "always buy new shoes in the afternoon, after your feet have expanded".

Scratch: I'll, uh, try to remember that.

Grounder: Yeah, me too, in case I ever get feet.

Robotnik: I bet this nugget alone is worth...[smells it]...hmmm? Strange. It smells like...chili beans. [eats it] It IS chili beans! STALE CHILI BEANS! Covered with gold paint!

Grounder: That was a pretty tricky hillbilly.

Robotnik: Coconuts!

Coconuts: [enters room] You want me, your putridness? You want me?

Robotnik: I was bamboozled by Sonic, and it's all your fault!

Coconuts: What are you talking about?! I wasn't even there!

Robotnik: Shut up! I'm the boss, I can blame whoever I want to! I am demoting you down to mop-up duty!

Coconuts: But, but, but, but, but,...[moans]...where do I start?

Robotnik: By standing on that X!

[Coconuts walks onto a trapdoor with an "X" on it. Robotnik pulls a lever that opens the trapdoor and Coconuts falls in.]

Robotnik: Ha!

Coconuts: NOT AGAIN!

Robotnik: If it's the last thing I do, I'm going to get even with that scheme-stopping spine-headed hedgehog!

The Last Resort

Sonic: Well it looks like it's our turned to be fish food! (The screen fades to black.)

Robotnik: You still haven't gotten Sonic?

Submerged Sonic

Robotnik: Will you shut up & row?!

Full Tilt Tails, Part 2/2

Robotnik:I hate turtles, I hate Tails, I hate that hedgehog!

Close Encounter of the Sonic Kind

Prince Charnock: I say, isn't that Mobius down there? We must pop in for a visit!

Splorg: No, no, no! Prince Charnock, your vacation is over. We must return home! You're going to be crowned king in just two hours!

Prince Charnock: But I've always wanted to see Mobius! Ha ha! It's one of those planets my baby brother wants to blow up so much! Ha ha! It'll just be a quick visit, Splorg.

Prince Charnok: I say, extraordinary gravity on this planet!

Sonic: Hold it! Time out! Hey Tails, does that map say anything about a UFO crossing here?

Tails: What's a UFO?

Tails: Hi!

Splorg: My liege, I implore you to look at our spaceship. We're in very great danger here!

Prince Charnock: Could the two of you perhaps lead us on a short tour of your marvelous planet? Ha ha! I'd be absolutely thrilled!

Splorg: Prince Charnock, unless we think of something right now, your baby brother will blow up this marvelous planet with us still on it!

Sonic and Tails: What? Mobius blown up?

Prince Charnock: Sonic! Oh, we're done for! My baby brother legally becomes king if I'm not there for my coronation!

Sonic: And he can blow up Mobius then?

Prince Charnock: Yes! He'll have the power to do it! What are we going to do?

Sonic: There's only one thing to do, Prince! We gotta shift it into high gear and get you out of here!

Tails: All right! Yeah!

Splorg: Oh, yeah!

Prince Charnock: Jolly good show!

[pause]

Tails, Prince Charnock, and Splorg: How?

Sonic: Can you repair the ship if you've got all the pieces together?

Prince Charnock: Oh, yes.

Splorg: But we'll never be able to gather them all in time!

Sonic: Oh, yeah? Care to guess why they call me "Sonic?"

Spaceman Sonic

Sonic: (dressed as a cop) Let me speak to the driver.

Grounder: I'm not driving. He is!

Scratch: No, I'm not!

Sonic: Driving without a driver? Now you're really in for it.

Robotnik: [to Grounder and Scratch after deciding why he doesn't need them anymore.] you lost my rocket ship...you let the hedgehog ruin my plans... AND NOW YOU'RE RUNNING UP MY LONG-DISTANCE BILL!!!

Too Tall Tails

Sonic: [sees a cloud of orange dust looming over Weinerville] Hey, what's that?

Knackwurst: Hmmm. Strangest looking cloud I've ever seen.

Tails: [walking towards an ice cream parlor] I'll start out with a triple-decker cone, then you'll see some major munching! [the orange dust cloud drifts down onto him; coughs and starts growing at a slow rate after the dust cloud clears] Hey! What's happening? Hey, the buildings are getting smaller.

Sonic: [calling out] No, the buildings are the same! It's you! Something's haywire, little buddy! Why, you're getting taller!

Tails: Yeah, I am! All right! [stops growing at a enormous size of 50 feet] I don't like this anymore, Sonic. Do something. I'm scared.

Sonic: Don't worry, little buddy. I'll figure something out.

Tails: [rubbing his stomach with both hands] My appetite's getting bigger. I'm so hungry, I can't stand it! [picks up an ice cream parlor and eats it] Do something, Sonic! I can't stop eating! I gotta split before it hurts somebody!

Tails: [munching on some leaves from a tree; mouthful] Sonic, what do I do? I'm just so hungry.

Sonic: Not to worry, pal! I'll take care of everything!

Tails: But how?

Sonic: I'll, uh... er, uh... Can I get back to you on that?

Knackwurst: That horrible monster! I thought I was a goner!

Waitress: Oh, I'm sure Tails didn't mean any harm. It was an accident.

Knackwurst: An accident?! Don't be fooled!

Tails: I can't stop myself! The bigger I get, the hungrier I get!

Tails' New Home

Robotnik: Sonic fell for it! Tails is ours! I'll have to give myself a promotion!

Sonic: Oops! You're in trouble, Doctor.

Robotnik: I'm never in trouble, I make trouble!

Sonic: You spelled "kidnapped" with a "C." (revealing the word "Cidnapped")

Robotnik: So? When I take total control of Mobius, that's the way everyone will spell it!

Over the Hill Hero

Robotnik: Failed again, did you?

Scratch: Why, no, your supreme awfulness, in fact we succeeded wonderfully!

Grounder: In a kind of negative way.

Robotnik: SILENCE! YOU DUMBBOTS WOULDN'T KNOW SUCCESS IF IT BIT YOU ON THE BUMPER!

Captain Rescue: Never fear! Captain Rescue is here!

Captain Rescue: I guess my sneeze-bomb catcher went a little off course!

Sonic: A little off course?! Are you a... (sneezes) ...schmo or what?

Scratch: Whoa! He's leading them right to the cliff!

Grounder: That's military intelligence for you!

(Sonic has forced the soldier robots to march with him and each fall off the cliff in tempo.)

Sonic: (salutes) Squad! Fall out!

Captain Rescue: (to Sonic angrily) "Old-timer?" "OLD-TIMER?!" Why I was saving Mobius from bad guys when you were still a hedgehoglet! (walks away sadly)

Tails: I think you hurt his feelings, Sonic.

Sonic: Well! Guys like him ought to know when to quit! Robotnik would eat him for lunch!

Robotnik: Sonic has interfered in my plans for the last time!

Blank-Headed Eagle

Robotnik: What's going on here?!

Scratch: Uh, oh… we were just, uh… waiting for the news, your nastiness!

Grounder: Yeah, that's right! We wanted to see if we did anything rotten today.

Robotnik: SILENCE!

Scratch & Grounder: Yes, your rottenness!

Robotnik: How many times do I have to tell you two dingbats to do something useful with your spare time, like, uh… kissing my feet?

Scratch: He called me a dingbot, and you said he didn't love me!

Grounder: Okay. Why don't we have a race? Whoever catches Sonic first, is the one the master loves best! [rolls up to the doorway] Oh, and I'm the fastest! So if I were you, I'd quit now!

Scratch: [offended] Whoa-ho-ho! Anybody can be fast if they have tracks!

[Scratch is in his bedroom, trying to assemble the pieces of the Eagle-copter]

Scratch: Hmm… Now, I'm supposed to fit tab A-392 into slot Z-427. [plugs in two wires and ends up getting electrocuted] YEOW-HOW-HOW-HOW-HOO! [explosion evolves; wearily] Oh. Or was that slot X-427?

Sonic: All right, buddy, pull over!

Scratch: Aw, come on, officer! What'd I do wrong?

Sonic: Let's go, buddy, down!

Scratch: Aw, fudge!

[The three land on the ground]

Sonic: [takes out a notebook and writes some things down] Operating an Eagle-copter without a seatbelt, operating an Eagle-copter without enough brains to run a little red wagon.

Scratch: Now wait a minute, officer.

Sonic: No, you wait a minute! You robot chickens make me sick! Get a couple pints of motor oil in you and suddenly you're tough guys! Okay, mister, you chill right there.

Scratch: Golly, officer. How long?

Sonic: Till you get a clue, geek!

Trail of the Missing Tails

Robotnik: No more esxuses, I want that henious hedgehog! I mean now!

Boogey-Mania

(Sonic is having a tribute so Tails asks his friends to be at the hero of the year awards, Tails asks Professor Von Schlemmer to come.)

Professor Von Schlemmer: Of course, Professor Von Schlemmer is a brilliant scientist, he deserves a tribute and I always wanted to meet him.

Tails: You're Professor Von Schlemmer, remember?

Von Schlemmer: I am? That's wonderful, haha! Then I can be the one to introduce me to him.

(Scratch puts the lever on the machine)

Scratch: Look what I did, I got it finished. I'm Dr. Robotnik's favorite lackey. (Professor Von Schlemmer is shown up tied on a tree)

Von Schlemmer: Well, I'm his favorite victim.

Coconuts: As soon as I saw the dreamamajig, Dr. Robotnik, I knew you'd want to know about it!

Dr. Robotnik: Indeed! If I had the machine, I could terrorize all of Mobius!

Coconuts: I guess this means I finally get my promotion, huh?

Dr. Robotnik: (shoots out of his chair) Promotion?! What for?! You should have swiped the machine and brought it to me, you nincombot!

Coconuts: Bububu... (Dr. Robotnik gives him a mop and bucket)

Dr. Robotnik: I'm demoting you to scrub monkey, third class! Now go and mop up the dungeon! (Pulls a lever and Coconuts falls into the dungeon. Then the door opens and Scratch and Grounder fall through)

Dr. Robotnik: Snoo-PING AS usual I see?

Scratch: Not me! I didn't hear nothing about Von Schlemmer's dreamamajig!

Grounder: Er... me neither! Especially I didn't here the part about the clown!

Dr. Robotnik: Stop jabbering, you dingbots! I'm formulating a plan to take advantage of this unexpected turn of events!

Grounder: And the brilliant idea is, your sneakiness?

Scratch: It's a work of genius!

Dr. Robotnik: Idiots! I haven't thought of it yet, you boot-lickers!

Grounder: Ooh. But when you think of it...

Scratch: I know it will be marvelous!

Dr. Robotnik: That's true... Ahah! I have just come up with a magnificent scheme! (points at his feet) Now you may lick my boots! (Scratch and Grounder stick out their tongues in disgust)

Scratch: Urrgh!

Grounder: (disgusted) I hate this part!

Dr. Robotnik: Fools! Idiots!

Grounder: Oh, you called?

Scratch: Look how my key shiny is!

Grounder: My key is shinier!

Best Hedgehog

Robotnik: If you bring Lucas and Sonic back to me, you can name your prize - anything!

Scratch: Your Egg-o-matic hovercraft?

Robotnik: Yes!

Scratch: This fortress?

Robotnik: Yes! I said ANYTHING!

Grounder: You mean, like, like that red shit over there?

Robotnik: (groans) Even the wrench set!

Grounder: See ya! (Gets a wrench thrown on his caterpillar track and falls face forward on the floor) I can't move!

Scratch: What are you griping about? You wanted the wrench set, didn't you? (Runs away)

Lifestyles of Sick and Twisted

Scratch: Dr. Robotnik!

Grounder: Throbbin Screech is on!

Scratch: It's showtime! Bahahaha!

Robotnik: SILENCE!! We're not watching his show; we hate his show!

Grounder: No we don't; it's our very favorite. (Scratch pounds him against the wall.) We'd rather watch reruns of Bart the Barfy Bumblebee any day.

Robotnik: I've really outdone myself this time! Remind me to award myself the Medal for Excellence in Supreme Rottenness.

Scratch: Didn't you just give yourself that award last week?

Robotnik: Well, make up a better one then!

Tails in Charge

Robotnik: Have you captured Sonic yet?

Scratch: D'oh! Tell 'im we almost had him!

Grounder: Almost, sir!

Robotnik: ALMOST?!! What kind of nincompoops are you!?!

Grounder: Uh, what kind of nincompoops are we?

Scratch: Sir, I've got a foolproof plan! This time we'll get him... my way!

Robotnik: If you don't, I'll melt you down... MY way!

Scratch: You are so dumb!

Grounder: What? What? What did I say?

Grounder: Wait until we see what Dr. Robotnik gets me for bagging that hedgehog!

Scratch: You?! You couldn't bag groceries! Give him to me!

Grounder: He's not going anywhere, fuzz face, cept' back to Dr. Robotnik's lab! Who knows? Maybe he'll turn your buddy into a footstool! [he and Scratch both laugh]

Tails: Nobody's turning Sonic into a footstool!

Scratch: [grabs Tails and picks him up by the tails] Out of the way, brat! [throws him aside]

Scratch: Come back!

Grounder: Yeah, runt! Come back here!

[Grounder stars operating the machine but Scratch bangs him on the arm.]

Scratch: Hey! Stop shooting! If you hit Sonic, you'll unfreeze him!

Grounder: Huh?

Scratch: Doh; for the 20th time, you serve Sonic the Chili Dog real slow, so I'll have plenty of time to zap him with the stopper zapper! You got it now?

Grounder: Um....

Scratch: Grounder, you're as dumb as a rock!

Grounder: Metamorphic, igneous, or sedimentary?

Scratch: Nicoratius! (Grabs a rock and hits Grounder)

Tails: Should've worn your seat belts, fellas.

Grounder: Oh, sorry, officer! We forgot!

Tails: Well, I'll give you 2, maybe 3 years in Mobius jail to think about it.

Scratch: Now hold on!

Tails: Driving over the speed limit inside a building? That's gonna cost you, too!

Grounder: Oh, no! How much for that?

Tails: 5, maybe 10 years?

[Scratch picks up Tails]

Grounder: Scratch! He's an officer!

Scratch: Ever see an officer with two tails? [reveals Tails]

Grounder: [gasp] The fox brat! I knew that!

Scratch: Did not! You don't know anything!(Sees that Tails got away) Hey come back here you dippy little mutt!!

Momma Robotnik Returns

Judge: And who are you supposed to be? (One-shot line that has become a fad in YouTube Poop videos)

Momma Robotnik: I came closer to conquering Mobius than you EVER DID!

Sonic's Song

Robotnik: I detest that Catty Carlyle! She's singing about Sonic! So I've invented this radio wave locator to find her and stop her! (Machine starts beeping) There! That's where the song is coming from!

Grounder: From this machine?

Robotnik: Nooo, imbecile! That flashing light shows where the song is being broadcast from! This is where the REBL radio station is!

Grounder: (reading the note Robotnik hands him) "Single 700-pound villain looking for suitable companion."

Robotnik: Whoops! Uh, wrong paper. Give me that!

(Grounder and Scratch walk into Robotnik's fortress after failing to stop Catty Carlyle)

Grounder: (whispering) We better apologize to Dr. Robotnik!

Scratch: No, let's just go to our rooms!

Robotnik: (grabs the two) Where do you dumb-bots think you're going?

Grounder: (whispering) Ah, busted!

Scratch: We thought you were sleeping, oh gluteus maximus!

Robotnik: How could I sleep when everyone on Mobius is singing that blasted "Sonic's Song"?! It must be stopped! I've got it, I'll put an end to all music on Mobius; no humming, no singing, and no radio. (A bird lands on the tree nearby and starts whistling Sonic's Song, while Robotnik loses his temper) Argh, and no whistling! You blasted... (Bird lays an egg which hits Robotnik in the face)

Grounder: (while invading a radio station) Can I say hello to my mommy?

Scratch: D'oh, you don't have a mommy!

Catty Carlyle: [singing] Sonic the Hedgehog, you can't catch what you can't see!

Sonic the Hedgehog, he's gonna set Mobius free!

He's a teenage fugitive on the run, eating chili dogs just for fun!

Fast And Easy

Easy Eddie: Hey, this is fake money!

Robotnik: Of course, I'm a fake nice person. Throw him in the dungeon!

Easy Eddie: You'll pay for this! I can't stand dishonesty!

Robotnik: First, I place the Chaos Emerald in the activation altar. Then, I decide which part of Mobius I wish to sink into the sea, and then...

Sonic: Your old pal Sonic shows up and stops everything!

Robotnik: How did you find me you spiny spoil-sport?

Sonic: I figured Easy Eddie would bring you the ring, and once you had it, you couldn't wait to use it!

Robotnik: It's mine! Give it to me!

Sonic: No way Egg-belly, I'm taking this ring somewhere you'll never find it!

Robotnik: I HATE THAT HEDGEHOG!

(After Sonic exchanges Easy Eddie for a rock, Scratch and Grounder bring it to Robotnik)

Robotnik: A rock?! You brought me a rock?! (Robotnik hurls the rock at Scratch, who quickly dodges)

Grounder: Um, it's a really nice rock, Dr. Robotnik!

Sonically Ever After

(Sonic finishes pulling a thorn out of the dragon's foot and it licks him)

Sonic: Down boy, I love you too.

Robotnik: How did you do that?

Sonic: I guess you don't remember your fairy tales. The Lion and the Mouse is now The Hedgehog and the Dragon.

Robotnik: Burn him up, you big slobbering idiot! (The Dragon growls at Robotnik and drops him off of its back)

Robotnik: Uh, big nicest slobbering idiot! (The Dragon torches Robotnik with its fiery breath)

Robotnik: I hate that hedgehog...!

Birth Of A Salesman

Wes Weasley: It's great to be back palsy, but you didn't have to arrange an escort. A simple message to my fax machine would have worked fine.

Robotnik: And I'll deliver a simple message to your throat!

Wes Weasley: No need to be angry, I have decided to refund your money, you say the gravity stopper didn't work right?

Grounder: Oh no, it worked fine. It was the gravity-defying net that didn't work.

Wes Weasley: The net? Well, why didn't you say so? I don't cover the net, so, no refunding needed.

Robotnik: Cheater! Rapscalion! You've sold me countless traps, and none of them work!

Wes Weasley: Correction, Robotnik, it's your two stoogebots that don't work. My machines have worked as they are supposed to.

Robotnik: You have a point, Weasley.

The Magic Hassle

Robotnik: [to Wes Weasley] GET OUT OF MY LIFE!

Coconuts: I love scrubbing toilets!

Tails Prevails

Tails: I didn't do it on purpose, Sonic! Honest! I was just trying to make some money!

Sonic: Money? What for?

Tails: Something personal. I can't tell you!

Sonic: Look, I could loan you some money.

Tails: No, that wouldn't be right. You gotta let me do this, Sonic!

Sonic: Okay, but be careful, you hear me?

[Later, Tails is now working as a paper boy]

Tails: A paper route! I don't know why I didn't think of this before! This should be no trouble! Just to the end of the street and I… [comes to the street corner and sees more houses down the block] Whoa! This is gonna take forever! It's not fair! Sonic would do this in a second! Hey, that gives me an idea!

Zoobotnik

[Robotnik is playing with a rubber crocodile in a bath until Coconuts appears unannounced]

Robotnik: You lame-brained knuckle-dragging dork! How dare you interrupt me when I'm having a bath with my rubber crocodile!

Coconuts: Oh, but I only wanted to tell you I saw one of those F.O.U.s! I mean, C.I.A.s! Uh, C.O.D.s? I mean--

Robotnik: Get to the point, or your name will be M-U-D!

Coconuts: I got it! I got it! I saw a U.F.O.!

Coachnik

Coachnik: See what happened? You X's lost track of the O, because of all these other O's!

Scratch and Grounder: Oh!

Robotnik: I see that Sonic did some training of his own!

Coachnik: Don't worry Doctor, it's still early in the season. We'll be ready next time.

Scratch, Grounder and Coconuts: What? Next time? (mumbles)

Robotnik: Next time, my foot!

Robotnik: You dolt, you're just lucky the Coachnik thinks we need you!

Coconuts: This is not what I call lucky!

Coachnik: Hey! You in the truck! Come back with the rest of my player!

Scratch: But I can fly. I'm the Swan Queen! HAHAHAHA!

Robotnik: COACHNIK! You're wrecking these robots faster than I'm able to fix them!

Grounder: Dr. Robotnik, What happened to Coachnik?

Robotnik: I gave him the boot! That's what!

Coachnik: We'll see who gives who the boot! (The Coachnik's foot gets up and starts booting Robotnik)

Robotnik: Hey! What gives?

Coachnik: My foot!

Robotnik: Penalty! Call the referee! Somebody find his off switch! TIME OUT!

The Little Merhog

Robotnik: (self-narrating) If Dr. Robotnik can sink this final putt, he'll win the Mobius tournament of champions and win the grand prize of the dictatorship of the universe!

Scratch & Grounder: DR. ROBOTNIK! (Robotnik hits his golf ball too hard and it bounces around the room wildly until it bounces off Scratch and Grounders heads and into Robotnick's mouth. He then spits it into the hole)

Grounder: Ooh, nice putt.

Robotnik: Thanks, and now I've got a nice putter for you two! (Robotnik wraps the putter around Scratch and Grounder's necks) What's so important that you had to ruin my golf game?

Robolympics

Robotnik: I'll give you two choices; I can punish you, or you can do it yourselves! What'll it be? (Scratch & Grounder are now hammers in their left hands and they hit themselves on the their hands with them, until they are flatted down into their bodies, and steam emits from them.) An excellent choice!

Tails' Tale

Sonic: Thought I recognized that yellow gunk! It's sleeping gas!

Pseudo Sonic

Lawrence: Mom! Dad!

Musta Been a Beautiful Baby

Scratch: I have told you once, I have told you 1,000 times...

Tails: (as a baby) Goo Goo Poo Poo.

Scratch: (confused) "Goo Goo Poo Poo"?

Grounder: No, you never said that!

So-Long Sucker

Sonic: Hey squirt, how long have you been chewin' on that gum?

Tails: Uh....three weeks...?

Robotnik: Of course,they will. There's nothing more sacred than the bond between a boy and his pet! As I know all too well!

Grounder: Aw, you had a pet?

Robotnik: Mr. Bobo was more than a pet, hew was a villain's best friend! Brave, trustworthy, loyal, always willing to share his lunch! Oh, I miss that little cockroach!

Quest For The Chaos Emeralds

Robotnik: As long as you don't mind thrown into dungeon full of snakes & eating dead spiders for the rest of your life!

Robotnik: (in possession of the Chaos Emerald of Invincibility) Hahahahahaha! I love being invincible!

Scratch: Personally, we could live without it.

Robotnik: Before I go back in time to get the next Chaos Emerald, I think I'll humiliate Sonic before the entire kingdom. I can't wait to see the look on that hedgehog's face when I tell him... HE'S GONE?!?

Scratch: I don't think you have to tell him he's gone, your slowness! I think he knows! Bahahahaa!

Roobotnik: When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you!

Grounder: Don't look now! But I think we're in biiiiiiig trouble!

Robotnik: The Supreme High Robotnik, MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE!!!

Robo-Ninjas

Grounder (his arm-cannon blown to pieces) OHHH! MAMAAA!!

Scratch: Oh, we don't have a mother, stupid!

Grounder: But I want a mamaaa!!!

Kwajang Crane: An unexpected adventure often comes with soup or salad, and a roll.

Sonic The Matchmaker

Scratch: She's beauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-tiful, Doctor!

Grounder: Yeah, she's got really big--

Scratch: Hair!

(Robotnik Jr. is feeling sad after being rejected by Breezie)

Tails: Hey, Junior. Why are you looking so sad?

Junior: I just met the coolest robot girl.

Tails: You mean Breezie?

Junior: Yeah. But she likes Sonic, not me. Look.

Breezie: (laying down with Sonic) Oh, Sonic. I don't know what I would've done without you. You're so brave.

Sonic: Well, it's just your average hedgehog heroics.

Tails: Don't worry about it, Junior. Sonic only thinks of Breezie as a friend.

Junior: (implying that Breezie is in love with Sonic) But that's not the way she thinks of him. She'll never like me as much as Sonic.

Robotnik's Rival

[Quark and Robotnik's ships have just fell to pieces after both unsuccessfully tried to capture Sonic and Tails]

Robotnik: You idiot! I would've captured that hedgehog if it wasn't for you! Whoever you are!

[Quark pops out]

Quark: If it wasn't for you, you ridiculous fool, I would've gotten rid of that hedgehog!

Robotnik: Ridiculous?! What business is it of yours, anyway?

Quark: [pulls out crown and puts it on his head] Why, I plan to take over the entire planet of Mobius, and declare myself absolute ruler, of course!

Robotnik:Of course. Now, about this, uh, uh...[indistinct mumbling]...WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

Quark: [pulls out poster] And when I'm through with this miserable planet, I'm building it a shrine to me, Brandon Quark, M.D., Ph. D., C.E.G.!

Scratch: What does C.E.G. stand for?

Quark: Crazy Evil Genius, natch.

[Robotnik grabs the poster and tears it up.]

Robotnik Well, it just so happens that I'm taking over Mobius, and making it a shrine to me, Quack!

Quark: That's Quark, egg boy! [jumps out on Robotnik's belly] And I've never seen anything as preposterous as you!

Robotnik: Check a mirror, duck butt!

Quark: Okay! So I had a little lab accident with a duck! But it's all just water...

Robotnik: ...Off a duck's back! [pushes Quark off] With my scientific genius, you haven't got a chance!

Quark: [looking at Scratch and Grounder] You call those wind-up toys scientific genius?! Get a load of this, egg boy!

[Quark presses a button that summons his robot, D.U.F.U.S.]

D.U.F.U.S.: You summoned me, Dr. Quark?

Quark: This is a D.U.F.U.S, Designed Unit Flexible Underling Substitute, the most powerful weapon on the planet! And now for a little demo, Robotnik!

D.U.F.U.S.: I am a prototype D.U.F.U.S., capable of 2,486 offensive modes!

[D.U.F.U.S. changes from several of his offensive modes to other modes and finally to a cannon as he speaks. His release of a big cork finds its way into Robotnik. Robotnik spits out the cork.]

Robotnik: This planet isn't big enough for the both of us!

Quark: Your belt isn't big enough for you! [He pulls out a pair of scissors and cuts Robotnik's belt, revealing his underwear. Robotnik, in embarrassment, pulls up his pants.]

Robotnik: Look who's quacking!

Quark: I'M NOT A DUCK! I'M NOT A DUCK! I'M NOT A DUCK! [pause] I propose a contest. Whichever of us captures Sonic the Hedgehog shall have sole dominion over Mobius!

Robotnik: You got it! There's nothing like a fair fight.

[camera fades out, then fades in with Robotnik and Quark talking to themselves]

Quark and Robotnik: [to themselves] And this will be nothing like a fair fight! Hahahahahahahahaha!

Scratch: Okay, you better tell us what your plan is.

Grounder: Yeah, so we can stop...

[Scratch hits Grounder on the head]

Scratch: Actually, we were just curious!

Sonic: Well, it's too late, boys! We already escaped.

Scratch: Well, thanks anyway. [goes into wild take] YOU WHAT?!

Tails: We're just uh, holo...

Sonic: Holographic projections. 3-D movies. We skipped town an hour ago!

Scratch: I don't believe it!

Grounder: Yeah! If you were just holo, uh, holo, uh, pictures, could I do this to you?

[Grounder grabs Sonic and Tails and throws them at the window. Sonic grabs the bars.]

Sonic: No! And thanks! Gotta run, hon! [spins and breaks the bars]

Tails: So long, battery brain! [flies off]

Scratch: [to Grounder] YOU DID IT AGAIN!

Grounder: Yeah, but you gotta admit it was a great plan! And now we know what it is!

Scratch: If they escape, you know who'll get blamed!

[Scratch and Grounder point to each other]

Scratch and Grounder: YOU!

[D.U.F.U.S. enters the prison hall scanning while Scratch and Grounder are playing tic-tac-toe.]

Scratch: Oh, I gotcha now!

D.U.F.U.S.: Where are the prisoners?

Scratch: Oh, er, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, they're still in there!

Grounder: No, they're not! They...

[Scratch grabs Grounder's tongue and ties it into a knot so that Grounder can't speak for five seconds.]

D.U.F.U.S.: That is improbable! My sensors cannot sense them!

Scratch: Well, open the door and see! [D.U.F.U.S. opens the cell door and looks in.] Oh, no! YOU let them out! Look! The cell is empty!

[Grounder chuckles]

D.U.F.U.S.: Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? I refused that! I have committed an error! That is impossible!

Robotnik: The hedgehog is ours! What a team we make! Robotnik and Quark!

Quark: That's Quark and Robotnik!

Robotnik: Join me for a little gloating in Sonic's cell?

Quark: I'm inviting you to join me! [towards cell] D.U.F.U.S.! Are you there?

[inside cell]

D.U.F.U.S.: What shall I do? It's Dr. Quark!

Grounder: Lie!

D.U.F.U.S.: That is against my programming! My circuits are hurting!

Scratch: Well, once Dr. Robotnik and Quark see what YOU did, your circuits will be hurting even more!

Quark: Not performance my solar breath brings Sonic the Hedgehog dip!

Sonic: Sounds like a great party!

Tails: I'll bring the dip!

Quark: You are the DIP!

[Quark fires the solar to melt rocks and rushes Sonic from fired assaults]

Robotnik: Careful! If the solar ray touches my Darkinator, There's no telling-

[Quark fires instantly and destroys the Darkinator, making it explode]

Robotnik: [weakly] What might happen...!

D.U.F.U.S.: This failure was probable to a factor of 245,764 to 1.

Quark: Oh, can it!

D.U.F.U.S.: Of course, the mathematical probability can be altered; if you are to combine forces, the success slash failure ratio, is 4062 to 1.

Quark: Combined forces, for faster as idea!

Robotnik: That's so idea! I like it!

Robotnik: [has stopped his large tank] Why that ego-maniac! [spots sign] "Welcome to Quark Land?" [he, Scratch, and Grounder walk over to Sonic and Tails, disguised as soldiers]

Sonic: Welcome to Quark Land. You have obviously arrived to enlist in the glorious war against the inferior Robotnik. Hail Quark!

Tails: Hail Quark!

Grounder: Hail Quar... [Scratch bonks him on the head] ...OW!

Robotnik: That's it! This time he's gone too far! It's duck-hunting season, boys!

Robotnik: Me first!

Robotnik Duplicate: ME!

[both fall to the ground]

Both: We hate that hedgehog!

Untouchable Sonic

Grounder: Who?

Scratch: Bert Who!

Grounder: Bert Who?

Robotnik: You got it!

Grounder: Oh, I got it! Bert You Got It!

[Sonic is dressed up as an older woman and he's just reached Robotnik's tank]

Sonic: [in womanly voice] There you are, young man! Your mother told me I could find you here!

Robotnik: My mother?!

Sonic: Yeah! She wanted to know how you were doing on capturing that pesky hedgehog!

[Robotnik begins to stutter]

Sonic: No excuses! If you haven't captured him yet, I'll have to report to her immediately! [walks over to telephone and picks it up] Momma Robotnik, please. [messes up wiring in the tank]

Robotnik: Please! No! Don't call her now! I'll do anything!

Sonic: Young man! Are you offering me a bribe if I don't report to your mother?

Robotnik: Yes!

Sonic: I'll take it!

Grounder the Genius

Tails: Hi, Hacker. Whatcha doin'?

Hacker: Hiya, Tails. [to Sonic] Sonic, just taking a peak at someone's program.

Tails: You mean you can get into someone else's computer?

Hacker: They haven't made the system I can't crack!

Sonic: So what are we waiting for? Get crackin'!

Hacker: Almost done!

Grounder: Ha, ha! You're not done! You're done for!

Momma Robotnik's Birthday

Tails: I guess we showed them, Right Sonic?

Sonic: Right, but I have a feeling we'll have to show em' again, real soon!

Fuzzy Wuzzy (singing to the tune of "We Wish You A Merry Christmas"): We wish you a happy birthday, we wish you a happy birthday, and a rotten next year!

Mad Mike, Da Bear Warrior

[Sonic has just finished altering Robotnik's giant statue]

Sonic: Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you...[in bear voice]...da bears!

[crowd cheers]

Attack on Pinball Fortress

Sgt. Doberman: 50 mile run through the swamp, soldier! MOVE!

Trooper: Aw, gee, Sgt. Doberman!

[Robotnik's stupidity ray, attempting to hit Sonic, hits the trooper instead.]

Trooper: Oh, yes, sir! Great idea, sir! This'll be fun!

Sgt. Doberman: [thinking] Hmmm. A new stupidity ray. I could create a whole planet of my kind of soldiers!

Wes Weasley: [thinking also] Hmmm. A new stupidity ray! I could create a whole planet of suckers!

Sgt. Doberman: I volunteer to join the mission! With my military experience, we will be certain to beat the pinball fortress!

Wes Weasley: No! I volunteer! My company sold Robotnik most of the traps in the fortress! I know how to get through them!

Sgt. Doberman: Get lost, snake oil! We don't need you!

Wes Weasley: What we don't need is a throat-necked grunthead!

Sgt. Doberman: Oh, yeah?

Wes Weasley: Yeah!

[the two begin fighting again]

Tails: What do you think, Sonic?

Sonic: I think, between Robotnik and these guys, we're all in big trouble!

Sonic Breakout, Pt.1

Robotnik: (After noticing that Sonic was outside his window) THE HEDGEHOG'S RIGHT OUTSIDE MY WINDOW!!!! SSSSSS Squad! Arrest him!

Sketch Lampoon: If it cracks me up, it ought to be in Crack-Ups!

Robotnik: Get in there! You’ve interfered with my plans for the last time! Halt to your pose! I have piles of evil to perform now that Sonic’s out of the way starting with... Your new issue of crack-ups will be all about me!

Grounder: In the name of Dr. Robotnik, you're under arrest!

Sketch Lampoon: Sonic! Boy, am I glad to see you?

Sonic: Why? Because your cell is crumbling all around you?

Sketch Lampoon: No. Because if I had to draw one more panel of Robotnik's life story, I'd have gone cuckoo! (Sonic rushes with him and Tails out of the crumbling prison complex.) But now I'm free to work on "Humpty Dumpty 2", and I'm going to make Robotnik look really stupid!

(The three have made it outside as the prison complex explodes.)

Sonic: Actually, Mr. Lampoon, I don't think you can make Robotnik look any stupider than he already is!

(All three laugh as Robotnik starts crying.)

Robotnik: HELP! HELP! I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP! (cries some more) I HATE THAT HEDGEHOG!

The Mystery Of The Missing Hi-Tops, Pt.2

Robotnik: I don't remember programming you to beat me! I just hate losing cards!

Sonic: My kicks! Somebody ripped off my slick kicks! Somebody stopped me from running! (screams) (The screen fades to black.)

Harry: I wanted to cut them out and sell prices of souvenirs! I broke sixteen sets of steak knives trying!

Robotnik: Arrrgh! I HATE THAT HEDGEHOG!

Christmas Special: Sonic's Christmas Blast

Cast

Jaleel White - Sonic the Hedgehog
Christopher Welch - Miles "Tails" Prower
Long John Baldry - Dr. Robotnik
Garry Chalk - Grounder, additional voices
Phil Hayes - Scratch, additional voices
Ian James Corlett - Coconuts, additional voices

External links

Wikipedia

Wikipedia has an article about:

Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog