1066 and All That

book by W. C. Sellar & R. J. Yeatman

1066 and All That was a hugely successful parody of school history textbooks first published serially in Punch but later in book form in 1930 by Methuen Publishing Ltd. The authors were W. C. Sellar (1898–1951) and R. J. Yeatman (1897–1968), who met while at Oriel College, Oxford after the First World War.

Quotes edit

  • A Memorable History of England,
    comprising all the parts you can remember,
    including 103 Good Things,
    5 Bad Kings, and
    2 Genuine Dates
    • Alternative title.
  • Noticing some fair-haired children in the slave market one morning, Pope Gregory, the memorable pope, said (in Latin), 'What are those?' and on being told that they were Angels, made the memorable joke – ' Non Angli, sed Angeli ' (' not Angels, but Anglicans ') and commanded one of his saints called St Augustine to go and convert the rest.
    • Chapter 3, page 14.
  • N.B. - Do not attempt to answer more than one question at a time.
    • Test paper I, page 24.
    • Rubric in mock exam paper.
  • William next invented a system according to which everybody had to belong to someone else, and everybody else to the King. This was called the Feutile System [...]
    • Chapter 11, page 25.
  • Simon de Montfort's Good Idea
    Simon de Montfort's Idea was to make the Parliament more Representative by inviting one or two vergers, or vergesses, to come from every parish, thus causing the only Good Parliament in History.
    • Chapter 21, page 37.
  • Henry VII was very good at answering the Irish Question, and made a Law called Poyning's Law by which the Irish could have a Parliament of their own, but the English were to pass all the Acts in it. This was obviously a very Good Thing.
    • Chapter 30, page 59.
  • Shortly after this the cruel Queen died and a post-mortem examination revealed the word 'CALLOUS' engraved on her heart.
    • Chapter 32, page 65.
  • With the ascension of Charles I to the throne we come at last to the Central Period of English History (not to be confused with the Middle Ages, of course), consisting in the utterly memorable Struggle between the Cavaliers (Wrong but Wromantic) and the Roundheads (Right but Repulsive).
    • Chapter 35, page 71.
  • The Rebels were ferociously dealt with by the memorable Judge Jeffreys who was sent out by James as a Justice in Ire in the West, where he made some furious remarks about the prisoners, known as 'The Bloody Asides.'
    • Chapter 37, pages 81–2.
  • Williamanmary: England Ruled by an Orange
    • Title of Chapter 38, page 83.
  • The War with the Americans is memorable as being the only war in which the English were ever defeated, and it was unfair because the Americans had the Allies on their side.
    • Chapter 44, page 87
  • Gladstone...spent his declining years trying to guess the answer to the Irish Question; unfortunately, whenever he was getting warm, the Irish secretly changed the Question[.]
    • Chapter 57, page 116.
  • The last event in Queen Victoria's reign was the Borewore, or, more correctly, Boerwoer (Dutch), which was fought against a very tiresome Dutch tribe called the Bores, because they were left over from all previous wars.
    • Chapter 58, page 117.
  • A Bad Thing
    America was thus clearly top nation, and History came to a .
    • Chapter 62, page 123.
  • N.B. - Do not on any account attempt to write on both sides of the paper at once.
    • Test paper V, page 124.

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