Last modified on 30 September 2014, at 19:43

American Pie (film)

American Pie is a 1999 comedy about four teenage boys who enter a pact to lose their virginity by prom night. It was followed by its sequel, American Pie 2, in 2001, and American Wedding, in 2003.

Directed by Paul Weitz and Chris Weitz, written by Adam Herz.
There's something about your first piece. Taglines

Jim's DadEdit

  • [thinking of what to say about mangled apple pie] Well, we'll just tell your mother that eh, We ate it all.


Jim: Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like?
Kevin: You want to take this one?
Oz: Like warm apple pie.
Jim: Yeah?
Oz: Yeah.
Jim: Apple pie, huh?
Oz: Uh huh.
Jim: McDonald's or homemade?

Oz: [On being sensitive to women] All you got to do is to ask them questions, and listen to what they have to say and shit.
Stifler: I dunno man that...sounds like a lot of work!

Stifler: Fuck me! There's gonna be an Eastern European chick naked in your house and you're not going to do anything about it?
Jim: What am I supposed to do Stifler, broadcast her over the internet?
Stifler: Yeah!
Kevin: You can do that?
Jim: No I can't do that to her.
Stifler: Jim, get some fucking balls. If you can't bring yourself to photograph a naked chick, how the hell are you ever gonna sleep with one?
Finch: I don't like the kid but he's got a point Jim.
Stifler: See? Even Shit Break knows you should do it.

Jim: [Tries to make a move on a half-naked Nadia] Looks like you could use an extra hand.
Nadia: Jim!
Jim: Well, uh. Oh!
Nadia: [Puts on a shirt to cover herself] Shame on you!
Jim: Yes, shame on me. I'll just go.
Nadia: Well... you have seen me. Now it is my turn to see you. Strip.

Jim's Dad: [about sex] It's like playing a tennis ball against a brick wall, which can be fun. It can be fun - but it's not a game.
Jim: Right.
Jim's Dad: It's not a game.
Jim: No.
Jim's Dad: What you want is a partner to return the ball. You want a partner, don't you, son?
Jim: Oh yeah, Dad. I wan-I want a partner.
Jim's Dad: Good. Good. That's very good.

Finch: You have anything to drink?
Stifler's Mom: I believe the kegs are upstairs.
Finch: That is what the cretins drink. I'm talking about alcohol, liquor...the good stuff.
Stifler's Mom: I've got some Scotch.
Finch: Single malt?
Stifler's Mom: Aged 18 years. The way I like it.

Michelle: Oh! And this one time... at band camp... I stuck a flute in my pussy!
Jim: [taking a drink then realizes what she said and spits it out] Excuse me?
Michelle: What? You think I don't know how to get myself off? Hell, that's what half of band camp is... sex-ed. So are we gonna screw soon, 'cuz I'm getting kind of antsy!


  • There's something about your first piece.
  • Fill that sticky hole!
  • Come again!
  • Boy gets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy gets pie.


External linksEdit

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