Xiaolin Showdown

Xiaolin Showdown (2003-2006) is an animated television show created by Christy Hui, about a group of four young Xiaolin monks: Omi, Kimiko, Raimundo and Clay whose task is to collect powerful items known as Shen Gong Wu while battling the evil Jack Spicer and the ancient Heylin witch Wuya, who are also after the artifacts.

Season 1

The Journey of a Thousand Miles [1.1]

Narrator: Thousands of years ago, a furious battle was waged between the great and noble Xiaolin Dragon Dashi and the evil Heylin witch Wuya. This was the first Xiaolin Showdown. Wuya pitted her dark magic against Dashi and his mystical power objects, the Shen Gong Wu. In the end, Dashi triumphed, and Wuya was forever imprisoned in a simple wooden puzzle box. The threat averted, Dashi spread his Shen Gong Wu around the earth. For generations, they have secretly maintained the balance of good and evil. And a long line of Xiaolin Dragons has stood ready to face evil, should that balance ever shift.

[at the Xiaolin Temple, must deal with the new recruits, Raimundo Pedrosa, Kimiko Tohomiko, and Clay Bailey]

Master Fung: Omi, I would like you to meet Raimundo.

Raimundo: ‘Sup?

Master Fung: Kimiko.

Kimiko: He said that? [gasped] Hey. No way!

Master Fung: And Clay.

Clay: Howdy.

Omi: Master, where are the new students?

Master Fung: Right in front of you, Omi.

Omi: They are not what I expected.

Master Fung: The best things in life rarely are.

Omi: You are right, master. Welcome, my new and strangely-attired friends.

Master Fung: I must be going, young ones. I can see there is much teaching to be done here.

Omi: Yes, master. Much teaching indeed.

Omi: What is that? Is it magic?

Kimiko: It's a PDA. I'm sending a message to a friend in Tokyo.

Omi: A secret message?

Kimiko: Nah. I'm just telling her I met a very strange kid who apparently doesn't know about personal space issues.

Omi: Really? Who? [Points at Clay] Is it that guy?

Clay: Not me, partner.

Raimundo: It's you, chrome dome.

[Meanwhile, meet the evil boy genius, Jack Spicer]

Jack: I want to rule the whole world! All of it! Not some of it. Not just Iceland or Fiji. I wanna rule the whole world!

Jack-bot: Pardon me, sir.

Jack: What? Can’t you see I’m on an evil rant here?

Jack-bot: Yes, sir, but your father sent you a gift from Hong Kong.

[Handing Jack a puzzle box]

Jack: Oh, a puzzle box. Oh, let’s see. And my prize is...[Opens up the puzzle box revealing to be a mask] a mask? Lame. [Throws the box away] All right, back to world conquest. My favorite pastime. Now, let’s see. Europe might not be a bad place to start. Or is that too obvious? Could go in for the unexpected, like Paraguay. But is that enough of an attention grabber? Could go down through Africa, over to South America and...

Wuya: Onward to Asia.

Jack: [screamed in shock] Spooky ghost lady! Attack!

[Squad of Jackbots draw their chest blaster and fires at Wuya. Unfortunately, the projectiles ended up passing through Wuya's translucent ghostly form]

Wuya: Plans for world conquest? My dear boy, we have much in common. What’s your name?

Jack: Jack Spicer. Who are you? What are you?

Wuya: Me? I’m your new best friend.

Raimundo: Right. Like we're gonna take directions from a gecko.

Dojo: Gecko!? Don't ever call me gecko!

Raimundo: Eh, my mistakes.

Dojo: Wuya! Wow, the years have not been kind to you.

Master Fung: It is your most solemn duty as Xiaolin Warriors to find all the Shen Gong Wu before Wuya does.

Raimundo: [raises hand] I have a question.

Master Fung: Yes, Raimundo?

Raimundo: I saw my room, and no bed. Just a mat. What the dealy? [Everyone stares at him] Um, we can talk later...

Dojo: Can't believe I went from Temple Guardian to babysitter in less than a day!

Omi: And so our grand quest begins. Follow me, TO VICTORY! [From off-screen] I have no idea where I'm going.

[Raimundo turns off the game Omi is playing and Omi starts crying]

Omi: YAAH! MY LITTLE FRIEND HAS BEEN TAKEN BY THE DARK FORCES OF EVIL! [to the game] Po-chi are you in there?!Can you hear the sound of my voice?!

[Raimundo laughs and Kimiko punches him]

Kimiko: Don't mess with the monk!

Raimundo: [Grimacing] Girl, you hit hard!

Raimundo: It’s a what now?

Dojo: A Xiaolin Showdown. It’s what happens when two warriors reach a stalemate over a Shen Gong Wu. Two words: Freak-y.

Omi: Jack Spicer, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown! I wager my Two-Ton Tunic against your Mantis Flip Coin. Whoever reaches the last stone first wins the Eye of Dashi. And the other Shen Gong Wu as well.

Wuya: Accept the challenge. Accept it!

Jack: I accept your challenge, Omi.

Omi: Let’s go! Xiaolin Showdown!

Dojo: That’s a Xiaolin Showdown for ya. Always keeps you guessing. Gong Yi Tanpai! That means “go”.

Master Fung: You have all done exceptionally well. Wouldn’t you agree, Dojo?

Dojo: Not bad, for amateurs.

Master Fung: The journey of a thousand miles begins with but a single step.

Dojo: Where do you get this stuff?

Master Fung: I have a desk calendar.

Omi: Master Fung, there are so many Shen Gong Wu left to be found.

Master Fung: Your new friends will help.

Omi: Oh, yes, master. I have already taught much to Kimiko, Raimundo, and Clay.

Master Fung: But, Omi, they are here to teach you.

Omi: But I am the chosen one.

Master Fung: You aren’t the only chosen one, Omi. Someday your new friends may become Dragons, as well. Kimiko, the Dragon of Fire. Clay, the Dragon of Earth. And Raimundo, the Dragon of the Wind.

Omi: Is this true, master?

Master Fung: Yes, but I didn’t want to tell you until you were ready.

[Omi groans]

Clay: I don’t think he was ready.

Like a Rock! [1.2]

Raimundo: You knew you couldn't beat us with your old man kung fu.

Omi: [laughing hysterically] Raimundo mocks Clay's Tai Chi by calling it "old man kung fu!" He implies Clay is like an old man doing kung fu!

Omi: I foolishly and shamefully lost a quarter second on the sandbags. As you might say, I smell bad.

Raimundo: I stink, not I smell bad.

Omi: I stink?

Raimundo: Yeah, and you smell bad, too. [laughs]

Raimundo: Dibs on the Eye of Dashi!

Omi: No! You cannot have it! You do not know what it will do!

Raimundo: Sure I do, it's supposed to shoot lightning or something. Besides, I called it.

Omi: But I won it in the showdown! I should be the first to use it!

Master Fung: Fighting over a Shen Gong Wu? Are you two trying to start a Xiaolin Showdown?

Omi: Master Fung, please decide which (one) of us should take the Eye of Dashi.

Master Fung: Hmm. It should go to the winner of the obstacle course challenge

Omi: In your head, Raimundo!

Raimundo: In your face.

Omi: Talk to my fingers!

Master Fung: I didn't mean you, Omi. Clay was the fastest.

Omi: [not believing it; shocked] WHAT?! But he…

Master Fung: Use it well.

Clay: Much obliged, Master Fung, sir.

Master Fung: The Mantis Flip Coin and the Two-Ton Tunic.

Raimundo: Yeah, yeah, all right.

Kimiko: Thank you, Master Fung.

Omi: [upset] I get no Shen Gong Wu?

Omi: The battle is over, Spicer! You lost.

Jack: Whatever shall we do?

Wuya: Perhaps they should meet our new friend, Le Mime.

Kimiko: [chuckles] You brought a mime?

Raimundo: What are you gonna do, annoy us to death?

[Le Mime traps them inside a magical box]

Kimiko: [believing the box is imaginary] Look at him, he's pretending to put us inside a box. [laughs] So lame. [sarcastically] Oh, no! We are trapped! We can not get out!

Omi: Very silly. I- [hits his head on an invisible solid wall] Hey.

Raimundo: [hits his head as well] Oh! There is a wall here.

Kimiko: Uh, guys? We really are trapped!

Jack: You kids have fun. We're off to get the Fist of Tebigong.

[Clay can't hear the others through the magical box because their voices are inaudible]

Omi: He cannot hear us.

Kimiko: He thinks we're playing charades.

Raimundo: Fine. I got a charade for him.

Dojo: Ooh, that Fist of Tebigong must be close, 'cause I'm getting a wicked case of Shen Gong Wu rash! Yeah, it kinda itches here, but it's more burny down there, and behind the my tail I've got this unsightly cracking. I mean it, it's ooh.

Kimiko: I meant with the location of the Shen Gong Wu!

Jack: First order of business when I rule the world: vaporize all mimes.

Raimundo: There has gotta be some way outta here. Okay. Those walls are solid.

Kimiko: Let me try. [she throws Raimundo on a mime wall] You're right. Those walls are solid.

Raimundo: Well, this is nice, eh? The three of us friends having a few laughs together. But where's our fourth friend, Mr. Clay? Oh, that's right. HE'S LOSING THE FIST OF TEBIGONG TO JACK SPICER! DID YOU GUYS FORGET THAT?!

[Clay and Jack touch the Fist of Tebigong and start their Xiaolin Showdown]

Jack: Clay, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown!

Clay: Name your game, Jack.

Jack: [spots an Indian blue robin bird] That robin. First one to catch it wins.

Omi: Ohh! Catch a robin?

Clay: Okay, Jack, I accept your challenge.

Omi, Raimundo & Kimiko: Ohh!

Jack: Sucker!

Clay & Jack: Let's go, Xiaolin Showdown!

Kimiko: [clutching her stomach; dizzily] Still not used to that.

Jack: Ready, cowboy?

Clay: Ready as I'll ever be.

Clay & Jack: GONG YI TANPAI!

Raimundo: So, Clay? Can I give the Eye of Dashi a try?

Clay: Sure thing, Raimundo.

Omi: What? Why? I should try it before you. I found it.

Raimundo: Your snooze, your lose!

Omi: Then perhaps, I'll try the Fist of Tebigong on your head!

Kimiko: Guys, knock it off! Or I'll Third Arm Sash your mouths shut!

Tangled Web [1.3]

[Episode starts with Kimiko and Jack climbing up a mountain to reach the Monkey Staff]

Jack: [using the Jetbootsu to walk up the mountain] You know this a showdown, right, Kimiko?

Kimiko: You maybe those boots make you look like a dweeb, right, Jack?

Omi: Yuck! This candy tastes most unpleasant!

Raimundo: That 'cause it's lipstick.

Dojo: [shivering] This water's cold. I'm tellin' ya, I don't know how my cousin, Nessie, stands living here! 'Course, if you ask me, she likes all the attention! "Hey, look! It's the Loch Ness Monster!"

Scottish Man: [offscreen] Hey, look! It's the Loch Ness Monster!

Dojo: See?

Jack Spicer: Standard for my folk’s parties. Snobfest a-go-go.

Ashley (Katnappé): So, are you Jack? the kid they’re all talking about upstairs?

Jack Spicer: [Perking up hopefully] They’re talking about me?! Are they calling me a genius?!

Ashley (Katnappé): More like “weirdo”

Jack Spicer: WHAT’S SO WEIRD ABOUT ME?!

Omi: I am very surprised Kimiko can lift such a heavy pot with her delicate female arms.

Kimiko: [angry] WHAT!?!?

Omi: The Golden Tiger Claws are inside that palace?

Dojo: That's what this rash is telling me. Ohhh. Wonder if there's an ointment for this? Ahhhh-hhhh!

Raimundo: How do we get in there?

Clay: Maybe if we knock on the door and ask real nice like?

Dojo: That's the Emperor Palace. They don't just let anybody in there. We need connections!

Kimiko: Oh, no worries. I'll call my dad.

Katnappe! [1.4]

Jack Spicer: Stay out of this Ashley.

Katnappé: My evil name's Katnappe, doofus.

Jack Spicer: Who you calling' doofus, Kitty Litter?

Katnappé: Who you calling' Kitty Litter, Robo-freak?

Wuya: Enough! Cease your bickering.

Dojo: [after Omi's defeat] What happened? I blinked and missed it.

Katnappé: See you, Xiaolin Warriors. I've got more shopping to do. Me-ow!

Dojo: Except for the parts where she slapped us silly and got away, I think that went pretty well.

Jack Spicer: What did you just do?

Omi: I sent the Golden Tiger Claws to the Earth's core.

Clay: Been nice, not fightin' with ya, mam.

Katnappe: Why did you do that? You're so stupid.

Omi: Perhaps I will never get to use the Golden Tiger Claws, but neither will you.

Jack Spicer : Get in, Ashley.

Kimiko: And that's victory enough for us.

Shen Yi Bu [1.5]

Jack: Uh-huh, hmm. So, Mr. Tubbimura, tell us about yourself. Why should Jack Spicer, evil incorporated, hire you?

Tubbimura: [Bowing] Hai. Well, er, I have, as you can see, extensive experience wreaking havoc and destruction.

Jack: Yeah not really looking for H and D.

Tubbimura: Er, I also have solid grasp of mayhem.

Wuya: Mayhem is good.

Jack: There's always a need for mayhem.

Dojo: [with a stuffy red nose; nasally] I got good news and bad news. [unveils the Shen Gong Wu Scroll] The good news is another Shen Gong Wu has revealed itself. The bad news is… [sneezes] The bad news is this is what makes me sneeze.

Raimundo: [wipes the soot off his pants] No, the bad news is I don't have fireproof pants.

Dojo: [aggrivated] Oh, thanks. Very supportive. [sneezes again]

Omi: Ah, the Sword of the Storm. I've studied this particular Shen Gong Wu for many years. There are things of which you must be aware when using this wind Shen Gong Wu.

Raimundo: [thinking] Oh, man. This dude can talk. Get to the point already.

Omi: Once, a knowledgeable warrior can blah the Sword of the blah, blah, blah. It is all blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Tubbimura: Hai. You are correct. I am Tubbimura, mighty warrior of the ninja arts. Hai.

Raimundo: Nice to meet you. I'm Raimundo, Xiaolin Dragon of the wind, in training.

Tubbimura: Enough babble. Surrender the Sword of the Storm or be delta with in the harshest of manners.

Kimiko: You found the Sword of the Storm?

Raimundo: Yeah.

Clay: But you lost it?

Raimundo: It wasn't my fault. That sword didn't even work.

Omi: Did you not remember what I said about this Shen Gong Wu?

Raimundo: Well, yeah, of course I did. I… [notices everyone glaring at him] What?

Kimiko: You didn't hear a word about the Sword of the Storm, did you?

Raimundo: I, uh… might have missed the middle part.

[Kimiko groans and facepalms as Omi growls in irritation with his face turning red]

Clay: Raimundo was defeated by a wind Shen Gong Wu? But ain't wind your dragon element?

Raimundo: [admitting] Yeah, yeah. I get the point. I messed up. Like you guys never make mistakes.

Tubbimura: You must choose. Drop the Sword of the Storm or fall.

Raimundo: 'Kay, I choose fall.

Master Fung: You weren't defeated by your opponent Raimundo.

Raimundo: Oh, no? Would you like to see the impression of his boot on my butt?

Master Fung: [Hurriedly] Oh, that won't be necessary. You were defeated by your lack of knowledge. Remember, a drop of knowledge is more powerful than a sea of force.

Raimundo: [Sighs] Can't anyone speak normally around here?

Master Fung: Reflect on these things. As for me, I think I shall try my hand at Goo Zombies 2.

[As Raimundo and Tubbimura start their showdown]

Clay: I hope Raimundo knows what he's doing.

Kimiko: How can he? Even Omi doesn't know what he's doing, and he's an expert.

Jack: [after Dojo sneezes on him, burned up] Gesundheit.

Chameleon [1.6]

Jack: Oh, I'm leaving alright, and you're coming with me!

Kimiko: Oh, really, who's gonna make me?

Jack: Kimiko, meet Kimiko. Or should I say, meet your match.

Raimundo: Being a lucky guesser, guess which cup the candy is under. [places a piece of candy on the table and covers it with one of the three cups] If you're right, you keep it. If you're wrong, you owe me.

Clay: Face it, Raimundo. He's all over you like stink on a skunk.

Raimundo: Ah-ah! The master isn't through yet. Gotcha, don't I?

Omi: No, the Ace is in your sleeve. I only hesitate because I'm thinking of Kimiko again. Or perhaps I should say, the one who calls herself Kimiko.

Raimundo: You're tiger instincts are keen, bro. But your theory about Kim is… I don't know, it's-

Clay: Buggier than a June bug?

Raimundo: Yeah, it's buggier than a June bug.

Omi: No. I am sure of myself on this matter. But if you will not listen, perhaps Master Fung will.

Omi: [points at Chameleonbot (in the form of Kimiko) stealing all the Shen Gong Wu; to Clay and Raimundo] See? You see, you see, you see?!

Clay: I see but…I do not wanna believe.

Raimundo: NIFTY! I should've caught it at NIFTY!

Omi: Imposter, show your true form!

Chameleonbot (as Kimiko): How about if I show you this instead?

Clay: [as the Eye of Dashi's lightning blast strikes through his hat] Aw, man! That's the second hat this week. Now I'm mad! [starts huffing and puffing in fury]

Raimundo: Let's get in the game, my man!

Wuya: You have done well, Jack Spicer.

Jack: Evil Genius well?

Wuya: Don't ruin the moment.

Jack: Sorry.

Ring of the Nine Dragons [1.7]

Raimundo: Hey, Dojo. What's shakin'?

Dojo: Me! A new Shen Gong Wu just activated!

Master Fung: The Ring of the Nine Dragons makes one warrior into as many as nine.

Omi: Nine different places at one time? Ooh, that would be most helpful!

Kimiko: At this point, any Shen Gong Wu would be helpful.

Raimundo: True. We've only got one left.

Clay: Thanks to that dirty snake, Jack Spicer.

Jack: Any idea where we're going?

Wuya: No, but I could always glide through the walls and peek ahead.

Jack: [nervously unsure] Uh… N-not a good idea.

Wuya: Why? You're not afraid of the dark, are you?

Jack: Me? Jack Spicer, evil boy genius, afraid of the dark? Don't be ridiculous.

Omi: [sneaks into the Shen Gong Wu vault and steals the Ring of the Nine Dragons] I do not wish to be overwhelmed by the ring's power. Nine Omis may be too many. I'll start with three. [puts the ring on his finger; quietly] Ring of the Nine Dragons. [magically divided into three clones of himself]

[The three Omi clones meet each other at dawn]

Omi: My viper strike was not very good.

Dizzy Omi: I never made it past level one.

Fat Omi: I ate cookie dough all night. [belches] Oh, may I never be hungry again.

Master Fung: [off-screen] Omi?

Omi Clones: [gasp] Master Fung!

Master Fung: The Falcon's Eye gives one the ability to see through solid objects.

Raimundo: Even through Clay?

Clay: Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Omi: [uses the Ring of the Nine Dragons to divide himself into five clones] Now remember, we must find the.. er... thingie!

Omi Clones: [scratching heads] Oh, yes, we must find, we have to find the thingie!

Kimiko: [running up to Fat Omi] Omi, what happened? Are you all right?

Fat Omi: [pressing his hands on his head; moaning in pain] The snow! THE SNOW!

Kimiko: What about the snow?

Fat Omi: It's cold! Not like cookie dough.

Kimiko: Are you telling me you've got brain freeze?

[Back at the Xiaolin temple, Omi is punished to clean a huge pile of dirty dishes for disobeying Master Fung's order of using the Ring of the Nine Dragons]

Master Fung: I want them spotless, Omi. Spotless. [holds up a brush and gives him a sharped scowl]

Omi: [sadly understanding] Yes, Master. [takes the brush] Spotless.

[Kimiko, Raimundo, and Clay watch from outside the kitchen]

Master Fung: I will inspect your work in one hour. [leaves the kitchen, slamming the door shut]

[Omi looks at his reflection in all the dishes with sadness, representing his clones]

Kimiko: Wow, I've never seen Master Fung so upset.

Clay: He looked as mad as a beaver in a petrified forest.

Omi: Master Fung is right to be angry (with me). [starts getting to work] I have acted most shamefully. Because of my disobedience, we still only have one Shen Gong Wu.

Raimundo: Yeah, true. [Kimiko angrily nudges him in the arm] Ow! What?! I'm just agreeing with what he said. Besides, maybe it's better this way.

Night of the Sapphire Dragon [1.8]

[Dojo and the Xiaolin monks arrive at an Indonesian volcano]

Raimundo: [disgusted by the smell] Ohh! That's rank, yo!

Omi: The volcano's odor is most stinky. [to Dojo] Are you sure you smell a Shen Gong Wu?

Dojo: Pssh. Does Clay wear his boots to bed?

Kimiko: Eww.

Raimundo: [sees the black dragon Wu through binoculars] There it is! But what is it?

Omi: We would already know…

Raimundo: [glares at Kimiko] If someone didn't forget to bring the Ancient Scroll of the Shen Gong Wu.

Kimiko: I told you I was sorry.

Omi: You allowed the painting of smiley faces on your fingernails to distract you from your duties!

Kimiko: Panda faces, hello?

Raimundo: Meanwhile, back at the volcano, are we gonna bag this Wu or what?

[Dojo, Omi, and Raimundo look through the Shen Gong Wu scroll and find the Sapphire Dragon]

Omi: Ha! Right there!

Raimundo: The Sapphire Dragon.

Omi: The most dangerous Shen Gong Wu. It is only to be used as an absolute last resort. It will turn your enemy into a sapphire statue.

Raimundo: And a guy next door, the old lady down the street, the kids at the playground.

[After getting almost blasted by the Sapphire Dragon]

Raimundo: You think he'd be grateful we rescued him from the volcano.

Dojo: Alright then, just remember, you asked for it! [panicking whimpering]

Dojo: So, that's it. Harmless bauble once again?

Omi: The Sapphire Dragon shall trouble us no more.

Dojo: Maybe I can be the dragon of…FIRE!

Kimiko: Sorry, position's filled.

Dojo: Then how 'bout soot?

Raimundo: Soot? Not impressive.

Dojo: And this is comin' from the wind guy? Ooh! How 'bout gas, huh? I eat a few cans o' beans and BAM! I'm in, baby!

My Homey Omi [1.9]

[Episode starts with the Xiaolin monks and Dojo in New York City]

Omi: [sees the statue of Lady Liberty through binoculars] Whoa! Who is that lady?

Kimiko: That's the Statue of Liberty, Omi.

Omi: She must have been a great Xiaolin warrior, to get a statue that big.

Dojo: Good luck. The Serpent's Tail is always moving.

Omi: Oh, no! My friends are lost in New York City! How will they survive without ME?!

Kimiko: Dojo, anything you can do here?

Dojo: Eh...uh, gee guys. I-I-I'm not big on trains. A-and that third rail really chafes.

Kimiko: Dojo!

Dojo: Okay, okay.

Jermaine: [To Jack] Are you afraid of getting whooped little boy?

Jack Spicer: Okay, got the Shen Gong Wu. Now, a little vaporizing of our enemies, and we'll call it a day.

Big as Texas [1.10]

Omi: [holding Clay's hat as Raimundo fills it up with milk] Are you sure Clay wants us to do this?

Raimundo: Of course. Remember, if the hat doesn't hold ten gallons, he gets to return it for a free one.

Omi: But why does it have to be milk?

Raimundo: Cowboys, cow milk.

Omi: Milk comes from cows, too? We get ours from mountain goats here.

Clay: Hey, fellas. [shocked in outrage when he sees what's going on] Huh?!

Omi: Only a nine-and-a-half gallons. You get a free hat!

Clay: [angrily] Raimundo!

Raimundo: Think fast! [tosses the filled hat of milk at a furious Clay who then chases him around the room] Hey, what's one hat compared to your best friend Raimundo's life?

Clay: [enraged] You are Texas toast, Rai!

[Dojo opens the Shen Gong Wu Scroll, showing the Orb of Tornami being revealed]

Master Fung: Ah, the Orb of Tornami. Its small mouth holds back a mighty flood.

Kimiko: Here's how it's going down, cow. I roped you, you get roped. Nobody gets hurt, nobody sues. Ready...Go!

Raimundo: [cringing] What... did I just land in?

Clay: That would be a cow pie.

Raimundo: No! I know pies! Pies have cherry, or apple, or rhubarb! THIS IS NO PIE!

Daddy Bailey: Clay, I reckon you've been a man longer than I realized.

Jack: [To Wuya] How come we don't have a relationship like that?

Wuya: I'm not your mommy! Now pick up your toys Jackie, and let's go home.

Royal Rumble [1.11]

Jack Spicer: Technically, you don't sweat either but you still manage to put off some serious B.O., sister.

Wuya: I'm surprised you can smell anything considering how often you have you little fingers up your nostrils!

Kimiko: Omi, please tell Clay that he's blocking my light.

Omi: Clay, I have a message from-

Clay: Omi, tell Kimiko that I'll cast my shadow wherever I darn well please.

Omi: Kimiko, Clay responds-

Kimiko: Tell Clay that maybe his shadow wasn't so fat and huge.

Omi: Clay, Kim-

Raimundo: Omi, tell Kimiko and Clay that they're both… [head enlarges; agitated] GIVING ME A HEADACHE!

Wuya: Oh! Three Shen Gong Wu! No, wait!

Dojo: [blubbering] This is ridiculous! It's not three, [stammering] but…

Dojo & Wuya: Four! Four Shen Gong Wu activating at the same time!

Omi: The Lotus Twister has the power to turn your limbs into stretchable rubber.

Clay: [after Tubbimura wins the Tongue of Saiping; shivering] I don't suppose you got a blanket you could spare.

Omi: My friends! Hearing the sound of your voices again will give me tremendous pleasure.

Kimiko: Omi!

Clay: Run!

Raimundo: It's a trap!

Omi: That did not give me as much pleasure as I had hoped.

Jack: You know this trap would never have worked if I hadn't lost my Xiaolin Showdown in the first place. Wait, that didn't come out right.

Omi: Sun Chi Lantern! [absorbs his friends' chi energies]

Wuya: Stop him! He's merging his chi energy with the others!

Kimko's voice: FIRE!

Clay's voice: EARTH!

Raimundo's voice: WIND!

Jack: Don't make me bust you up, little man. [Omi makes his signature water move, making him run away, screaming]

Wuya: Wait! Where do you think you're going?! [goes after him] GET BACK HERE, YOU COWARD!

Kimiko: We got the Serpent's Tail, the Orb of Tornami…

Clay: The Longi Kite…

Raimundo: And the Tongue of Saiping, which I do not recommend touching.

Mala Mala Jong [1.12]

[Jack Spicer is creating a Shen Gong Wu spreadsheet on his computer, knowing what Xiaolin and Heylin has]

Wuya: Let me guess…you're downloading more of your vapid hippity-hop music.

Jack Spicer: [imitates buzzer] I'm working up a Shen Gong Wu spreadsheet so we can know who has what. Check it. We have the Eye of Dashi, they have the Tongue of Saiping. We have the Third Arm Sash, they've got the Longi Kite. And those really cool Golden Tiger Claws… Omi sent them to the Earth's core, so nobody has them. How do I file that one?

Wuya: I don't need a scorekeeper! I need someone who will retrieve the Shen Gong Wu and waist time with- wait! I am sensing a new Shen Gong Wu! [gasps] It is the most important of them all. The Heart of Jong!

Jack Spicer: Smell ya later, losers! [Tries to fly off but has his foot caught in a lasso]

Clay: You'll smell us NOW, ya dirty snake!

Kimiko: Smell us now?

Raimundo: Clay's villain taunting needs some serious work.

[Jack and Wuya have put some of the Shen Gong Wu together and Mala Mala Jong rises to life]

Wuya: Jack Spicer, behold… Mala Mala Jong! Mala Mala Jong is an ancient demon warrior. Powerful… Deadly… And invincible.

Omi: Master, how will we fight this Mala Mala Jong?

Master Fung: You won't, Omi. You and the other chosen ones will take our Shen Gong Wu and flee the temple grounds immediately. [holds up his hand, silencing the Xiaolin monks as they're about to complain] The remaining Shen Gong Wu must not fall into Wuya's hands. You will protect them at all costs. Now go!

Raimundo: I didn't spend all this time training to just run and hide! I'm not afraid of this Mala Mala Ding-Jong thing!

Master Fung: This is no time for recklessness, Raimundo. Do as you are told.

Kimiko: Now what? We just camp out here and wait?

Dojo: How 'bout we "sing songs"? Or-or tell "ghost stories"? Or ah..oh, oh, oh, oh! I know. S'mores!

Raimundo: Mala Mala Jong could be attacking the temple right now! We should be fighting with Master Fung!

Omi: Master Fung ordered us to guard the Shen Gong Wu.

Raimundo: But...

Omi: All we can do is formulate a plan to defeat Mala Mala Jong in case...

Clay: Master Fung fails.

Omi: [appearing on the field of a football game] Oh, missed again! Hey, what a pleasant setting. [a football lands in his hands] Huh! [screams in terror as some football players charge towards him] Serpent's Tail!

In the Flesh [1.13]

Jack: Hey you know what they say, finders keepers, losers weepers.

Omi: The only one being a weeping loser is you Jack Spicer! And you Wuya! You shall weep over your loss as well!

Jack: Wow! That is the lamest taunt ever. Stick to the jumping and kicking Omi.

Omi: As you wish!

Raimundo: So, that's the way it's gonna be, huh?

Kimiko: You tell us, Raimundo.

Clay: You can always drop the Shen Gong Wu and leave.

Raimundo: Nah, I'm up for a Xiaolin slap down.

Omi: Raimundo, I am starting to think you are not enacting some sort of SECRET ELABORATE PLAN.

Raimundo: Nothin' escapes you, Omi.

Omi: Not even you!

Raimundo: Wrong.

[After Raimundo escapes the Xiaolin temple by stealing the Serpent's Tail…]

Omi: [heartbroken] Raimundo really has betrayed us.

Master Fung: Raimundo stole our Shen Gong Wu? This is most troubling.

Dojo: If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, put a padlock on this thing!

Clay: There's a bright side. He only rustled up one… the Serpent's Tail.

Omi: Why would Raimundo take just one Shen Gong Wu?

Master Fung: Because that one Shen Gong Wu is all Wuya needs.

Kimiko: Is the Serpent's Tail really all that?

Dojo: You got that ominous thing going on. Care to spill the beans?

Master Fung: On its own, the Serpent's Tail is no great threat, it makes a solid person ghostly.

Dojo: But combined with Reversing Mirror...

Omi: It would turn a ghostly person solid!

Clay & Kimiko: Wuya!

Master Fung: Precisely.

Kimiko: This is bad. Very, very bad.

Omi: If I had hair, it would be standing on end.

Dojo: If I had boots, I'd be quaking in them.

Clay: Wanna borrow mine?

Dojo: No thanks. No feet.

[Wuya cackles evilly as she has been revived to her solid body]

Omi: Wuya?

Wuya: In the flesh.

Season 2

Days Past [2.1]

Dojo: Hah! The joke's on you Wuya! You broke the Reversing Mirror. Seven years bad luck! In, your, face!

Wuya: Actually, since its the Reversing Mirror, its seven years good luck.

Dojo: Ooh, hadn't thought of that. Crud.

Omi: I am most confused. If you were just going to give me the pebble, why make me go through the whole Showdown?

Dashi: Two reasons. One, it was funny.

Dojo: True.

Dashi: Two, to teach you something.

Wuya: Crush them.

Dojo: [girly shriek] A retreat might be in order, here!

Citadel of Doom [2.2]

Kimiko: You...You...YOU!...

Clay: Doofus?

Kimiko: [to Clay] Thank you. [to Jack] YOU DOOFUS! You trapped Omi in the past forever!

Wuya: Delicious. My domination of the world is now...complete.

Raimundo: Uh, Wuya? You might wanna do head count. You're short one, Omi.

Wuya: Omi? [gasps, poof] Where's Omi?

Clay: Frankly, It's none of your business, Ma'am.

Wuya: Oh, as they say I have ways to making you talk.

Jack: He's trapped in a past!

Raimundo: What?

Jack: Yeah. He traveled back in time as some guy named Dashi for help!

Wuya: Omi's in a past?

Kimiko: Yes. And now he's trapped there!

Jack: And it was me who sent him back, Wuya! I was really on your side all the way! Stupid Omi walked right in to our trap! WOO-HOO! You can let me go now.

Wuya: Forget it, Jack. I'm not buying it.

Jack: Really? Even if I whimper? [whimpers]

Raimundo: Omi's really trapped in the past?

Kimiko: We'll never see him again, thanks to you!

Dojo: And I hope you feel guilty about it.

Clay: Yeah, nice going, you two-faced fink.

Raimundo: I...I never wanted anything happen to you guys, I...I just wanted my due.

Wuya: And now you're got it, Raimundo. To the dungeon with them!

Raimundo: Wait, wait! Wuya. What if these guys. You know swear loyalty to you. Maybe they could sort a live the the palace? With me?

Wuya: If, they swear their loyalty.

Raimundo: C'mon, guys! You won't believe the stuff she's got video games, racecars, speed boats...

Jack: Sold! You can let me go now.

Wuya: The offer's not for you, Jack.

Jack: Buy, you really hold the grudge.

Raimundo: Guys, Wuya rules the whole world. So, c'mon, join the winning team already. What do you say?

Kimiko: What do we say? How about...DREAM ON!

Clay': I'd sooner kiss the backside of a mule.

Dojo: [offscreen] Forget it!

Kimiko: What's the matter, Rai? You look pretty bored for a guy who rules the world.

Raimundo: What are you doing here!? Did you decide to join me?

Clay: Nope. Still rather kiss the backside of a mule.

Kimiko: We escaped, Raimundo. So be cool and let us go.

Dojo: Or be a loser and come after us.

Raimundo: Better run, 'cause I'm coming after you.

Kimiko: Have it your way.

Raimundo: C'mon. We got some former friends to catch.

Wuya: How like Dashi to give you the tool but not the knowledge of how to use it. He always was a fool. A smart dresser, but a fool.

Jack: Me? Fighting for good? In a bathrobe? Forget it. Next time we meet, we're enemies again.

[Is about to fly off when Omi grabs his trenchcoat and gives him sad eyes.]

Jack: But maybe some time, if we're not fighting over Shen Gong Wu, we can all go for ice cream. My treat.

Omi: Yes that would be most nice. We could get a Monday!

Clay: Sundae.

Omi: Even better!

The Shard of Lightning [2.3]

Wuya: You thought I'd stay out of that box forever, didn't you?

Omi: Yes, I did, Wuya. Well, another 1500 years would have been nice!

Both Jacks: Shard of Lightning!

[Everything freezes in time]

Master Fung: As soon as the user brings forth the power of the Shard, he can move so fast no one can see him.

Jack: I got the big guy. You get the little monk, Jack. [takes the Eye of Dashi out of Raimundo's hand] The hand is faster than even the Eye of Dashi. [then places a bucket of water over his head] That should teach them to mess with Jack Spicer.

Robo-Jack: [referring to Omi] What to do with the cheese ball? Ah! [switches the Golden Tiger Claws with a squirrel]

Jack: Nah. Not evil enough. [hammers Omi's shoes to the ground]

Robo-Jack: Why stop there? [pulls down Omi's pants]

Jack: Perfect!

Master Fung: But the powers of the Shard only last as long as the flash of lightning.

Omi: I would not count your ducks before they emerge from their shells!

Raimundo:...that one wasn't even close.

Omi: I challenge you, Jack Spicer, and also you, Jack Spicer double, to a showdown trio! Last man standing wins the game. I wager the Tongue of Saiping!

Jack: I wager the Shard of Lightning!

Robo-Jack: I wager the Shroud of Shadows!

Jack: I change my mind. I want the Shroud of Shadows.

Robo-Jack: Too late. It's already mine.

Omi: Let's go. Xiaolin Showdown!

Omi: [impatiently] Hello, I'm ready to showdown here!

The Crystal Glasses [2.4]

Dojo: Looks like the first of the Shen Gong Wu just popped.

Kimiko: It says the Crystal Glasses allow(s) the wearer to see into the future.

Omi: I already know my future. I will be the most wise and powerful and swiftest of all Xiaolin dragons!

Raimundo: You left out modest.

[Later… Dojo and the Xiaolin monks are flying to Russia while the monks are scratching his rash]

Omi: [scratching Dojo's rash with the Fist of Tebigong] I do not think the Fist of Tebigong was meant for this purpose.

Dojo: Ohhh, yeah! Yeah, right there. Ohh, yeah.

Kimiko: [disgusted] Eww! Let's hope the rest of those Shen Gong Wu reveal themselves before you run out of scales.

Raimundo: [takes the shades off his eyes, revealing he's using the Crystal Glasses] Looking for these?

Omi & Raimundo: Raimundo, did you not hear Master Fung?! This Shen Gong Wu is no toy! [growls]

Vlad: [laughing] Is funny!

Master Fung: The power of the Crystal Glasses should not be taken lightly.

Wuya: [Talking to Omi] Soon you will be my greatest ally!

Jack: I'll even write your own evil theme music! [dramatic music plays] Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun!

Omi: This is NOT right!

Pandatown [2.5]

Jack Spicer: [To Pandabubba] All you want is Hong Kong?! Can't I at least get double-crossed by somebody with some vision?

Raimundo: Come on, guys. You're making this too easy for me.

Raimundo: Come on, Omi! It’s a classic gong game!

Omi: Okay, I hear your concerns and I will take them under advisement with the apprentice’s. Clay, Kimiko?

Clay: I reckon’ we don't have a better choice.

Kimiko: Let’s give a shot.

Raimundo: What?! You’re believing Jack Spicer over ME?! That’s it! I'm finding my own way in, and anyone who wants can go with me!

Clay: Two-Ton Tunic!

Raimundo: Eye of Dashi!

Kimiko: Third-Arm Sash!

Omi: Orb of Tornami!

Raimundo: Jack, I challenge you to a…

Pandabubba: [clears throat] A Showdown Trio. This was on your cheat sheet, too.

Jack: Fine. How 'bout my Tangle Web Comb for Raimundo's Eye of Dashi, and Pandabubba's Fist of Tebigong?

Raimundo: I'm cool with that. Winner takes the Longi Kite. What's the showdown?

Pandabubba: Last boat afloat wins the showdown.

Raimundo, Jack & Pandabubba: [in unison] Let's go, Xiaolin Showdown!

Kimiko: Come on, Rai. You can still win this.

Omi: Just think: "What would Omi do"?

Wuya: What happens in Pandatown, stays in Pandatown.

Omi: Dragon X Kumei! WATER!

Clay: EARTH!

Kimiko: FIRE!

Raimundo: WIND!

Sizing Up Omi [2.6]

Dojo: The Wings of Tinabi lets you fly like an eagle, leaving a cool rainbow vapor trail.

Omi: It is one step forward and two steps back. Perhaps the secret lies within the food. I shall eat until I am big! [starts scarfing down some food]

Clay: You know, we got a saying down in Texas: "You can't put a 20-gallon head in a 10-gallon hat."

Raimundo: Yeah. You just made that up. Hey, here's an idea! Watch this! Changing Chopsticks! [uses the chopsticks to shrink down the food] Now you can eat every last bite.

Omi: [finds the solution to the problem] Raimundo, that is the answer! I will grow bigger backwards!

Kimiko: You got me on that one.

Omi: Clay, may I please borrow the Reversing Mirror? Raimundo, may I please borrow the Changing Chopsticks?

Clay: Where are you going with this, Omi?

Omi: Changing Chopsticks! Reversing Mirror! [combines the effects of both the Wu and grows into a massive size] Now there is nothing I cannot accomplish! Except perhaps explaining to Master Fung about the temple ceiling.

Omi: Cyclops is still unstoppable. And now because of me, we have lost two Shen Gong Wu.

Clay: Don't be so down on yourself, Omi. I'm the one who blew the showdown.

Omi: Yes, but only because I was not there to fight your battle. It is I to blame for your most humiliating defeat.

Clay: Uh-huh. Excuse me while I crawl under a rock.

Omi: Since you clearly cannot get along without me, I will return to regular size. Changing Chopsticks! [shrinks down and finds he's a little shorter than his friends] Hmm. I do not remember my fellow warriors being quite so big.

Clay: Yeah. Maybe you ought to give that bronco another ride.

Omi: Changing Chopsticks! [shrinks a little bit] Changing Chopsticks! [shrinks a little more] Changing Chopsticks!

Kimiko: [kneels down] Maybe you should stop while there's something left.

Raimundo: You know, you used the Reversing Mirror and the Changing Chopsticks to get into this. I'll bet you need 'em both to get out.

Clay: [sighs] I'm afraid 'cause of me, we're shy one Reversing Mirror.

Omi: I have much thinking to do. Can you carry me to the temple? If I walk, I fear it will take many months.

Clay: You okay down there, partner?

Omi: Oh, yes! Dojo's earwax is most convenient! But I do wish I had a better view. Ah, that is much better!

Dojo: Better hope I don't sneeze!

Omi: Nooo, you have very clean sinuses! I thank you!

Jack Wings of Tinabi! [screams as he flies out of control]

Wuya: Take off those wings!

Jack: HOW DO YOU CONTROL THESE THINGS?!

Enter the Dragon [2.7]

Omi: Has Dojo ever gotten out of his box?

Master Fung: It's only happened once. It was the last time anyone saw... Atlantis.

Master Fung: One of you will have to remain behind to watch Dojo.

Omi: Master Fung is wise as always. Raimundo, you will remain behind.

[Raimundo growls sharply]

Master Fung: No, Omi, you will be the one who stays.

Omi: Why should I remain behind and Raimundo go? It took him the longest to become an apprentice, and no one thought he would make it!

Raimundo: [clears throat] Ahem.

Omi: Uh, I mean, except for me?

Dojo: [as Master Fung] Omi, it is Master Fung. Dojo is holding me prisoner!

Omi: No. I do not believe you! [eats an eggroll]

Dojo: [as a sad little girl; crying] Please let me out. I'm lost! [cries]

Omi: No! No, I cannot!

Dojo: [as a mother version of Omi] Omi, this is your mother speaking. You open that door this instant!

Omi: Dojo, you are merely wasting your efforts. Besides, I am an orphan.

Dojo: [as Omi] Omi, it's Omi. You've got to let me out!

Omi: [irritated] Oh, this is now getting most ridiculous!

Two-Headed Dojo: Hate to eat and run, but we're sensing a new Wu! But don't worry, we'll be back for some stir-fried Omi!

Omi: I did not abandon my post! I am still at my post, actually I am inside my post! But that Dojo pulled his sweater over my eyes!

Raimundo: Alright, that's gotta be Omi.

Master Fung: Who let Dojo out?

[Clay, Raimundo and Kimiko all take one step aside from Omi]

Omi: [sighs shamefully in dismay] I am so ashamed. It appears Dojo is one very crafty dragon.

Master Fung: Oh, this is not good.

Raimundo: How bad is it really?

Raimundo: Maybe we should just take the Shen Gong Wu and leave.

Master Fung: It will not matter where or how far we travel… Dojo will find us.

Omi: As always, Master Fung is most wise. An honorable warrior would stay and… [Two-Headed Dojo flies over the Shen Gong Wu vault] Fight?

Kimiko: He does know how to make an entrance.

Two-Headed Dojo: I got me a powerful craving for some Shen Gong Wu. One stomach and two mouths to feed!

Master Fung: [to Omi as Two-Headed Dojo is about to eat him] Remember, Omi… The future of the world is in your hands.

Omi: NOOOO!!!!!!! [enraged at Two-Headed Dojo] You have eaten Master Fung! Now you have gone too far!

Two-Headed Dojo: [mockingly] Ooh, I'm so scared! That's a good one! [laughs teasingly as Omi steams up in irritation]

The Sands of Time [2.8]

Dojo: [Drowsily] You kids need your rest. How about we get a fresh start tomorrow? And fly around, aimlessly...looking for the Shen Gong...[sleepily]..Wu. [snoring]

Kimiko: Dojo! Don't nod off on us now! [Wakes Dojo up]

Dojo: [Disoriented] J-Just 5 more minutes, mommy! I don't wanna go to school!

Omi: This is most inconvenient. We are losing valuable time on this slow jet plane! Lazy lizard!

Dojo: I heard that!

Jack: [holding the Sands of Time] Looking for this, Xiaolin losers? Too bad! You're out of luck and out of time! Haahaaha!

Omi: It was up to me to find the Sands of Time and I failed all of you. My friends, Master Fung and the entire universe! I believe that about covers it.

Jack: I guess this would be the part where I let out my new trademark evil laugh. Hahahahahahhahahahah! Muahahahahahaha! [This continues for several seconds]

Omi: Not so fast Spicer! He who is last to be laughing laughs most loudly!

Raimundo: What Omi did to that sentence is what we're going to do to you!

Jack: [holding up the Sweet Baby Among Us Wu] It's like taking candy from a bunch of babies! [laughs hysterically]

Old Jack: Huh? Who's got the rabies?

Jack: Hurry up, old timer. We gotta get the Ruby of Ramses before it reveals itself.

[Omi, Jack, and their future selves touch the Ruby of Ramses]

Omi: Jacks, we Omis challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown Tsunami!

Old Jack: I can't find my teeth.

Omi: Our Third Arm Sash against your Monkey Staff!

Old Jack: Our Mantis Flip Coin against your Thorn of Thunderbolt! Or Thunderbolt actually.

Old Omi: First group to make it to the top of the pyramid maze wins!

Jack: Bring it on, baldies! [chuckles]

Omi: Let's go! Xiaolin Showdown Tsunami!

Jack: I've got two words for you. GYM MEMBERSHIP!

Old Jack: Wha? I...I don't recall that name. Gym membership! He owes me 5 bucks that guy.

Hear Some Evil, See Some Evil [2.9]

Clay: [as Jack uses the Mind Reader Conch; thinking] That Jack is slower than a three-legged cow in quicksand!

Jack: What!? I'm faster than any three-legged cow! [gets hit by Omi]

[Dojo puts the Mind Reader Conch up to his ear and hears the Xiaolin monks' thoughts]

Omi: [thinking] Ugh! Enough out of you.

Kimiko: [thinking] Oh, shut up!

Raimundo: [thinking] Stupid dragon.

Clay: [thinking] Put a dadgarn sock in it.

Dojo: [annoyed] Hey! I heard that!

Monks: Sorry, Dojo.

Omi: [sneaking into the Shen Gong Wu vault] As long as I am here, I will test my ability to use the Conch wisely. Ah. Mind Reader Conch. [puts it to his ear and listens to Raimundo's thoughts]

Raimundo: [thinking] I'll just tell Omi that I went out to meditate. He believes everything he's told.

Omi: People tell me all the time that I don't believe everything I'm told, and I believe them! Oh, that Raimundo!

[Kimiko uses the Mind Reader Conch to hear Clay's thoughts]

Clay: [thinking] I can't believe the way Kimiko threw a hissy fit today. She gets angrier than a cat in a hot tub of water.

Kimiko: [outraged] Angry? Me? I am not angry. I'M THE LEAST ANGRIEST PERSON I KNOW!!!

[Megan appears in front of the monks rolling in the Jack's shield]

Megan: Hi, I'm Megan.

Raimundo: Oh, there's something you don't see every day. A little girl in a hamster ball.

Megan: Are you looking for Jack Spicer and the ugly old hag? [everyone nods and she gets out of the shield] My stupid cousin Jack thinks he locked me inside that thing but I found the door.

Megan: It's time to play Megan Says. And Megan says "Scream like a sissy boy"!

Jack Spider: I don't think I know that one.

Megan: JAAAAAAACK!

[Jack screams like a sissy boy]

Dreamscape [2.10]

Jack: When hunting the elusive Wu, you have to move as quiet as a cat. [accidentally stubs his toe] OOOOWWWWWWWWW, OOOOHHH THAT HURT! [screams loudly, then covers up mouth]

Kimiko: [sleeping] Yawn.

Jack: [creeps up next to her; quietly] Shadow of Fear! [enters Kimiko's dream, causing her to start having a nightmare]

Kimiko: [grunting in her sleep] No, NO!

Master Fung: Looks like my young monks had trouble sleeping last night.

Raimundo: Actually, I had a pretty gross dream. Jack Spicer was in it.

Clay: Me too! Did he do his evil laugh?

Kimiko: Yeah, and it was so annoying.

Master Fung: Now that Jack has the Shadow of Fear, it's very possible that he has been visiting your dreams.

Kimiko: Talk about wanting to wash my brain out.

Raimundo: Everybody ready to go kick some Jack Spicer's butt?

Clay: Does it bull like that snort?

Kimiko: Yeah, I couldn't have put it better myself.

Omi: Uhh...I have some scroll to study right now.

Raimundo: What?

Dojo: [as his Shen Gong Wu senses tingles] Sorry to break up this downer fest, but I'm sensing another Shen Gong Wu! [unveils the scroll] The Crouching Cougar. An excellent ground vehicle for jungle travel will all the power and handling any young warrior could ask for.

Jack: [as the Xiaolin monks switch fears and fight while getting to the Crouching Cougar] Hey, no fair! [flips through the script] Where does it say they could switch?! I hate it when actors improvise!

Wuya: [hovers through the script] Will you just forget about them, and get the Shen Gong Wu?!

Wuya: [enraged at Jack after the Xiaolin monks win the showdown] You and your directing! Nine! We lose nine Shen Gong Wu!

Jack: Cut! Cut! I said, cut!

Master Monk Guan [2.11]

Chase Young: It will be up to you, Dojo. Your stay here can be a pleasant or an unpleasant experience.

Dojo: [Quickly] I choose pleasant, how about pleasant, pleasant would be nice.

Chase Young: I thought you might.

Wuya: Whoever possesses the Monsoon Sandals will have legs that can stretch for miles!

Dojo: You know, I can still fit into the same swimming trunks I wore 1500 years ago!

Kimiko: [giggles] You mean your old toga?

Omi: Dojo, are you alright?

Dojo: [Annoyed] I'm sitting in a pot of soup, what do you think?!

The Evil Within [2.12]

Wuya: What are you doing!?

Jack: Do you have to sneak up on me all the time?

Wuya: Would you prefer I did this?! [she flies through Jack's face]

Jack: Whatever you do, PLEASE? Don't do that.

Wuya: You're here looking for Chase Young.

Jack: Could it be that one certain disembodied floating headed is getting...jealous?

Wuya: Don't be ridiculous! [laughs] What's so special about Chase Young anyway?

Jack: He's only the world's most skill master of Tai Chi. You know that's how you get to be a best. Hanging with the best.

Sibini: [possessing Clay's body; sinister tone] It's good to be free again. And this time, nobody'll be able to stop me. [laughs sinisterly]

[Jack enters the Shen Gong Wu vault and finds Clay (under the possession of Sibini) taking it all and putting them in a sack]

Jack: Uh, I'm not here to raid your Shen Gong Wu.

Sibini/Clay: Who's stopping you? Well, Jack, if you help me find the Monarch Wings, I'll make it worth your while.

Jack: Are you asking if we can form an evil alliance?

Sibini/Clay: Put it there, baby. [gives Jack a wet willy]

Dojo: Come on, kid, we gotta burn rubber! The Monarch Wings has revealed itself.

Master Fung: Most disturbing. They have taken the Mosaic Scale. It is most unpredictable Shen Gong Wu that can be used to create mischief.

Kimiko: They didn't take it. I did. [sadly holds up the broken scale]

Master Fung: For centuries, a mischievous spirit, Sibini, was trapped inside the Mosaic Scale. When the scale was broken, that spirit was freed and took over Clay's body.

Kimiko: Oh, it's all my fault. I broke the scale and hid it in Clay's room. I never knew it would turn him evil. [puts her head in her hands in disgrace, realizing she did make a mistake]

Master Fung: [comforting her] Making a mistake is not a sign of weakness, Kimiko. It is not being able to admit it that is the true mistake.

Raimundo: What does this Sibini want?

Dojo: The Monarch Wings.

Master Fung: It is the sister Shen Gong Wu of unimaginable strength. It will reveal itself within a short time of the other. When the two join, their powers will become far greater than the two individually. If Sibini gets the Monarch Wings, he will no longer need a host. He will become invincible.

Omi: Then we must stop him at once!

Master Fung: Be cautious. The longer the Sibini spirit inhabits Clay, the stronger he becomes.

Raimundo: Hey, Omi, everything cool?

Omi: Yes, Raimundo. I believe everything is the correct temperature.

Raimundo: I can't believe something that small could put up such a big fight!

Omi: [grabbing Raimundo's shirt] What! I am not that small!

Kimiko: I think he was talking about Sibini.

Omi: Oh, yes! He is very small.

Kimiko: Sibini is going after the Monarch Wings!

Jack: The Monarch Wings are mine! [grabs them with his teeth, until Sibini jumps onto his face, screams in terror like a girl, and flees]

[Kimiko and Sibini touch the Monarch Wings at the same time]

Kimiko: Sibini, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown! I wager the Eye of Dashi against the Tangle Web Comb.

[Sibini pants, meaning that he accepts her challenge]

Omi: Does that mean he accepts?

Raimundo: I think so.

Kimiko: The contest is First to grab the Monarch Wings and make it outside the Ring of Geysers wins. Let's go!

Kimiko & Sibini: XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN!

The Deep Freeze [2.13]

Dojo: Hey, gang, got a live one incoming. It's the Shen Gong Wu called the Lunar Locket. Whoever possesses it, can control the phases of the moon.

Jack: [playing around with the Lunar Locket] Look at me! I'm the ruler of the moon. Watch! Look at it dance. Whoo-hoo! This is so awesome!

Wuya: Stop playing with the moon, Jack. It isn't a toy.

Jack: He's wrecking my lair. Do you know how hard it is to come by a decent lair these days?

Kimiko: Can't stand the heat? Then get off the mountain, tin man.

Omi: You made your bed, Spicer. Now you'll have to eat it!

Dude-Bot: Just because we are mortal enemies, does that mean we can't be friends?

Raimundo: Jake Spicer. Maybe we can warmed up by having a good ol' fashion butt kicking contest!

Jack Spicer: [nervously smiled] Hey,..guys, I..I know what you're thinking.

Kimiko: You couldn't possibly! Are you being screaming of little girl of screaming of yours!

The Emperor Scorpion Strikes Back [2.14]

[Jack has copied himself with the Ring of Nine Dragons]

Old-looking Jack: Foul!

Jack and Fat Jack: I didn't touch you!

Fat Jack: Did not... [they start fighting, old Jack also fights]

Wuya: Stop! The Ring of Nine Dragons is for creating evil, not for copying yourself for your own amusement, or picking your teeth! [While big headed Jack does so]

Kimiko: Omi, what happened?

Omi: I am afraid, uh… Mala Mala Jong has come to life.

Raimundo: I can't believe we got here too late.

Clay: Oh, man, I feel more embarrassed than a mule at the Kentucky Derby.

[Back at the Xiaolin Temple...]

Master Fung: According to the scroll, the rise of Mala Mala Jong will allow a new Shen Gong Wu to be revealed. It is called the Emperor Scorpion. Whoever possesses it will have control over all Shen Gong Wu. If we can find it, we can use it to break Mala Mala Jong apart before it turns into the Fearsome Four.

Raimundo: Excellent! Great ending and not too long. Dragged a little in the middle though.

Kimiko: Don't get too excited, Raimundo. Here comes the bad part.

Master Fung: If the Emperor Scorpion falls into the wrong hands, the Fearsome Four will be unstoppable. This will be our only chance to save the world from certain destruction.

Raimundo: Why does there always have to be a bad part?

Raimundo: The Fearsome Four sound like they could use some anger management.

Jack: Hello, Xiaolin losers! Ready to admit defeat?

Omi: Never! I will defeat you and the Fearsome Four!

Jack: [mocking Omi] "I will defeat you and the Fearsome Four." [gets in Omi's face] Dude, get over yourself!

Jack: Fearsome Four! I command you to… [thinks] laugh evilly! [they laugh] Now laugh evilly while… hopping on one leg! [they do so]

Wuya: Stop playing, Jack!

Jack: In a minute. Now, laugh evilly while… TAP DANCING! [the Fearsome Four dance and laugh as music plays in the background]

Kimiko: I can't believe how badly we messed up.

Raimundo: Now that Spicer is in control of the Fearsome Four there's no stopping him.

Clay: Yeah. It's not everyday a fella is responsible for the end of the world.

Omi: No! Stop! When Mala Mala first came together I could've called for your help. It is my fault. But I...ah choose to do it alone. I may have forgotten to mention that before.

Raimundo: It dosen't matter now...woah!

[Omi, Raimundo, Kimiko, and Clay fall off the ball and hit the ground]

Master Fung: Working together is more than just fighting together. It is knowing how to use each other's strengths wisely.

Raimundo: Hey, could somebody please translate.

Clay: Well, I reckon Master Fung is speaking of our elements.

Kimiko: In other words, we should focus on what we do best.

Dojo: Cheer up, kiddo. You'll get another chance to save the world.

[After falling on ground while trying to stop Star Hanabi]

Raimundo: Dojo, dude, how come you didn't just fly?

Dojo: [With Clay's pants on head] Good idea. Just a little late.

The Black Vipers [2.15]

Clay: [after setting Raimundo on fire] I'm sorry, Rai, I couldn't help it. I smell my favourite meal and I-

Kimiko: EVERY meal is your favourite meal, Clay!

Raimundo: I can't believe your first loyalty is to a pork chop!

[The group are tied to the ceiling upside down]

Jessie: Well it looks like our uninvited guests have decided on an extended stay in the HOSPITALITY suite.

Omi: Why, thank you! That sounds most inviting! Where do we go?

Raimundo: Omi, we're already in the hospitality suite.

Omi: Oh. I see. Perhaps I am misunderstanding the meaning of hospitality.

Kimiko: Or the meaning of sarcasm.

Omi: Oh, darn this sarcasm! It always seems to grab my goat!

Jack: Yes! I get this makes me queen!

[Everyone in the room looks at him oddly; a girl laughs]

Jack: ...King.

Omi: [sighs] This is the most disappointing event turning since the last...

Raimundo: Is it possible you're going for TURN OF EVENTS?

Omi: Very clever, using the Changing Chopsticks to shrink down our Wu and hide them in the cactus.

[Clay and Jessie rush over and touch the bag of Shen Gong Wu at the same time]

Jessie: Looks like if you want your rewards, you and me are gonna have a Xiaolin Showdown.

Clay: I accept. Your Silk Spitter against my Changing Chopsticks.

Jessie: The game is Demolition Viper Bike Derby! First to make it out in one piece wins.

Clay: Let's just get this over with. Let's go. Xiaolin Showdown!

Screams of the Siren [2.16]

Jack: I ask for knife-throwing lessons, mom sends me figure-skating. "You never know when it'll come in handy!" Now I feel kinda a bad for making a robot out of her juicer.

Dojo: That Spicer kid sure has nice form.

Clay: Whoo! Look there, a triple Salchow! [The others stare at him] What? Cowboys can't like figure-skating?

Raimundo: Come on, Omi. Just because you're built like a hockey puck doesn't mean you have to skate like one!

Jack Spicer: I'm an artiste, I communicate with my feet.

Wuya: If I had feet I'd communicate all over you.

Omi: How did she know about the vault?

Clay: Um, I may have mentioned it to her, but she said she never saw one before. But wasn't a monk there guarding it?

Kimiko: She, uh, kind of got me to convince one of the boys to hand scrub all the bathrooms.

Raimundo: She had me fill the Armadillo with sea-water. I figured it was just a rebel prank.

Omi: Now it all makes sense! Dyris wanted to know what Shen Gong Wu would have the power to create giant volcanoes to melt the polar ice caps and flood the world. [Kimiko, Raimundo, Clay, Dojo, and Klowfange glares at him] I assumed it was idol chat-chit.

Klofange: Hmm...you sure you lot are the good guys?

Kimiko: Did you get the Black Beetle?

Omi: Does it look like I got the Black Beetle?!

Raimundo: No, it looks like you lost the Gills of Hamachi.

Dyris: I can't believe you keep falling for that!

Omi: Where are the Shen Gong Wu?! [the Black Beetle emerges from the water] The Black Beetle!

[Omi and Dyris touch the Black Beetle together, starting a Xiaolin Showdown]

Dyris: [pops out of the water] Back away! It's mine!

Omi: No. It is a Xiaolin Showdown!

Dyris: I'll wager my Fist of Tebigong against your Gills of Hamachi.

Omi: The game is Steal the Wu. Whoever takes the other's Wu first wins, and we play it on dry land!

Klofange: You fool! You can't let her out of the water! When on dry land, she turns to her true monstrous form!

Omi: [baffled] How bad can she be? [turns around, seeing Dyris transformed into her true form] Oh. That bad. [sighs] Let's go. Xiaolin Showdown!

The Return of PandaBubba [2.17]

Master Fung: A new Shen Gong Wu has revealed itself somewhere in Japan. Behold, the Zing Zom-Bone. This most mysterious Shen Gong Wu has the power to render anyone into a zombie-like state.

Raimundo: Dude! I would love to have my own army of zombies!

Kimiko: Omi, look! Over there. It's the Tohomiko Electronics skyscraper!

Omi: Tohomiko? That sounds most familiar to my ears.

Kimiko: Hello? That's my last name.

Omi: Oh? I never thought of you with a last name.

Kimiko: And that's my Papa's building.

Clay: [In amazement] Your daddy is Toshiro Tohomiko, the video game tycoon?!

Kimiko: Yeah, I can't wait to introduce you all to him. He's super cool!

Raimundo: And super rich! [His eyes turn into dollar symbols. To Kimiko] Did I ever tell you that you are my favorite monk?

Omi: [gigantic sad face] I thought I was your favorite...

Omi: These workers appear most focused on their work. And their eyes- they have the same "nobody is home" look as Raimudo when he does his chores.

Raimundo: [offended] Yeah, well... you're short and you have a big head.

Omi: [picks up a U-Bot from the conveyor belt] Greetings. I am Omi, the greatest Xiaolin warrior ever!

U-Bot: Omi is the greatest Xiaolin warrior ever.

Omi: Ooh, I am most impressed with your superior robot intellect.

U-Bot: [changes into a physical appearance of Omi] And I of yours.

Omi: It is so nice to finally have a conversation with someone so intelligent.

U-Bot Omi: I could not agree with you more!

The Last Temptation of Raimundo [2.18]

[Jack is asleep]

Wuya: Jack, fire the laser! Jack!

Jack: [He wakes up, screaming] Wuya! With you it's hard to tell if I'm coming out of a nightmare or going into one!

Wuya: Just shut up and fire the laser.

Kimiko: Poor Rai. We've got to find him. Just so I can give him a piece of my mind!

Master Fung: We must not be too hard on Raimundo. It is the Shen Gong Wu that is controlling him.

Omi: Yes, but if he had not used the Golden Tiger Claws in the first place, we would not be down the lake with no paddles!

Dojo: Hey, kids! Special news bulletin! I did a little recon over Brazil and it turns out there WAS a lava flow. If it wasn't for a certain hero we all know, one village would be toast!

Kimiko: So, Raimundo was telling the truth? That's a first.

Omi: Remember, "Ugly is one skin deep". Dojo is a hideous, fire-breathing dragon, but we look past that!

Dojo: Ouch. Innocent dragon caught in the diss fest.

Jack: Um, once you become Raimundo, are you a he or a she? I just wanna get my pronouns straight!

Wuya: [possessing Raimundo's body] I'm afraid you are too late.

Kimiko: Wuya?

Wuya: In the Wu.

Jack: Hey, usually, I'm the one who messes up a Xiaolin Showdown. Looks like the shoe's on a different foot...if you had a foot. [chuckles; Wuya gets really angry, she flies through his face, creeping him out]

Omi: We will always listen to you...no matter how stupid your excuse may be.

The Year of the Green Monkey [2.19]

Monkey: Mind turning down the volume? Some of us are trying to get a little shuteye.

Omi: [using the Tongue of Saiping] In the middle of the day? You are a very lazy animal!

Rabbit: Huh, what a mouth on someone so small.

Omi: I am not small, I am compact!

Bird: Yeah, anymore "compact" and we'd need a microscope to find you!

Master Fung: [takes the Tongue of Saiping from Omi] Perhaps I should hold on to this, young monk, until you learn to get along with animals quietly.

Dojo: [appearing with the Shen Gong Wu Scroll] Drop what you're doing, boys and girls! We've got ourselves a magnitude 8.0 Shen Gong Wu alert.

Master Fung: The Fountain of Hui has just revealed itself. When activated, it provides unlimited knowledge.

Kimiko: Sounds like a pretty handy Wu if you're doing a crossword puzzle.

Master Fung: I'm afraid by itself, it can only provide random information. But, when combined with its sister Shen Gong Wu, the Eagle Scope, the two can be used to unlock the greatest secrets of the universe.

Omi: You mean like why baboons have such colorful buttocks?

Master Fung: Yes, and even greater secrets.

Chase Young: Tongue of Saiping! Monkeys of the jungle, I summon your presence!

Omi: Now I understand! Jack is only a mere puppy!

Raimundo: ...Puppet, I'm guessing.

The Demon Seed [2.20]

Vlad: I hear Wuya dump you, again.

Jack Spicer: [Imitating Vlad] "I jear Wuya dump you!" Nobody hears Wuya dump me, because I dump Wuya.

Vlad: That is not what they say on Internet!

Jack Spicer: [Excitedly] I'm on the Internet?

Vlad: Da, in warrior chat rooms everywhere! You big laughing stock! Now when person loses everything, new hip thing to say is 'Aw, I got Jacked!' [Laughs evilly]

Kimiko: It's Spicer, he took the seed!

Clay: And the hotdogs! Come back here with them doggies you no good, low down snake, you yellow bellied, dirty little side winder. I'm gonna get you!

Vlad: What you know about Heylin Seed?

Jack Spicer: I read something about it in Evil Seeds and Gardens. Why?

Raimundo: I bet he writes those on the palm of his hand. [Kimiko snickers]

Master Fung: No Raimundo, I write them inside my eyelids. That is why I blink often. [Blinks rapidly]

Dojo: [Pops out of Raimundo's shirt] B-U-S-T-E-D. Ooooohhhh! [Shudders]

Raimundo: Whoo! C'est la vie, Salad-Breath!

The New Order [2.21]

Chase Young: You have learned well, Omi.

Omi: Well, I WAS taught by the best!

Chase Young: Thank you.

Omi: I was speaking of Master Fung!

Jack Spicer: H-hey, hey! H-how'd you get all the way over here when...I...left you...over there?

The Apprentice [2.22]

[Clay climbs up the cliff and walks over to the Woozy Shooter Wu]

U-Bot Clay: Howdy, partner!

Clay: Well, if it ain't my little metal mini me!

[Omi, Kimiko and Raimundo reach the top of the cliff and encounter their U-Bot counterparts as well]

Clay: How do you manage to win every game?

Omi: That is most simple: I cheat. [they all look at him] No, no, I am a betrayer when I say I cheat.

Raimundo: How do we know that you're not betraying us now, Omi?

Omi: [seriously] Because, Raimundo, you are all my friends, and I could never betray my friends. [Laughs, knocking his head at the table] Ha ha ha, I have mastered deception! Let's play again!

Katnappé: Four monks down and one whiny geek to go.

Jack: I'M NOT WHINY!

Katnappé: Woozy Shooter!

Jack: Reversing Mirror!

Omi: I knew you would twice-cross me! So I twice-crossed you first!

Raimundo: That's double-crossed, but I think we get the idea.

Omi: Jack Spicer, truth or lie, do you seek world domination because you feel small and worthless?

Jack: Lie!

Omi: No. Truth!

Jack: My turn. Truth or lie, do you work so hard as a Xiaolin monk because you know you're an odd ball geek with a big head?

Omi: Ha! That is most ridiculous. Lie!

Jack: But you do have a big ego.

Omi: No, my ego is the right size.

Jack: You lied!

Omi: Oh, thank you, Master Fung. I promise I will not let you up.

Master Fung: Down.

Omi: In every direction.

Something Jermaine [2.23]

Jermaine: [After Jack gets the Manchurian Musca] Yo, Omi, you must be trippin'.

Omi: I am not taking a trip!

Jermaine: Your hotdogging cost us a Shen Gong Wu!

Omi: Are you saying it is BECAUSE OF ME?!

Jermaine: I'm saying, some poser may need a refresher course on how to be a Xiaolin warrior.

Omi: A refresher course!? I should be TEACHING the refresher course!

Jermaine: Man, you got an ego bigger than that dome of yours.

Omi: Nothing is bigger than my dome! And I thank you to leave my dome OUT OF IT!

Jermaine: Can you believe this guy man?

Dojo: Hey, there are three things I've learned not to talk about. Religion, politics and Omi's head.

Dojo: No winner!? What a rip-off! You wouldn't see this in the old days!

Dojo: Boys and girls, let me tell you a story about these two dragon buddies. Always seen together, like peas and carrots.

Raimundo: Is this story gonna be long or short?

Dojo: It'll take as long as it takes!

Clay and Kimiko: Long story.

Dojo: One day, they have this spot. Angry wicked words were exchanged. Words? That could never taking back. And when it was old...these two friends...would never...speak..again. [sobs] It's funny. But I know even remember what the fight was about. [pause] Oh, wait. Now I remember. Chuck wanted to borrow my yo-yo. My favorite yo-yo. The treasure family yo-yo! I politely told Chuck know. But didn't live it that. NO! He snacked to my room and too many away! And then...he lost it. LOST IT! Well, they played dumb. Never set a word. Until one night I caught a talking asleep! The only time that scoundrel couldn't tell them truth! And he's gone. GOOD RIDDANCE TO YO-YO THIEF! [spits on Clay's dinner]

Clay: Dojo, why'd you spittin' my food?

Dojo: Oh. Sorry.

Omi: I order you to spill your internal organs right now!

Jack: [screamed] What kind of sick people are you!?

Raimundo: I think he means spill your guts.

Jack: Hey, I want my stuff back.

Tubbimura: No, I will keep everything.

Jack: Think again, bubba. I press enter and doggy breath is a UFM. Unidentified flying Muffinface!

Tubbimura: No! Not my Muffinface! Ok, ok, I will return your stuff.

Dangerous Minds [2.24]

Jack: Worm-Bots, get your worm-butts back in line!

Master Fung: [As the temple collapses] Remember, the fate of the world rests with you!

Raimundo: Is it me or does the fate of the world rest with us a lot?

Jack: What do you think the spiders want with us?

Raimundo: Dude, we're in their web. Take a guess.

Jack: [Understanding] I DON'T WANT A SPIDER TO EAT ME!

Clay: Chill, evil partner! Spiders don't eat people! They desiccate you, suck out all your fluids until nothing is left. [Clay dried up and the others staring at him] What? Can't a cowboy have a hobby?

Jack: I don't want to be...what he said!

Omi: Hurry, everyone! Take my hand!

Jack: I have a better idea! I'll take the Golden Tiger Claws!

Kimiko: Jack, you jerk!

Jack: Too late, Xiaolin has-been!

Clay: Get a move on! They're gaining on us!

Dojo: I tell you. You should a seen me in action. Those spiders will think twice before messing with this dragon, again! Bada bing. [chuckles] AAAAHHHHHH!

Raimundo: [Laughs] Dojo, you should a seen yourself!

Kimiko: Rai, that wasn't very nice.

Raimundo: [scoffs] How can anyone be so afraid of a spider?

[A spider sits on Raimundo's shoulder. Raimundo screams, and hides behind baskets. Kimiko & Dojo laugh]

Dojo: What a pansy!

Omi: Tongue of Saiping! Thank you for your assistance, my small friend. [he gives a high-five on a spider]

Judging Omi [2.25]

Dojo: We got a category 5 Wu alert. The Ying Yo-Yo just revealed itself.

Master Fung: The Ying Yo-Yo is one of the lesser-known. Shen Gong Wu. It acts as a portal to the Ying-Yang World- a parallel universe with laws of its own. One must remain cautious. Its powers are not fully understood.

Kimiko: I was hoping we'd all rise together.

Omi: [Looking sad] Aw, me too. [Then looking happy] That is why I will work extra hard teaching you until that day comes when you too are ready to become Wudai Warriors.

Clay: Whoa, partner, and what makes you so sure YOU'RE the chosen one?

Omi: [Laughing] Is it not obvious? Who else is it going to be? Raimundo?

[Raimundo's head turns red and inflates while his hair starts to burn. Clay removes his hat, revealing a glass of water and he pours it on Raimundo's head. Raimundo gives Clay a thumbs-up.]

Omi: I am sorry. I was not laughing at you but with you.

Raimundo: I'm not laughing.

Kimiko: Here's a wild thought. Maybe it's me.

Omi: But you are a girl. [The others gasp] AAAAH!

[Chaos ensues, ending with Omi beaten up on the floor]

Raimundo: [Wincing] Nyah...

Kimiko: And your point?

Omi: Nothing, I like girls. [He passes out]

Omi: Jack Spicer! I order you to surrender at once!

Jack Spicer: Aw, of course I will surrender...BOBBLEHEAD!

Saving Omi [2.26]

Dojo: Very interesting... it says here that Alexander The Great had seven toes on one foot and three on the other.

Raimundo: What about Omi?

Dojo: Well, I'm pretty sure he has five on each. But I've never taken a closer look.

Dojo: It maybe be time use our secret weapon: The Sweet Baby Among Us!

Heylin Omi: If only I did not have to sleep! Then I could fight 24/7!

Omi: Kimiko, Raimundo, Clay, I was ready to humiliate you in battle, but I have no idea why.

Kimiko: It’s OK, Omi. It’s just good to have you back.

Jack: Omi, I missed you so.

Omi: OK, now I am most confused.

Dojo: Jack brought the Reversing Mirror into the Ying Yang World. Instead of coming out whole, he must have left behind all of his evil.

Chase Young: I hate to interrupt such a nauseating moment, but we have some serious evil left on the agenda.

Clay: You have got no hold on Omi. He’s got his Chi back, and you ain’t getting your grubby hands on it.

Chase Young: Omi swore his loyalty to me.

Kimiko: He wasn’t himself back then.

Raimundo: Omi is going nowhere. Except back home with us.

Chase Young (Reptile form): Heylin Memory Recall!

Omi: [In recall] I do swear my loyalty to you. [End of recall] Wait. Chase Young is right. As a Xiaolin Monk, I am bound by my word.

[Kimiko, Clay, Raimundo, and Jack gasped]

Omi: I have no choice but to stay.

Season 3

Finding Omi [3.1]

Dojo: I hate the AWAY games. The crowd's always against you.

[Wuya cheering]

Omi (Cat form): Sparrow Eating Hot Dog! [jumps off the rock]

Chase Young (Reptile form): [surprised] Sparrow Eating Hot Dog?

Omi: No! It appears you have taught me too well!

Chase Young: I think the evil inside you is stronger than you think.

Omi: The good in you may be stronger then you know.

Master Fung: That is correct. Only ONE would rise, but not until you worked together AS one.

Dojo: I don't know about you, but I think he makes this stuff up as he goes along. [laughs to himself]

Bird of Paradise [3.2]

Omi: We may be outside, but we are not down.

Raimundo: I think he means we're down but not out.

Bird of Paradise: I have given you the greatest gift of all.

Clay: Farm equipment?

The Life and Times of Hannibal Roy Bean [3.3]

[Wuya and Kimiko touch the Moby Morpher at the same time in a volcano]

Kimiko: Wuya, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown! The game is Meteor Shower. The first to reach the Moby Morpher wins!

Wuya: And to make it interesting, my Ying Yo-Yo against your Yang Yo-Yo!

Chase Young: You never mention you have the Ying Yo-Yo.

Wuya: Oh. Didn't I? Must've slipped my mind.

Omi: Kimiko, remember, if you enter the Ying-Yang World without both Wu, you will come out evil!

Dojo: And if you enter evil, you come out good. We may need a score card for this one.

Kimko & Wuya: [in unison] LET'S GO! XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN!

Dojo: Maybe I should take over. I'd like to leave the parallel universe in one piece.

Omi: Do you know how to fly the Silver Manta Ray?

Dojo: Please, I was flying before I could crawl. I'm not just a mystical dragon. I'm also a certified pilot!

Raimundo: Good enough for me! She's all yours, pappy!

Dojo: Now, let's see if we can pick up the pace a little!

[Silver Manta Ray falling and everybody screaming]

Dojo: Don't worry! I've got everything under control!

Kimiko: Maybe we should save the hugs until after we find you what's going on.

Raimundo: Clay, you know about tractors, maybe you can fix the Silver Manta Ray.

Clay: Oh, sure Rai, yeah. Tractors and mystical flying transports are like two peas from the same pod.

Omi: So it appears that it was not Jack who acted so stupid as to free Hannibal Bean, it was [realizing] ME?!

Hannibal [as Jack]: You got it sweet pea. Moby Morpher! [turns back into his real form]

Omi: Enough chat chit! Today, victory is mine, Hannibal Bean!

Kimiko: This hardly seems like a fair fight.

Hannibal: True. Perhaps I should fight with my eyes closed.

[It then cuts to Kimiko and Omi who look very ticked-off]

Hannibal [as Clay]: Uhh... what in tarnation are you doin’?

Chase Young: I’m ending what I should have ended years ago.

Omi: Nooooooooo!

All: Hyah! Unh! Hyah!

Hannibal [as Clay]: Moby Morpher! [turns back into his real form again] Nice to see you again, Chase. Hey, thanks for the assistance. Maybe one day I’ll return the favor. [Continues sinister laughter]

Clay: [Muffled] I’m afraid we got big problems, pardner.

Omi: I know. You ripped the words from inside my mouth.

Chase Young: You fools! You don’t know what you’ve done. You have unleashed the greatest evil the world has ever seen.

Raimundo: Hmmph! Sounds like end of the world time...again.

Chase Young: No. it is far worse than that.

Omi Town [3.4]

Omi: Now Dojo, you shouldn't kiss a horse on the lips before it gives you its' presents. [They all stare blankly]

Kimiko: Oh, kiss a gift horse on the mouth.

Everyone: Ohhhh.

Dojo: [Puzzled] I thought it was 'look a gift horse in the mouth'.

Dojo: Whoa! I wonder what my Great-Great-Great-Great Uncle Tiamat sent me? [he unwrapped the present] His bones. How thoughtful.

Jack: Hey! You're not supposed to be here!

Omi: Well, what comes in circles goes the other way in circles. [Everyone stares at him]

Wuya: Somebody translate! I'll be up all night.

Clay: I'm guessing "what goes around comes around.

Wuya: Oh, please. That wasn't even close.

Raimundo: Yeah, but I'm not sure, they're exactly what Omi's expecting.

Omi: MY LAST NAME IS CRUD?! OMI CRUD?!

Chase Young: Good morning, little monk. I'm not here to fight you, little monk, but to warn you.

Omi: Warn me?

Chase Young: Do you know where the other monks are?

Omi: Asleep?

Chase Young: They're in trouble and will your help.

Omi: I do not believe you.

Chase Young: Look, into the crow's eyes.

[The crow zooms in and shows Omi that Jack Spicer, Wuya and Hannibal Roy Bean are planning to raid the temple]

Omi: Why are you telling me this?

Chase Young: Just something I thought you ought to know, in case you wanted to do anything about it.

Omi: You want me to leave my parents and forfeit my honor. But I will not even they are old, fat and smelly. They need me and tonight I have to clean their teeth.

Hannibal: You're talkin' to Hannibal Roy Bean.

Raimundo: Oh, yeah! Well listen mister musical fruit I eat beans for lunch.

[Omi and Omi robot mother touch the Shen Gong Wu at the same time]

Omi: [shocked] Mother?!

Robot Mother: I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown. The game is Bamboo Hopping. First to fall, loses.

Omi: [heartbroken] My mother…on the side of evil?

Robot Mother: When you're a parent, you'll understand. I wager my Orb of Tornami against your Lasso Boa-Boa.

Omi: How'd you get my Orb?!

Robot Mother: I went through your pocket when you were clipping your father's toenails.

[Zoom in on Omi's face, feeling enraged over being turned against by his own "mother"]

Omi & Robot Mother: [in unison] Let's go! XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN!

Raimundo: She's not your mom, she's a robot!

Omi: [shocked] A ROBOT?!

[The Xiaolin monks furiously turn to Jack Spicer]

Jack: [gesturing to Wuya and Hannibal; cowering fearfully] Hey, they made me do it. [voiceover of flashback] They made build all other robots. Hannibal Bean then used the Moby Morpher to make my robots look like your relatives. If you had any. [back to the present] We figured if we could break up the dream team, we could take all your Wu.

Wuya: And it would have worked, too. [points to Omi] If you hadn't shown up.

Omi: Let us just say that a little bird told me to.

Treasure of the Blind Swordsman [3.5]

Blind Old Man: [As he's being kidnapped] Hey! Who is that? Where am I? I need to use the bathroom.

Wuya: [To Jack] What about the treasure chest?

Blind Old Man: What?! That's disgusting! [Pauses] You- you were talking to me?

Jack: [Doing a crossword puzzle] What's a four-letter word for idiot?

Wuya: Jack.

Jack: Perfect!

[Omi is stuck to a cactus]

Kimiko: Omi! Are you okay?

Omi: [cringing] I have a thousand needles in my backside! WHAT DO YOU THINK?!

Jack: [lying his head down on the ground] I'd say they can't be more than a half-day's ride ahead. [accidentally gets cactus thorns on his face and screams in pain]

Blind Swordsman: You have summoned the spirit of the Blind Swordsman, loyal to whoever possesses the treasure chest.

Raimundo: So, how about showing us how to use our new weapons?

Blind Swordsman: Open your mind and trust that your weapon will show you the way.

Omi: Shimo Staff! Ha! Oh ho! My weapon and I are most magnificent! [smooch]

Clay: Big Bang Meteorang, do your stuff! Ha! Huh? Whoo! Well, I'll be a 3-legged centipede!

Kimiko: Arrow Sparrow! [Boom] Burn, baby, burn!

Raimundo: Blade of the Nebula! Huh? Hah! Whoo! I got the power! Hoo! Hoo! I got the power!

Omi: Come, Dojo. We must rescue the blind old man at once!

[Jack, Wuya, and the Blind Old Man touch the sack of Wu at the same time]

Blind Old Man: I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown Trio!

Raimundo: Come on, let's take 'em!

Omi: No, we cannot dishonor his challenge.

Jack: Our Thorn of Thunderbolt and Silk Spitter against your Mantis Flip Coin and the Treasure of the Blind Swordsman.

Blind Old Man: The game is Emperor of the Train. Last man standing wins.

Jack, Wuya, & Blind Old Man: Let's go! Xiaolin Showdown!

Blind Old Man: Perhaps you I'd like to surrender now.

Jack: Perhaps you I'd like to keep your disses to yourself, four-eyes!

[Record scratches]

Wuya: He's blind!

Jack: Even better! Time to double-team, Mr. No-eyes! Ha ha! Jack's on an evil rant now! Thorn of Thunderbolt!

Wuya: Silk Spitter!

Blind Old Man: Mantis Flip Coin!

Raimundo: Way to kick butt! Especially when you can't see butt.

Omi: I do not understand. How can someone without sight fight so well?

Blind Old Man: [Sighs] Again with the questions. It is quite simple. I use my mind to see rather than my eyes. [loudly] DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME BEFORE?! That is the secret to the treasure chest. The answers to all your questions lie inside. You just have to look.

Raimundo: The treasure chest! We left it back on the trail!

Kimiko: Uh, you left it back on the trail!

Blind Old Man: Now, if you'll excuse me, I really must find the bathroom.

Omi The Treasure of the Blind Swordsman is gone!

Raimundo: This is all my fault for leaving it behind.

Clay: Oh, what no good hombre could have taken it?

Dojo: Hmm. I have a pretty good idea.

[At night, wolf howls]

Hannibal Bean: With the Treasure of the Blind Swordsman mine, soon, the rest of the world will follow. Raah! [laughing evilly as its magic shines forth for him]

Oil in the Family [3.6]

Kimiko: Check out the spring in my step! Wudai Mars, Fire!

Raimundo: No, the old hag won't think small like that. She'll be thinkin'...

Clay: Yeah, anyway, Raimundo. Where I come from we have a sayin' follow the oil.

Clay: Dojo, you're practically one of them critters! Have any ideas?

Dojo: [Indignantly] I BEG YOUR PARDON! That's like me saying you're practically a monkey. Just because she speaks with a British accent doesn't make her smart, like a dragon! We fly, breathe fire and chew with our mouths closed!

Omi: The jig is down! You're at the top of your rope! Spoon over that Wu! [Pauses, everyone stares at him].

Jack: Oooh, oh! I got it! The jig is up, you're at the end of your rope, fork over the Wu! [Starts dancing and brings out an evil genius ribbon]

Omi: We cannot just stand by and watch Wuya and Jack being chewed up by a big dinosaur.

Kimiko: You're right. Someone better get the camcorder.

Wuya: Jack, use your Shen Gong Wu!

Jack: Changing Chopsticks! [shrinks Wuya]

Wuya: Not me you fool!

Jack: Changing Chopsticks! [shrinks himself]

[Wuya kicks Jack in the butt and Jack uses the Changing Chopsticks, making themselves normal-sized again]

Wuya: [takes out the Rio Reverso] Rio--

[The T-Rex whacks them with its tail, sending them flying off into the ocean]

Kimiko: Arrow Sparrow! [T-Rex merely eats it and fires it back at her as she protect herself, Omi, Raimundo, Clay and Dojo; in distance] WUDAI FIRE SHIELD! [As the fire hits leaks in the oil tank, causing an explosion; The fallen Ruby of Ramses and Rio Reverso drop to two separate places, and the T-Rex runs towards the Rio Reverso] If we don't do something, we would wind up the ones extinct.

Raimundo: I got us into this but this time I got a plan. [slip and slides on the oil, swipes the Ruby of Ramses and he and the T-Rex touch the Rio Reverso together] T-Rex, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown! My Ruby of Ramses against your Changing Chopsticks.

T-Rex: Jolly good. The game is Jurassic Chess.

Raimundo & T-Rex: [in unison] Let's go! Xiaolin Showdown!

The Return Of Master Monk Guan [3.7]

Dojo: The Fancy Feet is no ordinary Wu. Whoever possesses the Wu can move faster than anything in the world. It's quiet handy when chasing an evil doer, or running away from a bully half your size.

Dojo: You're...sending...me...away!?

Master Fung: I assure you that I will be here when you get back.

Dojo: That's what my last master said when he went to for a soda and never returned!

Master Monk Guan: You will do as I say, and never, EVER ask questions. DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!?

All: YES, MASTER MONK GUAN!

Master Monk Guan: Good. Now, any questions? [Raimundo raises hand] HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND!? WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT QUESTIONS!?

Omi: What wise saying do you have for us?

Master Fung:...I have none.

Raimundo: C'mon, you can whip out one of those old cheesy sayings...[Master Fung makes an angry face]...that we all love.

Master Fung: I am afraid I am out of any 'cheesy sayings'.

Dojo: If you want I can give you your file. [Pulls out an extremely large folder of paper. Master Fung makes another angry face] Not that you would need a file like that. [hides folder with a wide grin]

Omi: This cannot be happening...Our Bobo is turning to the darkside. Again!

Raimundo: The name is Raimundo. Not Bobo!

Clay: Raimundo, what in the Sam Hill are ya doin?

Kimiko: We're your friends.

Raimundo: I got all the friends I need right here.

Hannibal: Poor little guy is like a fish outta water! [evilly laughing]

The Dream Stalker [3.8]

Omi: Solution is most simple! Raimundo must never sleep again!

Omi: During my shift, I shall keep you awake with the most ancient training method known as [hold a bucket of cold water] DODGE THE BUCKET OF ICE WATER!

Raimundo: Huh? [cold water hits his face, which get frosted with ice] WHOA!

[Omi breaks the ice off of Raimundo, who shivers]

Omi: You may need some practice, even though you will never be as good as me.

Raimundo: [yawns] Would it kill ya to get some reclining seats, Dojo.

Dojo: Please return all complaints to their full shut-up position, as we approach our final destination: Jack Spicer's lair.

Kimiko: Come on! Work it like you own it.

Raimundo: I think I'm gonna [yawns] just freestyle.

Dojo: Oooh, I got it! Trouble with a stuffed animal. Those things can get so surly.

Chucky Choo [3.9]

Dojo: The Kuzusu Atom is a most dangerous Wu. Whoever possesses it can vaporize his enemies at will. It's also pretty nifty for cleaning your room when you forget to pick up after yourself.

Master Fung: Uh, Dojo, this is Frenchy Foo. Just an old friend passing through.

Dojo: [gasps] Another dragon!?

Master Fung: Dojo, it isn't like that.

Omi: [To the Xiaolin monks] Monks, double your efforts....Raimundo...Triple yours.

Kimiko: Jack Spicer, you’re like so not getting this Wu!

Jack: "Jack Spicer, you’re so like not getting this Wu!" Wrong! Meet my new Fishbots.

Dojo: Hey, guys? I just checked the fridge. We're out of ice cream.

Omi: Dojo, there is someone I'd like you to meet.

[Dojo makes weird faces when he sees Chucky Choo]

Kimiko: Wait, you know each other?

Dojo: [shocked with fury] You no good, yo-yo thief! [tackles Chucky Choo in rage]

Omi: I guess...will be yes.

Dojo: Alright, I'll give it he's handsome. But Chucky Choo, it's more slippering...

Clay: Uh...Baby oinker in a pig-catching contest?

Dojo: Yeah! When you shake his hand you better come your fingers. I'm pretty sure how you're lost my feet. [struggling]

Kimiko: There must be some mistake!

Chucky Choo: No. No, there is...no mistake. Dojo's right in all accounts.

Dojo: Liar! Don't listen to him! Because he...[exclaims] go on.

Chucky Choo: It's true. I was once a bad dragon. Who did bad things. But the worst thing I ever did, was the lose of friendship of mind closes friend. I changed since then. And I hope one day. I'll be lucky enough earn that friendship. What do you say, Dojo?

Wuya: Dojo, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown.

Omi: But Dojo does not have any Wu!

Chucky Choo: [takes out the rulebook] It says right here, that a mystical dragon can be Wu-less in a showdown if he has no criminal record.

Dojo: Well, huh, there was the, uh, the, uh… No convictions.

Wuya: The game is Xiaolin Pinball. The first to reach one million points wins! Let's go. [in unison] Xiaolin Showdown!

Dojo: [in unison] Xiaolin Showdown!

Omi: Dojo, keep your ears on the game!

Raimundo: Omi, you gotta be doing that on purpose.

Wu Got The Power [3.10]

Dojo: The Denshi Bunny Wu is more impressive than its name suggests.

Raimundo: So, it doesn't make you a bunny?

Dojo: No. That would be just plain, silly. Whoever possesses the bunny, can turn into electricity and zap his foes.

Jack Spicer: Oh, yeah, did I mention I got the Shadow Slicer, too? [uses the Shadow Slicer to make four holograms of himself] Shadow Slicer. Shadow Slicer. Shadow Slicer. Shadow Slicer. [Omi, Kimiko, Raimundo, and Clay dive at the hologram Jacks, and hit each other's heads] Jack is on his game. Smell you later, losers! [laughing while he flies off with their Shen Gong Wu]

Jack Spicer: That's brilliant! Why didn't I think of that?

Hannibal Roy Bean: My guess, an extra chromosome.

Raimundo: Whoa! My boom box is possessed!

Omi: Well, too prove myself worthy of being your leader. I must solve of your elemental Shen Gong Wu.

Raimundo: You did what!?

Master Fung: Omi, that was most unwised. So much un-restrength power could lead to great dangers.

Hannibal Roy Bean: I hate to rain on your parade snowball, but I do not think so!

Hannibal's Revenge [3.11]

Dojo: [stuffed on cookies; thinking] I never should have got into those cookies. [belches] Oh, that hurts.

Master Fung: Kimiko, you must learn discretion. Nevertheless, sometimes the lesson is in the journey.

Omi: You are quite wise, Master Fung. [then gets annoyed by Raimundo's imitating kissing]

[Kimiko uses the Mind Reader Conch and the Eye of Dashi into her PDA to listen to the thoughts of Wuya, Chase, Jack, and Hannibal]

Wuya: [looking into the mirror; thinking] Hmm. What evil beauty! Not bad for 1500 years old

Chase: [thinking] She was so much less annoying as a disembodied floating head.

Jack: [thinking] Impenetrable bull bubble-bots. It's so simple! [laughs and pulls a lever, dropping an anvil on the bubble-bot and crushes his foot; painfully] OOF! I truly am the Evil Emperor of Darkness.

Hannibal: [thinking] Mm-mmm. There's nothing so comfy as warm bottom feathers.

Kimiko: Way too much info.

Dojo: [showing up the Shen Gong Wu Scroll; panting] Kids, big news!

Raimundo: [also showing up along with Omi and Clay] Little green dude, you couldn't have run more than six steps.

Kimiko: [looks at her PDA] According to the Conch, Dojo's sensing a new Wu: Ants In The Pants.

Raimundo: What?! Give me that scroll! The Ants In The Pants Wu releases a colony of ants that will make your opponent scratch like a…

Clay: A hound dog with front row seats at a flea circus.

Dojo: It's a blast at parties, but a pretty lame Wu in a battle, so if we don't get it, no biggie.

Kimiko: Looks like we got competition already on their way. [her PDA shows Jack Spicer and his Bubble-Bots trying to get to the Ants In The Pants Wu first]

Clay: Dojo, you think you can fly?

Dojo: [rubbing his stomach; stuffed] Sorry, but I've spent too many cookies.

Kimiko: We gotta hurry. Silver Manta Ray!

[The Xiaolin monks are watching a footage of Wuya and Hannibal attacking Chase and getting back some of their Shen Gong Wu when Hannibal found out about his weaknesses]

Kimiko: Hannibal must have hacked into my system. That's how he found out about Chase's weakness.

Master Fung: Hannibal alone is potent threat. But together with Wuya, their evil forces could mean the end of the world.

Raimundo: Where have I heard the before? Oh, yeah! "PREVIOUSLY ON XIAOLIN SHOWDOWN"!

[Master Fung and the Xiaolin monks all give a thumbs-up]

[Kimiko shows Jack a video on her laptop]

Omi: [imitating Wuya] Do not underestimate Jack Spicer. Those bubble-bots are genius.

Clay: [imitating Chase] Spicer has taken his martial arts skills to a new level.

Raimundo: [offscreen as Dojo intervenes] Dojo, get out of the shot!

Kimiko: [imitating Hannibal] He is truly evil incarnate.

Jack Spicer: Yes! It is time to make my move. Dark Prince Jack-o is back on top-o!

[Later… Dojo and the Xiaolin monks are headed for the location of the new Shen Gong Wu: The Cannon Blaster]

Dojo: The Cannon Blaster acts like a cannon…that blasts. Uh… Anyway, the holder can literally turn into a human cannonball.

Omi: Ooh! I've always wanted to turn into a human cannonball!

Raimundo: Hey, you're already halfway there.

Hannibal: I see you've brought your kittens to do your fighting.

Chase: [referring to Wuya] And I see you've brought my housekeeper to do yours.

Kimiko (disguised as Jack): I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown Trio!

Hannibal: I'll wager my Moby Morpher against your Mind Reader Conch and Chase's Serpent's Tail.

Chase: I will fight without Shen Gong Wu.

Kimiko (disguised as Jack): The game is Last To Drop Wins.

Kimiko (disguised as Jack), Hannibal & Chase: [all in unison] Let's go, Xiaolin Showdown!

Kimiko (disguised as Jack): Mind Reader Conch!

Chase: [thinking] I locked away that foolish vegetable once, I can do it again.

Hannibal: You cross the wrong bean, WHEN YOU CROSSED HANNIBAL ROY BEAN! [throws a big chunk of rock at him]

Kimiko (disguised as Jack): Mind Reader Conch!

Hannibal: [thinking] That Chase has girly hair, a real warrior shaves his head like me.

Chase: Hah! You could pour fertilizer on your head and nothing would grow! [smirking]

Hannibal: [growls] MOBY MORPHER!

Chase: [to Kimiko (disguised as Jack)] You surprised me, Spicer. I'm rarely surprised, but never fooled. [sniffs] By the way, love the perfume.

Time After Time Part 1 [3.12]

Dojo: The Mikado Arm Shen Gong Wu is a lesser known Wu that gives (you) great upper body strength.

Omi: I do not need an upper body strength, but I know someone who does.

Kimiko: [angrily gets into Omi's ear] AND WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?! [threateningly] Think carefully before you answer.

Omi: I was speaking of Jack Spicer.

Dojo: I have TENS all around!

Omi: I suppose beating Jack in the most colorful manner is the tie-breaker!

[all grin evilly at Jack as they converge on him]

Jack: No, no! You can't! WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE ARE YOU?! [screaming as they attacking on him]

Raimundo: You know, if it weren't for Chase, we'd be so much further along in our fight against evil.

Omi: I fear I have ruined the future.

Old Master Fung: Remember this young monk, the future can always be changed.

Old Raimundo: Every once in a while, the old dude still spits out words of wisdom. But mostly he just spits.

Old Raimundo: Guys, this is a test we've been waiting for. I'd say we breaking in the palace, and take back of Sands of Time.

Old Clay: Oh, we're not exactly the lame mean rotten machine we'll will once more.

Old Raimundo: First, you were never lean. And second, we're still Xiaolin warriors. We fought together once, and we can do it again. It's up to us now. The Shroud of Shadows!

Old Raimundo: Kimiko, take the Denshi Bunny and turn yourself into a electricity. Then, travel through the wires until you'll find the Wu vault where Jack keeps his Wu. I used the conch to the location.

Old Kimiko: What's that? Oh, never mind. I'll look around to see where Jack keeps this Wu. [coughs] Denshi Bunny.

Old Raimundo: Omi! Use the Sands of Time! Make sure it never happens. Go!

Dojo: Sands of Time!

[Activates the Sands of Time to taking them back 1,500 years ago]

Omi: [sobs] No.

Time After Time Part 2 [3.13]

Grandmaster Dashi: Dojo, you look different. Kinda...chunky

Dojo: Hey! That's muscle!

Omi: This is my HOME!?

Raimundo: I'd much rather fight evil than mud-wrestle some pig.

Clay: Woah there, partner. This is not "some pig". All pigs are special in their own way.

Kimiko: And what makes you so sure?

Clay: That may be but it don't mean diddly, if we can't bust our way out of here.

Raimundo: We can escape! If I drink the Lao Mang Lone Soup.

Kimiko: No, you can't! It'll turn you evil!

Raimundo: But it'll give you guys enough time to escape.

Raimundo: So, we need to stop Omi from freezing himself into the future, so he won't go into the past, where he did what he did which resulted in what happened. Simple!

Raimundo: No, I didn't come this far to lose. We will find a way to win. It's our destiny.

[Jack Spicer falls from above while screaming and lands on the four villains as Omi, Raimundo, Kimiko and Clay walk backwards]

Raimundo: The game is Rescue the Damsel in Distress. First to save the damsel wins. Let's go.

Both: Xiaolin Showdown!

Omi: Dojo, you're saved!

Dojo: Oh, sweet prince. My hero!

Kimiko: What's going on?!

Raimundo: My guess, two parallel universes running into each other in a cosmic timeline continuum power up.

[Omi, Raimundo, Kimiko, Clay and Dojo shake their bodies after they return to the temple]

Master Fung: I hope you have learned well from your quest.

Raimundo: I'm not quite sure what just happened. But I'll know, I'll never forget it.

Omi: What happened? Really happened?

Jack Spicer: [screams when he appeared behind Clay while Raimundo and Kimiko turn their heads] I wanna go home! [screams as he starts to run out of the temple while he freaks out]

[Last lines of the series]

Master Fung: As I told you, a leader would rise from the quest, and now... one has.

[Raimundo is suddenly lit up, and as he's engulfed by the light, his original red robes and his medallion soon disappear and are replaced with a black robe with a dragon on the sleeve and a red sash on him, revealing that he has become the official leader of the team]

Kimiko: Way to go, Rai! [Jumps into his arms and kisses him on the cheek]

Clay: You did it, partner!

Raimundo: [He has look of amazement, Kimiko jumps into his arms and kisses him on the cheek] I-I don't know what to say. Except I never thought it would be me...[Kimiko and Clay give him a look]...Well maybe a little.

[Raimundo then notices Omi standing behind Master Fung with a let down look on his face. However Omi comes out from behind Master Fung and sheds a few small tears... as from the moment Master Fung told Omi about the new students coming to the temple, Omi vowed to be a great leader. Omi, with tears in his eyes spreads a smile across his face. He and Raimundo bow to each other at the same time. Master Fung, Dojo, and the chosen ones smile too. Then, an explosion outside the temple occurs. Monks notice that every single villain they've encountered during the series are there with their original enemy, Jack Spicer smiling]

Master Fung: [to chosen ones, especially Raimundo who's busy removing his bandages before taking a second to survey their enemies] Now that you have risen to Shoku Warrior, your job has only begun. The survival of the world depends on you.

[With that, the team launch themselves into battle against the Heylins]

Dojo: Not too much pressure there...

[It then cuts to show Kimiko, Clay and Omi whose dots have begun to glow, running alongside each other and seconds later, Raimundo appears. As they edge closer, Raimundo then jumps into the air and prepares to launch a kick just as the screen goes black]

Omi, Kimiko, Raimundo, and Clay: HAAIIIYYA!

Cast

Tara Strong - Omi, Megan, and T-Rex

Tom Kenny - Raimundo Pedrosa, Hannibal Roy Bean, Grand Master Dashi, Vlad, Blind Old Swordsman, Evil Squirrel, and Klofange

Grey DeLisle - Kimiko Tohomiko, Evil Doll, Betie, Dyris, Singing Old Lady, and Omi's Mom

Jeff Bennett - Clay Bailey, Master Monk Guan, Mala-Mala Jong, Cyclops, Evil Granny Lily, Dude-Bot, Jessie Bailey, Toshiro Tohomiko, Gigi, Parrot, Omi's Dad, and Blind Old Man

Danny Cooksey - Jack Spicer and Good Jack

Wayne Knight - Dojo Kanojo Cho

Rene Auberjonois - Master Fung (Season 1)

Maurice LaMarche - Master Fung (Season 2 & Season 3), Tubbimura, Raksha the Snowman, Fearsome Four, and Chucky-Choo

Susan Silo - Wuya

Jason Marsden - Chase Young

Greg Baldwin - Daddy Bailey

Lee Thompson Young - Jermaine

Jennifer Hale - Katnappe

Kevin Michael Richardson - Pandabubba

External links

Wikipedia

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Xiaolin Showdown