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Coming to America

1,117 bytes added, 5 months ago
:'''Landlord''': ''[angered]'' Look, you better not be wasting my time. You got money?! ''[Semmi holds up a large clip of money; landlord becomes cheerful]'' Come on in, gentlemen.
:''[Bystanders steal royal luggage after Akeem and Semmi enter]''
:'''Landlord''': Sorry if I was brusque, but we get booboos who come in here with a dollar to their name. You boys obviously came in on another boat. ''Man tumbles down stairwell'' Hey Stew, your rent is due! Do not be giving me that falling down the stairs bullshit, you are conscious!
:'''Prince Akeem''': We seek meager accomodations.
:'''Landlord''': Beg pardon?
:'''Prince Akeem''': We require a room that is very poor.
:''[Landlord takes Semmi and Akeem to third floor]''
:'''Landlord''': All right, there is only one bathroom on this floor, so you will have to share it. ''[Gives brief tour of bathroom, which is festering with bugs]'' Got a bit of an insect problem, but you boys from Africa are used to that. Also, whatever you do, do not use the elevator; it is a death trap. ''[Approaches a door with police caution tape; landlord removes tape and opens door]'' This room is facing the wall; used to rent it to a blind man. ''[Semmi looks in disgust as a rat travels around the floor with chalk marks of a man and a dog]'' Damn shame what they did to that dog.
:'''Prince Akeem''': We will take the room!
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