Reba (TV series)
TV series(Redirected from Reba (TV Series))
- Dr. Peters: Okay, why don't we begin with the custody arrangements?
- Cheyenne: Oh, I wanna live with Dad.
- Jake: I wanna stay with Mom.
- Kyra: Is boot camp an option?
- Kyra: Barbra Jean's pregnant?!
- Jake: I thought Cheyenne was pregnant!
- Cheyenne: Shut up, Jake!
- Kyra: Back off. He's just a stupid kid.
- Jake: I'm not stupid. She left the pregnancy test in the trash can.
- Reba: Why is it we're the only family in Texas without a gun?
- Kyra: So when Daddy marries Barbra Jean, what am I supposed to call her anyway?
- Reba: You're not supposed to call her anything, when you see her at the Wal-Mart, just point to her and say, "There she is. The woman who stole my daddy."
- Brock: Reba, I have to marry her!
- Reba: Have to? The only reason you'd have to marry her is-- Oh my God!
- Cheyenne: Dad! How could you!?
- Kyra: Don't worry, Mom, I know all about birth control.
- Reba: Oh, really? And what age is it appropriate for a young lady to become sexually active?
- Kyra: 40.
- Reba: Have I mentioned you're my favorite?
- Barbra Jean: There she is, the mother of the bride.
- Reba: (crying) You were only supposed to bring the ice.
- Reba: Momma's got a dark side
- Cheyenne: Getting married is so much fun! We should have done this in our junior year!
- Reba: No, honey you were smart to wait.
The Honeymoon’s Over Or Now What [1.02]Edit
- Barbra Jean: God created women to carry babies and men to carry footballs.
- (Everyone turns and looks at Brock)
- Dr. Susan Peters: You are just precious.
- Reba: My parents gave this pillow to Brock and me for our third aniversary.
- Kyra: Well, we know it's not a magic pillow.
- Cheyenne: I need to wear something that says: "Mrs. Montgomery."
- Kyra: How about a t-shirt that says: "I'm with Stupid?"
- Reba: Nothing says eternal love like the pooka.
- Reba [to Cheyenne]: So how are you doing in here?
- Cheyenne: Good, Van fell between the beds, once when we weren't even doing anything!
- Reba: I really gotta stop asking questions...
- Van: It doesn't matter where we sleep just as long as I'm with my wife.
- Cheyenne: My husband.
- Kyra: My lunch.
- Reba [to Brock]: When you knocked up your hygienist, you lost the right to touch my muffins!
Someone’s At the Gyno With Reba [1.03]Edit
- (Jake is playing with a uterus model at the gynecologist's office)
- Brock: Jake, put down the uterus, it's not a toy.
- (After Cheyenne didn't say anything about how Van decorated the room)
- Kyra: Well, that sucked!
- Reba: Tell me about it!
- Cheyenne: (as she opens the fridge, which is full of food) There is like nothing in here!
- Cheyenne: Do you think Dad would care about what kind of bedspread is on the bed?!
- Reba: It's obvious that your father doesn't care about what's on his bed!
You Make Me Sick [1.04]Edit
- Van [to Cheyenne]: I want you to stop vomiting.
- Cheyenne: If I could control it I'd do it on you right now.
- Van: Coach said B.J. was only sick for one day and do you know why that is?
- Cheyenne: I don't know, something to do with Jesus?
- Reba: There's no teenage orgy on our lawn. There's a couple frisky squirrels but I just tell Jake they're dancing.
- Jake: Mom, singing's lame.
The Steaks Are High [1.05]Edit
- Reba (looks at her watch): It's 5:00 AM, somebody better whack me with a mallet.
- Van: See...Mrs. H, I'm "Player of the Week."
- Reba: So I heard...Ungawa
- Reba (after agreeing to Van's plea that she host the team's steak dinner): Boy he sure makes it hard to say no.
- Cheyenne (smiling suggestively): Tell me about it.
- Kyra: Mom, you hold them down and I'll whack them with the mallet!
- Cheyenne: It's Marci & Luanne. They're on the drill team.
- Kyra: Mom, you hold them down and I'll whack them with the mallet!
The Man and the Moon [1.06]Edit
Tea and Antipathy [1.07]Edit
Don't Know Much About History [1.08]Edit
Every Picture Tells a Story [1.09]Edit
When Good Credit Goes Bad [1.10]Edit
Meet the Parents [1.11]Edit
A Mid-Semester's Night Dream [1.12]Edit
Brock's Swan Song [1.13]Edit
The Story of a Divorce [1.14]Edit
You May Kick the Bride [1.15]Edit
Vanny Dearest [1.16]Edit
He's Having a Baby [1.17]Edit
She Works Hard for Their Money [1.18]Edit
Labor of Love [1.19]Edit
The King and I [1.20]Edit
Up a Treehouse Without a Paddle [1.21]Edit
It Ain't Over Until The Redhead Sings [1.22]Edit
House Rules [1.01]Edit
Skating Away [1.02]Edit
Proud Reba [1.03]Edit
Reba Works for Brock [1.04]Edit
It's Jake's Party, Cry if You Want to [1.05]Edit
Safe Dating [1.06]Edit
Mommy Nearest [1.07]Edit
Cookies for Santa [1.10]Edit
A Moment in Time [1.11]Edit
The Rings [1.12]Edit
The Vasectomy [1.13]Edit
Seeing Red [1.14]Edit
Terry Holliway [1.15]Edit
Valentine's Day [1.16]Edit
The Feud [1.17]Edit
And the Grammy Goes To... [1.18]Edit
The Wall [1.19]Edit
The Best Defense [1.20]Edit
For Sale, Cheap [1.21]Edit
The Will [1.22]Edit
Location, Location, Location [1.23]Edit
Your Place or Mine? [1.24]Edit
She's Leaving Home, Bye Bye [3.01]Edit
War and Peace [3.02]Edit
The Best and the Blondest [3.03]Edit
Spies Like Reba [3.04]Edit
Calling the Pot Brock [3.05]Edit
The Ghost and Mrs. Hart [3.07]Edit
The Cat's Meow [3.08]Edit
Regarding Henry [3.09]Edit
The Great Race [3.10]Edit
All Growed Up [3.11]Edit
The United Front [3.12]Edit
To Tell You the Truth [3.13]Edit
Brock's Mulligan [3.14]Edit
The Shirt Off My Back [3.15]Edit
Sister Act [3.16]Edit
- Reba: Did that seem weird to you?
- Barbra Jean: Yeah, why?
- Reba: Because Kyra faked being sick. She's never faked being sick before! She's faked being well just so she can go to school!
- Barbra Jean: Wow, I am so easily fooled. I wonder if those kids are really blind. You know, I think some of them are just lazy.
- Barbara Jean: It's always the bullies, or the jocks, or preps. The nerds aren't all that friendly, either!
- Reba (to Kyra, ignoring Barbra Jean): How long has this been going on?
- Barbra Jean: My whole life!
- Reba: Kyra, why would you hit someone?
- Cheyenne: It's how she shows affection!
- Kyra: Yeah, that's right. Why don't come over here for a hug?
- Brock: Kyra, when things get tough, you have to stick with them. (Reba gives him a look) WELL AT LEAST I DIDN'T HIT ANYONE!
- Reba: Kyra! What did this girl do to get you to snap?
- Kyra: SHE CALLED CHEYENNE A SLUT! She called Cheyenne a slut, so I punched her, ok?
- Cheyenne: Oh my gosh, my psycho sister loves me!
- Barbra Jean: Kyra, there are two ways you can deal with bullies: You can either hide in a bush till they forget about you, or you can buy them presents. Oh, that reminds me Reba, I picked you up something nice at the mall.
- Barbra Jean: No, you can't talk to her teacher! Otherwise, you'll be smashed into a locker with chalk up your nose and duct tape in your hair!
- Brock: Oh honey, I'm sorry. I wish I could've been there to protect you.
- Reba: Except you were 34.
- Cheyenne: So she didn't call me a slut?
- Kyra: No, she called you a slut, a loser, and a teenage baby-machine.
- Cheyenne: You could have just said yes!
- Cheyenne: It takes one to know one, except I'm not one, but if I was one, then she would have to be one too.
- Kyra: (about going shopping with Cheyenne) Mom, I have something to confess, and if you ever tell anyone, I'll deny it and I'll never tell you anything again.
- Reba: What?
- Kyra: I actually had a good time with her! (covers her mouth in surprise)
- Cheyenne: So what did you like most about talking to me?
- Kyra: All the words you mispronounced.
- Kyra (to Cheyenne): All the times you weren't hugging me. I actually like talking to you. (Cheyenne goes forward to hug Kyra) All the times you WEREN'T hugging me!
Fight or Flight [3.17]Edit
The Big Fix-Up [3.18]Edit
The Good Girl [3.19]Edit
Happy Pills [3.20]Edit
Girls' Night Out [3.21]Edit
Core Focus [3.22]Edit
The Accidental Role Model [4.01]Edit
Mother's Intuition [4.02]Edit
The Two Girl Theory [4.03]Edit
Van's Agent [4.04]Edit
Couples' Therapy [4.06]Edit
All Fore One [4.07]Edit
Hello, I Must Be Going [4.08]Edit
No Boys Upstairs [4.10]Edit
Diamond Jim Brady [4.11]Edit
Reba and the Nanny [4.12]Edit
Date of Mirth [4.13]Edit
Reba the Realtor [4.14]Edit
Flowers for Van [4.15]Edit
Who Killed Brock? [4.16]Edit
The Pageant of Grandmas [4.17]Edit
Reba's Rules of Real Estate [4.18]Edit
Driving Miss Kyra [4.19]Edit
Go Far [4.20]Edit
Help Wanted [4.21]Edit
Hello, My Name is Cheyenne [4.22]Edit
- Cheyenne: Mom, Dad... I have great news... I'm an alcoholic!
- (Everyone stares at her)
- Van: I'm having a beer.
- Brock: What's wrong, Van? Are you on the wagon?
- Van: Yes! And they shouldn't call it a wagon because wagons are fun!
- Cheyenne: You probably think this sounds really weird.
- Reba: No, baby, I don't.....I think it sounds like A DRINKING PROBLEM!
- Cheyenne: But I don't WANT a drinking problem!
- Reba: I don't want Barbra Jean living down the street from me either, but crapstorms happen!
- Cheyenne (thinks): What am I gonna do?
- Reba: The first thing you are gonna do is put the drink down..(points to the counter; Cheyenne sets down her drink)
- Reba (walks to Cheyenne): Here's the second thing. (hugs her)
- Cheyenne: I'm scared Mom, I really am.
- Reba: I know, baby.
Where There's Smoke [5.01]Edit
- Cheyenne: I do not think smoking is that bad for you... I think tobacco is a vegetable.
- Van [to Cheyenne]: Hey, can I have one of those vitamins? Give me a Wilma and a Dino. No, I had a Dino yesterday, make it a Barney.
- Cheyenne: No. Van those vitamins aren't for you.
- Van: What'd you mean they're not for....are these chick vitamins? Will I grow boobs?
- Cheyenne: No. Ok, I'm going to tell you something but you cannot repeat it. They're called Disulfiram.
- Van: You're right, I can't repeat that.
Reba and The One [5.2]Edit
As Is [5.3]Edit
And God Created Van [5.4]Edit
No Good Deed [5.5]Edit
Best Li'l Haunted House in Texas [5.6]Edit
Have Your Cake [5.7]Edit
Grannies Gone Wild [5.8]Edit
Brock's Got Stones [5.11]Edit
Parenting with Puppets [5.12]Edit
Don't Mess with Taxes [5.13]Edit
The Goodbye Guy [5.14]Edit
The Trouble with Dr. Hunky [5.15]Edit
Money Blues [5.16]Edit
Reba the Landlord [5.17]Edit
The Blonde Leading the Blind [5.18]Edit
Here We Go Again [5.19]Edit
Red Alert [5.20]Edit
Two Weddings and a Funeral [5.21]Edit
Reba's Heart [5.22]Edit
Let's Get Physical [6.01]Edit
Just Business [6.02]Edit
Trading Spaces [6.03]Edit
Roll with It [6.04]Edit
The Break-Up [6.05]Edit
Sweet Child O' Mine [6.06]Edit
Locked and Loaded [6.07]Edit
As We Forgive Those... [6.08]Edit
Bullets Over Brock [6.09]Edit
Cheyenne's Rival [6.10]Edit
- Bridget:What about all the mean stuff you wrote about me on the bathroom walls. Like Bridget's missing a digit! What does that even mean?!
- Cheyenne: Well, I don't know...but it was pretty funny in high school.
- Reba: (about Bridget) Cheyenne, you've got to let this high school stuff go! We're talking about your home, not who should've been homecoming queen!
- Cheyenne: ME!!! I WAS ROBBED!!!
She's With the Band [6.11]Edit
- Reba [to Kyra]: Well, here's how a lot of artist's parents feel. You're goin' to college, and that's that!
- Kyra: You can't make me. I'm 18.
- Reba: It is vital that we show a united front we have got to show her that we are all in one mind.
- Barbra Jean: (when Kyra walks in) Kyra, it's a trap! Follow your dreams! Run, be free!
The Housewarming [6.12]Edit
The Kids Are Alright [6.13]Edit
- Barbra Jean: Can you believe it Reba? Six years ago this family was falling apart and then I came in and put everything back together.
- Brock: Barbra Jean, that's not exactly the way I'd put it.
- Reba: Hang on Brock, Barbra Jean's right, we got through it all, because we're survivors.
- Van: Man, my shirt stinks.
- Kyra: The washer's broken, do you have your magic butter knife?
- Van: (sarcastically) Oh, Ha ha ha!
- Kyra: Once again you've won an argument with your wit.