Reba was an comedy sitcom starring Reba McEntire which ran from 2001 to 2007. The show aired on The WB for the first five years and the final season aired on the CW network.
- Dr. Peters: Okay, why don't we begin with the custody arrangements?
- Cheyenne: Oh, I wanna live with Dad.
- Jake: I wanna stay with Mom.
- Kyra: Is boot camp an option?
- Kyra: Barbra Jean's pregnant?!
- Jake: I thought Cheyenne was pregnant!
- Cheyenne: Shut up, Jake!
- Kyra: Back off. He's just a stupid kid.
- Jake: I'm not stupid. She left the pregnancy test in the trash can.
- Reba: Why is it we're the only family in Texas without a gun?
- Kyra: So when Daddy marries Barbra Jean, what am I supposed to call her anyway?
- Reba: You're not supposed to call her anything, when you see her at the Wal-Mart, just point to her and say, "There she is. The woman who stole my daddy."
- Brock: Reba, I have to marry her!
- Reba: Have to? The only reason you'd have to marry her is-- Oh my God!
- Cheyenne: Dad! How could you!?
- Kyra: Don't worry, Mom, I know all about birth control.
- Reba: Oh, really? And what age is it appropriate for a young lady to become sexually active?
- Kyra: 40.
- Reba: Have I mentioned you're my favorite?
- Barbra Jean: There she is, the mother of the bride.
- Reba: (crying) You were only supposed to bring the ice.
- Reba: Momma's got a dark side
- Cheyenne: Getting married is so much fun! We should have done this in our junior year!
- Reba: No, honey you were smart to wait.
The Honeymoon’s Over Or Now What [1.02]Edit
- Barbra Jean: God created women to carry babies and men to carry footballs.
- (Everyone turns and looks at Brock)
- Dr. Susan Peters: You are just precious.
- Reba: My parents gave this pillow to Brock and me for our third aniversary.
- Kyra: Well, we know it's not a magic pillow.
- Cheyenne: I need to wear something that says: "Mrs. Montgomery."
- Kyra: How about a t-shirt that says: "I'm with Stupid?"
- Reba: Nothing says eternal love like the pooka.
- Reba [to Cheyenne]: So how are you doing in here?
- Cheyenne: Good, Van fell between the beds, once when we weren't even doing anything!
- Reba: I really gotta stop asking questions...
- Van: It doesn't matter where we sleep just as long as I'm with my wife.
- Cheyenne: My husband.
- Kyra: My lunch.
- Reba [to Brock]: When you knocked up your hygienist, you lost the right to touch my muffins!
Someone’s At the Gyno With Reba [1.03]Edit
- (Jake is playing with a uterus model at the gynecologist's office)
- Brock: Jake, put down the uterus, it's not a toy.
- (After Cheyenne didn't say anything about how Van decorated the room)
- Kyra: Well, that sucked!
- Reba: Tell me about it!
- Cheyenne: (as she opens the fridge, which is full of food) There is like nothing in here!
- Cheyenne: Do you think Dad would care about what kind of bedspread is on the bed?!
- Reba: It's obvious that your father doesn't care about what's on his bed!
You Make Me Sick [1.04]Edit
- Van [to Cheyenne]: I want you to stop vomiting.
- Cheyenne: If I could control it I'd do it on you right now.
- Van: Coach said B.J. was only sick for one day and do you know why that is?
- Cheyenne: I don't know, something to do with Jesus?
- Reba: There's no teenage orgy on our lawn. There's a couple frisky squirrels but I just tell Jake they're dancing.
- Jake: Mom, singing's lame.
The Steaks Are High [1.05]Edit
- Reba (looks at her watch): It's 5:00 AM, somebody better whack me with a mallet.
- Van: See...Mrs. H, I'm "Player of the Week."
- Reba: So I heard...Ungawa
- Reba (after agreeing to Van's plea that she host the team's steak dinner): Boy he sure makes it hard to say no.
- Cheyenne (smiling suggestively): Tell me about it.
- Kyra: Mom, you hold them down and I'll whack them with the mallet!
- Cheyenne: It's Marci & Luanne. They're on the drill team.
- Kyra: Mom, you hold them down and I'll whack them with the mallet!
The Man and the Moon [1.06]Edit
Tea and Antipathy [1.07]Edit
Don't Know Much About History [1.08]Edit
Every Picture Tells a Story [1.09]Edit
When Good Credit Goes Bad [1.10]Edit
Meet the Parents [1.11]Edit
A Mid-Semester's Night Dream [1.12]Edit
Brock's Swan Song [1.13]Edit
The Story of a Divorce [1.14]Edit
You May Kick the Bride [1.15]Edit
Vanny Dearest [1.16]Edit
He's Having a Baby [1.17]Edit
She Works Hard for Their Money [1.18]Edit
Labor of Love [1.19]Edit
The King and I [1.20]Edit
Up a Treehouse Without a Paddle [1.21]Edit
It Ain't Over Until The Redhead Sings [1.22]Edit
House Rules [1.01]Edit
Skating Away [1.02]Edit
Proud Reba [1.03]Edit
Reba Works for Brock [1.04]Edit
It's Jake's Party, Cry if You Want to [1.05]Edit
Safe Dating [1.06]Edit
Mommy Nearest [1.07]Edit
Cookies for Santa [1.10]Edit
A Moment in Time [1.11]Edit
The Rings [1.12]Edit
The Vasectomy [1.13]Edit
Seeing Red [1.14]Edit
Terry Holliway [1.15]Edit
Valentine's Day [1.16]Edit
The Feud [1.17]Edit
And the Grammy Goes To... [1.18]Edit
The Wall [1.19]Edit
The Best Defense [1.20]Edit
For Sale, Cheap [1.21]Edit
The Will [1.22]Edit
Location, Location, Location [1.23]Edit
Your Place or Mine? [1.24]Edit
She's Leaving Home, Bye Bye [3.01]Edit
War and Peace [3.02]Edit
The Best and the Blondest [3.03]Edit
Spies Like Reba [3.04]Edit
Calling the Pot Brock [3.05]Edit
The Ghost and Mrs. Hart [3.07]Edit
The Cat's Meow [3.08]Edit
Regarding Henry [3.09]Edit
The Great Race [3.10]Edit
All Growed Up [3.11]Edit
The United Front [3.12]Edit
To Tell You the Truth [3.13]Edit
Brock's Mulligan [3.14]Edit
The Shirt Off My Back [3.15]Edit
Sister Act [3.16]Edit
- Reba: Did that seem weird to you?
- Barbra Jean: Yeah, why?
- Reba: Because Kyra faked being sick. She's never faked being sick before! She's faked being well just so she can go to school!
- Barbra Jean: Wow, I am so easily fooled. I wonder if those kids are really blind. You know, I think some of them are just lazy.
- Barbara Jean: It's always the bullies, or the jocks, or preps. The nerds aren't all that friendly, either!
- Reba (to Kyra, ignoring Barbra Jean): How long has this been going on?
- Barbra Jean: My whole life!
- Reba: Kyra, why would you hit someone?
- Cheyenne: It's how she shows affection!
- Kyra: Yeah, that's right. Why don't come over here for a hug?
- Brock: Kyra, when things get tough, you have to stick with them. (Reba gives him a look) WELL AT LEAST I DIDN'T HIT ANYONE!
- Reba: Kyra! What did this girl do to get you to snap?
- Kyra: SHE CALLED CHEYENNE A SLUT! She called Cheyenne a slut, so I punched her, ok?
- Cheyenne: Oh my gosh, my psycho sister loves me!
- Barbra Jean: Kyra, there are two ways you can deal with bullies: You can either hide in a bush till they forget about you, or you can buy them presents. Oh, that reminds me Reba, I picked you up something nice at the mall.
- Barbra Jean: No, you can't talk to her teacher! Otherwise, you'll be smashed into a locker with chalk up your nose and duct tape in your hair!
- Brock: Oh honey, I'm sorry. I wish I could've been there to protect you.
- Reba: Except you were 34.
- Cheyenne: So she didn't call me a slut?
- Kyra: No, she called you a slut, a loser, and a teenage baby-machine.
- Cheyenne: You could have just said yes!
- Cheyenne: It takes one to know one, except I'm not one, but if I was one, then she would have to be one too.
- Kyra: (about going shopping with Cheyenne) Mom, I have something to confess, and if you ever tell anyone, I'll deny it and I'll never tell you anything again.
- Reba: What?
- Kyra: I actually had a good time with her! (covers her mouth in surprise)
- Cheyenne: So what did you like most about talking to me?
- Kyra: All the words you mispronounced.
- Kyra (to Cheyenne): All the times you weren't hugging me. I actually like talking to you. (Cheyenne goes forward to hug Kyra) All the times you WEREN'T hugging me!
Fight or Flight [3.17]Edit
The Big Fix-Up [3.18]Edit
The Good Girl [3.19]Edit
Happy Pills [3.20]Edit
Girls' Night Out [3.21]Edit
Core Focus [3.22]Edit
The Accidental Role Model [4.01]Edit
Mother's Intuition [4.02]Edit
The Two Girl Theory [4.03]Edit
Van's Agent [4.04]Edit
Couples' Therapy [4.06]Edit
All Fore One [4.07]Edit
Hello, I Must Be Going [4.08]Edit
No Boys Upstairs [4.10]Edit
Diamond Jim Brady [4.11]Edit
Reba and the Nanny [4.12]Edit
Date of Mirth [4.13]Edit
Reba the Realtor [4.14]Edit
Flowers for Van [4.15]Edit
Who Killed Brock? [4.16]Edit
The Pageant of Grandmas [4.17]Edit
Reba's Rules of Real Estate [4.18]Edit
Driving Miss Kyra [4.19]Edit
Go Far [4.20]Edit
Help Wanted [4.21]Edit
Hello, My Name is Cheyenne [4.22]Edit
- Cheyenne: Mom, Dad... I have great news... I'm an alcoholic!
- (Everyone stares at her)
- Van: I'm having a beer.
- Brock: What's wrong, Van? Are you on the wagon?
- Van: Yes! And they shouldn't call it a wagon because wagons are fun!
- Cheyenne: You probably think this sounds really weird.
- Reba: No, baby, I don't.....I think it sounds like A DRINKING PROBLEM!
- Cheyenne: But I don't WANT a drinking problem!
- Reba: I don't want Barbra Jean living down the street from me either, but crapstorms happen!
- Cheyenne (thinks): What am I gonna do?
- Reba: The first thing you are gonna do is put the drink down..(points to the counter; Cheyenne sets down her drink)
- Reba (walks to Cheyenne): Here's the second thing. (hugs her)
- Cheyenne: I'm scared Mom, I really am.
- Reba: I know, baby.
Where There's Smoke [5.01]Edit
- Cheyenne: I do not think smoking is that bad for you... I think tobacco is a vegetable.
- Van [to Cheyenne]: Hey, can I have one of those vitamins? Give me a Wilma and a Dino. No, I had a Dino yesterday, make it a Barney.
- Cheyenne: No. Van those vitamins aren't for you.
- Van: What'd you mean they're not for....are these chick vitamins? Will I grow boobs?
- Cheyenne: No. Ok, I'm going to tell you something but you cannot repeat it. They're called Disulfiram.
- Van: You're right, I can't repeat that.
Reba and The One [5.2]Edit
As Is [5.3]Edit
And God Created Van [5.4]Edit
No Good Deed [5.5]Edit
Best Li'l Haunted House in Texas [5.6]Edit
Have Your Cake [5.7]Edit
Grannies Gone Wild [5.8]Edit
Brock's Got Stones [5.11]Edit
Parenting with Puppets [5.12]Edit
Don't Mess with Taxes [5.13]Edit
The Goodbye Guy [5.14]Edit
The Trouble with Dr. Hunky [5.15]Edit
Money Blues [5.16]Edit
Reba the Landlord [5.17]Edit
The Blonde Leading the Blind [5.18]Edit
Here We Go Again [5.19]Edit
Red Alert [5.20]Edit
Two Weddings and a Funeral [5.21]Edit
Reba's Heart [5.22]Edit
Let's Get Physical [6.01]Edit
Just Business [6.02]Edit
Trading Spaces [6.03]Edit
Roll with It [6.04]Edit
The Break-Up [6.05]Edit
Sweet Child O' Mine [6.06]Edit
Locked and Loaded [6.07]Edit
As We Forgive Those... [6.08]Edit
Bullets Over Brock [6.09]Edit
Cheyenne's Rival [6.10]Edit
- Bridget:What about all the mean stuff you wrote about me on the bathroom walls. Like Bridget's missing a digit! What does that even mean?!
- Cheyenne: Well, I don't know...but it was pretty funny in high school.
- Reba: (about Bridget) Cheyenne, you've got to let this high school stuff go! We're talking about your home, not who should've been homecoming queen!
- Cheyenne: ME!!! I WAS ROBBED!!!
She's With the Band [6.11]Edit
- Reba [to Kyra]: Well, here's how a lot of artist's parents feel. You're goin' to college, and that's that!
- Kyra: You can't make me. I'm 18.
- Reba: It is vital that we show a united front we have got to show her that we are all in one mind.
- Barbra Jean: (when Kyra walks in) Kyra, it's a trap! Follow your dreams! Run, be free!
The Housewarming [6.12]Edit
The Kids Are Alright [6.13]Edit
- Barbra Jean: Can you believe it Reba? Six years ago this family was falling apart and then I came in and put everything back together.
- Brock: Barbra Jean, that's not exactly the way I'd put it.
- Reba: Hang on Brock, Barbra Jean's right, we got through it all, because we're survivors.
- Van: Man, my shirt stinks.
- Kyra: The washer's broken, do you have your magic butter knife?
- Van: (sarcastically) Oh, Ha ha ha!
- Kyra: Once again you've won an argument with your wit.