J. R. "Bob" Dobbs

legendary founder of the Church of the Subgenius
(Redirected from JR. Bob Dobbs)

J. R. "Bob" Dobbs is the figurehead of the Church of the SubGenius. His image is derived from a piece of 1950s clip-art.

I am the global village idiot!

The Book of the SubGenius edit

 
Eternal Salvation — Or TRIPLE your money back!
  • Everyone here is stupid.
  • The SubGenius must have Slack.
  • Act like a dumbshit and they'll treat you like an equal.
  • Don't just eat that hamburger, eat the HELL out of it!
  • Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.
  • Just because some jackass is an atheist doesn't mean that his prophets and gods are any less false.
  • Pull the wool over your own eyes.
  • Relax in the safety of your own delusions.
  • They may be Pink, but their money's still green!
  • This "Church of the SubGenius" is the best scam I ever pulled.
  • You'll PAY to know what you really think.
  • You know how dumb the average person is? Well, by definition, half of 'em are even dumber than THAT.
  • "Too much" is always better than not enough.
  • I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to.
  • Give me (Slack, food, money, a job, etc.), or KILL ME!
  • Eternal Salvation — Or TRIPLE your money back!
  • Do What Keepeth Thou from Wilting Shall Be the Loophole of The Law.
  • I'd rather be lucky than good any day.
  • I always lie . . . and I'm always right.

Revelation X: The "Bob" Apocryphon edit

  • There are two kinds of people in the world: those who say, "There are two kinds of people in the world: those who say there are two kinds of people in the world, and the other kind," and there's who don't say. Well, then there's me.
  • If you have no Pipe I will give you one; if you do not, I will take it away from you.
  • [on capital punishment] Forgive them first... then kill them.
  • [when asked if he was interested in discovering what was behind the Veil of Illusion] HELL no! I'm interested in what's behind the veil of ORDINARY REALITY.
  • Pull off your pants and roll in your own mistakes.
  • In My Father's Midway Are Many Bumper Car Rides.
  • I choose to believe in an afterlife only because it is too horrible to believe that such a cool stud as myself could be allowed to disappear from the universe. [Diary entry, age 15]
  • There IS no God — but if you're any kind of real American, you'll demand that He treat you as an EQUAL.
  • I am the global village idiot!
  • If humor is based on the misfortune of others, then I suppose you might call me the greatest comedian of all time.
  • Don't forgive them, for they know exactly what they do.
  • The stupider it looks, the more important it probably is.

External links edit

 
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