How Clean is Your House? is a British entertainment/lifestyle television programme in which expert cleaners Kim Woodburn and Aggie MacKenzie visit filthy homes and then clean them.
- Kim-Oh the dirty Beggar!
- Aggie-I don't know the point of having a bath is?
- Kim-Years of scum, skin, saliva, mucus!
- Narrator(UK)- That must be a distant memory!
- Kim-Flaming Nora!
- Narrator(UK)-A year ago Kim and Aggie took fright at the bird lady.
- Aggie-The smell!
- Aggie-What is that smell is like a farmyard!
- Kim-Looks like a hellhole!
- Aggie-It's the rubbish tip!
- (Note)-"rubbish tip" means "garbage dump"
- Kim-The place stinks!
- Narrator(UK)-Kim's ready to ruffle her feathers.
- Narrator(USA)- This bedroom is rated X, Extremely Nasty!
- Kim-This carpet's bright!
- Kim-What a lovely dishcloth!
- Kim-Why can't I get it with me nails?
- Aggie-Look at the cooker!
- Aggie-There's mouse droppings in the cutlery drawer!
- Narrator(USA)-It's not just the snitch of the stable that Kim and Aggie are about to encounter!
- Kim-Oh, in the name of heaven!
- Kim-It smells like pee-pee.
- Aggie-What is that?
- Kim-PONG!
- Kim-What is wrong with this man?
- Aggie-Look, the week's dishes!
- Aggie-Lordy, Lordy look at this!
- Narrator(UK)-Nothing is Sacred!
- Aggie-There's no life in it.
- Aggie-Look,at the Bacon!
- Aggie-How could you sit in that seat and eat your dinner?
- Aggie-Cup of tea anyone?
- Kim-What lungs, What lungs?
- Kim-No time for cleaning, but there's anytime for reading!
- Kim-It's in inch, thick!
- Aggie-Two German cockroaches.
- Kim-French perfume,French perfume please!
- Kim-This is absolutely vile.
- Aggie-Black mould in the bedroom? Are they mad?
- Kim-Look it all down here, Ag!
- Kim-It's an utter hovel!
- Aggie-Dear me, girl!
- Aggie-It's absolutely squalid in here!
- Kim-We're standing in a giant plamy birdcage!
- Narrator(UK)-Screaming, already?
- Kim-God help us!
- Kim-How could you not pretend this isn't happening?
- Aggie-This isn't bad at all!
- Aggie-Kim, overkill surely?
- Kim-I think he's peeing in the sink!
- Aggie-That is wild!
- Kim-What it she brews up while she's on the loo?
- Narrator(UK)-Well, There's no fresh air to be found here!
- Aggie-Is this a shopping trolley?
- Kim-It's awful!
- Kim-Look, flies! Hundreds of little beggars!
- Aggie-Time is just too still in this place.
- Aggie-Bloody Hell!
- Kim-Best be having you rapple those mops.
- Narrator-Birds and cleaning chemicals just don't mix.(UK)
- Aggie-Look at the flaming phone!
- Kim-Mouldy Lights!That's the colour it should be!
- Aggie-Lovely Doggie, I think this is the source of our smell.
- Aggie-How is this driving you crazy?
- Kim-She's a comic cut,isn't she?
- Narrator(UK)-It's a brave who takes the walk of shame.
- Aggie-Time to get cleaning I think!
- (Note) Kim's reactions are not recorded in this page.
