Entourage (season 6)

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Entourage is an original comedy series on HBO that chronicles the rise of a hot young movie star named Vincent Chase and his childhood friends from Queens as they navigate the unfamiliar terrain of Hollywood. Vince's entourage consists of: Eric, his closest friend, who acts as his manager; Johnny "Drama" Chase, his older brother, an avid cook and a struggling actor in his own right; and Turtle, who is simply living the high life riding Vince's coattails and serving as chauffeur.

Drive [6.01]

[Lloyd confronts Ari a second time over his promotion prospects.]

Lloyd Lee: Do you have any plan to promote me?

Ari Gold: I haven't even thought about it.

Lloyd: Well you need to.

Ari: Lloyd...

Lloyd: [louder] Ari, promote me, or I'm leaving you!

Ari: Leaving me? [laughs] Where would you go?

Lloyd: To another agency.

Ari: Another agency? Lloyd, you have to start all over again. You know that.

Lloyd: Well, I'll go work for my father.

Ari: What, in the dry cleaners?

Lloyd: My father has a winery in Napa.

Ari: I don't think sodomy is legal in Napa, Lloyd. [laughs with Andrew Klein]

Lloyd: [after short pause] Every time I have broached this subject over the years, you have responded with some wise-ass comment. The time has come, I want to know if this is gonna happen. I want to know when, and I want to know today-

Ari: [stands up during Lloyd's speech] I WILL NOT BE STRONG-ARMED, LLOYD!

Lloyd: You just were, Ari Gold! [walks back to station]

Andrew Klein: Tough queer.

[Vince is optimistic about his prospects of an award over Gatsby]

Vince: I'd just be happy to avoid a Razzie.

Drama: There's nothing wrong with a Razzie.

Turtle: Johnny's gonna go for the hat-trick if he ever does another movie.

Drama: I only have one Razzie, asshole.

Amongst Friends [6.02]

[Ari tries to sell Andrew Klein about the potential of Mrs Ari hanging out with Marlo Klein]

Ari: My wife will love her, trust me. And when we're together after this, we don't have to speak to them and we get to keep all our money.

[At the Gatsby premiere, Sloan is not happy that Ashley butted into her conversation with E]

Sloan: [to E] Who's the girl with the bad attitude?

One Car, Two Car, Blue Car, Red Car [6.03]

[Turtle comes to Ari, seeking help for a business idea, but Ari gives him a hard lesson in business administration with a little help from Lloyd]

Ari: What do you need, office space, insurance, how many employees? What do you project to earn, what do you need to break even, at what point can your investors see some profit?!

Turtle: I don't know!

Ari: [ushers Turtle to seat] Look. When my son was born, my greatest fear was having this conversation. I knew that I would give him anything he wanted 'cause he was my son. I couldn't say No, which sucks, because it wouldn't help him and he'd just end up on the street doing heroin with the two Coreys, because I was too much of a pussy to teach him a lesson. I won't make that mistake with you. Just say No.

Turtle: I could pull this off, Ari.

Ari: Come back to me when you could prove it.

[E wants to stop the recasting of Charlie after he scores poorly on his pilot and seeks Ari's help]

Ari: What I'm capable of doing and what you're capable of doing are two totally different things.

E: So what would you do?

Ari: I would make a scene of Biblical proportions. I would lie, scream, beg, borrow, and steal. If that somehow didn't part Amy Miller's legs then I would call racism and I would yell for all to hear: "You're really gonna fire my poor black client off the show he CREATED? I'm calling the NAACP, the Rev Al Sharpton, and the ghost of my man, Malcolm X!"

E: Awesome. Guess I'm gonna try my own thing.

Running on E [6.04]

[Ari has just talked to Lizzie over her affair with Andrew Klein]

Ari: Lloyd, come in here. [Lloyd enters office]

Lloyd: Yes, Mr Gold?

Ari: I want you to keep an eye on Andrew Klein.

Lloyd: Keep my eyes on him, how?

Ari: Pretend he's Zac Efron's ballsack.... and find me if you spot anything strange.

[Turtle is curious about Jamie-Lynn Sigler being tapped for a Five Towns story arc with Drama]

Turtle: How many kisses?

Drama: Like, four...and a sex scene, but it's network, so it's not gonna be too graphic.

Turtle: There's a sex scene now!?

Fore! [6.05]

[E discovers that Sloan had a hand in Murray Berenson offering him a job after shutting down the Murphy Group]

Sloan: What is the problem?

E: The problem is, you treat me like some kind of social experiment.

Sloan: What do you mean? [both look at inbound golf cart and step out of the way for a moment]

E: Well, first you find me a place to live and then you're trying to get your godfather to hire me?

Sloan: These are bad things?

E: Yeah, but why are you doing it?

Sloan: Because I care about you.

E: I thought you didn't want to be friends.

Sloan: I said I couldn't be friends right now and that's because I cared too much.

E: So what? You want to see me turn into the man you want to be, then you'll consider talking to me?

Sloan: Eric, I have no idea what you're being so hostile about.

E: How hostile? Because while you may just think I'm Vince's bitch, I've done pretty okay for myself. I don't need you out there begging people to offer me things.

Sloan: I didn't beg anybody. I told someone about you and I thought you guys might make a good match. [steps out of way again for golf cart] Apparently, he agrees and he's not some schmuck who hands out jobs because I tell him to - and I don't think of you as Vince's bitch, for crying out loud, but clearly, you do.

E: Well, maybe you don't know me so well.

Turtle: [To Tom Brady] Do you picture yourself in a Giants jersey? That blue matches your eyes. [Brady is surprised]

Ari: [joins gang] How's your day, boys?

Turtle: We're having dinner at Tom Brady's house.

Ari: [to Brady about Turtle] You know he's not a Make-A-Wish kid right? [gang laughs]

Murphy's Lie [6.06]

[At a break in the Five Towns shoot, E reveals to the gang something about him and Ashley]

Drama: You called Ashley "Sloan" and you weren't even mid-fuck??

Turtle: Ugh, it's the worst! That's why I always stick with "Yeah, baby!"

Drama: Whose name would you accidentally call out, Vince's? [Turtle flips him off]

Vince: So how did you cover?

E: I told her she was hearing things.

Vince: Jesus.

Drama: Bet she took that well.

E: Yeah, she left.

Turtle: Who wouldn't?

Vince: Why didn't you chase after?

Turtle: 'Cause he loves Sloan!

[Ari has just reprimanded Lizzie Grant and Andrew Klein over their affair]

Lizzie Grant: I'd like to go back to my desk now. I'd like to do my job.

Ari: Go! [Lizzie leaves] You so much as eye-fuck another agent in this building, I will deport you naked to the Taliban.

No More Drama [6.07]

[At E's first staff meeting at Murray Berenson, a number of female employees come into the conference room carrying several boxes of large-size pizzas]

Female Employee: These just came at the front desk for you.

E: I didn't order any pizza.

Female Employee: Ari Gold sent them. The delivery boy said "Good luck. You're no longer a pizza boy, you're now [offers boxes] a pizza man." [employees at table laugh]

[Drama tries to head to the studio with a gift and an apology for attempting to attack studio boss Dan Coakley, whom he claims had sex with Jamie-Lynn Sigler, but Lawrence the guard stops him]

Drama: Wanna roll up this gate?

Lawrence: 'Fraid I can't do that.

Drama: Why not?

Lawrence: You're on the list.

Drama: What list?

Lawrence: The "Banned from the Lot" list. That's why your picture's right there. [shows folder with a list and pictures of people]

Drama: Well, my picture's right there! [points to Five Towns ad] How do you explain that?

Lawrence: Can't, but the message came from Dan Coakley himself, so I'm assuming whatever you did, looks real bad.

The Sorkin Notes [6.08]

[Aaron Sorkin and Ari Gold visit Andrew Klein in jail]

Andrew Klein: Act as if you have faith, and fate shall be given to you.

Ari Gold: This is pathetic.

Aaron Sorkin: He's quoting me. It's The West Wing, the assassination episode.

Klein: I had more of your quotes. I had a lot of ideas, amazing, brilliant ideas, but I couldn't get into my house. My wife wouldn't let me get them and I blew that chance. I blew my marriage and if I blew this with you, I'd blow my career too.

Ari: I'm sorry, Aaron-[Sorkin gestures him to let Andrew speak]

Klein: I drove into my own house for you Aaron. My own, uninsured, overpriced Beverly Hills motherfucking home. I took my car, and I put it into gear, and I drove it [cracking voice] right into my own goddamn living room...for you. Who else would do that? [cries]

Sorkin: [taps screen] I had a rough divorce too. I get it. [pause] We'll give it a shot.

Klein: Really?

Sorkin: Yeah, but if he [points to Ari] ever calls me, I'm gone. [hangs up and leaves]

[E's preparing to have a midday drink with Sloan, but suddenly remembers Ashley]

E: You know what, Sloan? I don't feel like drinking.

Sloan: What do you feel like doing?

E: I think I should go.

Sloan: Where?

E: [to valet] Hey, buddy, will you hold that car up, please? You know, this was a bad idea. I gotta go. I'm sorry.

Sloan: E, what the fuck?!

E: Well, what's the point to this?

Sloan: The point to what?

E: This! First you want to be friends, then you don't want to be friends, now you want friendly cocktails. You don't know what you want and I don't want to fuck it up with a girl that I kinda like.

Sloan: I'm sorry about that, man.

E: Sorry.

Sloan: E! E! I am doing the best I can. I do miss you, but I just need time.

E: You've had plenty of time, all right? And in that time, I've found someone else. I don't want to mess it up while you're trying to figure out what you want.

Sloan: Is it that girl? The young one from the premiere?

E: She's 24. Yeah.

Sloan: So that's it?

E: Yeah, I guess it is. [drives away]

Security Briefs [6.09]

[Drama appears in the kitchen to see Turtle and Vince incensed over Aaron Cohen's bodyguards being too noisy. Turtle notices Drama's disfigured face]

Turtle: What's with the face? [Vince is surprised]

Drama: They surprised me with a new scene when I got to the set last night. Battery acid sprays out of my car engine. Four hours of makeup...[voice slows to bitter murmur] for one line, compliments of Dan Coakley.

Vince: Why don't you take it off?

Drama: I gotta shoot again tonight. I can't bear another session in my makeup chair. [Splits bagel with bagel slicer he just bought]

Turtle: Now you got two bad sides.

Drama: [agitated] Don't start with me Turtle, I am exhausted! [slaps hand hard on bagel slicer]

Turtle: Oh you are? We got the Israeli Army waking us up all night, you can go home!

Drama: Baby bro is hungry, and you can go to Jamie's.

[Ari has a three-way teleconference with Adam Davies and a very pissed-off Zac Efron]

Zac Efron: You still there, Adam?

Adam Davies: Yup.

Efron: Good. You're fired. I'm with Ari now.

Ari: Good Yontiff! [claps hands and breaks off link to Davies] Beautiful work, Zac, beautiful. You are now my new favorite client. I cannot wait to get you a producer credit on College Musical.

Efron: That's hilarious, Ari. How about a signing present? Something with four wheels and leather seats?

Berried Alive [6.10]

[Ari is livid that Lloyd resigned and now works for Adam Davies at TMA]

Lloyd: I'm sorry you feel that way, Ari.

Ari Gold: [over the phone] You're sorry, Lloyd?!?! You have NO IDEA how sorry you're going to be. I am going to destroy you, I am going to ERRODE every fiber of your spirit. You no longer exist, you are dead to me, and the town will know that anyone meeting with you, speaking with you, or even NODDING to you on the street will be dead as well. So die, Lloyd. Die, die, DIE! And when you're gagging on Davies' balls, I want you to bite down so he can die too!

[At a restaurant, E has told Ashley that he's breaking up with her. A phone call to him is driving her nuts]

Ashley: [to E, who's preparing to leave] You know you are really a piece-of-shit liar. You love fucking with me, don't you? You just said this morning that you want to be exclusive so you could use me and pull this shit now. I can't believe I fell for your nice guy act. You are real sick.

E: Well, I'm sorry you feel that way.

Ashley: And I'm sorry you're a douchebag!

E: Look, I didn't lie to you about anything. I actually liked you, but you show up at the premiere uninvited, you check my phone, you listen to my messages, you want my emails? [Ashley squirms in seat] You say you are not crazy, but all signs point to the contrary. I'm sorry. [Leaves restaurant]

Scared Straight [6.11]

[Ari has a new assistant]

Matt: I got you a blueberry grand muffin from the Belwood Bakery, 'cause I was told it's your favorite. [walks together with Ari]

Ari: It is...[gets muffin from paper bag] except this is cranberry. [Matt is flabbergasted] See the red berries? [shoves muffin and paper bag in Matt's face]

Matt: Um, I asked for blue-

Ari: Did you check?

Matt: No.

Ari: Bye, Matt. [leaves him behind]

Matt: So, back to Human Resources?

Ari: Back to the Iowa farmhouse that breastfed you 'til 15!

[Turtle and Jamie-Lynn Sigler argue over the UCLA co-ed who flirted with him and later added him in Facebook]

Turtle: I think you're overreacting.

Jamie-Lynn: [packs up things for her New Zealand assignment] You do? You know how many people requested to be my friend? I didn't accept them all!

Turtle: I didn't want to be rude.

Jamie-Lynn: This is really convenient timing, don't you think?

Turtle: No this is terrible timing, 'cause now you're gonna leave all upset.

Jamie-Lynn: Sorry for your guilt!

Turtle: Jamie please, this is hard enough for me already, could you please trust me and forget about it?

Jamie-Lynn: I know I'm forgetting something.

Turtle: Jamie, you have everything. I looked under your bed, opened every drawer. Just wanna make sure you and I are okay.

Jamie-Lynn: Then delete her!

Turtle: Delete her?

Jamie-Lynn: Yeah! Take her off your friends list.

Turtle: [accesses FB on iPhone and deletes girl] Done. Feel better?

Jamie-Lynn: Not really.

Turtle: Jamie, come on.

Jamie-Lynn: Do you want me to go?

Turtle: No, I don't want you to go! This is gonna be a great opportunity. It's gonna be amazing for you.

Jamie-Lynn: [sits on bed, teary-eyed] You're really going to miss me?

Turtle: Baby, don't cry. I'll be waiting right here for when you get back. [Jamie hugs him]

Give A Little Bit [6.12]

[Ari and Mrs Ari discuss Terrance's buyout offer with the marriage therapist, and the real reason comes to light after Mrs Ari mentions Terrance, Adam Davies, and Lloyd]

Therapist: Is it true? Do you want to destroy these people, Ari?

Ari: Okay, yes. If I could GOUGE OUT Terrance McQuewick's eyeballs and eat them for what he did to me, I would. And I would sell that Benedict Arnold Adam Davies into white slavery if we lived in a place that had a market for it. And LLOYD, that little queen, who I welcomed into my home and allowed to play with my children and care for my dog and who left me for those two scumbags, I would tie him up and allow the entire Screen Actors Guild to anally rape him if not for the fact that I'd know he would enjoy it. I hate them all, and yes, I want to see them destroyed. But that is not why I want this company. I want - no, I need - this company, because it's good business. It's good goddamn business and if I don't buy it, someone else will and that will be very very bad for my business. And my wife, of all people, should know, that when it comes to business, my judgment is never clouded, so please [pleads to Mrs Ari] please support me like you always have, and I will deliver for us, like I always have.

Therapist: So, what do you think?

Mrs Ari: I think it was a good speech.

Therapist: Yeah.

Mrs Ari: Do what you need to do, Ari.

Ari: Really?[Mrs Ari nods] I love you. [Kisses Mrs Ari then to therapist] Can we fuck in here?

[E and Sloan are having a fight on the road about getting back together]

E: Why is it so selfish 'cause I'm tryin' to tell you I wanna be with you?

Sloan: [gets out of car and walks away] Because last time you convinced me it was forever, you took off with your buddies five minutes later!

E: I'm sorry, I was trying to get my business going!

Sloan: You took me for granted.

E: [blocks her] I know!

Sloan: Eric, why are you doing this to me?

E: Because I love you.

Sloan: I will not get lured back into this. I can't trust you! You love to have a girlfriend, but on your terms! You're never gonna be able to commit, not to anyone!

E: That is not true, I will commit to you right now!

Sloan: Eric, STOP!

E: I swear to God, I'm gonna marry you.

Sloan: [sarcastic] You'll marry me?

E: Yes, I'm gonna get into that car right now, drive to Vegas and commit to you for the rest of my life.

Sloan: Really? Have you even thought about this?

E: Yeah. I have, and this time I swear on my life, it'll be forever. [presents engagement ring]