White Men Can't Jump
- Written and directed by Ron Shelton.
- You see Billy it's like this, you either smoke or you get smoked. And you got smoked.
- You can put a cat in an oven, but that don't make it a biscuit.
- Oh man shut your anorexic malnutrition tapeworm-having overdose on Dick Gregory Bohemian diet-drinking ass up. Leave me alone!
- Can anybody step in for mr. handicap? Anybody, for Mr. Motherfucking March of Dimes?
- Billy, listen to me. White men can't jump.
- I don't mean to brag... but I'm the greatest!
- It's hard work makin' you look so bad.
- You still putting up bricks? What is this a masons convention? Clang!! Clang!! I need welding torch to play in this leauge. Lets stop right now and gather up all these bricks and build a shelter for the homeless so that your mother will have a place to live. I want your Mother and Sister out of my house immediately !!
- A white man wants to win first, look good second. A black man wants to look good first, win second.
- Yo, pretty boy! I looked up basketball player in the dictionary and it said 'Not you!'
- You're too pretty to play basketball, you know that? You got that Z in your 'fro! Hey man, what are you, the Black Zorro?
- Keep singin' guys... My old man was a preacher... I love this shit!
- Who you callin' a pilgrim motherfucker? Gobble this turkey!
- I'm in a fuckin' zone!
- It is hard God damn work, making something this pretty look like a chump!
- Gloria: See. if I'm thirsty. I don't want a glass of water, I want you to sympathize. I want you to say, "Gloria, I too know what it feels like to be thirsty. I too have had a dry mouth." I want you to connect with me through sharing and understanding the concept of dry mouthedness.
- Junior: We goin' Sizzla! We goin' Sizzla!
- Zeke: No, no, no, no...Billy Boy, this is Ghana. You, my friend, are shooting for The Sudan.
- Rhonda Deane: All I care about is getting out of the Vista View apartments, because there ain't no 'vista', there ain't no "view", and there certainly ain't no vista of no view.
- Junior: Billy Ho! Good ta see ya Billy ya look swell!
- Raymond: who rattled your cage dickhead?
- Sidney: Hey hey man, what's the score? Yo! Chump! I'm talking to you! I'm talking to the fucking air.
- Billy: My name ain't chump, it's Billy Hoyle.
- Sidney: Billy Hoyle. BILLY HOYLE. Billy Hoyle. Okay Billy... can you count to ten, Billy?
- Billy: Yeah.
- Sidney: Good. What's the score... Billy?
- Billy: I don't know.
- Sidney: Then you're a chump!
- Billy: I may be a chump, I just said that wasn't my name.
- Gloria: Teammates can't hustle each other.
- Rhonda: Why not?
- Gloria: It's not artistic.
- Billy: You calling me ugly?
- Sidney: Your mother did!
- Sidney: Billy, I have four words for you: "Listen to the Woman".
- Billy: What the hell does that mean, "Listen to the woman"? I TRIED to listen to the woman and you're the one who talked me out of it.
- Sidney: Wait a minute. I didn't talk you out of anything. I presented you with an option and you took it.
- Gloria: The money was mine to keep for both of us when Jeopardy called.
- Billy: Jeopardy is not going to call, when are you going to fuckin' wake up.
- Gloria: Jeopardy is going to call Billy, it is my destiny that I triumph magnificently on that show and I'll never do that if I have to wear this stupid hoochie-mama looking dress that you bought me which was obviously a poor excuse to cover up the fact that you fucked up again! I'm going to get on that motherfucking show, and I'm going to win, because I'm filled with more useless goddamn information than any human being on this fucking planet! Whose James K. Polk? How many moons are on Pluto? What's a quince? It's a food, Billy, that starts with the letter Q, and I got seven more! I can't believe you lost the goddamn money!
- Referee: Black ball.
- Dwight: What the fuck do you mean, black ball?
- Willie: Are you racist?
- Referee: Your jersey, not your skin.
- Willie: I knew you were a racist
- Dominic Wilson: Parkie you are number 1!
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