- I'm from the Church of the Potential Father
- To Toby when he asks what church she's from
- I'm a transsexual - not a transvestite.
- After her sister picks a garish outfit for Bree to wear to a family dinner
- Hormones are hormones. Yours and mine just happen to come in purple little pills.
- Toby: I'm not gonna marry you!
- Bree: Glory Hallelujah.
- Dr. Spikowsky: How do you feel about your penis?
- Bree: It disgusts me. I don't even like looking at it.
- Dr. Spikowsky: And how about your friends?
- Bree: They don't like it either.