Last modified on 30 November 2014, at 11:10

The Suite Life on Deck

The Suite Life on Deck, a spinoff of The Suite Life of Zack & Cody, is a sitcom focusing on 18-year-old twins Zack (portrayed by Dylan Sprouse) and Cody Martin (portrayed by Cole Sprouse), who move from The Tipton Hotel to the luxury cruise liner called the S.S. Tipton. 20 year-old London Tipton (portrayed by Brenda Song) must attend Seven Seas High School with the boys, and the new girl, Bailey Pickett (portrayed by Debby Ryan), with Mr. Moesby (portrayed by Phill Lewis) as the supervisor/ship manager.

Season 1Edit

The Suite Life Sets SailEdit

Miss Tutweiller: Bailey, I'd let you stay; but unfortunately we don't have a cabin to put you in.
Zack: She can stay in my room. I'm willing to take one for the team.
Miss Tutweiller: I meant, a girl's cabin. Every girl has a roommate.
London: Except for me!
Bailey: Oh, London. Thank you. Thank you.
Moseby: London, so nice of you to share your room with Bailey.
London: I wasn't offering! I was gloating!

Bailey: I want to stay here and be your BFF! (hugs London)
London: Get O-F-F.

Mr. Moseby: [reading a letter from London] "I can't take it anymore. No one understands me, no one cares about me. I'm going to a place where no one will ever find me! P.S. Please send my luggage to Daddy's villa on Parrot Island even though that's not where I'm going."

Moseby: You know, the older I get the more I realize that you have to look adversity in the face and say 'You don't scare me.'
Zack and Cody: Hey Mr. Moseby!
Moseby: (scream)
Carey: Moseby, you're shaking like a chihuahua.
Moseby: Oh, it's the sea breeze.
Carey: You probably shouldn't have left your pants in the drier for so long.
Moseby: Oh, hello Carey. Boys.
Cody: Did you miss us, Mr. Moseby?
Moseby: Oh why, yes yes. Why, without you the last three months on this floating paradise have been sheer torture.
Zack: Well, your sufferings over.
Moseby: Huh?
Cody: We're going to be attending Seven Seas High.
Moseby: Huh?
London: They said they're going to be attending Seven (holds up 7 fingers) Seas (makes a letter "C" with her hands) High (waves her hand)! (Turns toward Cody) He's gettin' old.
Carey: Believe me it was not an easy decision, but it's such an opportunity and I can afford it with my employee discount, so how could I say no.
Moseby: Like this. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (jumps over the side of the ship)
Carey: Well he took that better than I thought.

(The twins shake their head and London has a puzzled look on her face.)

Parrot IslandEdit

Mr.Moseby: [on cell phone] Yes, Captain, I want you to turn this ship around right away. We're missing a student. Well, here's why you should care: that student is London Tipton! [boat tips far to the side]

Bailey: Look! Where did that little piggy come from?
Woody:That's what the doctor said when he saw my extra toe.
Bailey: [to the pig] Are you stuck? Here, I have something for you. You like nuts? [picking up a rope lying on the ground] Oh, this rope will work like a leash. There. Aw, he's so sweet. He reminds me of my--
Zack: Breakfast?
Cody: Football?
Bailey: Y'all hush up! He reminds me of my pet pig from back on the farm. Sir Snorts-a-Lot and I were best friends. Then one day I woke up and he wasn't there any more. I got really worried. But Mama told me he moved to the big city.

Broke N YoyoEdit

Bus boy: I swiped this card and the machine just laughed. Ha-ha. Seriously though, you've maxed out your card.
Cody: You used up all the money on your card?
Zack: No, I used up all the money on your card. I maxed out mine yesterday.
Bus boy: Then this is yours. [cutting up the card] Is it a snowflake? Is it a butterfly? No.
Cody: You took my card?
Zack: Well, you left it lying around.
Cody: It was in my wallet! Under my pillow, guarded by Mister Snuggle Bear.
Zack: Well, he didn't put up much of a fight.
Cody: Zack, that was all of the money we had for food for the entire semester!
Zack: Well, why didn't you tell me that before I took your card? Cody, are you coming to give me a hug? [looks scared] Maybe not.

The Kidney of the SeaEdit

Zack: Here's your four-berry glass. Boisen, rasp, blue and straw.
Ashton: I only ordered three.
Zack: Then I guess your "berry" lucky.
Ashton: Then I guess you won't be getting a "berry" big tip.
Zack: Which would make me "berry" sad. Your turn.

[Zack is making more juice.]
Ashton: I know how hard it is to press a button, but this isn't a smoothie. It is a lumpy.

ShowgirlsEdit

London: Moseby and Tutweiller sitting in a tree. K-I-issing.

International DatelineEdit

Tutweiller: Has anyone ever heard of the International Dateline?
[Cody and Bailey raise their hands.]
Woody: What you say to a French babe so she'll go out with you?
Bailey: No. It's an imaginary line created in 1884, to the east of which the date is a day earlier than it is to the west.
Cody: So when you cross the dateline you have to turn your clocks back 24 hours, a full day.
Tutweiller: Correct. [claps] Yay! Which is what we are going to do tonight.
Zack: That works for me. Because if tomorrow is going to be today again, then today is actually yesterday, which means that yesterday's homework isn't due today, it's really due... tomorrow!
Tutweiller: In other words, you didn't do your homework?
Zack: Yet.

Tutweiller: London, can you tell me what this is?
London: A bad manicure.
Tutweiller: No. Though, ew. Okay. Has anyone heard of the International Dateline?
Cody: Wait a second. What's going on here? We already learned about the International Dateline.
Tutweiller: I'm sorry if you read ahead, Cody, but I have to teach to the lowest common denominator.
[Zack is balancing a pencil on his nose.]
Zack: Whoa, whoa, we're doing Math now? I thought this was Geography.
Cody: No. I mean, what happened to the dance?
Bailey: You mean, the one we're having tonight?
Cody: I'm having the strangest sense of déjà vu.
London: Déjà who?
Cody: Déjà vu. It's French for "I've seen this all before."
Zack: Wait a second. This is French? I thought this was Math.

Bailey: Goose darn it! Where are all the shrimp?
Cody: Yes. Everything is going according to plan.

London: Wow Cody! You're telepathetic!

Tutweiller: London, can you tell me what this is?
Cody: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tutweiller: You're probably right, Cody, but let's give her a chance anyway.
[London makes a face at Cody]

It's All Greek to MeEdit

Mr. Moesby: How's the speech going?
London: Pretty good. Here it goes: "Ladies and..."
Mr. Moesby: That's it?
London: So far."
Mr. Moesby: Well,you have to admit that it's some of her best work.
Miss Tutweiller: [looks at London's speech] She misspelled "ladies."
Mr. Moesby:I know."
Miss Tutweiller: London, since when is there a q in "ladies"?
London: It's a silent q! Duh!

Sea Monster MashEdit

Woody: But she's smart and you're smart. That's stupid.

Flowers and ChocolateEdit

Chelsea: London!
London: Wow, you look just like my friend Chelsea! Same stringy hair, same ugly clothes, same bad nose job.
Chelsea: I am Chelsea.
London: Chelsea, you look fabulous!
'"['Italic text'].
'"London'": What are you doing here?
'"Chelsea'": Well I wanted to surprise my best friend. And get the real dirt.
'"London'": On who?
'"Chelsea'":On "you"

SeaHarmonyEdit

Cody: Good morning, ladies. I'm using the one hour Moseby lets us be on deck for a little yoga.
London: I prefer my yoga with fruit on the bottom.

London: Well, we'll just have to change their answers so they match.
Zack: No kidding. Miss Tutweiller is looking for a six foot guy.
London: Well, that's a deal-breaker. Moseby's only got two feet.

Ms. Tuttwiler: I don't get it. His name is Curly, but he doesn't have any hair.
Mr. Moesby: That's the joke!

The Mommy and the SwamiEdit

London: Once, when I flunked Kindergarden, Daddy cut my allowance to one pony a week.
Zack: [jokingly] Hey, Yogi, [points at Yogi] where's Boo Boo?
Yogi: Wow. [sarcastically] First time I heard that one.

Maddie on DeckEdit

London: Unpack what? She can't afford any luggage.

(Everyone argues again.)

Bailey: Why don't you guys just flip a coin?

(Everyone agrees.)

London: Who has a coin?
Maddie: (holding a coin) I do.
Mr. Moseby: Wonderful. Thank you Maddie.
Everyone: Maddie! (they all greet Maddie)
Maddie: London, so good to see you. And Mr. Moseby, rockin' the knee socks.
Mr. Moseby: And I have a crest.
Maddie: I see. And Cody, no sweater vest?
Cody: Oh Maddie, that was the old Cody. You're looking at the new cool Cody. (hugs Maddie)
Maddie: Ow.
Cody: Oh sorry. That was my astronaut pen.
Maddie: And you must be Bailey, London's roommate. Did she give you any space for your clothes?
Bailey: I just got upgraded from a nail to a hook.
Maddie: Nice.
Zack: Hey sweet thing. How about some sugar?
Maddie: Come here.
Zack: (about to hug her but goes to the pool and throws up in there then comes back to prepares to hug Maddie)
Maddie: I think I'll pass.

London: Told you, she's poor! She sleeps on a raft!
Bailey: London, they make very comfortable inflatable mattresses these days.
Maddie: They do... But this happens to be a raft.

Maddie: I can't believe I'm being forced to marriage at gunpoint!
Bailey: More like cannon point!

When in Rome...Edit

Zack: This Pizza in a Cone is amazing. It's like ice cream, with the nutritional value of pizza!
Cody: I will not put that garbage in my body. Now let's go search through Gigi's dumpster. I want leftovers.

London: Hey, I have the same sunglasses!
Bailey: These are your sunglasses. [takes off her red wig and sunglasses] It's me, Bailey.

ShipnotizedEdit

Olivia Cabot: Who is Bailey?
Zack: My brother's secret love. He loves her, but he keeps it a secret... from her!

Mom and Dad on DeckEdit

Mr. Moseby:Oh, Carey!
Carey: Mr. Moseby, its so nice to see you. [Moseby gives her a long list]. I haven't checked in yet.
Mr. Moseby: This is the list of all the things your boys broke.
Carey: [reads the list] Zack, how do you break an anchor?
Zack: In my defense, I was trying to impress a girl ....it worked.

[Zack and Kurt laugh]

Carey: [to Kurt] You think its so funny? You pay for it.
Kurt: [reads the list] How do you break a propeller?
Zack: Easy, you drop an anchor on it.

London: What do you do for a living?
Mr. Moseby: [sarcastic] I'm a ventriloquist!
London: Do you have a dummy?
Mr. Moseby: Oh, yes I do.

London: Favorite play?
Mr. Moseby: Go away.
London: Favorite movie?
Mr. Moseby: Go away.
London: Based on the play?
Mr. Moseby: Please go away!
London: Is that the sequel?
Mr. Moseby: [screams]
London: [taking notes] Screams like a girl.

London: [taking notes] Favorite song.
Mr.Moseby: [gasps] My heavens!
London: Likes gospel music. Favorite animal.
Mr.Moseby: Zack!
London: A combination of a zebra and a yak.

The Wrong StuffEdit

London: Cody, you're smart. I have a question about outer space.
Cody: (pointing upward) It's up there.

Splash & TrashEdit

Zack: That's why I threw it at you.
Zack: Are you practicing your kicking?
Zack: The Jets have toenails? You're Training!
Mr. Moseby: Phew! What is that smell?

Mulch Ado Without NothingEdit

(after the other people guess what was inside her package from home)

Bailey: Mulch.
Everybody: Mulch?
Bailey: Yes it's the thing I always liked. (sniffles the mulch) I think I'm gonna cry.
Cody: Does it smell that bad?
Bailey: No, it smells like home this is the first year to miss the corn festival
London: Guess that explains why she likes home. (laughs)
Bailey: Right at ya! this year I would have been winning for corn queen. (crying) I miss home!
Woody: Hey maybe we can use this as a cape.
London: Hey look it's sparkly!

(Woody hits his head on her gift London polishes it)

Cruisin' for a Bruisin'Edit

London: Help! Help! There's a tiny injured be-sparkled man on the lose!
Cody: Nurse Frightengale said every time you call to check on the ship, it spikes your blood pressure.
Moseby: So do you, but she let you in.

Double-CrossedEdit

Cody: Date?
Bailey: Oh, yeah.
Cody: Yes! My six month plan worked!

Season 2Edit

The Spy Who Shoved MeEdit

Cody: Wow, slow night. Are you as bored as I am?
Zack: I was as bored as you, then you showed up, now I'm even more bored

Zack: Yes you did. {Pretending to be a Jedi}
Mr Moseby: No I didn't. {Pretending to be a Jedi}
Cody: We're spies, not Jedi.

Cody: London, we need your help?
London: I don't help people.
Zack: London, you will help us? {Pretending to be a Jedi}
London: I will help you. {hypnotized}

Ala-ka-scram!Edit

Moseby: Don't talk, and listen. Now, I am not going to fire Armando. I mean, you're the one who ruined the show. By the way, what happened to his real assistant?
London: Aw, don't worry about her. She's in a better place.
Moseby: [gasps] London, you didn't!
London: Oh, don't get your hankie in a twist. Well, I just wanted daddy to get rid of her, but I forgot he was between wifes. So, now she's mommy number... [counts fingers] ...fourteen!

Woody: How much preparation do we need? We play invisible instruments. We're basically mimes without make-up!

In the Line of DutyEdit

Cody: How's my beautiful Bailey's comet?
Bailey: Just get out of astronomy?
Cody: Yep. And between classes I have a few heavenly minutes to spend with you.
Bailey: Oh Cody, I feel your gravitational pull.

Kitchen CasanovaEdit

Bailey: I think I have a crush on the teacher.
Addison: Oh, and I may have mixed in my retainer.
Cody: [Takes bite of sauce and chokes] More cilantro, less metal.
Girl in cooking class: She's interested in Woody now!
Bailey: Woody! I wouldn't go out with Woody if he was the last guy on earth!
Woody: Hey!
Bailey: Woody, I'm sorry. I didn't mean... [girls smacks her with spatula]

Smarticle ParticlesEdit

Moseby: Oh, London, I see you have your backpack. You're ready for today's quiz?
London: Yep. [Opens backpack and pulls out a pillow] Pillow, to rest my wittle head on while everyone else takes the quiz, [Pulls out a nightmask] nightmask, to cover my wittle eyes so I can nap while everyone else takes the quiz, and for later, [Pulls out a fashion magazine] a wittle fashion magazine to read since I'll have detention for sleeping while everyone else took the quiz.
Moseby: London, you have to try a wittle harder.

Family ThaisEdit

London's Grandma: I caught them this morning.

[London and Bailey stop eating]

London: Caught? What am I eating?
London's Grandma: Crickets.

Goin' BananasEdit

Cody: May I ask where your degree is from?
Zack: Shut it monkey bait. It's your fault we're in this mess.
Cody: How is it my fault you're unable to write a term paper?!
Zack: It's not that I'm unable. It's just it would have never been as good one of yours.
Mr. Blanket: HIT HIM AGAIN!!!!
Zack: Nothing I ever do seems good enough. It's not always easy being compared to you.
Cody: How do think I feel you always been better at sports and girls and had more friends then me? I thought this could be a place I could excel and be my own person, not just Zack's nerdy brother.
Zack: I didn't know you felt that way.
Cody: I didn't know you felt that way either.
Zack: I'm sorry man.
Cody: Me too. [hugs Zack]

Lost at SeaEdit

Bailey: London!
London: ... Starts with a B.
Bailey: Bailey?
London: Nah, that couldn't be it. [A pause] Bailey!
Bailey: You remembered! So what did you do on your vacation?
London: Three words: went shop-ping! What did you do?
Bailey: Two words: plow-ing!

London: Selfish? Fish swim in schools. Now they'll have textbooks!

Bailey: You know, that girl is a lot smarter than we give her credit for.
Cody: She still ate a bug.
London: [Hands bug to Bailey] By the way, here's your bug back.

RoomiesEdit

Moseby: Just sign it, to Marion
Marcus: Is that your mother?
Moseby: Yes it is

Crossing JordinEdit

  • Alyssa: [British accent] How many times have I told you to place the parasailing pamphlets properly in the pamphlet podium?!

Bermuda TriangleEdit

Bailey: Look, I know you guys still aren't speaking but it's your birthday and all of your friends want you to have a good time.
Cody: You know, for some strange reason, I'm not that mad anymore.
Zack: Me either. In fact, I've never felt closer to you.
Cody: Same here. I love you man.
Zack: I love you too.
Cody: Come here. [the twins hug]
Marcus: I love you, London.
London: I love me too! [hugs herself]

The Beauty and the FleecedEdit

Mother of the GroomEdit

Cody: Drinking soda after 9:30

Esteban: I just lost the most beautiful girl in the world.
London: I'm right here.
Esteban: I mean my Francesca.
Bailey: Maybe London and I could...
London: Stop volunteering me to help people!

Esteban: Star Wars!
Mr. Moseby: That's not even a musical!
Mr. Moseby: What on earth, would make you guess star wars!
Esteban: But I thought you were trying to cut your own little lightsaber.
Mr. Moseby: That's the stupid thing I ever heard.
Esteban: Why are you yelling at me I'm getting married tomorrow.

The Defiant OnesEdit

Any Given FantasyEdit

  • Zack': Oh Arizona is about to score Woody change the channel!
  • Woody: No Problem! (Uses the beak in his woodpecker costume to change the channel)
  • Zack: With your hands Bird Brain!

Rollin' with the HolmiesEdit

Zack: London's not your girlfriend. She barely remembers your name.
Marcus:She barely even remembers her own name!

Can You Dig It?Edit

Zack: I left when the spider picked up the stick and started to whack Marcus.

Zack: Whoa! Chick fight with only one chick!

Princess Zaria: [lifts Cody from the ground] HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ME DOG?!

Isabel: So Zack, where will your next adventure take you?
Zack: My cabin. You can tell all your viewers and the undead the only reason I found that crown in the first place is because Cody, this guy right here, he knew where to look! he did the research so haunt him!
Cody: [smiles at Zack] Thanks Zack.
Zack: You're welcome but I gotta go now because I literally have ants in my pants. [leaves]
Isabel: So, did you face any giant scorpions?
Cody: ...(laughs )A COUPLE. Walk with me.

Cody: I want to get on the cover of Tomb Digest.
Zack: Yeah, that's read by tens of people!

London's ApprenticeEdit

London: The race for the million dollar idea is on!
London: Okay dazzle me boy who looks like Cody but isn't smart.
Zack: Hey! that's what mom calls me too.
Cody: Oooops
Mr. Moseby: Oh ya, the oooops always makes it better. Perhaps you'd stick some bacon in my ears

Once Upon a Suite LifeEdit

[In a spin on Snow White, London is the Evil Queen who hires the huntsman (Mr. Moseby) to kill and bring the head of Snow White (Bailey)]

Mr. Moseby: [Holding up a carved pumpkin] I brought you her head
London: [Stares at the pumpkin for a while] Yep! That's her!

Marriage 101Edit

Marcus: I missed one day of school and everyone got married?

Miss Tutweiller: You can be a housewife.
London: Can I be a mansion wife?

Miss Tutweiller: [Gestures to Woody and Addison] Marcus, meet your new parents!

[Woody just lost an arm-wrestling match to Allison]
Cody: Dude, you got beat by a girl who can fit in a keyhole

Model BehaviorEdit

Rock the KabashEdit

Bailey: Cody, I've never seen anything so beautiful.
London: Clearly there's not a mirror in that box. [Bailey stomps her foot]
Bailey: Thank you. I love them. [hugs Cody]
Cody: [pulls Zack aside] Zack, I can't believe you got those. Thank you.
Zack: Well, you're my brother and I don't want us to wind up throwing knives at each other.
Cody: [smiles] That might just be one of the nicest things you've ever said to me.

I Brake for WhalesEdit

Cody: OUR BABIES!

Seven Seas NewsEdit

Bailey: I'm pretty sure we lost some viewers when you and your mascara started running.

Zack: Well, unless there cute bacteria in bikinis, we're not interested.

Zack: This is Zack Martin from... [Bailey cuts him off]
Bailey: And Bailey Picket! Ha!

Miss Tutweiller: Welcome to Seven Seas News! Do-do-da-do-do-da-do-do-da-do! Pan, pan, pan!


Woody: I'm so scared.
Cody: Keep the camera on me.

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!{screaming}

Bailey: Cody, are you okay?
Zack: What's happening?
Cody: Sever arm!
little Kirby: Requesting {cough} backup.
Kirby: No!!!!
Kirby: Little Kirby. Stay with me. Cam officer down! Cam officer down!

Starship TiptonEdit

Mr. Moseby: Holy hobgoblins! What is going on?

Mr. Moseby: [rips a mask from his imposter, sees he's a robot, and screams]
Bailey: [gasps] Mr. Moesby is a robot!
London: That would explain why he never wanted the company of a woman.

Breakup in ParisEdit

Cody: [on top of the Eiffel Tower] BAILEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bailey: Did you just call me stupid?
Cody: If the shoe fits.

[Shoes start falling from the sky and hit Bailey and Cody]

Cody: What the heck?!

Woody: Wee! Wee!
Zack: NO! No more wee wee!

Zack: Happy anniversary Cody.

Season 3Edit

The Silent TreatmentEdit

Woody: How do you normally get off the island Brother Theodore?
Brother Theodore: Well, I told you. I have a little dinghy.
Woody: *laughing*
Sir Theodore: What?
Cody: Don't mind him, he's a little dingy. *Woody shuts up* What's in store for us next, Brother?
Sir Theodore: *looks at the list* Oh, let me see, uh...Oh, here you are. You're on the kiln list.
Woody: The kill list?! Please, I'm not ready to die! I promise I'll never make fun of your leaky dinghy again.
Sir Theodore: The kiln list, not the kill list. Though you're about to get on that one, too. [leaves]
Cody: He means we have to make pottery.
Zack: But I don't have to go!
Cody: Make "Pottery". Not "potty"! You guys get, what, like every other word?
Woody: Guys what every word? Is it just me, or is he hard to understand?

Zack: Okay that's it! I don't care if I have to sit in the chair of extreme discomfort for a week. I have something to say. Cody look , I know you're in pain over your break-up with Bailey- [turns to the other monks] Seriously this girl was smoking.
Cody: [groans]
Zack: The point is, there's a lot of great adventures out there, but you can't have any of them stuck in here with a bunch of weird bald dudes.
Brother Theodore: He ain't wrong.
Cody: Zack, I appreciate that but my brothers-
Zack: These aren't your brothers. I'm your brother and I care about you. I'm not leaving this island without you.
Cody: Thanks, Zack. [hugs Zack]

Bailey: [Bailey and Miss Tutweiler are crying over breakups] London why are you crying?
London: Because I'm stuck on a boat with you people!

London: When you said we were going to put on fancy dresses, I didn't think you meant putting them on cats!

Rat TaleEdit

So You Think You Can Date?Edit

Mr. Moseby: In the weekend, that must be failed in the treasure hunt we'll never be able to do. Because of me, that always has to do with that the end of the story.

My Oh MayaEdit

Cody: (playing with his wrists) OW! OW! OW!
Zack: What are you doing?
Cody: Trying to condition myself to stop thinking of Bailey.
Zack: I think I'm in love.

Maya: [With menu] Here are some extra crayons for your menu. Please don't eat them

Cody: [Smiles] You're in love! [Tickles Zack] Zacky loves Maya!
Zack: Hey! I do not! Love is a very strong word reserved for special thing.
Zack: Maya won't date me!
Zack: Hey five bucks. Oh Cody, Cody, Cody. Like I don't know the combination is mom's birthday.
Zack: (as he picks up the phone) Hey Mom! Yeah. Yeah I miss you too. Hey quick question: When's your birthday again? Well then Happy Birthday. BTW Whatever Cody sent you, it's from the two of us. Yeah Yeah Yeah. Can't talk now. Goodbye! (As Zack hangs up his cell phone)

(Zack is using the key to open up the treasure chest) (eerie music playing)

Zack: Wow, this kid's got issue.
Zack: Here it is. (As Zack opens the book) Month one: Admire her from afar? Lame! Month two: Admire her from sightly less afar. More lame.

Zack: Oh, Maya I made you a honeydew dream because today your dreams will come true.
Maya: I'm gonna dance with a giant rabbit while Lady Gaga plays the spoons?
Zack: Not that dream.

Das BootsEdit

Zack: You know what Maya, I really hate being your friend,
Maya: Thanks! That would look really great on a valentines card!

Bon VoyageEdit

Frankie: [walks to everyone in a scuba diver suit] Mr. Moseby, I think I got to the bottom of things.
Mr. Moseby: And?
Frankie: It seems something clogged an air duct causing an internal rupture which cracked the window.
Bailey: Was it my corn snips?
Cody: Was it my sujihiki?
Woody: Was it my powerful bowels?
Frankie: [to Bailey] No. [to Cody] No. [to Woody] Ew. It was this pocket hanky! Apparently you dropped your hanky into the vent when you got scared by that dolphin and wet your pants. [she leaves]

(Everyone looks at Mr. Moseby.)

Mr. Moseby: [smiles nervously] Oops. [his cellphone rings] Ah! It's Mr. Tipton! He's gonna wanna know who to throw off the ship. I don't want to leave!
Bailey: We can't let Mr. Tipton fire Mr. Moseby.
London: Oh give me the phone! [takes the phone and talks to her dad] Daddy, I flooded the Aqua Lounge. It was all my fault. Yep, it's Switzerland all over again. Mhmm. Mhmm. Yay! Bye daddy! [hangs up]
Marcus: Well, did he kick you off?
London: Nah. He just cut my allowance to 50,000 a week.
Cody: Looks like no one is leaving the ship after all.
Marcus: [looks at his cellphone] I'm leaving the ship!
Everybody: What?!
Zack: But it's Moseby's fault.
Marcus: I know, but I just got an email from those producers about my hip hopera, they said it was the most ridiculous thing they have ever seen!
Bailey: Then why are you so happy?
Marcus: They said it's going to be the next big comedy. They're moving my whole family to New York; I'm going to star in a Broadway show! I'm going to be the lead tooth.
Zack: Comedy? I thought you said it was a serious love story about overcoming adversity.
Marcus: Look, it's a stupid song about a girl with bad teeth.

At the Aqua Lounge:

Everybody: [singing] Retainer baby, retainer baby, I require your wire.
Mr. Moseby: [still singing when everybody stops] Retainer baby! [makes weird noises then stops] Guess it's cake time.

[Everybody separates.]

Marcus: Well Mr. Moseby thanks again for everything. Before I leave I want to give you something.
Mr. Moseby: Please Marcus you don't need to do that. Your friendship is gift enough.
Marcus: Well it's a Little Little t-shirt made into a pocket hanky.
Mr. Moseby: THIS IS THE BEST GIFT EVER! [hugs Marcus and leaves]
Bailey: Aww! This reminds me of my goodbye party when I left Kettlecorn except you're leaving and I'm not. And we're on a boat not on a barn. And there's not a giant twister barring down on us. [hugs Marcus] Oh Marcus, congratulations!
Marcus: Thanks! [Bailey leaves]
Marcus: [to Woody] Well Woody, I'm going to miss you.
Woody: Marcus, I always thought of you as a brother. A real brother. Not like this kid named Neil who's forty years old and lives in my treehouse.
Marcus: Well I got nothing to say for that so let's just cut right to the man hug. [hugs Woody]
Woody: We're gonna miss you Marcus.
Cody: Just want to say good luck big guy. To think you'll be entertaining people while promoting proper dental care? I am so proud of you. [hugs Marcus]
Marcus: I'm going to miss you Cody.
Cody: I'm going to miss you too.
Marcus: [to Zack] Zack, I think I'm going to miss you most of all.
Woody: Hurtful.
Zack: I'm going to miss you too buddy. You know you're the only roommate I've ever had that I didn't hate.
Cody: Hurtful.
Zack: [hugs Marcus]
Marcus: Well you guys, I just want to say thank you for everything. Before I came here I was going through a really, really tough time but you guys took me in. You made me feel like family and I will always be grateful to you so thank you. And if you guys are ever in New York, please just look me up.
Zack: You know what? We just might do that someday.
London: Someday? How about now? Take me with you!
Marcus: Okay! [picks up London and starts to leave]
London: Next stop Tiffany's! Whoo!
Zack: dot , dot, circle, circle with a stick, dot with a stick and a feather. It doesn't make any sense
Marcus: Those are notes!
Zack: I got a note for you, BORING!

Computer DateEdit

Arwin: Callie made her own mobile unit. My creation made a creation. I'm a granddad!

Woody: Zack we need your help!
Zack: Okay, step one: deny everything! Step two: if they don't believe step one, blame your twin.

Zack: Hey, Cody... I went on a date with this geeky girl... (Begins to describe her, making a point of how horrible she is)
Cody: So?
Zack: So! I got her number for you!
Cody: (Sighs and looks really angry) Why can't anyone understand that I'm perfectly happy alone? CAN YOU NOT SEE HOW HAPPY I AM?!?!?!

Party On!Edit

Sean Kingston: Wow, she's so pretty - i think i'm in love.

Love and WarEdit

London: You wanna see something really funny [pauses] BAILEY'S CLOTHES!
[kids laugh]

Bailey: The kids hate me.
London: Not just the kids.

Cody: So, big change on someone's online profile.
Woody: Oh you saw I got my 10th friend, double digits baby!
Cody: Yeah, it's nice that your grandma finally accpted your friend request.
Woody: Actually, it was my mum, nana's still pending.
Cody: No, i'm talking about Maya's page. Looks like she just updated her status to 'in a relationship'. You know what this means Zack?
Zack: Yeah, she's really into me, can you blame her?
Cody: Noo-oo It means you've gotta change your status too, and well, your whole life.
Zack: Well I don't. I already got Maya. It's all smooth sailing from here.
Cody: Smooth sailing - just like the Titanic! You have no idea how much work it takes to maintain a relationship with a girl.
Zack: What work?
Cody: Well, they always make you put them first. Suddenly what you want doesn't matter anymore. When we started dating, Bailey made me join her stupid quilting circle!
Woody: You were in that before she was!
Cody: Whatever, my point is -
Woody: Actually didn't you start the quilting circle?
Cody: My point is you're gonna have to start making changes my friend!
Zack: No no no I'm not gonna change for anyone, not even Maya
Cody: [walks out laughing] That guy!
Zack: What does Cody know about women; except he's a pedicure away from being one?
Woody: So does this mean that you're not gonna change your status to 'in a relationship'?
Zack: No way! Just cause Maya changed her's doesn't mean that I have to change mine.
Maya: [Walks over] Hey Zack, did you happen to notice my status?
Zack: Well of course I did..
Maya: Sooo...
Zack: So it was very nice of you to do that.
Maya: And... [flips hair]
Zack: And.. I was just about to change mine, but I wanted to see your face when I did it.
Maya: Aww Zack!
Zack: See that's the face!
Woody: Way to hold your guns, pal!
Maya: [phone bleeps] Hmm? I just got a request from a Mildred Fink.
Woody: Nana! Hurtful!

Trouble in TokyoEdit

Zack: Taken with you?
Carey: I didn't even know shrimps have butts.

Carey: Ew, that was the worst one yet! Tasted like goats feet!
Cody: The throw up's starting to taste better than the soda!
Zack: Don't give them any ideas. That will be the next flavor!

Mr. Moseby: Our next victi- uh, challenger is - [gets picked up by giant sumo wrestler; screaming] Aaahh! NO! NO NO NO, NOT ME! I'M THE HOST!
Sumo wrestler: [Puts Mr. Moseby down] Oh, sorry lady.

Bailey: Woody! Your B.O caused a K.O! [Woody approaches her about to hug; avoiding his underarms] No no!
Woody: Lock and load!

Cody: What's The Big problem? Zack: Look at my room! Cody: Your room is always a mess. Zack: I Know but I always keep my dirty socks on the left side of the bed in case I trip while I'm on my way to the bathroom. Woody: Oh so you have a comfy pile of dirty socks to fall in. Woody: Clever! Zack: But now they're on the right! Zack: The Right! Cody: You're not going to tell us it's the stupid captain ghost. Zack: Shh! Don't Call him stupid! He might get angry Woody: Why would a ghost be haunting you? Cody: Your help? You can't even write your history paper or fold your own underpants. Woody: Who folds their underpants? Cody: I do! Promptly after ironing them. Cody: We were hormone-crazed 12 year old boys. We saw women popping out of everything. Cody: Plus you don't even have any actual evidence of a ghost being here. Zack: I'm not gonna be the only one here tonight. (as Zack closed the door) Cause you two are staying here too. Cody: Woody, stop pulling my blanket off my bed. Woody: What? I'm not even near your bed. Zack: Ah! Ghost! Ghost! (Zack, Woody and Cody screaming for ghost when turning the lights on) Cody: What happened? Zack: The ghost, he pulled my blanket off my bed! Cody: (starts whining) Or it fell on the floor.

Senior Ditch DayEdit

Bailey: [Voiceover as Ms. Tutweiller is reading] Ms. Tutweiller. Ms. Tutweiller. Ms. Tutweiller!
Ms. Tutweiller: [Comes out of her trance] Oh, what?!

Cody: Ms. Tutweiller, Bailey seems to be failing Fun 101, whereas I am having extra fun. (Ms. Tutweiller and Bailey leave the room and Cody immediately gets out of the hot tub, pulling out a huge tub of hand sanitizer and beginning to furiously run sanitizer all over his body.) That is so unsanitary... (A mom and her kids are staring at him like he's crazy. [to kids]) Oh, you think I'm nuts? You're nuts!!! (The kids run away in fear)

Bailey: Ms. Tutweiller, don't you think laser tag elevates the mindless violence so prevelant in our society?
Ms. Tutweiller: No, I think it's fun.

Ms. Tutweiller: I am going to teach you two to have fun if it's the last thing I ever do!

Bailey: As your teacher, you're required to actually teach us something.
Ms. Tutweiller: I graduated from a community college; I didn't take an oath.
Bailey: [Whispers to Cody] I bet she barely got in.

London: Hola Valentina!
Valentina: Do I know you?
London: It's London. Tipton. London Tipton.

London: Remember the ski trip in Switzerland last spring? I was on the slopes, tying my shoe, and you skiied right over me.

Woody: Do not touch me, peasant! I am Lord Pembleton.

Valentina: [To Zack] Do you hear that? [Shakes her glass in his face] It is the sound of my glass being emptied. Fill it. [Shoves glass at him]
Zack: Hey, I don't work here!
Valentina: [Appalled] You mean you wear those close on purpose?

Woody: That's us. The Three Muskateers!

Zack: I offered to stay with her, but you know Maya doesn't like anybody to see her when she's sick.
Woody: I've never seen anybody puke like that. It landed all over the shuffleboard court!
London: On the upside, it landed on the 10!

Cody: I've had a perfect attendance record since Kindergarden.
'Bailey: Mine's perfect since Preschool.
Cody: I skipped Preschool. They didn't think I needed it.

Ms. Tutweiller: When I assigned you this art project, I wanted you to make something artistic... not academice.
Cody: What's more artistic than a brain you can eat?
Bailey: DNA you can snuggle with.

Cody: [After clearing the hot tub] Excuse me sir, you left your pussy bandage.

Guard at exclusive party: [To London] You. [To Zack] You. [To Woody] Not you.
Zack: [To guard] Look buddy, he's okay. He's with me.
Guard: Do you want to go in or not?
London: Well, see ya! [Leaves]
Zack: I'll stay with you, buddy.
Woody: [As guard detains him] Go ahead. I'll be okay.
Zack: Thanks, buddy. [Follows London]
Woody: [To guard] I can't believe he actually went ahead!

Zack: I really wanted to get a video of Rafi saying Hi to Maya.
Woody: [Holds up video camera] Got it.
Zack: You got it? You met Raphael?!
Woody: Well, not exactly. I was walking, and I dropped my glass on his foot and he said "Aiiiiiiii!"
Zack: Thanks, buddy. Maya's really gonna love this.

Ms. Tutweiller: [As Bailey and Cody are shooting her with laser guns] Stop! Just stop, and I'll give you an A!

Bailey: [After playing laser tag] [Suprised] That was fun!
Cody: Do you know what I want to do now?
Bailey: Write a paper about it?
Cody: Yes. [Both excited]
Bailey: My paper'll be better.
Cody: Oh no it won't. [They leave together]
Ms. Tutweiller: [Lying on the ground, exhausted] [Sighs as boy comes up and starts shooting her with laser gun]

My Sister's KeeperEdit

Zack: [hits Woody]
Woody: Ow! What was that for?!
Zack: For having a pretty sister. [hits Woody again]
Woody: Ow! What was that for?
Zack: For not telling me about her. [hits Woody again]
Woody: Ow! What was that for?
Zack: Nothing. I just like hitting you.

Woody: You broke my sister's heart!
Cody: Yeah!? Well She broke wind!

FrozenEdit

Arturo: Do you know what it's like to not have a single thought in your head?
London: ...Huh?
Arturo: Look who I'm talking to.
London: ...Who? [looks around]

Zack: I gotta worm in my pocket.
Woody: Why?
Zack: ...I dunno!

Arturo: You can't keep me in here!
London: I can't... but this NAIL GUN CAN!

Arturo: Uh, uh, uh- oh, you got my bath collection. Did you get the matching loofahs?

Woody: uhm. Guys why does this monster have a zipper?
Cody: Guys, this isn't a monster, it's Dr. Cork.
Woody: I still say we eat him.
Dr. Cork: Please don't eat me! I have an internet date on Friday!

A London CarolEdit

Bailey: (wearing a Santa outfit) Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! Please donate to the needy children.
Cody: (wearing a elf suit and gets a teddy bear from a woman) Thank you! Look Bailey, our first donation!
Bailey: Oh great! (wipes sweat from her forehead)
Cody: Wow, you look really hot.
Bailey: Oh, ummm, thanks cody, but it doesn't sound like that is the way you speak to a friend ,right?

Young London: A car?! (London joins in) YAY!

Young London: (sad) Daddy's not coming home for Christmas?
Mr. Moseby: You know what? Let's head down to that shelter and help the less fortunate. That always bucks up your spirits.
Young London: My spirits are fine. I just want to stay here and play with my toys. (starts backing up with her car)

Future London: (hangs up) I have nobody. (crying)
London: (feels sad) That's awful. Am I really going to be that lonely mirror? (turns to sees the mirror isn't there) Mirror?

The Play's the ThingEdit

Zack: [playing as Brody] Here she comes now.
Cody: [steps on stage wearing a dress, a wig and speaks in falsetto voice] Hello my beloved.
Zack: [stares at Cody in shock] Cody? I knew this day would come but I didn't expect it so soon.

Cody: [as Hailey] Or so he thinks! For Paris is full of men and I plan on shaking my bon-bons for each and every one of them.

Cody: [as Hailey] Now's the part where you're supposed to kiss me.
Zack: ...No. That is... not going to happen.

Bailey: [To Cody] How could you hate me so much?

Twister, Part 1Edit

London: [Driving to Kettlecorn] Are we there yet?!
Bailey: Still no, but, hey! Let's play a game to pass the time! Okay, uh, me first. I spy with my little eye something that begins with the letter-
London: CORN! (glares at Bailey)

Cody: Zack, you said you wanted to see me? Did you hear from Bailey?
Zack: No. She's gone for good.

Woody: [Seeing that they will be playing basketball against Dwight Howard] We're in trouble.

Zack: Okay guys, I know we can win this.
Woody: How?
Zack: I have no idea.

Bailey: (singing) See, my name is Carol and I live in Carolina. My husband's name is Carl, and we all sell -
London: (interrupting) CORN! Enough with the corn. (menacingly) I hate corn!

Twister, Part 2Edit

London: [Being attacked by a corn-beetle] Get this bug got off of me!
Bailey: Actually, London, it's gone.
London: Since when?!
Bailey: Ten miles ago. I didn't want to tell you 'cause we were making such good time.

Eunice: (Shouting) Twister!!!
London: Twister? I love that game!

Eunice: Hey, London, you're whittling! what're you making?
London: A pointy stick to stab all you people.
Eunice: Well, why don't you just use the knife?
London: (makes a maniacal face)
Eunice: Why did I just say that?

Twister, Part 3Edit

Woody: Hurtful, sir!

Bailey: They're fatigues.
London: Yeah, we're all tired.

London: Stupid roof co-AAAAHHHH!!! [falls down and lands on Cody]

Zack: Are you gonna kiss her or are we gonna have to wait six months again?

Moseby: Mr. Tipton, you are doing a very nice thing.
Mr. Tipton: I know, but I'm going to go through with it anyway. Marilyn, I like the cut of your gib. You look me up if you ever need a job.

Snakes on a BoatEdit

Moseby: THAT'S IT. I've HAD ENOUGH of these (ship's horn blows) SNAKES...ON THIS (ship's horn blows) BOAT!

Woody: We're going to need a bigger net.

Zack: Hey I ordered steaks not snakes!

Maya: Zack, truth or dare?
Zack: Uh, truth.
Maya: How many girls did you date before me?
Zack: DARE.

London: Hahaha! You should have seen your face. I was all like "menacing noise" and you were all like "scared reaction"! Hahaha!

London: Terrific. You dropped my phone in a crate full of- [looks at the label on the crate of snakes and gasps] DANGEROUS SNACKS!
Woody: How could snacks be dangerous?
London: They could be very high in sodium content.
Woody: It says snacks.

Woody: No but I got this painful floor burn!
London: Ooh! It looks exactly like Justin Bieber! Haha! Make it sing! Make it sing!

London: [As she and Woody enter a room with crates full of snakes in it] Why are you out of breath? We took the elevator.
Woody: We still had to walk down a mid-sized hallway. With a turn!

Cody: Six.
Zack: Six?
Cody: Six. Six is the answer to every question. How many boys did you date before me? Six. What size do you think I am? Six. How pretty and I? Six?
Zack: Wow, that really works!
Cody: It'll solve all your problems.

Bailey: [A couple minutes later] Cody, I'm so glad you want to have six kids.

Woody: Isn't couple's game night fun, honey?
London: Touch me again and I'll rip your arm off and beat you with it.
Zack: Why don't you just take your turn, London!
London: I will put my A down to make 'a'.
Woody: I will add onto your 'a' to make 'at'.
Zack: I will add onto your 'at' to make 'rat'.
Cody: [Puts a dozen letters down] I will add onto your 'rat' to make 'biostratographic'.
Zack: [Knocks the board onto the floor] Oh no! Tidal Wave!

Woody: [After London jumps out and scares him] London, that was unbelievebly cruel!
London: Why? It was just a little prank.
Woody: No, you obviously knew there was an elevator and didn't tell me!

Prom NightEdit

Ms. Tuttwiler: Hey, what are you guys looking at? (sees Moseby floating in the air) Marion?!?!?!?!
Moseby: EMMA!
Ms. Tutwiller: How dare you! ...I finally get a boyfriend and you send him into the stratosphere.

Moseby: (with his clothes ripped) I'm BACK! (the students laugh) QUIET! (pause) It might interest you to know, that after you set me adrift, I was struck by lightning! Forced to LAND by a military helicopter. And eventually rescued...by a particularly loathsome baboon. I'll spare you the rest of the details, because after that, it got REALLY nasty. (the students laugh more) You think that's funny? Well maybe you'll think this is funny. PROM...IS...CANCELLED! (the students gasp and Moseby folds his arms)

Addison: Bailey, I really need your advice.
Bailey: Vote for me for Prom Queen!
Addison: I meant about Woody.
Bailey: Woody should vote for me for Prom Queen too! (thumbs up)
Addison: I really wanted to come to prom with Woody, so what am I supposed to do when he walks in with his..... other woman?!
Bailey: Y'know what you're gonna do? You should march up to that woman, look her dead in the eyes and say
"Vote Bailey for Prom Queen!"

Graduation on DeckEdit

Zack and Cody: What do you mean you're not going to graduation?!

Cody: We're not just friends, or shipmates, we're a family.and we love each other

Zack: Goodbye seniors, goodbye class. High school you can-
Ms. Tutweiller: O-KAY! Thank you Zack!

Bailey: Mr and Mrs Martin, it's so nice to finally meet you I'm Bailey.
Carey: Nice to meet you too.
Kurt: Oh right, you're Cody's...Where are you guys now?
Carey: You know if you bothered to read Cody's emails you'd know that they're back together.
Kurt: I'm still on the one after Paris that was like twenty six pages. I like Zack's better it's short and to the point. 'Hi Dad, send money.'

Addison: Ooh! Do you want me to sign your yearbook?
Maya: Yeah sure.

nk you. It was a Monday, or was it a Tuesday? It was cloudy. You were wearing the most cutest little skirt. [walking away]

Maya: Great, I'm going to need a second yearbook. [follows Addison]
Bailey: London, will you sign my yearbook?
London: Of course. [takes out a stamp and stamps Bailey's yearbook]
Bailey: [reads her yearbook] I will never forget you. No matter how hard I've tried. London Tipton. [closes her yearbook] You know? I'm going to miss you making fun of me everyday.
London: Oh, don't worry. [takes out a CD] I made you a CD. [gives it to Bailey and hugs her]
Woody: [has his arms around Zack and Cody and begins to cry] I'm going to miss you guys so much.
Zack: You're coming with us to the Yankee game tonight.
Woody: I know but that's like for another four hours!
Ms. Tutweiller: [being dragged to the Sky Deck by Mr. Moseby] Marion, whatever this is I don't have time. I still have thirty kitty carriers to pack, and that's just the Siamese.
Mr. Moseby: Attention everyone, Ms. Tutweiller and I have an announcement to make.
Ms. Tutweiller: We do?
Mr. Moseby: I hope so. Emma, the more I thought about us being apart, the more I realized I wanted us to be together. Forever. Emma, [bends down on one knee and opens an engagement box] will you-
Ms. Tutweiller: YES! YES! YES! YES! [takes the ring, puts it on and kisses Mr. Moseby] Oh, I have to call my mother and tell her, "I TOLD YOU SO!"
London: Moseby, are you sure you thought this through?
Ms. Tutweiller: Shut up! [screams in delight and leaves]
London: So, I'm a high school graduate and you're engaged. Didn't see that coming.
Mr. Moseby: I know. I think next we're going to see one of Bailey's pigs fly by.
London: You know what, Moseby? I'm going to throw you the best wedding ever.
Mr. Moseby: Thank you very much. [hugs London]
London: And thank you for taking care of me all these years.
Mr. Moseby: You are welcome. I'm so proud of you for graduating high school, and so proud of the woman that you've become. Keep in touch, okay?
London: Don't worry. I've got you on speed dial. I'll call you whenever I have a problem. [walks away]
Mr. Moseby: [cellphone rings and he picks up] Hello?
London: [crying] I have a problem...I'm gonna miss you. [hugs Cody] Bye Zack. [hugs Zack] Bye Cody.
Cody: Uh, actually London I'm...gonna miss you.
Zack: I'm going to miss you too.
London: Well, it's little me off to Parii. [walks away]
Bailey: [walks to Cody] Promise me you'll come visit me at Yale?
Cody: I promise. I got an admissions guy I want to talk to.
Bailey: So this isn't goodbye.
Cody: I love you.
Bailey: I love you squared. [kisses Cody, hugs him and goes to Zack] Zack. [hugs him]
Zack: Still don't know what you see in him.
Bailey: [pats his arm and leaves]
Mr. Moseby: You know boys, I always thought if this ship was going to be destroyed, it'd be because of you two.
Zack: So did I. So did I.
Cody: We're going to miss you, Moseby.
Mr. Moseby: [puts both arms around Zack and Cody] You know I'd never thought I'd say this but...I'm going to miss you guys too.
Zack: So, where are you and the future ball and chain headed?
Mr. Moseby: [speaks in incoherent noises] I'm not really sure.
Cody: I don't think he wants to tell us.
Zack: Doesn't matter. We'll find him.
Mr. Moseby: [groans and runs away]
Cody: [goes upstairs with Zack] Well Zack, we've lived in a hotel, on a boat, what's next?
Zack: I don't know, but wherever we go we're taking that hot tub with us.
Cody: How are you going to swing that?
Zack: I slipped Frankie a twenty.
Cody: You take that from my wallet?
Zack: Actually I took a fifty. I just gave her twenty of it.

Honey. Bon voyage! I'm going to miss you