- Love is just lust in disguise, and lust fades, so you damn well better be with someone who can stand you.
- Marriage is the Jack Kevorkian of romance.
- Is it physically impossible to French-kiss a man who leaves the new roll of toilet paper resting on top of the empty cardboard roll? Does he not see it? DOES HE NOT *SEE* IT?
- Oh, Dot. Put out once in a while, your face won't be so tight.
- And you can take that bread and shove it up the tops of your legs!
- Rachel: You were our Fred and Ethel Mertz!
- Katie: Funny, we thought you were OUR Fred and Ethel Mertz.
- Katie: I want to go to Chow Funs.
- Ben: I thought we agreed we couldn't really talk at Chow Funs.
- Katie: I know.
- Ben: Are you saying Chow Funs because you can't face telling the kids? Because if that's why you're saying Chow Funs, don't say Chow Funs.
- Katie: That's not why I'm saying Chow Funs. Funs, I'm saying Chow Funs because we're an us. There's a history here, and histories don't happen overnight. In Mesopotamia of Ancient Troy, there are cities built on top of other cities. But I don't wan't another city, I like this city. I known what kind of mood you're in when you wake up by which eyebrow is higher, and you know I'm a little quiet in the morning and compensate accordingly, that's a dance you perfect over time. And it's hard, it's much harder than I thought it would be. But there's more good than bad and you don't just give up! And it's not for the sake of the children. But God, they're great kids, aren't they? And we made them, I mean think about that! It's like there were no people there, and then there were people and they grew, and I won't be able to say to some stranger Josh has your hands or remember how Erin threw up at the Lincoln Memorial and I'll try to relax. Let's face it, anybody is going to have traits that get on your nerves, I mean why shouldn't it be your annoying traits, and I know I'm no day at the beach, But do I have a good sense of direction so I can at least find the beach, which isn't a weakness of yours, it's a strength of mine. And God, your good friend and good friends are hard to find. Charlotte said that in Charlotte's Web and I love how you read that to Erin and you take on the voice of Wilbur the Pig with such dedication even when your bone is tired. That speaks volumes about character! And ultimately, isn't that what it comes down, too? What a person is made of? That girl in the pin helmet is still here 'bee boo bee boo' I didn't even know she existed until you and I'm afraid if you leave, I may never see her again, even though I said at times you beat her out of me, isn't that the paradox? Haven't we hit the essential paradox? Give and take, push and pull, the yen the yang. The best of times, the worst of times! I think Dickens said it best, 'He could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean'. But dosen't really apply here, does it? What I'm trying to say is, I'm saying Chow Funs. Because I love you.
- Ben: Did you hear that, kids? Mom wants to go to Chow Funs!
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