Episode 1: Gone in a FlashEdit
(Maurice is making a sundae)
- Maurice (Singing): Making my ice cream, Oh, sprinkle it on, (Julien grabs the sundae while Maurice is not looking) Now we add a cherry on top! (Julien grabs the cherry) Owwwwwwww!
- Julien: Uh, less sprinkles next time, okay Maurice?
- Maurice: I just can't take this!
- Julien: Rule number one: Do not question the king. Rule number two-- (Camera falls into Maurice's arms; They begin to fight)
- Julien:I said gimme! What part of Give or Me do you not understand?
- Maurice: I understood the me part, like, this was caught by ME!
Episode 2: LaunchtimeEdit
- Skipper: Commence Operation Hammerhead.
- Julien: Excuse me, Hammer whose head exactly? (Rico coughs up a hammer; Julien, Maurice and Mort run away screaming)
Episode 12: The HiddenEdit
Skipper: Pop quiz, troops. What can't we trust?
Kowalski: (flipping through his notebook) Three-day-old stir-fry mung beans.
Skipper: Right. What else can't we trust?
Private: (holding up a book on badgers) Badgers!
Skipper: (gives Private a questionable look)
Private:...Maybe that's just me.
Episode 15: All Choked UpEdit
Mort: Ooooh, it smells like the circus!
Episode 18: Miracle On IceEdit
- Skipper (After the rat king jumps on Kowalski while playing hockey ;concerned): Kowalski, speak to me man!
- Kowalski (lying on ground): Just a... knock on the old... (twitches) ...monkey bus...!
- Skipper (confused): Kowalski...?
- Kowalski (stumbling on ice): No need to paint! I'm as flopsy-faced as ever!
- Skipper (after Kowalski gets up and picks up hockey stick): I...don't think you're fit for duty...
- Kowalski (continuing to stumble): Flibertigibit, man! I'm as juxtaposed as the next hamburger! (slips and falls on his belly)
- Private (after he and Skipper also get hurt): Skipper, maybe it's time to admit we've lost.
- Kowalski (stumbling in the backgound): The moo-cow may have a chocolate marshmallow!
(Julian wins the hockey game, defeating the sewer rats, Rico, Private and Skipper looked shocked; Kowalski stumbles past them)
- Kowalski: Well, I'll be a bicycle-cream-cone!
Episode 23: Misfortune CookieEdit
- Julien: And finally, it's the trampling by a thousand rhinos!
- Rico (rhino tramples him): (yelps)
- Julien: Uh,slight glitch, though, we only have one rhino. So you have to do it a thousand times.
- Rico: (gets trampled by rhino again)
(Some time later)
- Julien: Flightless bird, you have completed the three trials! By the way, sorry about the extra rhino tramplings. I lost count.
- Rico': (scatting)
- Duck': Look out! (lands on Rico's face with his rear)
Episode 35: I was a Penguin ZombieEdit
- Private: (hears Skipper wheeze and cough, followed by a bucket being kicked) Skipper's gone? It...it...it can't be! (jumps off) What'll we do?
- Kowalski: We will honor him the way he would've wanted. By soldiering on like men. (all three glare at the audience)
(Moment later, in their HQ, all three are bawling) (Kowalski is hugging Private while Rico spits out a picture of Skipper)
- Rico: Why?! Why?! WHYYYYY?!
Episode 48: Dr. Blowhole's RevengeEdit
- Julien (after Dr. Blowhole and he stopped laughing maniacally): Quetion: why are we laughing?
- Dr. Blowhole: Question: how did the prisoner escape?! (Julien leaps on him)
- Julien: Prisoner escaped?! Is he dangerous?
- Dr. Blowhole (annoyed): No, and apparently, he isn't very bright.
- Dr Blowhole: You'll appreciate this Kowalski. I've installed a lair Theatre System, High definition with surround sound. Exre-e-emely spendy.
- Kowalski: (slightly angry) Oh, why do the bad guys always get the good stuff?
- Dr. Blowhole: I am so glad you could all join me to witness history. I am, of course, especially pleased that my fli-i-i-ghtless foes graced us with their presence.
- Skipper (annoyed): Wouldn't miss it for the world.
- Private: There's nothing good on Tely tonight anyway.
- Dr. Blowhole (hovering over Private): Well, Private, here's a little show I whipped up. It's called:
- Computer Voice: Ring of Fire.
- Dr. Blowhole: It is fitting that I returned to the very aqua theater where I performed trickks for the duller humans. Oh, how it made me bitter.
- Private: Sorry. Did he say "bitter" or "better"?
- Skipper: Hard to say; the sound really bounces around in here.
- Kowalski: No, that would be the high ceilings.
- Dr. Blowhole: My humiliation in the Ring of Fire became my inspiration. In the Frozen North, we've constructed a vast circle of certainly surprising devices that tap into the heat of the Earth's core. (four drill-like devices break through the ice, glowing)
- Skipper: Oh, come on. (Dr. Blowhole zooms over to Skipper)
- Dr. Blowhole: Do you mind?! I'm just getting to the good part! It's re-e-ealy quite a shocker.
- Skipper: It's so obvious. Humiliated by the humans-
- Private: -activate the Ring of Fire-
- Kowalski: -melt the Arctic-
- Skipper: Well, how did we do, punk?
- Dr. Blowhole (slightly surprised): You're... in the ball park.
Episode 28: Hot IceEdit
(Skipper is discussing the value of the diamond necklace.)
Skipper: Yes, the kind of riches that turns men into animals and animals into…Kowalski what’s more savage than animals?
Kowalski: Hmmm… malfunctioning garbage disposals?
Skipper: C’mon you’re not even trying.
Episode 35: The Officer X FactorEdit
Kowalski: “Of course! It’s the salt. The sodium granules released from the pretzel cart into the convective cloud layer must have sparked a freezing nucleation reaction and BOOM! Instant rain.”
Episode 36: Brain DrainEdit
Skipper: So we’re stuck with the stupid Kowalski, well maybe it’s a good thing. I mean we were all getting tired of his big high, fleeting words like recalcitrant, right? I mean, what is that? Recalcitrant. Do I like recalcitrant to you?
Rico: Uh huh.
Kowalski: Oh YEAH! Up high!
Episode 46: All Tied Up with a BoaEdit
Skipper: Boys! Butter me up.
Kowalski: Your leadership is impeccable and your musk is an intoxicating blend of danger and… ugh.”
(Skipper slaps Kowalski)
(Kowalski sees the tray of butter and realizes what Skipper was referring to.)
Episode 49: The Red SquirrelEdit
- Julien (after being submerged in toy dolls): I confess to everything! My father was not a talking water cycle! (is submerged again) I cheat at whistling! (makes raspberries)
- Buck Rockgut: These snitches don't know anything. They're just a bunch of "small potatoes."
- King Julien: It's true! I am also secretly a potato. OK, that one was a lie. I just wanted the ropes off, you know?
- Skipper: (after realizing Buck Rockgut was crazy) Well, maybe we left our paranoia caps on a little too long.
- Private: I do feel bad for the old guy. He's wasted decades chasing an enemy that probably doesn't even exist. (the penguins glide on their stomachs back to the zoo; a telescope appears out of a bush and reveals an underground lair)
- Red Squirrel: (pushing the record button on a tape recorder) Red Squirrel's log. Special Agent Rockgut has been dispos-sed of. (he turns his chair around) Time to get to work. (he laughs meniacally and leaps toward a metal door, but crashes into it) Stupid eyepatch.
Episode 50: It's About TimeEdit
- Kowalski: Private/Skipper, you've got to stop me!!
- Private: (in response to first future Kowalski) OK. Kowalski? Stop, please.
- Skipper: (in response to second future Kowalski) There, you're stopped.
- Kowalski: No, not me me...that me!
- Skipper and Private: There's two of you?
- Skipper: (kneeling down at the statue of librety sunken in snow one shavings) Kowalski, you maniac! You did it. (pounding on the floor) You finally did it.
- Kowalski: Yeah, but you got to admit, these are pretty good snow cones. (picking up snow cone offering to skipper)
- Skipper: Yeah, totally worth it. (licking on snow cone)
Episode 61: Arch-EnemyEdit
Skipper: One mistake little friend, we are like the three musketeers, except there are four of us and we’re birds and in no way French, but the same team mentality applies.
Dale: Couldn't care less.
- Private: Umm skipper dosent violence led to more violence?
- Skipper: I know private its a win win.