- Directed by Roger Corman. Written by Charles B. Griffith.
- Seymour Krelboyne: Did you call me, Mr. Mushnick?
- Gravis Mushnick: No, I was calling John D. Rockefeller for to make a loan on my Rolls Royce!
- Seymour Krelboyne: Sorry I said it.
- Burson Fouch: My name is Burson Fouch.
- Gravis Mushnick: Excellent. I am Gravis Mushnick.
- Burson Fouch: Oh, that's a good one.
- [Fouch purchases half a dozen carnations.]
- Gravis Mushnick: I'll wrap them for you.
- Burson Fouch: No, that's all right. I'll eat 'em here.
- Audrey Fulquard: Why don't you give him a chance to resurrect himself?
- Gravis Mushnick: I give him chance to quit!
- Seymour Krelboyne: I ain't gonna quit!
- Gravis Mushnick: You're a brave boy. You're fired.
- Burson Fouch: I remember in one flower shop there was a whole wall covered with poison ivy, and people came from miles around to look at that wall — and they stayed to buy.
- Gravis Mushnick: And the owner got rich?
- Burson Fouch: No. He scratched himself to death in an insane asylum.
- Siddie Shiva: Oh! That was my cousin Harry!
- Det. Sgt. Joe Fink: We just want to ask you a few questions.
- Gravis Mushnick: I didn't do it.
- Det. Frank Stoolie: Do what?
- Gravis Mushnick: Whatever.
- Audery II: Feed Me!
- Seymour Krelboyne: Take it easy,dracula! what do ya think i'm carryin'-my dirty landury?
- The funniest picture this year!
- The store with more.
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