- The next time you see sky, it'll be over another town. The next time you take a test, it'll be in some other school. Our parents, they want the bestest stuff for us. But right now they gotta do what's right for them, 'cause it's their time. Their time, up there. Down here it's our time. It's our time down here. That's all over the second we ride up Troy's bucket.
- Never say that, Andi. Goonies never say die!
- Pinchers of Peril! Hey guys, I'm saved by my Pinchers of Peril!
- Fifty Dollar Bill!!!
- Holy S-H-I-T!
- That's what I said, booby traps!
- I am going to hit you all so hard that when you wake up, your clothes will be out of style!
- Why couldn't I have a little sister? A sister instead of that!
- Your looks are kinda pretty, when your face isn't screwing it up.
- Yeah, but you know what? [holds up a coin] This one, this one right here... this was my dream, my wish. And it didn't come true. So I'm taking it back. I'm taking them all back.
- What is this? A nuclear Saturday or something? Come on, guys. This is our last weekend together. Our last Goonie weekend. We gotta be going out in style. Cruising the coast, sniffing some lace, downing the brews, but noooo! One older brother had to go and screw it up. Flunking your driver's test? I don't know what to do with you kid.
- Jerk Alert!
- You know you guys are self-destructive. There's a funny farm somewhere and it's got your names written all over it. I'm gettin' outta here. I'm... I smell ice cream!
- I like the dark. I love the dark. But I hate nature. I hate nature!
- Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
- Shove it in harder!!!
- I hit a wrong note. I'm not Liberace you know!
- Does Brand wear braces?
- Can I take piano lessons?
- Brand, What happened to your braces?
- I should've let him look at my body! Don't I have a beautiful body? Don't I have a beautiful body?
- Next time kiss with your eyes open. It's a whole different experience!
- This is ridiculous. It's crazy. I feel like i'm babysitting, except I'm not getting paid.
- Next time you kiss him, do it with your eyes open. It's a whole different experience.
- I lost my glasses.
- Your voice is kind of nice when your mouth isn't screwing it up.
- Martin Sheen? That's President Kennedy, you idiot!
- Brand, God put that rock there for a purpose... and, um... I'm not so sure you should, um... move it...
- Chunk: It was the most amazing thing I ever saw!
- Mikey: More amazing than the time Michael Jackson came over to your house to use the bathroom?
- Brand: More amazing than the time you saved those old people from that nursing home fire, right?
- Mouth: Yeah, and I bet it was even more amazing than the time you ate your weight in Godfather's pizza.
- Chunk: Okay, Brand, Michael Jackson didn't come over to my house to use the bathroom. But his sister did!
- Data: Well, let me tell you what. That's where we're moving when we lose our house tomorrow.
- Mikey: Shut up about that stuff! It'll never happen! My dad will fix it.
- Brand: Yeah, sure he will... if he gets his next 400 paychecks by tomorrow afternoon.
- Mrs. Walsh: Pants and shirts are in the second. Just throw them all into cardboard boxes. Forget the suitcases. Clark, can you translate all of that?
- Mouth: Why certainly, Mrs. Walsh.
- Mrs. Walsh: That's wonderful.
- Mouth: [to Rosalita in Spanish] The marijuana goes in the top drawer. The cocaine and speed in the second. The heroin in the bottom. Always separate the drugs.
- Mrs. Walsh: Now Rosalita, this is the attic. Mr. Walsh doesn't like anybody up here, ever. That's why it's always open.
- Mouth: [to Rosalita in Spanish] Never go up there. It's filled with Mr. Walsh's sexual torture devices.
- Mrs. Walsh: This is my supply closet. You'll find everything you need, brooms, dustpans, insect spray. I would really like the house clean when they tear it down. Clark, can you translate?
- Mouth: [to Rosalita in Spanish] If you do a bad job you'll be locked in here with the cockroaches, for two weeks without food and water.
- Mrs. Walsh: Okay, Rosie? Okay? You're going to be very happy here. Come on, Clark, we've got much more to do. You're so fluent in languages!
- Rosalita: [in Spanish] My God I'm in a crazy house!
- Mr. Perkins: Hello, little guys. I'm Mr. Perkins, Troy's father.
- Data: We know who Troy is, he's such a cheap guy.
- Brand: My dad's not home Mr. Perkins.
- Mr. Perkins: Is your mommy here?
- Brand: [sarcastic tone] No sir, she's actually down at the market buying Pampers for all us kids.
- Mr. Perkins: [faked laughter] Papers, Joe. You can give these papers to your father to read through and sign. We'll be by to pick them up in the morning.
- Brand: Thank you.
- Mr. Perkins: Thank you.
- Chunk: Hello, sheriff. I'm at the Lighthouse Lounge, and I want to report, well, a murder.
- Sheriff: Wait a minute, wait a minute, just hold on here. Is that you again, Lawrence?
- Chunk: Sheriff, look, this time I'm telling you the truth. I'm locked inside the Fratellis' basement with this guy.
- Sheriff: Like the time you told me about the 50 Iranian terrorists who took over all the Sizzler Steakhouses in the city?
- Chunk: [to Sloth] Sloth, get back here. Hold on. Sloth, what are you doing?
- Sheriff: Just like that last prank about all those little creatures that multiply when you throw water on them?
- [The Goonies have entered a cave that turns out to be the bottom of the local wishing well, and Mouth is perusing the coins]
- Mouth: George Washington... Abraham Lincoln... Uh, Martin Sheen...
- Stef: Martin Sheen?! That's President Kennedy, you idiot!
- Mouth: Yeah? Well, He played Kennedy one time!
- Stef: It's nice to see you're using your brain!
- Mouth: Well, at least I have a brain!
- Francis: Tell us everything! Everything!
- Chunk: Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog...
- Chunk: Then my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then once during lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done — I mixed all this fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then... then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa — and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
- Jake gives Chunk a pat on the shoulder as he likes all the stories and thinking Chunk is not such a goody two-shoes.
- Jake Fratelli: I'm beginning to like this kid, Ma!
- Ma Fratelli: Hit puree!
- Andi: Oh my God, I hit the wrong key! I made a mistake!
- Mikey: Andi, it is OK to make mistakes. We all do. Just do not make any more.
- Andy: I can't tell... if it's an "A sharp" or if it's a "B flat"!
- Mikey: Heh, if you hit the wrong note, we'll all "B flat!"
- Mikey: Pee break! Who's gotta go?
- [they all raise their hands]
- Mikey: Okay, this is the little boys' room, and that cave over there is the little girls' room
- [Brand enters a third cave]
- Mikey: Brand, where are you going?
- Brand: This is the "men's room".
- [Mouth and Data look at each other, smile, and follow Brand into the cave]
- Mikey: Hi Willie. Oh, I'm Mike Walsh. You've been expecting me, haven't you? Well I made it. I beat you. I got here in one piece... so far.
- [lifts up Willie's patch, exposing bare bone rather than an eye socket] So... that's why they call you "One-Eyed Willie"... One-Eyed Willie... [takes a breath from his inhaler] We have a lot in common, huh, Willie? You know something, Willie? You're the first Goonie.
- Mikey realizes the others have boarded the ship
- Mikey: Yo. Hi guys. How's it going? This is Willie... One-Eyed Willie. Say hi, Willie. Those are my friends... the Goonies. How long have you guys been standing there?
- Brand: Long enough, Mikey. Long enough.
- Mikey: Well, what are you guys waiting for, an invitation? Load up!
- Goonies grab gold doubloons, pearl necklaces and expensive jewelry. Data is about to take gold coins from a scale but Mikey slaps his hand away, since that is booby-trapped.
- Mikey: Except for that. That is Willie's.
- Andi: Brand is being so sweet to me.
- Stef: Oh come on COME ON. Where are you? YOU are in the clouds and WE are in a basement!
- They call themselves "The Goonies." The secret caves. The old lighthouse. The lost map. The treacherous traps. The hidden treasure. And Sloth... Join the adventure.
- The pirates map, The villainous crooks, The underground caverns, The booby traps, the skeletons, The monster, the lost treasure, and the magic that is... THE GOONIES
- It's excitement all the way as Steven Spielberg and Richard Donner, the makers of 'Indiana Jones', 'Gremlins' and 'Superman', combine forces to create the Family Adventure of the year!
- Sean Astin — Mikey Walsh
- Josh Brolin — Brandon "Brand" Walsh
- Jeff Cohen — Lawrence "Chunk" Cohen
- Corey Feldman — Clark "Mouth" Devereaux
- Kerri Green — Andrea "Andy" Carmichael
- Martha Plimpton — Stephanie "Stef" Steinbrenner
- Jonathan Ke Quan — Richard "Data" Wang
- John Matuszak— Sloth
- Anne Ramsey — Ma Fratelli
- Joe Pantoliano — Francis Fratelli
- Robert Davi — Jake Fratelli
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