- Sir Gerald Moore: I was at dinner last evening, and halfway through the pudding, this four-year-old child came alone, dragging a little toy cart. And on the cart was a fresh turd. Her own, I suppose. The parents just shook their heads and smiled. I've made a big investment in you, Peter. Time and money, and it's not working. Now, I could just shake my head and smile. But in my house, when a turd appears, we throw it out. We dispose of it. We flush it away. We don't put it on the table and call it caviar.
- Sherman McCoy: Remember guys, a frantic salesman is a dead salesman!
- Judge Leonard White: Let me tell you what justice is. Justice is the law. And the law is man's feeble attempt to lay down the principles of decency. Decency! And decency isn't a deal, it's not a contract or a hustle or an angle! Decency... decency is what your grandmother taught you. It's in your bones!
- If you're going to live in a whorehouse, there's only one thing you can do: be the best damn whore around.
- Narrating: A $600 million bond, to which he stood to get $1.8 million on commission, which would retire the mortgage on his Park Avenue co-op. For Sherman McCoy, that was all in a day's work.
- Peter Fallow: Was it true that Aaron Lamb was an honor student at Riddell High School?
- Teacher: Mr. Fallow, the standards of our school are much different than other schools. We are just focused on packing in the kids from Bronx and Harlem and keeping them off the streets. At Riddell High, an honor student is anyone who comes to class and does not piss on the teacher.
- Peter Fallow: So what about Aaron Lamb?
- Teacher: Well, I saw him in class a couple of times, and he never tried to urinate on me...so he qualifies as a honor student in our book.
- Peter Fallow: Caroline, you devil.
- Caroline Heftshank: Peter, you pig!
- Take one Wall Street tycoon, his Fifth Avenue mistress, a reporter hungry for fame, and make the wrong turn in the Bronx... then sit back and watch the sparks fly.
- An outrageous story about greed, lust vanity in America.