Talk:Dharma & Greg
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- Greg: Were you this sarcastic before we met or is this something I have done?
- Dharma: A little you, a little your mother.
- [Dharma and Greg are having an argument]
- Dharma: [holding an ice cube] Oh, look! I found your mother's heart!
- Greg:: Melt it and we'll have your father's brain.
- Kitty: I had to deal with a horrible mother-in-law! Do you know what that's like?
- [awkward pause]
- Dharma: I can imagine.
- Dharma: Your mother is a lusty volcano waiting to erupt!
- Greg: Okay, we have to establish some ground rules here. We never use the words 'mother,' 'lusty' and 'erupt' in the same sentence.
- Kitty: And what do we think of the color?
- Dharma: Apparently, 'we' don't like it even though 'we' picked it out.
- [before a baseball game]
- Abby: [trying to find out whether Greg is wearing an athletic supporter] Are you wearing anything to protect your genitals?
- Dharma: You were the one who taught me to question authority.
- Larry: [exasperated] I didn't mean me, I meant Nixon!
- Kitty: You want to save the duck, you need to save the lake. You want to save the lake, you need to raise money. You want to raise money, you need to find some ninny to be man of the year.
- [Dharma is worried Greg will die on his business trip. She's on the phone with him and he is trying to reassure her that he is all right]
- Dharma: How do you know you're not in heaven?
- [pause]
- Greg:: Because Pete's here.
- [Kitty is trying to get someone on the phone to do what she wants]
- Kitty: Look out the window; what is the name on the building?
- [pause]
- Kitty: Yes, that Montgomery.
I don't know how to add this but this is from Season 3, Episode 1:
Dharma: Whatcha doin’?
Greg: Reading all your books on spiritual enlightenment.
Dharma: Really?
Greg: This stuff is incredible!
Do you realize these guys spent most of their lives figuring out who they are and what their true purpose was?
Dharma: Yeah, it’s pretty amazing isn’t it?
Greg: Unbelievable! I mean, if you buckle down, it shouldn’t take more than a month!
Dharma: Did you really read all these books?
Greg: I skimmed.
I got the gist!
Walden: Simplify.
Tibetan Book of the Dead: We’re all going to die.
Be Here Now: Well, -- du-uh! And next I’m going to read the Bible.
Dharma: Oh… Well, -- let me save you some trouble: First half: don’t mess with God; second half: Be nice to people.
Greg: (grateful) Thank you. That’s a couple of days right there.
Dharma: I think I need some coffee.
Season 3, Episode 1 "One Flew Over the Lawyer's Desk" (originally aired on September 21, 1999)