- [Lina believes the tabloid reports of a romance between her and Don] Lina, there is nothing between us. There's never been anything between us. Just air.
- [to Kathy in her car after the movie premiere] Fear not, sweet lady! I will not molest you. I am but a humble jester. And you. You are TOO far above me. Farewell, Ethel Barrymore! I must tear myself from your side. [Kathy then laughs hysterically as Don's suit rips while he gets out of her car]
- You mean it's gonna say up on the screen that I don't talk and sing for myself?...They can't do that!...They can't make a fool out of Lina Lamont. They can't make a laughingstock out of Lina Lamont. What do they think I am, dumb or something? Why I make more money than--than--than Calvin Coolidge! Put together!
- If we bring a little joy into your humdrum lives, it makes us feel as though our hard work ain't been in vain for nothin'.
- I ain't people, I am a ... "shimmering glowing star in the cinema firm-a-mint" It says so - right here!
- [singing] Moses supposes his toeses are roses
But Moses supposes erroneously
Moses he knowses his toeses aren't roses
As Moses supposes his toeses to be.
- [on Lina Lamont] She can't act, she can't sing, and she can't dance - the Triple Threat.
- [after Dexter says Talking Pictures will never amount to a thing] That's what they said about the "Horseless Carriage".
- You might as well know. I'm the one who hit Miss Lamont with a cake. [looks at Don angrily] Believe me, it was meant for Mr. Lockwood.
- R.F. Simpson: Don, it'll be a sensation! "Lamont and Lockwood: they talk!"
- Lina Lamont: [with a voice to peel paint] Well of course we talk. Don't everybody?
- [Simpson, Don, and Cosmo look back at Lina, worried.]
- [After Don Lockwood's latest film is jeered by test audiences]
- Don Lockwood: I'm through, fellas.
- Kathy Selden: Don, you're not through!
- Cosmo Brown: Why of course not. Why, with your looks and figure, you could drive an ice wagon or shine shoes!
- Kathy Selden: Block hats!
- Cosmo Brown: Sell pencils!
- Kathy Selden: Dig ditches!
- Cosmo Brown: Or worse still, go back to vaudeville.
- Cosmo Brown: The price of fame. You've got the glory, you gotta take the little heartaches that go with it. Now look at me: I've got no fame, I've got no glory, I've got no big mansions, I've got no money! But I've got - what have I got?
- Don Lockwood: I don't know, what have you got?
- Cosmo Brown: I gotta get out of here.
- Rod: Lina, you're a beautiful woman. Audiences think you've got a voice to match. The studio's gotta keep their stars from looking ridiculous at any cost.
- Cosmo Brown: Nobody's got that much money.