Second Doctor

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This page is a collection of quotations from the era of the second official incarnation of The Doctor from the BBC science fiction television programme Doctor Who, during which the role of the Second Doctor was played by Patrick Troughton. As Doctor Who stories in other media (such as books, audio plays, etc) are the subject of intense debate as regarding their place in the series' overall canon, these quotations are taken entirely from episodes broadcast on television.

Recurring Phrases

There are some corners of the universe which have bred the most terrible things. Things which act against everything we believe in. They must be fought.

The Second Doctor’s catch phrases:

When I say run, run. ...RUN!
Butterfingers.
Oh, my giddy aunt!
Oh my word!
I don't like it.
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Season 4

The Power of the Daleks [4.3]

(5 November - 10 December 1966) —although this serial marked the first appearance of the Second Doctor, it was the third serial of the fourth season.
The Doctor [The Second Doctor's first words]: (groaning and moaning) Slower! SLOWER! Concentrate on one thing! ONE THING!
[The Doctor explains his regeneration.]
Ben: The Doctor always wore this. If you are him it should fit... That settles it!
The Doctor: I'd like to see a butterfly fit into a chrysalis case after it spreads its wings.
Polly: Then you did change."
The Doctor: Life depends on change, and renewal.
Ben: Oh, that's it, you've been renewed, have you?"
The Doctor: Renewed? Have I? That's it, I've been renewed. It's part of the TARDIS. Without it I couldn't survive.
Dalek: (steadily increasing) With static power, the Daleks will be twice as... (beat, lower voice) useful.
The Doctor: It can do many things, Lesterson. But the thing it does most efficiently is exterminate human beings.

The Highlanders [4.4]

(17 December 1966 - 7 January 1967)
[The Doctor is pretending to be a German doctor.]
The Doctor: You suffer from headaches?
Perkins: No, I don't
[The Doctor bangs his head on the table.]
The Doctor: Oh, dear. No headaches?
Perkins: Well... that...
[The Doctor bangs his head on the table again.]
The Doctor: Oh, dear. You call me a liar?

The Underwater Menace [4.5]

(14 January 1967 - 4 February 1967)
The Doctor: Just one small question: Why do you want to blow up the world?
Zaroff: Why? You, a scientist, ask me why? The achievement, my dear Doctor. The destruction of the world. The scientist's dream of supreme power!
The Doctor: Amazing. The professor leads the field in scientific discoveries. What a fantastic conception, to control the world from a test tube.
Damon: That's right.
The Doctor: Well, two can play at that game. Have you ever seen this? (The Doctor picks up two test tubes and pours one into the other, which releases a gas enabling the Doctor to escape.)
Zaroff: NUFFINK IN ZE VORLD CAN STOP ME NOW!
The Doctor: Zaroff, I think you ought to know the sea has broken through and is about to overwhelm us here.
Zaroff: Don't listen to him. The man lies.
The Doctor: Then perhaps the distant roaring that we can hear is just the goddess Amdo with indigestion.

The Moonbase [4.6]

(11 February - 4 March 1967)
The Doctor: This unit automatically controls the pulse, the temperature and the breathing.
Polly: A sort of electronic doctor.
The Doctor: Yes. Almost got striped trousers!
[A delirious Jamie spots a Cyberman.]
Jamie: It's you! The Phantom Piper!
The Doctor: There are some corners of the universe which have bred the most terrible things. Things which act against everything we believe in. They must be fought.
The Doctor: I simply don't understand it.
Polly: Doctor, it wouldn't, I mean it couldn't possibly have anything to do with Lister, could it?
The Doctor: Lister?
Polly: Well, I mean, you did say that you took your degree in Glasgow in 1888. It does seem an awful long time from now, 2070 or whatever it is.
The Doctor: Polly, are you suggesting that I'm not competent to carry out these tests?
Polly: Oh, no. No, no, no, no. I was just wondering if there was anything that Joseph Lister didn't know in 1888 that might possibly help you now.
The Doctor: Shh! Somebody's coming. It's Mister Hobson, out for blood. Ours. Look busy. Quick!

The Faceless Ones [4.8]

(8 April - 13 May 1967)
Jamie [seeing an aeroplane at Gatwick Airport]: Ooh, it's a flyin' beastie!
Jamie What's a passport?
The Doctor Some sort of official mambo jambo.
The Doctor Well, in view of the facts that I’ve already presented - the ray gun, this pen and one or two other things - I think we’re dealing with people who are not from this planet.

The Evil of the Daleks [4.9]

(20 May - 1 July 1967)
The Doctor: I am not a student of human nature. I am a professor of a far wider academy of which human nature is merely a part.
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Season 5

The Tomb of the Cybermen [5.1]

(2 September - 23 September 1967)
The Doctor: You look very nice in that dress, Victoria.
Victoria: Thank you. Don't you think it's a bit...
The Doctor: A bit short? Oh, I shouldn't worry about that. Look at Jamie's.
Eric Klieg: Doctor, you seem to be very familiar with this place.
The Doctor: Oh no, not really, um, it's all based on symbolic logic, the same as you use in computers. The opening mechanism to this door, an or-gate you call it.
Eric Klieg: Yes yes, I can see that, but how did you know in the first place?
The Doctor: Oh, I used my own special technique.
Eric Klieg: Oh really Doctor, and may we know what that is?
The Doctor: Keeping my eyes open and my mouth shut.
[Toberman blocks the Doctor's path with his hand]
Jamie: Hey, let the Doctor pass or I'll -
[Toberman grips the Doctor's shirt roughly]
Jamie: Yes, well, let the Doctor pass.
The Doctor: Are you happy with us, Victoria?
Victoria: Yes, I am. At least, I would be if my father were here.
The Doctor: Yes, I know, I know.
Victoria: I wonder what he would have thought if he could see me now.
The Doctor: You miss him very much, don't you?
Victoria: It's only when I close my eyes. I can still see him standing there, before those horrible Dalek creatures came to the house. He was a very kind man, I shall never forget him. Never.
The Doctor: No, of course you won't. But, you know, the memory of him won't always be a sad one.
Victoria: I think it will. You can't understand, being so ancient.
The Doctor: Eh?
Victoria: I mean old.
The Doctor: Oh.
Victoria: You probably can't remember your family.
The Doctor: Oh yes, I can when I want to. And that's the point, really. I have to really want to, to bring them back in front of my eyes. The rest of the time they... they sleep in my mind and I forget. And so will you. Oh yes, you will. You'll find there's so much else to think about. To remember. Our lives are different to anybody else's. That's the exciting thing, that nobody in the universe can do what we're doing.
The Doctor: Don't you see what this is going to mean to all the people who come to serve Klieg the all powerful? Why, no country, no person would dare to have a single thought that was not your own. Eric Klieg's own conception of the, of the way of life!
Eric Klieg: Brilliant! Yes, yes, you're right. Master of the world.
The Doctor: Well now I know you're mad, I just wanted to make sure.
Captain Hopper: Well, I hope they know what they're doing. I've been down there once and I don't reckon to go again.
Victoria: That's all right, Captain. It's comforting to know that we have your superior strength to call on, should we need it.
The Cyber Controller: We will survive.
The Cyber Controller: You belong to us. You shall be like us.
The Professor: How did you know we would release you? You could have remained frozen forever.
The Cyber Controller: The humanoid mind. You are inquisitive.
The Doctor: Ah, I see. A trap. A very special sort of trap too.
The Professor: What do you mean special trap?
The Doctor: They wanted superior intellects. That's why they made the trap so complicated!
The Cyber Controller: We knew that somebody like you would come to our planet someday.
The Doctor: Yes. We've done exactly as you calculated, haven't we?
The Cyber Controller: Now you belong to us.
[The Doctor on disabling the Cybermats]
The Doctor: The power cable generated an electrical field and confused their tiny metal minds. You might almost say they've had a complete metal breakdown.
[Jamie groans]
The Doctor: Oh I'm so sorry, Jamie.
The Doctor: Jamie, I hope you made those ropes secure.
Jamie: Oh, the King of the Beasties himself couldnae get out of that one.
[The Cyberman Controller bursts free from Jamie's impromptu restraints]
The Doctor: Jamie, remind me to give you a lesson in tying knots, sometime.
The Doctor: The best thing about a machine that makes sense is you can very easily make it turn out nonsense.

The Abominable Snowmen [5.2]

(30 September - 4 November 1967)
[The Doctor and Jamie are faced with an inactive Yeti.]
Jamie: Have you thought up some clever plan, Doctor?
The Doctor: Yes, Jamie, I believe I have.
Jamie: What are you going to do?
The Doctor: Bung a rock at it.

The Ice Warriors [5.3]

(11 November - 16 December 1967)
Announcement: Red state emergency. Evacuation phase three. Phase three evacuate. Transport section leaders report now. Phase three evacuation.
The Doctor: Something's wrong.
Victoria: It seems safe enough.
(A woman walks towards them.)
The Doctor: We're discovered.
(She pins labels on the travellers.)
The Doctor: Oh, thank you.
Jamie: Thank you. Excuse me, miss, I'm Jamie McCrimmon, do you think you could tell us where we are?
(The woman walks away.)
The Doctor: She doesn't want to know, Jamie.
Victoria: Hey, this says we're on evacuation flight seven.
The Doctor: That's rather inhospitable. We've only just arrived.
Jamie: Hey, and this tag, it says I'm a scavenger. And yours does too! Here, we're not beggars.
The Doctor: Hush, Jamie.
Victoria: What is it Doctor?
(The Doctor listens at a door.)
The Doctor: It sounds like electronic machinery. Like a computer. But there's something wrong with its pitch.
Victoria: Oh, no. Now look, it might be dangerous. Now let's leave it.
The Doctor: No.
Victoria: Doctor.
The Doctor: [Smiles mischievously] Let's go in!
The Doctor: In 2 minutes 38 seconds, you're going to have an almighty explosion! The readings say so!
Clent: Well how can you possibly know that? I haven't even -- I haven't even processed them through the computer yet!
The Doctor: I don't need a computer.
[After handing out instructions and averting the disaster]
The Doctor: Yes, that should hold it steady. It's not a perfect job, mind you. You ought to get an expert in, you know.
Clent: How did you -- it was all a bluff, wasn't it, that 2 minutes 38 seconds to danger.
The Doctor: Oh no, it was near enough correct. Give or take a second.
Clent: Rubbish.
The Doctor: Check it on your precious computer then.
Clent: Miss Garrett, do so.
Garret [reads to computer]: Ioniser fall rate, 7 2.4. Ion compensator, minus 1 7 degrees. Ion flow rate, 1 3 7 9. Assessment please.
Computer: Immediate emergency. In two minutes thirty seven seconds, the reactor will explode.
The Doctor: Well, a second out. We can't all be perfect.
Jamie: Victoria?
Victoria: What?
Jamie: Did you see how those lassies were dressed?
Victoria: Yes, I did. And trust you to think of something like that.
Jamie: Well, I couldn't help thinking about it.
Victoria: Well, I think it's disgusting, wearing that kind of… thing.
Jamie: Oh, aye, so it is, so it is. You, eh, you don't see yourself dressed like that then?
Victoria: Jamie!
Jamie: Oh, I'm sorry. It was, eh, just an idea.
Victoria: We will now change the subject, please.
Computer: However, the suspected presence of an alien spacecraft must be investigated, in case of potentially fissionable material.
Jamie: Spacecraft! Hey, do you reckon that's where the warrior's gone back to?
The Doctor: Well he didn't come by Shetland Pony, Jamie.

The Enemy of the World [5.4]

(23 December 1967 - 27 January 1968)
Victoria: Perhaps we've landed in a world of mad men!
Doctor: They're human beings, if that's what you mean. Indulging their favorite pastime of trying to destroy each other.
Astrid: I suggested that we meet under a disused jetty by the river.
Doctor: Disused Yeti?
The Doctor: People spend all their time making nice things and then other people come along and break them!
Jamie: You must have been a nasty little boy.
Benik: Oh, I was. But I had a very enjoyable childhood.

The Wheel in Space [5.7]

(27 April - 1 June 1968)
The Doctor: Logic, my dear Zoe, merely enables one to be wrong with authority.
The Doctor: I suppose you've come for me?
Cyberman 1: You know our ways.
The Doctor: Yes, I hoped you realised somebody did. I imagine you have orders to destroy me?
Cyberman 1: Yes.
The Doctor: Tell me one thing, why did you order Duggan to destroy radio communication with the Earth? After all, that is why you want possession of the wheel, isn't it?
Cyberman 1: You know our ways.
The Doctor: That doesn't answer my question.
Cyberman 2: He was instructed to destroy only the transmitting complex.
The Doctor: Oh, I see, how interesting, yes, of course. And presumably your large space-ship holds your invasion fleet, and the smaller ships can only enter the planet's atmosphere by homing on a radio beam.
Cyberman 1: You know our ways. You must be destroyed.
The Doctor: Yes, I was afraid you'd get back to that.
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Season 6

The Dominators [6.1]

(10 August - 7 September 1968)
The Doctor: An unintelligent enemy is far less dangerous than an intelligent one, Jamie. Just act stupid. Do you think you can manage that?
Jamie: Oh, no, you're not thinking of what I think you're thinking of, are you?
The Doctor: That, I think, Jamie, depends upon what you think I am thinking!

The Mind Robber [6.2]

(14 September - 12 October 1968)
The Doctor: We're nowhere. It's as simple as that.
Jamie: Come on, back to the TARDIS.
Zoe: Is that the right way?
Jamie: Of course it's the right way. No it could be... erm...
Zoe: We're lost, aren't we.
Jamie: No, I wouldn't say that. We're just er... well...um... [beat] You want to know something?
Zoe: What?
Jamie: I think we're lost.

The Invasion [6.3]

(2 November - 21 December 1968)
The Doctor: Oh, yes, it could be 20th century. England in summertime, I should say. See the rain clouds?
Isobel Watkins: You... You... you man! (in response to the Brigadier)
The Doctor: I hate computers and refuse to be bullied by them!

The War Games [6.7]

(19 April - 21 June 1969)
The Doctor: Well...it is a fact, Jamie, that I do tend to get involved.
The Doctor: The Time Lords are an immensely civilised race. We can control our own environment - we can live forever, barring accidents and we have the secret of space/time travel.
Time Lord: There is no escape, Doctor. Return the TARDIS to our home planet.
The Doctor Why can't you leave me alone?!
The Doctor: Goodbye, Jamie.
Jamie: But Doctor, surely we can't just-
The Doctor: Goodbye, Jamie.
Jamie: I'll never forget you, you know.
The Doctor: I won't forget you! Goodbye, Zoe.
Zoe: Will we ever meet again?
The Doctor: Again? Now, Zoe, you know that time is relative.
Time Lord: You have changed your appearance before. You will do it again; that is part of the sentence.
The Doctor: You can't just change what I look like without consulting me!
Time Lord: You will have the opportunity to choose your appearance.
The Doctor: Oh, then it won't be so bad. But I warn you, I'm very particular. (Looks at choices): He's too old! He's too fat! He's too thin! He's too young! No, he's too tall!
Time Lord: You're wasting time.
The Doctor: Well, it's not my fault, is it? Is this the best you can do? I've never seen such an incredible bunch!
The Doctor: NO!!!! Stop! You're making me giddy! No, you can't do this to me! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! (fading)
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Other appearances

The following serials occurred after the Second Doctor's era had officially ended (in the eras of the Third Doctor, the Fifth Doctor and the Sixth Doctor respectively) and thus are not technically part of this Doctor's era. As they are all quotes involving the Second Doctor, however, they are included here for the sake of completion.

The Three Doctors [10.1]

(30 December 1972 - 20 January 1973)
First Doctor: Now what's a bridge for? Eh?
Second Doctor: Well, erm...
Third Doctor: Crossing?
First Doctor: Right! So stop dilly-dallying, and cross it!
The Second Doctor: Ah, Thank You. I was wondering where I left that. [He picks up his recorder and tries to play a tune] You haven't been trying to play this have you? [To the Third Doctor's TARDIS] Oh, I see you've been doing the TARDIS up a bit. Hmm, I don't like it.


Jo Grant(referring to the first Doctor): I hate to ask, but who was that?
Both Doctors: Me. [beat, face each other] Me!
Second Doctor:This stuff, or whoever sent it, is cleverer than we are. Unfortunate, isn't it?
Second Doctor: You haven't seen my recorder, have you? It's a little thing about this long and I had it when I came in, and I put it down somewhere...
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: For the last time, will you let me out of this madhouse?
Second Doctor: There's no point.
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: I'm sorry Doctor, but I must insist. My place is with the men out there, trying to do something about that... whatever it is out there, not standing about here, messing around, looking for some damn fool flute!
Sergeant Benton: What are we going to do now?
The Second Doctor: Keep it confused, feed it with useless information--I wonder if I have a television set handy?
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: It seems to be your forte, Doctor; confusing people.
[The Brigadier sees the inside of the TARDIS for the first time.]
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: So this is what you've been doing wih UNIT funds and equipment all this time. How's it done, some sort of optical illlusion?
Second Doctor: No, no, no...they come like this, really.

The Five Doctors [20.7]

(23 November 1983)
The Second Doctor: [referring to UNIT headquarters] You've had this place redecorated, haven't you? Hmm, don't like it.
The Doctor: Well, I must say goodbye, Brigadier. I really shouldn't be here at all. I'm not exactly breaking the laws of time, but I am bending them a little.
The Second Doctor: Have faith, Brigadier. Have I ever led you astray?
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: On many occasions.
The Second Doctor: Yes... well, this will be the exception.
The Fifth Doctor: Well, now it seems we must part. Just as I was beginning to get to know me.
The Second Doctor: So you’re the latest one, hmm?
The Fifth Doctor: Yes, and the most agreeable.
The Second Doctor: Ah... certainly the most impudent.
The Third Doctor: Our dress sense certainly hasn’t improved much, has it?
The First Doctor: Neither has our manners.
[The Fifth Doctor looks mildly insulted/confused]
The Second Doctor: Goodbye... Fancypants!
The Third Doctor: [to his quickly retreating back]: Scarecrow!

The Two Doctors [22.4]

(16 February - 2 March 1985)
The Doctor: Officially I'm here quite unofficially.
The Doctor: Give a monkey control of its environment, and it will fill the world with bananas!
The Second Doctor: (after Dastari explains the augmentations that have been performed on Chessene) Dastari, I have no doubt that you could augment an earwig to the point where it could understand nuclear physics, but it would still be a very stupid thing to do!
The Second Doctor: Dastari, you have more letters after your name than anyone I know, enough for two alphabets. How is it that you can still be a stupid, incorrigable and thoroughly objectionible old idiot?! (Turns to Jamie) And what are you smiling at you... hairy legged highlander?
Jamie: I'm just admiring your (quoting the Doctor's words earlier in the TARDIS) diplomatic skills.
The Second Doctor: (preparing to leave the TARDIS) Jamie, stay with me, don't wander off.
Jamie: Do I ever?
The Second Doctor: It has been known.
The Second Doctor: Tea time already, nurse?
Sontaran: I do not understand.
The Second Doctor: Just as well; face like yours wasn't made for laughing.
Dastari: You have to be conscious while the neuron bombardment excites the brain cells, I shall then be able to examine them.
The Second Doctor: You should be examining your own brain cells, Dastari, most of them must have leaked out of your ears or you wouldn't be involved in this madness!
The Second Doctor: Do try and keep out of my way in future and in past, there's a good fellow. The time continuum should be big enough for the both of us. (Patting The Sixth Doctor's belly) Just.
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Last modified on 22 May 2013, at 04:44