Last modified on 15 April 2014, at 19:07

Scarecrow and Mrs. King

Scarecrow and Mrs. King (1983–1987) is an American television series that aired from October 3, 1983, to May 28, 1987 on CBS. Divorced housewife Amanda King and handsome spy Lee Stetson meet under unusual and desperate circumstances. Soon finding they need each other in cases that are a matter of life and death, they embark on a journey where Amanda finds her true talent as a black belt confuser and Lee learns stuff they don't teach you at the Agency.

Season 1Edit

The First Time [1.01]Edit

Lee: Just walk with me.
Amanda: I certainly will not!

Amanda: I don't want to buy a ticket. Do you know what I have on under this coat? A nightgown! [All the men on the train look up at her.] Do you think I expected to be on this train?
Conductor: Where did you expect to be?

Amanda: Phillip, do not hit your brother in the head with trash!

There Goes The Neighborhood [1.02]Edit

Francine: Billy! It was after six o'clock. Bumpy Holcomb would already be in the yacht by that time, halfway through his soup course.
Lee (laughing): Bumpy? [Francine turns to look at him, but actually avoids his eyes.]
Francine: To his more intimate friends, yes. [She looks back at Billy, pleased. But at Lee's next line, her smile fades. She cocks her head and gets a faraway look in her eyes.]
Lee: I'll never know what you see in that guy. He's hardly your type.
Francine: He's got money, looks, power, a house down in Rio. He's exactly my type.

Francine: Children. This case is nastier than I thought.

If Thoughts Could Kill [1.03]Edit

Lee: Uh-huh. And noises. Uh, squeaks, thumps. . . . Maybe it's a jungle. It's hot, steamy.
Amanda: Probably sexual. Freud would say.

Lee: Francine, if you could pinpoint the single major reason as to why Amanda King gets to you, what would it be?
Francine: Her complete lack of . . . everything.

Magic Bus [1.04]Edit

Amanda: When I told you not to call, I didn't mean you could come sit in my bushes!

Amanda: The weasel-faced man! Are we gonna smoke him out?

Emma: That Shecky Martino, the one that does all those jokes about the commode? He's a particular thorn in Gordon's side.
Amanda: You know, that thing he does with the rubber chicken is pretty funny, though.

The ACM Kid [1.05]Edit

Amanda: I can only assume this is you. Possibly because you're the only man I know who doesn't say hello, doesn't ask how I am.

Lee: Yes, Amanda. Danger, excitement. Intrigue.
Amanda: Oh, shut up.

Always Look A Gift Horse In The Mouth [1.06]Edit

Francine: I could have married royalty. A prince proposed to me once.
Billy: Why didn't you accept?
Francine: His country was too small.

Billy: Be nice.
Francine: When am I anything but?

Penelope: Oh-hoh!
Amanda: This is not an oh-hoh.
Penelope: Oh.
Amanda: Uh-uh. No, no. No. I don't know what that man wants.
Penelope: No?
Amanda: No!

Amanda: That was a very subtle performance you gave at the window. She thinks we're having an oh-hoh-hoh-hoh!

Service Above And Beyond [1.07]Edit

Billy: Who knows? Maybe he finds Amanda exotic and mysterious. [Lee peers at him out of the corner of his eye.] Think about it. [Lee stares at him, then sighs and closes his eyes.]
Lee: Amanda. Exotic . . . mysterious. . . .

Amanda: How'd you get me out of there?
Lee: I carried you.
Amanda: He carried me.

Saved By The Bells [1.08]Edit

Amanda:Is it legal in this state to grow penicillin?

Amanda: I don't know how anyone could mistake me for you, you're so much taller.

Francine: Uh, I really have to be going, could I take a raincheck on that strudel?
Dotty: Oh. All right. Be careful with that chimpanzee!

Sudden Death [1.09]Edit

Amanda: MMPH! Mmph! Mmph? Mmmmmm. . . .
Lee: I hope you, uh, got all you came for, Mrs. King. (He winks.) Interview-wise, that is.

Amanda: I can't believe I spent the night in a bookie joint in a straitjacket and my mother will never believe it.
Lee: Amanda, believe me, we have worse problems than your mother thinking you were shacked up.

The Long Christmas Eve [1.10]Edit

Lee: Now, don't be nasty, Francine, huh?
Francine: I wouldn't dream of it.

Amanda: Oh, that's all right. Look, how often does a suburban lady like me get to drink vodka with the KGB and eat beans on Christmas.

Remembrance Of Things Past [1.11]Edit

Amanda: Yes. I mean, I know I can't punch, but look, if anybody tried to attack you, I could confuse them to death. You know I can do that.
Lee: Oh, that I do. And believe me, when I need a blackbelt confuser, I will call you.

Lee: Look, Amanda, no one I know would ever look for me here and everyone you know is out of town. So if you could just get past the psychological barrier of having me around, everything would be great! So where do you want me to put my things? Hmm? [He walks away. Amanda stands there.]
Amanda: Guatemala.

Lost And Found [1.12]Edit

Dotty: Well, Amanda, I knew it would happen.
Amanda: What?
Dotty: My hula skirt rotted.
Amanda: I'm sorry, Mother.
Dotty: I have nothing now to show for my one and only trip to Hawaii. I wish your father had not dropped the camera out of the war canoe.

Dotty: Ah. Well, your poppyseed cake is your Sistine Chapel, Amanda, no one can top it.

I Am Not Now, Nor Have I Ever Been... A Spy [1.13]Edit

Amanda: You're a spy!
Lee: Guess what.
Amanda: What?
Lee: You are, too.'
Amanda: Oh, my gosh!

Lee: Billy, her brain has gone . . . blooey, zippo, casa de nada.

Dead Ringer [1.14]Edit

Amanda: Mother, what is Dengue fever?
Dotty: [Dotty closes the door to the fridge and whirls around with the grapefruit in hand, her eyes wide.] Oh, my God. Is that going around? I thought I was just getting a little head cold.

Amanda: How did you find us?
Lee: Well, I saw somebody try to drive a station wagon through a swamp.

The Mole [1.15]Edit

Jamie: Hurry up, Phillip bats clean-up.
Dotty: Clean-up. They have you batting according to cleanliness and neatness. It's nice.

Blue Leader: Scarecrow, this is Blue Leader.
Lee: Yes, sir.
Amanda: Where? Where is Blue Leader?
Lee: Shh.

Savior [1.16]Edit

Amanda: Um, Rosemary? Not Rosemary. Sounds like Rosemary. Mrs. Marsten, could you give me a little hint? No, of course you couldn't. Um. . . . Rosebud! Rosebud. Rosebud, of course.
Mrs. Marsten: Have a nice day, Mrs. King.

Billy: Yeah. Poor Fred. What about you, Amanda? When did you actually find out about the bomb?
Amanda: Oh. [She laughs nervously. Lee straightens and looks at her out of the corner of his eye.] Just before it didn't go off.

The Artful Dodger [1.17]Edit

Francine: Ooh, Amanda, dear, is that why you're busy tonight? Very busy, apparently, hmm?
Lee: Amanda, do you know what that is?
'Amanda: Yes, it's a, um, it's a friendship ring.
Lee: No, it's a Concubine ring.
Amanda: No, it isn't, it's a friendship ring.
Lee: It's a Concubine ring, there's a whole collection of them in the Topkapi Museum, I know that for a fact.
Amanda: Yes, I know that, I know that. I know that. It's a friendship ring. It was given to me by a friend, and therefore it is . . . simply . . . a friendship ring.
Francine: Okay. Sure. Friendship.

Amanda: Would you like a straw?
Lee: Uh, no. No, a straw wouldn't look right with soup.

Filming Raul [1.18]Edit

Francine: It's funny, I never knew that coat made me look so --
Amanda: Big. Oh, it doesn't.

Lee: Hey, come on, Amanda, look. You're going to be all right. You're protected by the best there is in the business.
Amanda: I don't want the best there is, I want you.
Lee: Oh.
Amanda: I'm sorry, that didn't come out the way that I meant it.
Lee: Oh, thanks a lot.

Fearless Dotty [1.19]Edit

Amanda: What did you do?
Francine: Oh, I spiked his instep with my heel, thumbed his eyesockets, pressed my forearm against his larynx, and then brought up my knee in a lifting motion.
Amanda: I just screamed.
Francine: Hm. So did he.

Dotty: You can't be too cavalier about knees and elbows. They are very tricky propositions.

Dotty: Am I dry yet?

Weekend [1.20]Edit

Waiting For Godorsky [1.21]Edit

Season 2Edit

To Catch A Mongoose [2.01]Edit

Amanda: Oh, thank heavens -- you're okay!
Lee: I will be when you get off my arm.

The Times They Are a Changin' [2.02]Edit

Double Agent [2.03]Edit

The Legend of Das Geisterschloss [2.04]Edit

Charity Begins at Home [2.05]Edit

Brunettes Are In [2.06]Edit

Our Man in Tegernsee [2.07]Edit

An Affair at Bromfield Hall [2.08]Edit

A Class Act [2.09]Edit

Playing Possum [2.10]Edit

The Three Faces of Emily [2.11]Edit

Ship of Spies [2.12]Edit

Spiderweb [2.13]Edit

A Little Sex, a Little Scandal [2.14]Edit

A Relative Situation [2.15]Edit

Life of the Party [2.16]Edit

Odds on a Dead Pigeon [2.17]Edit

Car Wars [2.18]Edit

D.O.A.: Delirious on Arrival [2.19]Edit

You Only Die Twice [2.20]Edit

Burn Out [2.21]Edit

Murder Between Friends [2.22]Edit

Vigilante Mothers [2.23]Edit

Season 3Edit

A Lovely Little Affair [3.01]Edit

Faber: Just a minute, Mr. Stetson. There's a little matter of ladies underwear.
Lee: Look, lady, a good friend of mine is rubbing elbows with some of the most blood thirsty terrorists in the world, and she doesn't know it. I'll have to get back to you on that underwear problem...

We're Off to See the Wizard [3.02]Edit

Over the Limit [3.03]Edit

Tail of the Dancing Weasel [3.04]Edit

Welcome to America, Mr. Brand [3.05]Edit

Sour Grapes [3.06]Edit

Utopia Now [3.07]Edit

Reach for the Sky [3.08]Edit

J. Edgar's Ghost [3.09]Edit

Flight to Freedom [3.10]Edit

The Wrong Way Home [3.11]Edit

Fast Food for Thought [3.12]Edit

One Bear Dances, One Bear Doesn't [3.13]Edit

Playing for Keeps [3.14]Edit

The Pharoah's Engineer [3.15]Edit

The Truimvirate [3.16]Edit

The Eyes Have It [3.17]Edit

Wrong Number [3.18]Edit

The Boy Who Could Be King [3.19]Edit

Dead Men Leave No Trails [3.20]Edit

Three Little Spies [3.21]Edit

All the World's a Stage [3.22]Edit

Season 4Edit

Stemwinder 1 [4.01]Edit

Francine: I thought Dr. Smyth was going to get off his rump for once and stop it.
Dr. Smyth: I got off my rump. Fat lot of good it did. Hi, guys...

Dr. Smyth: Sweat the housewife... and bring me Stetson's beating heart. Kay?
Dr. Smyth: Hot confetti!

Stemwinder 2 [4.02]Edit

Lee: I'm American... I like ice.

Unfinished Business [4.03]Edit

No Thanks for the Memory [4.04]Edit

It's in the Water [4.05]Edit

Night Crawler [4.06]Edit

Billy's Lost Weekend [4.07]Edit

Photo Finish [4.08]Edit

The Man Who Died Twice [4.09]Edit

Need to Know [4.10]Edit

Santa's Got a Brand New Bag [4.11]Edit

Any Number Can Play [4.12]Edit

Promises to Keep [4.13]Edit

Rumors of My Death [4.14]Edit

Bad Timing [4.15]Edit

Do You Take This Spy? [4.16]Edit

Mission of Gold [4.17]Edit

One Flew East [4.18]Edit

All That Glitters [4.19]Edit

Suitable for Framing [4.20]Edit

A Matter of Choice [4.21]Edit

The Khrushchev List [4.22]Edit

CastEdit

External linksEdit

Wikipedia
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